Makai tenshô: The Armageddon

Well, admittedly, the full title of this film (as I saw it anyway), "Reborn From Hell: Samurai Armageddon" is truly one of the great ones of the late 20th Century. However, this movie is wack, and wack is truly the most accurate word for it. The opening is promising enough, with an evil overlord that looks like that crazy host guy with the beaded jackets from "Iron Chef" raising the first of his army of demon warriors--who bursts alien-style through the body of a nude Japanese virgin (the first of a legion of nude virgins). But, from there on in, aside from occasional bursts of gore (tons of very fake blood, until they get into battling demons, at which point they apparently ran out and went with green tempura paint), more toplessness, mediocre swordfights, green light bulbs, primitive blue-screen effects and pointless plot twists, there's not much to see here.

Even worse is that the ostensible hero is plodding along, working his way through the seven (well, sometimes there's nine, depending on who's was standing around in the dubbing booth right then, I guess) demon warriors and then all of a sudden we cut to evil Iron Chef guy going "Ah ha ha ha ha! There's still three more demon warriors to go! And Armageddon comes on June 6 at 6am! Ah ha ha ha!" And then the credits. What about the kidnapped chick!? What about the ostensible hero's impending showdown with his father!? What about Armageddon!? What about the other three to five demon warriors?! Sheesh.