21 user 3 critic

The Man I Love (1997)

L'homme que j'aime (original title)
This is a combination coming out and first love story. The swimmer and diver Lucard is interested in attractive Martin. The film follows the characters' coming out with all its difficulties... See full summary »


Stéphane Giusti

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Cast overview, first billed only:
Jean-Michel Portal Jean-Michel Portal ... Lucas
Marcial Di Fonzo Bo Marcial Di Fonzo Bo ... Martin
Mathilde Seigner ... Lise
Vittoria Scognamiglio Vittoria Scognamiglio ... Rose
Jacques Hansen Jacques Hansen ... Père de Lucas
Stéphane Lévêque Stéphane Lévêque ... Mathieu
Karim Lounis Karim Lounis ... Pablo
Bernard Nissile Bernard Nissile ... Millau
Bruno Bonomo Bruno Bonomo ... Prêtre
Stéphane Giusti Stéphane Giusti ... Jérôme
Benjamin Sanchiarelli Benjamin Sanchiarelli ... Enfant aux fleurs
Serguei Tourountsev Serguei Tourountsev ... Doublure plongeon
Nedjib Djebarri Nedjib Djebarri ... Enfant piscine 1
Louis Philippe Lopez Louis Philippe Lopez ... Enfant piscine 2
Elisabeth Giusti Elisabeth Giusti ... Infirmière Martin 1


This is a combination coming out and first love story. The swimmer and diver Lucard is interested in attractive Martin. The film follows the characters' coming out with all its difficulties, the bitter-sweet pleasures of first love and the dreadful moment when one comes down to reality and realizes that one's beloved friend has a hard way to go yet. The positive message the film tries to transmit is the somewhat common motto "Live each day of your life as if it were your last." Written by Guy33134

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis


Drama | Romance | Sport







Release Date:

5 December 1997 (France) See more »

Also Known As:

Der Mann meines Herzens See more »

Company Credits

Show more on IMDbPro »

Technical Specs



Sound Mix:




Aspect Ratio:

1.78 : 1
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User Reviews

What a difference 18 years can make.
15 February 2015 | by SuraditSee all my reviews

I'm sure I watched this … along with many other dramas that focused on the hopelessness surrounding AIDS, the medical-governmental indifferent & inadequate response, the sudden awakening & coming out of a man who was either in denial or (somewhat absurdly) unaware that he could be attracted to men … years ago and found it touching and emotionally engaging.

Watching it in 2015 makes a big difference. The characters and situations now seem pretty clichéd and evoke less of an emotional response. Martin now appears self-indulgent, self-absorbed. His quest to win over Lucas at first is relentless and determined, but once Lucas begins to express interest in and compassion for him, Martin becomes, at times, cold and antagonistic towards Lucas. Yes, Martin is going to die soon and is undergoing a roller coaster ride of emotions as he faces that prospect, but the transition from being outwardly rather frivolous and carefree to being moody & bitchy once Lucas has left his wife/girlfriend and has become unrealistically devoted to Martin erodes much of the sympathy one could feel for Martin. Maybe the amount of time the movie spent showing Martin in pursuit of Lucas compared to the relatively short time showing him pushing Lucas away magnifies the apparent abruptness in the change, just as it seems to make Lucas' transition from indifference & antipathy to love & devotion a bit hard to accept.

The movie is valuable for its historical perspective on this devastating time and for its insight into the drama that it produced in the "entertainment" world but, like most reactionary, socially provocative theater, it becomes dated and a bit quaint with the passage of time.

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