[reading a sign, "Do Not Touch - Willie"]
Homer: Do not touch Willy. Good advice.
Principal Skinner: Children, I couldn't help monitoring your conversation. There's no mystery about Willy. Why, he simply disappeared. Now, let's have no more curiosity about this bizarre cover-up.
[Principal Skinner is having a meeting with parents, but burning Willie rushes into the room]
Groundskeeper Willie: Help! Please, help me!
Principal Skinner: Willie, don't worry! Mr. Van Houten has the floor.
Mr. Van Houten: I, for one, would like to see the cafeteria menus in advance so parents can adjust their dinner menus accordingly. I don't like the idea of Milhouse having two spaghetti meals in one day.
[before anyone could answer, the entire class looks directly at Willie, who explodes into flame and screams]
Homer Simpson: [after putting his finger through the wall] That's weird, it's like something out of that twilighty show about that zone.
Homer Simpson: This place looks expensive. I feel like I'm wasting a fortune just standing here. I better make the most of it.
[after Homer steps out into 3D land]
Homer Simpson: [disembodied] Hello? Can anybody hear me?
Marge Simpson: Homer! Where are you?
Homer Simpson: Uh, I'm somewhere where I don't know where I am.
Marge Simpson: Do you see towels? If you see towels, you're probably in the linen closet again.
Homer Simpson: Just a second... no, it's a place I've never been before.
Selma: Hmm. The shower.
Homer Simpson: Hey! I don't want to alarm you, Marge, but I seem to be trapped in here.
[while Bart is playing frisbee with his dog, Willie arrives at his front yard]
Groundskeeper Willie: Glad to rake your acquaintance.
Bart Simpson: [Bart wakes up screaming]
Bart Simpson: [sighs] Ohh... it was only a dream.
[Bart sees the scratches on his body and screams again]
Homer Simpson: [from elsewhere, sounding worried] Bart! Is that you?
Bart Simpson: Yes!
Homer Simpson: Take out the garbage.
Ned Flanders: [looking for Homer] Well, as the tree said to the lumberjack, "I'm stumped."
Selma: Huh. It's like he just disappeared into fat air.
[she and Patty laugh]
[Homer looks at goldfish in a pond]
Homer Simpson: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm... unprocessed fish sticks.
[after Willie explodes into flame and screams, he becomes a skeleton]
Groundskeeper Willie: You'll pay for this! With your children's blood!
Chief Wiggum: Yeah, right. How ya gonna get 'em, skeleton power?
Groundskeeper Willie: I'll strike, where ya cannot protect them... In their dreams!
Homer Simpson: Ooh! Erotic cakes!
[Homer walks inside a bakery]
[Homer's father, Abraham, arrives at his house wearing a diving suit]
Abraham Simpson: I'll save Homer! All I needs is four stout men to work the bellows.
Prof. John Frink: No, pops, it's too risky! For all we know, there could be cubes in there the size of gorillas and other large...
Homer Simpson: [disembodied] Help! I don't have much time.
[in his dream, Martin is dressed as a wizard]
Martin: I am the wondrous wizard of Latin! I am a dervish of declension and a conjurer of conjugation, with a million hit points and maximum charisma.
[Martin spots a blackboard with verbs written all over it]
Martin: Aha! "Morire": to die. "Morit": he, she, or it dies.
[Willie morphs out of the blackboard; Martin gasps]
Groundskeeper Willie: "Moris"? You die!
Martin: [runs off] Aah!
Groundskeeper Willie: [laughs] You've mastered a dead tongue, but can you handle a live one?
[Willie's tongue shoots out of his mouth, wraps around Martin, and squeezes him]
Groundskeeper Willie: [in class, Martin twists and screams, then collapses on the floor]
Nelson: Ha ha!
Marge Simpson: Kids, it's time we told you the true story and put your fears to rest. It's a story of murder and revenge from beyond the grave. It all started on the thirteenth hour of the thirteenth day of the thirteenth month. We were there to discuss the misprinted calendars the school had purchased.
Homer Simpson: Brrr! Oh, lousy Smarch weather.
Homer Simpson: [Thinking] Oh, glory of glories. Oh, heavenly testament to the eternal majesty of God's Creation.
Homer Simpson: [Speaking] Holy macaroni!
Dr. Hibbert: Homer, this is your physician, Dr. Julius Hibbert. Can you tell us what's it like in there?
Homer Simpson: Um, it's like, uh... did anyone see the movie Tron?
Dr. Hibbert: No.
Lisa Simpson: No.
Chief Wiggum: No.
Marge Simpson: No.
Bart Simpson: No.
Chief Wiggum: No.
Ned Flanders: No.
Prof. John Frink: No.
Reverend Lovejoy: No.
Chief Wiggum: Yes. I mean, I'm a-I mean, no. No.
Lisa Simpson: Well, where's my dad?
Prof. John Frink: Well, it should be clear to even the most dimwitted individual - who holds and advanced degree in hypothetical topology - that Homer Simpson has stumbled into...
Prof. John Frink: ... the Third Dimension!
Lisa Simpson: [Turns light back on] Sorry.
Prof. John Frink: Here is an ordinary square...
Chief Wiggum: Whoa, whoa, slow down, egghead.
Prof. John Frink: But suppose we extend the square beyond the two dimensions of our own universe along the hypothetical Z-axis there.
[All gasp in astonishment]
Prof. John Frink: This forms the three-dimensional object known as a cube, or a frinkahedron, in honor of its discoverer.
Homer Simpson: Help me! Are you helping me or are you going on and on?
Prof. John Frink: Oh, yeah. And of course within we find the doomed individual.
Chief Wiggum: Enough of your borax, Pointdexter! A man's life's at stake. We need action!
[Fires gun at portal]
Chief Wiggum: Take that, you lousy dimension!
Bart: Willie's gone for good. Now I can get back to my normal dreams - me and Krusty winning the Super Bowl.
Bart: I'll save you, dad. I can't get any closer. You'll have to jump.
Homer Simpson: Piece of cake, son. Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap!
[Homer falls right into the hole and goes into pieces which then explode]
[after Willie gets turned into a bagpipe spider and grabs Bart]
Bart Simpson: Help, Lisa! Help!
Lisa Simpson: [as she approaches Bart] Bart, you're in trouble! Wake up!
Bart Simpson: Wait a minute... if you're here, then you've fallen asleep too!
Lisa Simpson: I'm not asleep, I'm justing resting my eye...
Lisa Simpson: [Willie grabs Lisa] ... uh-oh! Goodbye, Bart.
Bart Simpson: Goodbye, Lis. Hope you get reincarnated as someone who can stay awake for fifteen minutes!
Homer Simpson: Ah, the Miracle Mile. Where value wears a neon sombrero and there's not a single church or library to offend the eye.
Lisa Simpson: Hey, Springfield! Are you suffering from the heartbreak of monsteritis? Then take a tip from Mr. Paul Anka!
Paul Anka: [singing] To stop those monsters, one, two, three / Here's a fresh new way that's trouble-free / It's got Paul Anka's guarantee...
Lisa Simpson: Guarantee void in Tennessee.
Kent Brockman: Even as we speak, the scourge of advertising could be heading toward your town. Lock your doors, bar your windows, because the next advertisement you see could destroy your house and eat your family.
Homer Simpson: We'll be right back.
Lisa Simpson: Bart, don't you realize what this means? The next time we fall asleep, we could die.
Abraham Simpson: Bah! Welcome to my world.
Homer Simpson: Oh, no. Better ride this one out in the closet.
[Opens closet door; Bart and Lisa are inside]
Lisa Simpson: Sorry, dad. This is our spot.
Homer Simpson: Oh, yeah? But it's my house, so it's my spot.
Bart Simpson: Nu-uh, 'cause we called it.
Homer Simpson: Did not.
Lisa Simpson: Well, we're calling it now.
Homer Simpson: You are?
Bart Simpson: 'fraid so.
Homer Simpson: Oh, you got me with your legal mumbo jumbo.
Marge Simpson: Bart, what happened?
Bart Simpson: Well, we hit a little snag when the universe sort of collapsed on itself. But dad seemed cautiously optimistic.
Homer Simpson: Craaaaaaap!
Bart: And then he raked at me across the crest. and then the weirdest thing was, it was that school janitor who mysteriously disappeared! Groundkeeper willie!
Bart: You're right. The only thing left to do is go into my dream and force willie into final showdown. You stay awake. And if it looks like I'm trouble, wake me up.
Bart: Help! Lisa, help!
Lisa Simpson: Bart, you're in trouble! Wake up!
Bart: Wait a minute - if your'e here, then you've fallen asleep, too!
Lisa Simpson: I'm not asleep, I'm just resting my eye - ut-oh. Agh! Aaagh! Good-bye, Bart.
Bart: Good-bye, Lise. I hope you get reincarnated as someone who can stay awake for fifteen minutes!
Lisa Simpson: Bart, the next time we fall asleep we could die.
Abraham Simpson: Ha! Welcome to my world.
Bart: What are you waiting for? Wreck the school. You know you wanna.
Bart: Come on, Willie. I know you're out there. The sandbox! Hey, lawn boy! You missed a spot!