If You Only Knew (2000)

A romantic comedy about a young man who pretends to be gay in order to rent an apartment with his dream girl. His plan backfires when she keeps trying to set him up with her male friends.

Director:

David Snedeker

Writer:

Gary Goldstein

Stars:

Johnathon Schaech, Alison Eastwood, James Le Gros

Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
Johnathon Schaech	...	Parker Concorde
Alison Eastwood	...	Samantha
James Le Gros	...	Jack (as James LeGros)
Gabrielle Anwar	...	Kate
Paul Sampson	...	Matt
Annie Corley	...	Joanne
Miguel A. Núñez Jr.	...	Troy (as Miguel Nuñez)
David Markey	...	Tom
Tiffany Fraser	...	Holly
Joey Travolta	...	Newspaper Editor
Rainbeau Mars	...	Kim (as Rainbow Mars)
Frank Vincent	...	Gino
Lainie Kazan	...	Bess
Dayna Danika	...	Bag Lady
Victor J. Pancerev	...	Trippy Guy

Storyline

Parker Concorde, a freelance writer by trade currently working for the Psychic Pals phone service to make ends meet, is out of a home after accidentally starting a fire to his New York City apartment. Barely able to stand sacking out at his noisy pal Jack's place, he finally finds new digs with Samantha, who only rooms with gay men. With currently no other place to live, Parker allows her mistake over his sexual orientation to pass uncorrected, which later leads her to believe she's helping him out by setting him up on dates with her gay friends. Truth is - he's falling hard for her, and somewhere between dealing with her philandering boyfriend and dating other men he needs to set the record straight.

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Plot Keywords:

apartment | new york city | fire | psychic hotline | rock band | 

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Genres:

Romance | Comedy

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Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated PG-13 for sexual content and some language

Details

Country:

Germany USA

Language:

English

Release Date:

21 June 2002 (Italy)

Also Known As:

Who's on First

Filming Locations:

Los Angeles, California, USA

Box Office

Cumulative Worldwide Gross:

$6,349

Company Credits

Production Co:

Cinerenta Medienbeteiligungs KG, Two Sticks Productions

Technical Specs

Color:

Color

Did You Know?

Trivia

FBI Agent McCurley is given the same name as actor Doyle McCurley who plays him. The lost boy at the airport is named Alex, which is also the same name as actor Alexander Sferrazza who plays him.

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Goofs

When Parker confesses to Sam, the shadow of a boom mic slides up and down her hair.

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Quotes

Samantha: That's the great thing about painting. If you don't like something, you just paint right over it and start fresh.

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Crazy Credits

Outtakes are shown during the closing credits

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Connections

References West Side Story (1961)

User Reviews

Not bad(yawn!)

"If You Only Knew" is about a straight man (Schaech) who pretends to be gay so he can get a deal on a NYC flat and move in with a beautiful woman (Eastwood) who likes to have a gay roomie for security reasons. The flick works the premise to death, lags some in the middle, is obvious and predictable, jerks from one concocted situation to the next, but does manage to deliver a modicum of entertainment. Catch it on broadcast and give it a try. C-