Things (1989)

An impotent husband, driven by a fanatical desire to father children, forces his wife to undergo a dangerous experiment. The result: the birth of a multitude of monstrous THINGS.

Director:

Andrew Jordan

Writers:

Barry J. Gillis, Andrew Jordan

Stars:

Barry J. Gillis, Amber Lynn, Bruce Roach

Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
Barry J. Gillis	...	Don Drake / TV Maniac
Amber Lynn	...	Reporter
Bruce Roach	...	Fred Horton
Doug Bunston	...	Doug Drake
Jan W. Pachul	...	Dr. Lucas
Patricia Sadler	...	Susan Drake
Gordon Lucas	...	Tortured Man
Bruce Hamilton	...	In Dream
Daryn Gillis	...	Reporter #2
Allison McGinnis	...	Reporter #3
Jackie Seaman	...	Doctor's Assistant
Jeff Payne	...	Hanging Man
Jessica Stewarte	...	Nude Lady
Glenn Orr	...	Stretcher Boy
Tom Hochman	...	Igor

Storyline

An impotent husband, driven by a fanatical desire to father children, forces his wife to undergo a dangerous experiment. The result: the birth of a multitude of monstrous THINGS.

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Plot Keywords:

canuxploitation | female nudity | gore | surreal | no budget | 

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Taglines:

Things, A Movie That Defines What Cult Really Is...

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Genres:

Horror

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Certificate:

Unrated

Details

Official Sites:

Official site

Country:

Canada

Language:

English

Release Date:

September 1989 (USA)

Also Known As:

Вещи

Filming Locations:

Ontario, Canada

Box Office

Budget:

CAD 30,000 (estimated)

Company Credits

Production Co:

Exosphere Motion Pictures, Left Field Productions

Technical Specs

Color:

Color (Super 8 & 16mm Film) Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.33 : 1

Did You Know?

Trivia

The sandwich eating scene was actually filmed over a few days because not all three cast members of the scene were there at the same time. This is of note for the moment when the three characters toss a bottle cap between each other.

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Goofs

When a Thing bites off Doug's fingers a person's hands are clearly seen holding the Thing puppet by the sides to move it into shot. Immediately after, a person in a white shirt walks past the camera lens, who is not dressed like the two characters involved in the scene.

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Crazy Credits

The song 'Gentle Breeze" which is played during the ending credits,is performed by the band Familiar Strangers of which Bruce Roach is the keyboardist.

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Connections

Referenced in Best of the Worst: Ghetto Blaster, Terror in Beverly Hills, and Killing American Style (2014)

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Soundtracks

You Got Yourself in a Tailspin
Performed by Familiar Strangers

User Reviews

Worst thing to come out of America's hat

I am a bad movie buff. But "Things" made me hate all of Canada by proxy. It is seriously that bad. I watched it TWICE. Once with a buddy. (He has not visited my house since then, so he might not be my buddy anymore. I don't blame him, really.)

Then I showed it at a get-together with about a dozen friends who also love bad films. My hopes were that their good spirits and jolliness would find some seeds of corn in this turn. They were game - they tried to joke and laugh at it, but in the end it was Man vs. Machine. And, sadly, "Things"'s mean-spirited stupidity and bad sound quality triumphed over my friends' willpower - by the end, their spirits were broken. All they could do was sit there glumly and say mean things about my mom.

I am a bad movie buff, so I thought I "needed" to see Things. I was wrong. If you are a bad movie buff, and you're considering this, back away slowly. Trust me. You do NOT need to see Things. It is worse than Curse of Bigfoot. It is worse than The Creeping Terror. It might not be worse than the soul-crushing dreariness that is Theodore Rex, but it's a toss-up. Get out while you still can.

I actually BOUGHT this thing, and it's sitting on my DVD shelf right now. It's making me dislike the movies that sit next to it on the shelf by association. It's honestly that terrible.