3.6/10
648
31 user 38 critic

Things (1989)

Unrated | | Horror | Video September 1989
An impotent husband, driven by a fanatical desire to father children, forces his wife to undergo a dangerous experiment. The result: the birth of a multitude of monstrous THINGS.

Director:

Andrew Jordan
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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
Barry J. Gillis ... Don Drake / TV Maniac
Amber Lynn ... Reporter
Bruce Roach Bruce Roach ... Fred Horton
Doug Bunston Doug Bunston ... Doug Drake
Jan W. Pachul Jan W. Pachul ... Dr. Lucas
Patricia Sadler Patricia Sadler ... Susan Drake
Gordon Lucas Gordon Lucas ... Tortured Man
Bruce Hamilton Bruce Hamilton ... In Dream
Daryn Gillis Daryn Gillis ... Reporter #2
Allison McGinnis Allison McGinnis ... Reporter #3
Jackie Seaman Jackie Seaman ... Doctor's Assistant
Jeff Payne Jeff Payne ... Hanging Man
Jessica Stewarte Jessica Stewarte ... Nude Lady
Glenn Orr Glenn Orr ... Stretcher Boy
Tom Hochman Tom Hochman ... Igor
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Storyline

An impotent husband, driven by a fanatical desire to father children, forces his wife to undergo a dangerous experiment. The result: the birth of a multitude of monstrous THINGS.

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

Conceived by a lunatic, hatched within a human womb... See more »

Genres:

Horror

Certificate:

Unrated | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:

View content advisory »
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Details

Official Sites:

Official site

Country:

Canada

Language:

English

Release Date:

September 1989 (USA) See more »

Also Known As:

Вещи See more »

Filming Locations:

Ontario, Canada See more »

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Box Office

Budget:

CAD 30,000 (estimated)
See more on IMDbPro »

Company Credits

Production Co:

Left Field Productions See more »
Show more on IMDbPro »

Technical Specs

Color:

Color (Super 8 & 16mm Film)| Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.33 : 1
See full technical specs »
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Did You Know?

Trivia

Amber Lynn read all her lines off of cue cards. See more »

Goofs

Much of the audio does not match what the characters are saying. Likewise, characters mouths frequently move but no sound comes out. See more »

Crazy Credits

You have just experienced Things. See more »


Soundtracks

Additional Music
Performed by Familiar Strangers
Courtesy of Familiar Strangers
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User Reviews

 
A genuine brain-melting atrocity.
3 November 2008 | by TheAgonyOfPlasmaSee all my reviews

Hello there. I'm a fat beer drinker from Japan. Beer is pronounced "bi-ru" in Japanese. Microbrewed beers are called ji-biru and are very popular. If I want to get drunk I am gonna buy some Asahi, Kirin, Suntory and Sapporo and get drunk as quickly as I can. You know, I'll get drunk with or without you, my Japanese babe. I'll drink beer till' my head explodes. Because drinking beer is better than having sex, I kid ya not. "Things" is a perfect film for dedicated beer lovers and booze enthusiasts. Grab some beer whilst watching this psychedelic piece of horror. Just beware: there 's still a couple of losers up there, don't let 'em drink all the beer. I'd love to drink some beer with Don Drake and Fred Horton from "Things" - these guys are beer-loving maniacs. There is not enough beer for 'em in the refrigerator. Hey sexy girl, may I ask for another Sapporo? You must see "Things" with me... I have seen "Horror of the Hungry Humongous Hungan", "Plutonium Baby", "Troll 2", "Night of Horror", "sLaughterhouse II", "Bloodsucking Kettle from the Alien Zone", "Raping My Pink Bunnies", "Sorority Girls and the Creature from Hell", "The Crawlers", "Porno Zombies", "Nightmare Weekend", "The Brain" and I must say to you, my lovable angel: "Things" tops them all. Chock full of blood and gore, farting ant-like creatures, bad acting, cheap hooker in the mask showing her snatch, chainsaw dismemberment and... beer. 9 out of 10 for thingies, who enjoy drinking booze. A beer smacking masterpiece of horrific horror. Biiru mo kudasai!


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