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Charlie's Angels (2000) Poster

Quotes

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Chad: Is it the eggs?

Dylan: It's not the eggs.

Chad: Is it the boat?

Dylan: No, it's not the boat, I have to go though.

Chad: Is it the Chad?

Dylan: It might be the Chad.

Chad: The Chad... It's the Chad!

[Chad falls into the water]

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Charlie: Once upon a time there were three very different little girls who grew up to be three very different women with three things in common: they're brilliant, they're beautiful, and they work for me. My name is Charlie.

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Eric Knox: So where we going, House of Pancakes or The Sizzler?

Vivian Wood: What are you, the cheapest man on the planet?

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[ordering at the drive through]

Dylan: I'll have three burgers, three French fries and three cherry pies. What do you guys want?

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[one of Alex's muffins is embedded in the door]

Bosley: What do you call this?

Dylan: Chinese fighting muffin.

Bosley: That's not funny. A friend of mine took a fighting muffin in the chest; they sent him home in four Ziploc bags.

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Chad: The Chad... is stuck.

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Roger Corwin: You're very good. With your hands. I could use someone like you on my staff.

Alex: Thanks for the offer but my hands aren't going anywhere near your staff.

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Alex: All right, let's get one thing straight between us.

Jason Gibbons: Go ahead. We're way past keeping secrets at this point.

Alex: This is gonna be long, hard and rough.

Jason Gibbons: Sometimes when it's rough I just get there faster.

Alex: If you don't diffuse this bomb, Logan, LA is gonna become a new underwater attraction.

Jason Gibbons: Which wire? The red one or the blue one?

Alex: Bump bump baah.

Jason Gibbons: That is not helping.

Alex: Ooh, my muffins.

Jason Gibbons: This is stupid. Why wouldn't I just yank the wire.

Alex: No honey, the real mechanism is inside encased in a titanium shell, if you trip the external feedback circuit the bomb will detonate.

Jason Gibbons: Wow! You know for a bikini waxer you know an awful lot about bombs.

Alex: Isn't it amazing how much you can learn off of the internet?

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Alex: Your methodologies are antiquated and weak. Your procedures of approval ensure that only the least radical ideas are rewarded. Meanwhile your competition is innovating.

[whip]

Dylan: [quietly] Ow.

Alex: You. What was the last suggestion you made to your boss?

Red Star Systems Techie: I said the coke machine should be free.

Alex: Why?

Red Star Systems Techie: Because caffeine helps us program.

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Natalie: [to UPS guy] I signed that release form,so you can just feel free to stick things in my slot.

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Charlie: Good morning, angels.

DylanNatalieAlex: Good morning, Charlie!

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Alex: They're not Chinese, they're not fighting, they're blueberry!

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Vivian Wood: Never send a man to do a woman's job.

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Alex: Jason, I haven't been honest with you; I'm not a bikini waxer!

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Natalie: Where's Knox? Is he OK?

Dylan: He's fine. He's the bad guy.

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Natalie: I have to go. I can't explain now but will you call me tomorrow?

Pete: Sure.

[Natalie runs off. Runs back, kisses him and runs off again. Pete turns to the bouncers]

Bouncer: Oh, you bad!

Bouncer: Yeah, you bad!

Pete: Finally you guys warm up a little.

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[Vivian Wood steals Natalie's cell phone from her while she's talking to her friend Pete]

Vivian Wood: Is this the famous Charlie?

Pete: No, this is Pete.

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Alex: Flip your hair.

Natalie: What?

Alex: Flip your goddamn hair.

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Natalie: Oh!

[making bird noise]

Natalie: It's a sitta pygmaya. A pygmy nuthatch! They only live in one place. CARMEL!

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Chad: Starfish, I would just like to say that I'm honored, honored to see you taking an interest in my work and I also think you're very pretty and... (sees girls getting scuba gear on) Starfish? Where are you going? Starfish are you going swimming? Where are you going? Where are you going again Starfish? Was it the Chad?

Dylan: No the Chad was great.

Chad: The Chad was great.

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[Natalie, Dylan, Alex, and Chad are on a boat]

Natalie: Hey Chad, does this thing go any faster? We're kind of in a hurry, and I could really open her up, and if you wanted me to drive.

[turns to Dylan]

Natalie: I could drive, right?

Chad: I'm sorry, friend of Starfish, but there's only one captain of this love boat. That captain is me. The Chad.

Natalie: The Chad.

[both Natalie and Dylan are giggling]

Natalie: Chad, captain of the love boat-

Chad: [correcting Natalie] *The* Chad.

Natalie: We're kind of in a hurry.

Chad: [repeating] *The* Chad.

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Alex: Oh, my God, you're hit!

Jason Gibbons: No, it's nothing. I mean the squibs hurt a little when they go off but... what happened to my trailer?

Alex: Jason

Jason Gibbons: Were you in there while that happened? I mean, look at it!

Alex: Jason, I haven't been completely honest with you. I'm not a bikini waxer.

Jason Gibbons: Bummer. I mean... that was kind of a turn on.

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Dylan: And that's kicking your ass!

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Alex: What do you know, a guy who speaks Natalie.

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Pete: I'll get tickets.

Natalie: I love tickets!

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[mocking Eric Knox]

Dylan: I don't know how to make chicken... jerk.

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Eric Knox: I gotta go torture and kill your boss.

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Jason Gibbons: So when do I get to meet this Charlie.

Alex: Well, Charlie's not a very social person.

Jason Gibbons: But Charlie's a chick right? I mean, she's definitely a woman?

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Bouncer: Hey you! You wanna dance on stage?

NataliePete: Us? Yeah!

Bouncer: No. Stage is for the ladies.

Natalie: Oh, then you know what? I'm just gonna find a place on the floor.

Pete: [to bouncer] Wait a minute!

[to Natalie]

Pete: This is like Soul Train's highest honor, I am NOT gonna sit here and let you NOT go up there so yeah, she'll go.

Natalie: Really? Cause I've always wanted to go up there.

Pete: Have a great time!

Natalie: See you in a minute!

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Dylan: Figures that I would find the perfect guy, and he would already have the perfect girl.

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Natalie: Do you know how hard it is to find a quality man in Los Angeles?

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Natalie: They don't call me balls out Natalie for nothing.

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Natalie: Hey! I like that guy!

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[During Natalie's dream scene]

Natalie: Eduardo, move me.

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Eric Knox: You're a woman, you've got female intuition, *and* you're a detective... and you didn't know this was going to happen?

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Pasqual: You crazy bastard!

Dylan: [as Mr. Jones] I think you mean crazy bitch.

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Alex: Let's see if I can win the teddy bear!

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Natalie: Wait you guys, I'm not a yoyo!

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Eric Knox: You know they say that in death all life's questions are answered. Will you let me know?

[Knox shoots Dylan out the window]

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[first lines]

Flight Attendant: I said, "Look, lady, it's not the seats that have gotten smaller, it's your ass that has gotten bigger."

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[last lines]

Dylan: To Charlie.

Alex: To Charlie.

Natalie: To Charlie.

Bosley: To Charlie.

[falls over]

Bosley: Let me toast you ladies, with some ice cubes!

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Alex: Why do they always run?

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Natalie: Dylan? Hey, it's Nat. Listen, Vivian Wood is a fake and an all-around bitch. Her assassin just paid me a visit. We gotta warn Knox.

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Bosley: This place, it's Japanese, is it not?

Roger Corwin: It's a 13th-century Shinto temple. I had it...

[Bosley opens his mouth and leans forward, so his molar transmitter gets a clear signal]

Roger Corwin: I had it FedExed from Kyoto. Blowfish?

Bosley: Isn't that poisonous?

Roger Corwin: It's a rare delicacy, for the man who has no fear of an excruciating death.

Dylan: Technically, 1 in 60 is fatal.

Bosley: [trying a piece, then feigning falling over dead] Tastes like chicken. That would go very nicely with broccoli.

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Eric Knox: You know, Dylan, I think under different circumstances, I think you and I would've made a great couple.

Dylan: Yeah, if you hadn't shot me out the window and tried to kill everyone I love, I think we could have had a chance.

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Dylan: Corwin had nothing to do with this.

Eric Knox: No. But I never really liked him.

Dylan: And the kidnapping was a setup.

Eric Knox: 'Fraid so.

Dylan: And Red Star was a setup.

Eric Knox: Uh-huh. You got it all figured out. Any other questions?

Dylan: Why?

Eric Knox: Ask your boss.

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Charlie: With the micro-camera we planted on Corwin's briefcase, we've been able to study Red Star's layout.

Alex: There's the mainframe, just behind that door.

Eric Knox: Well, that's where my software would be, but the security looks incredible.

Alex: Yeah. Restricted access.

Dylan: Fingerprint ID.

Natalie: Retinal scanner.

Charlie: Angels, break it down.

Dylan: Only two directors at Red Star have access to the mainframe room. In order to get through the security system, they have to synchronize their entrance. A gelatin scanning plate takes exact fingerprints.

Natalie: A laser accurate to .009 millimeters scans the retina.

Alex: The mainframe is accessible only through an airless antechamber. A surveillance-monitored clean room.

Natalie: There's only one way to get through undetected: be invisible.

Alex: The floor is rigged with pressure sensitivity. Any contact which exceeds .25 seconds will trigger the alarm.

Vivian Wood: Sounds impossible.

Natalie: Sounds like fun.

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Alex: I don't know if I can keep up this façade with Jason anymore.

Dylan: You don't want to be a man who's intimidated by a strong woman, anyway.

Alex: You know, they come on all lovey-dovey until they find out I can shatter a cinderblock with my forehead.

Natalie: I love that trick.

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Eric Knox: [about Charlie] That man's got a beautiful telephone voice.

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Dylan: The kidnapping was a setup. He's behind the whole thing.

Natalie: What? Why?

Dylan: He wasn't exactly forthcoming when he shot me out the window.

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Bosley: And I had a really long talk with a squirrel one time, longer in fact than I can with most people.

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Roger Corwin: He said what? Over my dead body? I can accept those terms.

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Natalie: Alex! Don't let him get away!

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Chad: Good morning Starfish.

Dylan: Good morning Chad. Sweet Chad.

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Dylan: Hold that thought.

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Chad: Where are you going, Starfish and Friends?

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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