Heaven's Tears is close to the worst film I've ever seen. The plot is so ludicrous and implausible, it's incomprehensible. A soldier in the Nazi army during Hitler's regime, whose father is in the upper ranks of the Third Reich, is driving in the country one afternoon when he clips the bicycle of a teenage girl who appears suddenly before he can stop. The girl is knocked off her bicycle and the officer stops to attend to her. The girl is not seriously hurt. She's also beautiful, and the officer is instantly smitten. The girl also turns out to be Jewish, which, needless to say, is more than a minor inconvenience for the young couple. True love is not to be deterred, however, and the Nazi and the Jewish girl set out to persuade their families to accept their unlikely match, as well as their respective communities that each is wrong about the other. Where is Hank Williams, Jr., when you need him?
It gets worse from there, as well as more imbecilic a plot as the story progresses (not to mention seriously offensive). It defies imagination that someone fancying himself a writer could sell this script to a film studio, and that any producer would consider making it a movie. The film was made in The Netherlands, no doubt because no studio in the US would touch this idiotic piece of trash with a pole of any length, which actually restores a drop of respect to my regard for Hollywood. Even as an "it's-so-bad-it's-hilarious" diversion, I could not stomach watching it to the end. Ed Wood himself never crafted as nonsensical a stink bomb as this. Zero stars.
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