That '70s Show (1998–2006)

Tommy Chong: Leo, Leo Chingkwake

Photos 

Quotes 

• Leo : [to Kitty in church]  I love it here. You can sing as loud as you want. That dude wails away on the organ. That dude up there tells stories. It's almost a religious experience!

• Leo : Hey man, you missed your shift at the Photo Hut. You better have a damn good excuse.

  Steven Hyde : I got busted.

  Leo : Damn. That's a good excuse.

• Leo : I saw a UFO once, man. It was just hanging there in the sky. Then it sent me a message, in big bright yellow letters. I told me I was gonna have a good year.

  Steven Hyde : Leo, was this UFO at a football game?

  Leo : Yeah, man! And the weird thing was, I was the only one freaking out about it!

  [Hyde, Fez, and Kelso start to laugh] 

  Leo : Wait a minute. Good year? It was a terrible year, man!

• [Leo just fired Fez from the PhotoHut] 

  Fez : But how am I supposed to pay for my shoes?

  Leo : Just do what I do, man. Take money from the register when the boss isn't looking.

  Steven Hyde : Leo... Once again... You are the boss.

  Leo : And, I'm not looking.

  [Hyde gives Fez the money] 

• Steven Hyde : I got busted for possession.

  Leo : Join the club.

  Steven Hyde : Yeah, thanks.

  Leo : No, I mean join the club, man. We meet every Thursday. We're trying to raise money for a field trip to Amsterdam.

• [Eric wants to impress Donna, so he gets her name tattooed on his butt by Leo] 

  Leo : Dude, Debby is gonna be real happy about this.

  Eric : Who's Debby?

  Leo : Hello? Your girlfriend, Debby? Jesus...

  Eric : Leo, her name is Donna.

  Leo : Oh... I can fix that.

• Leo : [to Kitty]  Hey, Mrs. Eric's mom.

• Leo : Ok, guys. I don't have any beer. I hate alcohol, and I won't have it in my house. So, we're gonna have to drink sake instead.

• Eric : Leo, you sell promise rings?

  Leo : Yeah, man. I sell rings and... other stuff.

  Eric : Ohh... We'll take two promise rings, and a misdemeanor's worth of the other stuff.

• Leo : Hi, Red. Would you give these to Kitty, please?

  [hands Red flowers] 

  Leo : Oh, and tell her I love her. Thanks.

  [leaves] 

  Red Forman : Oh, Kitty. These are for you. Looks like you got a date with a stoner.

  [Red and Kitty laugh] 

  Kitty Forman : [takes flowers and reads attached note]  "Roses are red, violets are blue. Milk, eggs, coffee."

• Steven Hyde : Yeah, I never thought I'd be a working man, man. But man, here I am, working for the man. You know what man, I like it man.

  Leo : Hey, thanks man.

• Red Forman : Kitty, I think we should rethink our 'Don't throw Leo out on his ass policy.'

  Kitty Forman : No, no. Leo stuck around because he cares about Steven.

  Leo : ...and plus I can't find my shoes, man.

• Steven Hyde : [When Bob and Midge renew their wedding vows, Leo is supposed to be the photographer]  Hey Leo man, you all set?

  Leo : Totally, man, I got everything.

  Steven Hyde : Great. Where's the camera?

  Leo : I got everything but the camera... or the film... or the flashcubes. Hee, I got nothin' man.

  Steven Hyde : Leo man, the photohut is loaded with that stuff.

  Leo : I know, it's ironic, isn't it?

  Steven Hyde : And yet not surprising.

  [Hyde hands Leo a camera] 

• Steven Hyde : Eighteen sucks, man, no more free rides. I mean, if there's a war, I could get drafted.

  Leo : If there's a war, I'll see you in Canada.

• Leo : In real life, my kids split on me.

  Steven Hyde : Really? My parents split on me.

  Leo : Oh wow. Now we found each other. Hey, do you wanna be my father?

• Leo : [Leo and Hyde playing Battleships]  B3!

  Steven Hyde : Hit! Damn, you sank my battleship!

  Leo : You know a well-maintained fleet is the backbone of any military structure, and with your floating arsenal depleted, your troops are likely to suffer some serious collateral damage.

  Steven Hyde : [confused]  Huh...

  Leo : Hey, you know what, man? I think I might have been in the Navy!

• Leo : Beer is evil. You know why they call it beer?

  Eric : No. Why?

  Leo : I'm just curious man.

• Leo : You can't go home, man. This pageant's your chance to spread some Christmas spirit. And that's contagious like VD.

• Leo : You know, you guys can hassle your skinny friend Eric, but when it comes down to a fundamental moral core he's the only one of you that's got one. So congratulations, you've ruined Christmas.

• Leo : I met God one time on a bus. He told me the meaning of life and gave me a pretzel.

  Steven Hyde : So, what's the meaning of life?

  Leo : ...I don't remember... but it was a pretty good pretzel.

• Steven Hyde : What is she doing here?

  Leo : I think she's hitting on me, man.

  Jackie Burkhardt : What are you talking about?

  Leo : What are you talking about?

  Jackie Burkhardt : What are you talking about?

  Leo : What are *you* talking about?

  Steven Hyde : Whatever.

  [leaves] 

  Jackie Burkhardt : Oh, great. Steven!

  [runs after Hyde] 

  Leo : What was she talking about?