Galaxy Quest (1999)
Sam Rockwell: Guy Fleegman
Guy Fleegman : I'm not even supposed to be here. I'm just "Crewman Number Six." I'm expendable. I'm the guy in the episode who dies to prove how serious the situation is. I've gotta get outta here.
Guy Fleegman : Did you guys ever WATCH the show?
[the rock monster chases Nesmith]
Alexander Dane : You're just going to have to kill it.
Jason Nesmith : Kill it? Well, I'm open to any suggestions.
Tommy Webber : Go for the eyes, like in episode 22!
Jason Nesmith : He doesn't have any eyes, Tommy!
Tommy Webber : Go for the mouth, then, the throat, his vulnerable spots!
Jason Nesmith : It's a rock! It doesn't have any vulnerable spots!
Guy Fleegman : I know! You construct a weapon. Look around, can you form some sort of rudimentary lathe?
[after the Blue Creatures have eaten Limpy]
Jason Nesmith : Ok, here's the plan: first, Fred, we need a diversion to clear these things out of the compound, then Gwen, Alex, Fred and I go down to get the sphere. Any of those things come back Tommy, give a signal. Guy, you set up a perimeter.
Gwen DeMarco : Why does this sound so familiar?
Tommy Webber : "Assault on Voltarek III". Episode 81 I think.
Guy Fleegman : We're doing episode 81?
Tommy Webber : Whatever, the one with the hologram. The wall of fire.
Gwen DeMarco : How the hell is Fred supposed to project a hologram?
Guy Fleegman : We're doing episode 81, Jason?
Jason Nesmith : It doesn't have to be a hologram, just a diversion.
Guy Fleegman : Jason, are we doing episode 81 or not?
Jason Nesmith : It's a rough plan, Guy, what does it matter if we're doing episode 81 or not?
Guy Fleegman : BECAUSE I DIED... IN EPISODE 81!
[the crew is on a shuttle descending to an alien planet]
Guy Fleegman : I changed my mind. I wanna go back.
Sir Alexander Dane : After the fuss you made about getting left behind?
Guy Fleegman : Yeah, but that's when I thought I was the crewman that stays on the ship, and something is up there, and it kills me. But now I'm thinking I'm the guy who gets killed by some monster five minutes after we land on the planet.
Jason Nesmith : You're not gonna die on the planet, Guy.
Guy Fleegman : I'm not? Then what's my last name?
Jason Nesmith : It's, uh, uh - -I don't know.
Guy Fleegman : Nobody knows. Do you know why? Because my character isn't important enough for a last name, because I'm gonna die five minutes in.
Gwen DeMarco : Guy, you have a last name.
Guy Fleegman : DO I? DO I? For all you know, I'm "Crewman Number Six"! Mommy... mommy...
Sir Alexander Dane : Are we there yet?
[Fred and Larali start to passionately kiss]
Guy Fleegman : [Turns away, embarrassed] Hey... Get a room guys.
[Larali's alien tentacles start to slide up Fred's back and over his shoulder]
Guy Fleegman : Woah!
[Fred looks down at the tentacles, his eyes roll back, and he starts kissing again]
Guy Fleegman : Heh, C'mon Fred.
[Fred and Larali drop to the floor and out of sight. A high pitched squishing sound is heard]
Guy Fleegman : Oh *that's* not right! No...
Fred Kwan : Hey, Commander. Listen, we found some beryllium on a nearby planet. And we might be able to get there if we reconfigure the solar matrix in parallel for endothermic propulsion. What'd'ya think?
Jason Nesmith : We'll do that!
Guy Fleegman : All right!
Fred Kwan : [to his engineering team] That's right again. That's... come on, group hug.
Gwen DeMarco : [after Jason leaves for the ship] Wait! We want to go, too.
Laliari : You all wish to go to the ship?
Gwen DeMarco : Yes, we wish to go to the ship. See we work together or not at all!
Laliari : Wonderful. The captain had me continue transmission in case you changed your minds.
[speaking into her vox]
Laliari : Protector, requesting four pods...
Guy Fleegman : [Interrupts] Oh, me too!
Laliari : Five pods for immediate departure.
Gwen DeMarco : [after the pods appear on the ground] Guys... Guys?
Laliari : I look forward to meeting you all in person. End transmission.
[bows to the crew members and disappears]