Blue Streak (1999)
Tulley: I'll rip your lips off, and kiss my ass with them shits. I'll rip your tongue out, and lick my balls with it.
Miles Logan: [talking to Deacon] I know you don't want to go to jail in Mexico because nobody wants to go to jail in Mexico. They put all kinds of burritos in your ass.
Miles Logan: Damn. What happened? Did you eat the whole time I was in there? Wait a minute, that's alright. I can adjust, it's the love that counts. I can adjust to a plus size woman, just more cushion for the pushing.
Shawna: Janiece! Your sad-ass sack of bones is here!
Miles Logan: I apologize, you're her cousin. Can I buy you some cereal?
Melissa Green: [being interrogated] What can you tell me about Miles?
Tulley: All I can tell you is that he's gay! GAY! GAY! GAY!
Miles Logan: "Can't believe so much bad shit can happen on such a beautiful day."
Miles Logan: Put your hands on the Oodles of Noodles.
Tulley: Chicken or beef?
Miles Logan: Chicken. Cool. Cool is good.
Miles Logan: Tulley? What are you doing?
Tulley: I'm freaking working over here.
Miles Logan: Hey, this is the police. Move your busted-ass vehicle. Move, move, move, move. This is the LAPD. We'll pop one in your ass. We got guns and shit.
Miles Logan: What are you gonna do with one shoelace? Floss your ass with it.
Tulley: He also called me ugly and said I couldn't read good.
FBI Agent Gray: All right Detective Malone. Now the objective here is to have these individuals look upon you as if you were one of them, a member of the criminal underworld. So it's important that your actions, your speech, and your general mode of behavior is all congruent with their expectation of a fellow criminal.
Miles Logan: Oh, okay, I get it. S-sorta walk the walk.
FBI Agent Gray: That's right.
Miles Logan: Yeah.
FBI Agent Gray: You have to look, act, and even think like a criminal. And you're gonna have to change your speech patterns too. Most criminals like to use slang terminology, and profanity, and so forth, especially with regard to police and authority figures.
Miles Logan: Oh, you mean like, "Shut the hell up you d*ckless FBI..."?
FBI Agent Gray: Okay that's right, that'll do.
Miles Logan: "You stupid-ass..."
FBI Agent Gray: That'll do.
Miles Logan: No, "You tight-ass..."
FBI Agent Gray: Enough!
Miles Logan: No, I'm over your head, because your head's up your ass.
[Miles looks at street signs, then the sign on the building]
Miles Logan: 5th and Grand? To protect and to - - ?
[throws a fit]
Tulley: That guy Logan owes me $50,000... If I don't get it soon, I'M TALKIN'.
[Miles grabs the diamond]
Miles: Got the rock. Time to roll.
Miles Logan: We can't get out of here. They got cops everywhere.
Tulley: So? You're one of 'em.
Miles Logan: No, I'm a drug dealer now!
Tulley: Man, why you sellin' this shit when you got that big diamond in your hand?
Miles Logan: Why are you hitting mom-and-pop stores anyway? Look, you're a driver, man. You got skills, Tulley. You could be out there on the road, man, doing your shit!
Tulley: Well, I'm desperate! 'Cause I need some money, too! And why the freak are we whispering?
Miles Logan: Don't you ever get all up on this thing?
Carlson: I don't think I've ever gotten all up on anything, sir.
Miles Logan: Carlson. I've got something to tell you. I'm not from West Covina. I'm from Internal Affairs.
Tulley: And then he said I was ugly and I can't read good.
Miles Logan: All right check this out: This is a Brigga 3300, toughest safe in the world. What's the first thing you do?
Eddie: Drill the lock.
Miles Logan: No! You got to check to see if it's open.
Miles Logan: [excited] It's open!
Eddie: [surprised] Really?
Miles Logan: Nah I'm messin' wit- I'm messing with you! They would never do that! Now Eddie, you know they would never do that!
Miles: You want thirty-one flava's? Baskin and Robbins is where you wanna be. Be cool.
Miles Logan: Lay off the cold cuts. It's comin out your pores. It's seepin.
Prison Guard #37: One belt, one shoelace, one wallet containing twenty-two dollars.
Miles Logan: One shoelace? Yo, man. Do you know how much them shoes cost? One shoelace? I came in here with two. You took my shoelace? Did you take my shoelace, man?
Prison Guard #37: You got two seconds to walk out that door. Sign out and leave my pen.