I'm Too Sexy

Trying to make sense of this porn feature is futile, and it doesn't take The Borg to let you know that. With the magic of fade out and fade in, five disconnected scenes add up to a big nothing.

It opens with Melanie Moore as Miss May on cable TV giving ladies instructions on how to be sexy, mainly relying on wearing sexy lingerie. Star of the movie Deidre Holland watches her intently and goes out to buy some lingerie. We see T. T. Boy have sex with Moore and they talk dirty.

Next up, busty blonde Gail Force humps Marc Wallice as pointless filler, though perhaps it fits in somehow. That's because vignette #3 has Deidre returning home angry, having called her butch friend Chanel to visit her and listen to her problems. Seems she's just caught her husband having sex with his secretary -one can infer (the movie isn't much help) that Wallice is the husband and Gail is the secretary.

In the only extended dialogue scene that even vaguely resembles a real script, Chanel agrees to a scheme of tempting hubby back to wifey by staging a lesbian sex scene (Chanel & Deidre) to fulfill Marc's fantasies. Sure enough, we see Wallice watching the hot duo have girl/girl sex.

Out of nowhere a scene of Jon Dough humping Deidre is thrown in, cross-cut with a threesome of Chanel and Marc Wallice with Melanie Moore of all people. It's as if the fictitious director "F. Ross" shot five sex scenes on a tight schedule and didn't have enough time to devote to enough dialogue scenes to tie them up together.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained -all-sex content masquerading as a movie.