L'homme que j'aime (TV Movie 1997) Poster

(1997 TV Movie)

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7/10
Risk, Risqué, Risky
NJMoon16 October 2005
The American video release of THE MAN I LOVE wants us to think that this is quite a different film. Note how the pool (which is an indoor facility in the film) is depicted as outdoors, flanked by exotic palm trees? Clearly, this isn't going to be an unconventional romance with an AIDS storyline, right? Wrong! Like the box cover, THE MAN I LOVE tries to have it all by challenging expectations - and it often succeeds.

Like YOU'LL GET OVER IT and JUST A QUESTION OF LOVE, this is another French teleplay with a gay coming-out / coming-of-age theme. What makes this film different, however, is that it refuses to be defined by one genre or other. The story tracks the relationship between straight blonde Adonis diver Lucas and lovelorn gay activist pool attendant Martin - and it is an odd match indeed. At first, Lucas' brusque (borderline rude) behavior to the insistent protestations of love from Martin (all within the first five minutes) seems odd and clearly aimed for comic effect. But the film will not be content with that. As the story progresses it is clear that Martin is the catalyst to Lucas realizing his buried sexuality and finding true love and fulfillment. On the way, it is revealed that Martin is in the last stages of AIDS. This aspect of the story is somewhat softened to preserve the romantic aura, but the sense of impending loss on Lucas is what is key here, not the details of Martin's illness.

The filmmaker's paint a vivid picture of Marseille and seem as in love with the vistas as they are with the characters. Even interior sequences feature windows revealing magnificent views. As if to say, that the world cannot be shut out, and that life lies waiting just outside. The film's biking sequences are key to this sense of 'jois de vive'. Even taking cinematic risks does not derail this film. Having Martin's dead lover on screen during Martin's revelation about him seems a bit much, especially when he leans into the flame to blow out birthday candles. Later, Lucas searches an empty house for the absent Martin and camera trickery has Lucas turn up both at the beginning and end of a slow pan. And what gay film would be complete without the exotic? Enter Martin's mother Rose in a pink car and bearing a more than passingly resembling a drag queen on wheels. Their arm-in-arm exit from a church has the trio walk directly toward the camera and stop - smiling. As if a photographer was taking their wedding photo. Sadly, they are the sole members of the wedding party. But even this does not daunt them. They remain smiling. Staring at us.

THE MAN I LOVE is a unique adventure. Set aside your expectations and look beneath the surface (a pool analogy, yes) and you'll see a film that takes chances - and one that more often than not succeeds.
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8/10
An unknown little gem
Impish1 March 2006
After seeing Brokeback Mountain, I've been adding to my film library more gay-themed films. Because I'm a collector, I've been buying films I haven't seen before.

Some of them are simply awful in their script, acting, and/or direction, but remain in my library because of the "piece of history" they represent. And once in a while, I hit upon a truly outstanding film that surpasses expectations in all these ways.

L'Homme Que J'Aime ("The Man I love") is one such hidden gem. The story is moving, the characters charming, the acting believable, and everything put together by a competent director.

Like Brokeback Mountain, the story involves an ostensibly straight man falling for another man, but this time, the object of his affection is an openly gay man. To Americans, that may seem to stretch the realm of possibility too far. I lived in France for a year, and the plot line seemed perfectly believable to me in the context of French culture. Note also that this film was made for French TV... which tells me that the story was considered "mainstream" enough to be broadcast in France.

This little gem of a movie is available on DVD, and I highly recommend it. In French, with optional English subtitles.
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8/10
Uplifing love story
Guy3313431 January 2000
"L'Homme que j'aime", which outside of France, is being shown as a theatrical movie at several festivals is an upbeat love story, albeit not your conventional love story. First, it is a gay love story. However, it is mainstream in that it is distributed by La Sept-Arte, and features Mathilde Seigner, one of France's most prolific youngish stars. This is a love story which conquers all. Seemingly unsurmountable difficulties are, at the end of the day, surmounted., and overall, the movie transmits a very positive message, unusual both in contemporary gay films and French films in general.
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DARLING, JE VOUS AIME BEAUCOUP......('Nat' wasn't French---but he says/sings it best)............
arizona-philm-phan4 March 2004
Warning: Spoilers
------------((....watch for that first kiss......on the neck............it's...))-------------.

CHAPTER I-----Wherein we are introduced to a wondrous and heart-lifting love, a love being given us...........

........by the French, who have long been renowned as masters of old-fashioned, romantic film-making, usually involving man and woman. But 'usually' is not the case here, because what they instead bestow upon us is a tale of a 'different kind of love'----one that is showcased in a marvelous, but largely unheralded, 1997 film entitled: "The Man I Love." Surprisingly made for French TV, this is an Aids-related story of gay love being found while at the same time being lost. It literally "vibrates" with a style that's been pretty much unique to the French. Unique, that is, until the more recent arrival of such gay-themed, American-produced titles as "All Over the Guy" and, newer still, "Latter Days" and "Brokeback Mountain." In these productions, US filmmakers at last approach the French in 'realistically' depicting gay love.....and by 'love' I mean a couple's not only making a total commitment to one another but doing so openly (except for "Brokeback"). Embarrassingly, up until around the year, 2000, American-based directors and their lead male couples never quite appeared to be completely and truly comfortable and at ease in the gay love they were attempting to put across on the screen. But it is just such a high level of comfort and ease which was earlier captured in "The Man I Love," a motion picture in which you can actually visualize love emerging and growing.....something that would seem impossible to capture on film.

Meet now the two male leads with whom we have been gifted:

--MARCIAL DIFONZO BO, as 'Martin'---an Aids victim not yet giving up on life or finding love, who instantly recognizes that love the moment he sees a blond-god of a man appear, in of all places, on the front edge of a high-dive board. 'Martin' until then had nothing to continue living for, but with this new love in his life, the impending loss he faces becomes emotionally catastrophic......for us as well. How this story prepares him for that coming loss, and how we are allowed to watch his setting up a legacy which will buoy his new lover when the loss does occur, is a touching and heart stirring tale.

--Most notably, though, we are presented the beautiful JEAN-MICHEL PORTAL, as blond 'Lucas' (that man on the board), in an uncanny characterization of one who, till now, has known only heterosexual love. Yet in this story he finds himself being faced with emotions of an entirely different nature.....emotions that he invites us in to watch as they "take him over." It is Portal's striking performance which allows the audience to actually see the growth and realization of this new, this different kind of love. Through his eyes, his facial expressions, and his body language, he does, indeed, present a love emerging (even though initially resisted) and growing. He begins his journey by almost reluctantly "giving up" his female lover/companion, as he commences "relating" more and more to 'Martin'. The movie viewer can virtually see his internal feelings for M. developing and "happening"......it's an experience akin to watching the "speeded-up-on-film" opening of a bud to blossom. Another way of saying this is, if you've heard the old expression about a person's "being bought out of their shell," then, here, with Portal's performance you can actually see someone undergoing such a transformation.

CHAPTER II----Wherein we are delightedly introduced to a Michelin Guide's Mother of all Mothers..........

........and the French do even this best. Actress, Vittoria Scognamiglio's 'Rose' is a 3-Star wonder to behold. She is every gay boy's "dream-delight" of a parent; a someone who even rid herself of a homophobic husband so that 'Martin' could grow to be who he should be.......happily and without fear. There's no one 'Me're Rose' would not take on who might stand in the way of her beloved son's full enjoyment of his time left.

EPILOG / EPILOGUE----Wherein we bid a fond farewell to..........

........our two terrific leading men: "Salut, Martin! // Salut, Lucas! Thank you for sharing your wonderful journey."

PS--This is, without doubt, an unusual film experience, and as one earlier reviewer said: "Repeated viewings only seem to make the story more meaningful." Now, please let me add: do not hesitate in adding it to your personal collection.

----------(Darling, je vous aime beaucoup /// Darling, I love you very much)-----------

****
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10/10
French Film Making At Its Best!
AutographLover4 December 2003
I Loved this movie. It was passionate, believable and just a beautiful film all the way around. One of those movies you don't just watch but you feel. Highly recommended for fans of foreign gay cinema! This director and all of the actors are superb!
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7/10
Swimming pool
jotix1009 November 2006
Warning: Spoilers
The thing one could say about Stephane Giusti, the director of this film, is that he is not afraid to present a gay story with dignity, something that only Indie films could do in America. This made for television drama captures two young men falling love with one another and trying to deal with AIDS in a positive manner.

Martin has to take only one look at Lucas, the new man in the pool where he works, to fall for him. Lucas, alas, doesn't know he is gay. He lives with Lise, his girlfriend, but he succumbs to Martin's attentions because he sees a kind soul that loves him. At the same time, Lucas is not fair to Lise, dumping her without much warning.

This film fails to show a dying man, suffering from a horrible disease, in a realistic way. It appears the director and his team has not seen people in their last days, and what AIDS do to them. The great irony being, these people don't deserve to die from it. Martin, with his good dark looks, is not totally convincing he is a man facing a horrible end at all. In a way, we kept remembering another film, "Love Story", in which the heroine, also fighting a terminal illness, looks gorgeous until she dies.

Jean-Michel Portal and Marcial DiFonzo Bo, seen as Lucas and Martin, do a great job in the film. Mathilde Seigner, an actress we have admired throughout her career is convincing as Lise, the girl Lucas abandoned for another man. Vittoria Scognamiglio, plays Martin's mother, Rose, and she does justice to her name appearing in pink outfits and even driving a pink Mercedes!
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a touching and moving surprise
hamlet-1610 November 2001
An unexpected delight. This is a touching and moving exploration of both coming out and the tragedy of love.

Delicate performances and a wonderful sense of humour permeate the story.

Even Marseilles seems as inviting as the arms of Martin.

Despite the underlying sense of oncoming tragedy it does not overwhelm the beauty of this simple modern gay love story.

Keep an eye out for the pink Mercedes Benz. It adds a little touch of the absurd to the mix!

A film to enjoy and savour many times!
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10/10
Lovely story with a twist
rkuan61228 June 2002
Interesting characters make this movie so funny. I hope we can see more movies like this in U.S. Although filmed in 1997, this made-for-TV movie is sure a great one that will be remember for a long time in its genre. The movie is about being not afraid to love and to look for love no matter what the situation is, and always be true to yourself! Hopefully, there will be a distributor to release this film here soon.
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CSI Miami?
gregj77724 July 2004
Strange summary but let's face it- Jean-Michele Portal's excellent portrayal of "Lucas" reminds me of H of "CSI: Miami". Nearly emotionless, yet full of passion. Too bad American TV is not as sophisticated. I would be willing to bet that nothing was said against the film when it was screened on French TV. Try that in America, land of the free? I doubt it. What are people so afraid of? People in love? Amazing. A magnificent performance by the entire cast. The cute little church toward the end was very nice, as was the entire scenery. Many thanks for a realistic story that saves us the fluff but provides closure and meaning along with hope. Nobody is forgotten. Merci.
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Keep your hankies handy
Scott Casey4 March 2004
First of all, the theatrical packaging for this movie totally misrepresents it as a romantic gay comedy. A third of the way into the film it turns into an AIDS tragedy. Nothing wrong with that, but it's not what I was expecting when I rented it.

The previous posters seem to think this movie is a comedy. I must have seen a different movie from them. I agree it's a good film, but I didn't find anything comic about it. I was crying throughout the last half hour or so.

Well, it's an interesting film and I think it's worth seeing. I just wonder why all gay movies have to be about AIDS.

That said, I think it's a good portrayal of a presumably straight man falling for a gay man and embracing gay sex. The actor playing Lucas does an excellent job as the confused straight boy who finds himself falling in love with Martin no matter how hard he tries to fight it.

I just wish someone would write a gay movie where nobody has AIDS.

Ken
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10/10
A beautiful movie!
Scott91022 July 2004
Such a beautifully made movie. Definitely one of the best gay movies I have ever watched.

In the end the movie, I found I really began to care about the characters and all i could wish is for Martin to be alive.Two actors' performance are simply superb.And there is no explicit sex scenes, no cheap laughters, no foul languages, just the subtle yet strong love between Lucas and Martin, which I could really feel. My only slight reservation is just the tragic end. Why did one of the character always have to die in a gay themed movie? But,still,this movie definitely moved to tears.

My rate:10 out of 10
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6/10
Not what it is packaged to be
richard-178720 June 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Here in the US this movie is packaged as gay soft-porn, which it isn't. That isn't to say that there aren't scenes of two guys in bed together naked having sex; there are, but they aren't pornographic. Instead, this is a perfectly decent but largely by-the-numbers made-for-TV French movie that, like made-for-TV movies in the US at that time, often dealt with some IMPORTANT SOCIAL ISSUE OF THE MOMENT, in this case AIDS.

Please understand, I do not by any means mean to trivialize the tragedy of AIDS, not at all. It is just that this movie is so predictable in its treatment of it, and so predictably uplifting that, even 12 years later when AIDS is no longer a death sentence, it seems like it is presenting everything through rose-colored glasses. Martin, who is gay, falls in love with Lucas, who thinks of himself as heterosexual and lives with a woman. Martin makes a good impression on Lucas' girl-friend for a variety of reasons, and through her gets to see Lucas socially as well as at work (the two men work at a natatorium, so Martin gets to see Lucas in a skimpy swimsuit for a living). It doesn't take long for Lucas to develop a liking for Martin, and eventually he leaves his understandably upset girlfriend for his new boyfriend. When Lucas discovers that Martin is in an advanced stage of AIDS - this in 1997, before all the treatments that have changed the meaning of those terms - he's upset, of course, but remains with Martin. There are fights and misunderstandings and reconciliations, etc. Lucas stays with Martin to the end, and even after his death still hears Martin whistling the song he used to whistle at work. Life goes on in a setting - Marseilles - that is always as pretty as the proverbial postcard.

Martin never goes through - or takes us through - the worst stages of AIDS, the dementia, the blindness, etc., but then not all AIDS sufferers went through that, and it is true that Martin does technically commit suicide by jumping into the swimming pool, in part to avoid such things. There is virtually NO issue of social ostracizing either because of the two men's homosexuality or because of Martin's AIDS, which even in 1997 France was not realistic. This is THE SERIOUS SOCIAL PROBLEM OF THE WEEK, but LITE; nothing to make the general television audience really uncomfortable.

All the acting is believable. Mathilde Seigner was then at the beginning of a career that has since moved on to the big times of feature films. She still plays the same annoying and in the end unpleasant character. Though the movie never makes an attempt to explain why Lucas eventually opts for a homosexual relationship rather than a heterosexual one, few men of any sexuality would have problems understanding why Lucas does not find it hard to leave her.

Some of the cinematography is very beautiful. The story is set outside Marseille, close to the French Riviera, and there are lots of beautiful scenes along the very beautiful coast that are shot very beautifully. There is also some intelligent cinematography, as when Lucas finds Martin's apartment empty and the pan shots of the empty rooms keep finding him in different places.

Still, in the end, this a a movie about beauty - beautiful places, beautiful weather, beautiful bodies - that does not want to stray too far from any of that into real ugliness, so it never does. I suspect I will have forgotten most of it within a week, but it was pleasant enough watching while it lasted.
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6/10
What a difference 18 years can make.
Suradit15 February 2015
I'm sure I watched this … along with many other dramas that focused on the hopelessness surrounding AIDS, the medical-governmental indifferent & inadequate response, the sudden awakening & coming out of a man who was either in denial or (somewhat absurdly) unaware that he could be attracted to men … years ago and found it touching and emotionally engaging.

Watching it in 2015 makes a big difference. The characters and situations now seem pretty clichéd and evoke less of an emotional response. Martin now appears self-indulgent, self-absorbed. His quest to win over Lucas at first is relentless and determined, but once Lucas begins to express interest in and compassion for him, Martin becomes, at times, cold and antagonistic towards Lucas. Yes, Martin is going to die soon and is undergoing a roller coaster ride of emotions as he faces that prospect, but the transition from being outwardly rather frivolous and carefree to being moody & bitchy once Lucas has left his wife/girlfriend and has become unrealistically devoted to Martin erodes much of the sympathy one could feel for Martin. Maybe the amount of time the movie spent showing Martin in pursuit of Lucas compared to the relatively short time showing him pushing Lucas away magnifies the apparent abruptness in the change, just as it seems to make Lucas' transition from indifference & antipathy to love & devotion a bit hard to accept.

The movie is valuable for its historical perspective on this devastating time and for its insight into the drama that it produced in the "entertainment" world but, like most reactionary, socially provocative theater, it becomes dated and a bit quaint with the passage of time.
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10/10
One of my favorite
percyshe28 October 2014
I came across this movie accidentally, and it keeps me thinking of love in the last few days.The two guys are prefect for each other, and after watching the movie I just wanna car but can't cry out. I am so happy I watched this one and this movie makes me wanna pursue my true love thought I still don't know where he is. Loooooooov this movie! I think Lucas is lucky, he finally understand what true love is and for Marten, he also tastes the best of love. I somehow feel surprised this movie was shot in 1997, because even until today, it still can be ranked as my top 5 list of gay theme movies. For the last 26 years of my life, I didn't think love between lovers was important to me. I have wonderful parents and grandma and that's enough for a family. I don't wanna pursue my real love to hurt them, gay is still something unacceptable in my country. But I don't wanna marry a girl who I don't really love, that's unfair for her and I simply can't do that. But after this movie, I start to understand how important it is to pursue real love and how important is it is to taste the best part of life no matter what the result would be . Just like the lyrics goes: cause you bring out the best in me like on one else can do. That's why I am by your side, that's why I love you.
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10/10
Touching & Sad
donwc19968 September 2014
Warning: Spoilers
First of all this film is about a man dying of AIDS so if that bothers you this film is not for you. However, it is also very touching and beautiful but also very sad. The dying man falls in love with a hunky lifeguard who apparently is closeted and lives with a girl but who ultimately comes out with the dying man and falls in love with him. The fact he accepts the man's death sentence is very touching and sweet and you have to wonder if you could do a similar thing. But love is love and here love wins out. The cast is pure heaven - the two male leads and the two female leads - and their interaction is sublime magic, filmmaking at its best. The locations on the French coast are absolutely gorgeous and had me running to Google to check the French coastline and see where the locations settings were which I was able to find.
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6/10
"Philadelphia" Easy One
Silitonga24 October 2013
Actually, I don't really like gay movies about AIDS because it just too "fantasy". I don't mean to be rude, but bring up AIDS, just too risky and narrow. I mean between love and sadness there are many differences. And this two usually overlap.

I have to say I enjoy this "The Man I Love". The director trying to make the story as simple as it can be. There are many cute and loving scenes that makes me laugh. It's funny. And the director really did great job about that.

I've watched "Philadelphia" and Tom Hanks really did a great job too and he deserved an Oscar. It's hard and serious one. I'm glad to say that "The Man I Love" is the easy going one. Not in the bad way, just the weight of the story.
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7/10
Real Life vs. Reel Life
Franco-LA3 July 2008
Warning: Spoilers
It's interesting to read the user comments after you have seen a movie. I think for Philadelphia, it was important to see the decline in health in Tom Hanks. In this movie, it's not unusual for someone with 2 (or even no) t-cells to be able to bike ride, work, etc. In fact, it's not uncommon. This is true today and this was true a decade ago, in 1996-97, when the film would have been in production and release. I myself knew someone with no cd-4 cells, who worked, worked out, etc.

Yes, this movie clearly takes some liberties with real life - however, all films do. Otherwise, they would be documentaries! The key is how well written and how well performed is the film - and are these liberties necessary to the plot or are the simply plot devices and short cuts taken by lazy and sloppy (or inexperience and inartful) filmmakers. In this case, the one real liberty that the filmmakers have taken -- that the character of Martin could fall genuinely in love (as opposed to lust) with the character of Lucas within the first five minutes of the film, or that Lucas would eventually discover - not so much his true nature but that he could care for and be genuinely in a romantic love to Martin, are the liberties taken. But these are crucial to the entire movie and, in my opinion, well written and -- more importantly -- well performed by the two leads.

The movie features excellent performances all around, including the supporting characters. I would have given it a higher score if they had fleshed some scenes and developed some things more clearly. As finished, the film went through some things too rapidly that could have been more fully developed and that could have benefit by more time and exposition (for example, Martin's friends, the hospitalization towards the end of the film, etc.)

However, a recommended rental and if you are the type of person who likes to ad films to your permanent home collection, this is one that bears more than one watching, so it can be a welcome addition to said collection.
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9/10
Resonate Romance
harry-7612 March 2004
It was interesting to compare the makeup of Jean-Michel Portal's ill character in "L'Homme que j'aime" made for French tv in '97 to that of Tom Hanks's indisposed hero in "Philadelphia," released in America just four years earlier.

Although both characters had acquired an immune deficiency, their respective physical differences are striking. Whereas Hank's character was blistery, drawn and gaunt, Portal's was bright, clear-eyed and rosy.

Were there some remarkable international advances made in health care within those four years, or did the French simply have a leading edge in this arena?

Whatever the case, Portal's character stealthily pursues his chosen object of affection, convincingly played by Marcial Di Fonzo Bo, and there ensues a caring relationship.

This made-for-tv drama apparently connected with French audiences with its sensibly portrayed relationships, and director-writer Stephane Giusti can take credit for executing a nicely turned love story.
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7/10
Quality gay-themed cinema
teejay440729 November 2008
At the age of 55, I've spent my entire life in the USA and have rarely had occasion to view any "foreign" films. In seeking out gay-themed films to watch in recent months, I've discovered that the majority of those generally rated most highly by voters on this site aren't made here (in the USA), and so consequently, fully half of the films I've watched are European-made.

For me, most of these films suffer from three faults: (1) They tend to me far too "preachy." It feels like every scene is trying to demonstrate some important lesson in life, making the movies seem more like a classroom on the big screen rather than entertainment.

(2) The dialogue, even when it's not attempting to teach me something, is awkward and forced. People just don't talk that way; the conversations are always so unnatural that they come across being emotionless, and I don't don't feel emotion in the characters, there really is no point for my being in the movie theater.

(3) The story line is of little or no consequence, since all of the emphasis is given to making a point (see item 1). As a result, I rarely develop any interest in these films.

This movie was an exception to all of the above. Oh, you still do get banged over the head with some commentary on life's little failings, but only softly, and the dialogue could be warmed up and made more believable here and there, and now and then you want to scream at the way Lucas treats Martin or vice-versa - making them look a bit like cold fish, but those momentary lapses didn't seriously impede my enjoyment of the movie.

On the whole, I can happily recommend this movie to others like me for whom an emotionally interesting and involving story-line is the #1 consideration for enjoying a movie.
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10/10
Far the best movie I've ever seen
cherrylotus1 July 2000
This french TV Movie is just one of the best movies ever made.

The gay/straight relationship and the sadness of the story makes this movie into a very good drama, with some funny moments and some very erotic scenes. This is a must-see for everybody who likes good movies.
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5/10
Very annoying film
alexandre-extra23 May 2008
Warning: Spoilers
This is a french movie, but it's an exception to what french film-makers have got us used too. The plot is about two guys, in their 30's, which meet while working in a public swimming pool. One is openly gay and declares, on the first day on the job, is crush on the other guy - which is an assumed heterosexual and which he has just met.

The main character, the openly gay guy, is very annoying, bad actor, he passes 3/4 of the film irritating the other guy until he forcibly turns gay and moves in with him. The plot is very weak and has numerous flaws. Besides being annoying, the main character, hélas!, also has aids, and tells us that is T cell CD4+ count is «2» (sic!). Nonetheless, he is able to run, swim, ride a bicycle, scream, be so annoying, make picnics, look very healthy, be more muscled than the diver, etc.

There's an unbelievably ridiculous wedding scene, because on the verge of death, the annoying guy drives the other to a church and convinces the priest to marry them.

Overall, this movie really doesn't deserve our attention, and no more than a 5.
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