E.T. the Vagina (1996)
** (out of 4)
Extremely bizarre spoof of Steven Spielberg's E.T. has the creature (a female) showing up on Earth so that she can learn human customs, which of course is nothing but various sexual acts. At first E.T. stands back and just watches but soon she gets curious and decides to join in the fun.
Okay, if you're willing to actually sit down and watch something like this then you should already know to brace yourself for something completely crazy. Well, if you're just expecting something crazy then you'll need to take a couple shots because this here is pretty much bat-crap loony from start to finish. I learned of this film from an episode of The Cinema Snob and the non-sexual clips from it made me curious as to how weird this thing could go and boy does it get nuts.
As far as a porno is concerned, it's pretty bad for a number of reasons but the biggest is the fact that they've set it in Victorian times and that means the women are wearing these large costumes, which they keep on during most of the scenes. To say this movie never reaches an erotic level would be an understatement but of course if you're watching this thing you want to see the E.T. spoof. Well, once the alien joins the act you can't help but scratch your head and squint at the same time. The say seeing this was weird just doesn't do it service because you see the female alien doing just about every sexual thing you can imagine. E.T. sucking on a.... You know. Just creepy.
The actual E.T. costume isn't all that bad even though it's clear the actress is just wearing some sort of clothing made to look like skin. The head of the costume is actually well-made all things considered. So, is E.T. THE VAGINA worth watching? If you're into searching out really bizarre movies then yes. You can't help but watch this thing partially interested and partially disgusted. It's certainly a very weird movie to say the least so fans of bad cinema or just downright freaky movies will want to check it out.
