Alyssa Milano: Phoebe Halliwell

Charmed

Phoebe Halliwell

Phoebe: You're a monkey. Ooh, you're an angry monkey. Oh, you're pissed. You're- PMS monkey?

Phoebe: [singing] Oh, I'm making soup for Cole, he'll eat it in a bowl, I guess that's my new role, making soup for Cole.

[Piper walks into the living room to see Phoebe and Paige wearing beauty masks]
Piper: Ah.
Phoebe: What?
Piper: Oh, my God. You two could scare the hair off a cat. No demons dare drop by here.

Phoebe: Last night two guys held up a bar and a vigilante killed them.
Paige: Sounds more like you need an arrest warrant, not a potion.
Phoebe: Not when the vigilante is tall, dark and handsome and can send people flying with the wave of a hand.
Piper: Well, that doesn't mean it's Cole.
Phoebe: Did I forget to mention the scorch marks?
Piper: See, *that* means it's Cole.

Piper: I've come to the conclusion that if you've got it, then you must flaunt it.
[lifts her shirt a little to show her pregnant tummy]
Phoebe: That's my niece in that belly.
Paige: She's my niece, too.
Phoebe: Hi, niece. It's your favorite aunt, Phoebe.

[Prue and Piper just find out Leo is a Whitelighter]
Prue: What is he again?
Phoebe: He's a Whitelighter. You know, kinda like Peter Pan and Tinkerbell without the wings and the tutu.

Piper: So what do you say to an overbearing younger sister who's treating her pregnant older sister like a porcelain doll?
Phoebe: "Thank you"?
Piper: How about "Knock it off"?
Phoebe: That's probably better advice.

Phoebe: Where the hell is Leo, it's been five hours and he hasn't responded to any of my calls.
Chris Perry: I really don't know
Piper: Well I really think you do know
Chris Perry: Well maybe I do, and if I'm right, Leo's gonna need some major alone time
Piper: You know what? Cut the cryptic crap. I want you to go up there and bring Leo back now.
Chris Perry: Fine. But if I was you I would focus on finding a way to unfreeze Paige 'cause you're gonna need her... soon
Piper: I swear to God if he does not bring Leo back I am gonna blow his ass back to the future orbs and all.
Phoebe: Okay, Piper maybe it would be better if you go downstairs and spend some time with Wyatt... you're not breathing are you?
Piper: Nope
Phoebe: Breathe, inhale, exhale, okay next sister.

[Piper and Leo are down behind the bar. Piper giggles. Piper's cell phone rings and she pops up, out of breath to answer it]
Piper: Hello?
Phoebe: Hey, did you make the potion?
Piper: Potion? P-P-Paige is making the potion.
[Leo pops up beside Piper and starts kissing her neck]
Piper: And I have ten glorious minutes then I have to have my herbs.
Phoebe: Great, because I need your help fast. Karen's gonna get fired unless we get her advice column in by 8:00 tonight.
Piper: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: So what would tell a twenty-eight year old woman who's still living in her parents house because she's afraid of living alone?
Piper: I'd tell her to get a life.
Phoebe: How can I write that? We fight demons every day. How can I tell her that there's nothing to be afraid of, you know? (Piper makes a noise as Leo disappears behind the bar again, smiling.) What are you doing, Piper?
Piper: I am taking my own advice.
Phoebe: Eww.

Phoebe: So, we get to go back there? And we get to meet our grandfather?
Grams: Don't make too much out of it, because whatever you do, you can't change the past or tell anyone you're from the future.
Phoebe: [Indicates Chris] Well, why does he get to?
Chris: Because I know what I'm doing.
Grams: Not from where I'm standing.

Piper: Oh, you know what? She's getting angry. And our powers don't work so good when we're angry.
Mitzy Stillman: We've got them now.
Piper: Yeah, you've got us now so why don't you blow us up?
Phoebe: Piper, death bad, life good.
Paige: Don't worry, this bimbo couldn't hit the broadside of a beauty parlour. Check out that dye job.
[the blonde sisters gasp]
Mabel Stillman: How dare you!
[Mabel blows up the doors]
Piper: Run!

Phoebe: I forgot your question.
Piper: I asked if Prue was going to have sex with someone other than herself this year.
Phoebe: That's disgusting. Please say yes.

Phoebe: [about Leo's spell] "We harken ye"? What are we trying to summon a leprechaun here?