- Fry: You know the worst thing about being a slave? They make you work, but don't pay you or let you go.
- Turanga Leela: That's the only thing about being a slave.
- [Futurama in-show commercials]
- TV Announcer: Planet Express - Our crew is replaceable, your package isn't.
- TV Announcer: Futurama is brought to you by: Glagnar's Human Rinds - It's a buncha, muncha, cruncha... human.
- [crunch]
- TV Announcer: Lightspeed Briefs - Style and comfort for the discriminating crotch.
- Turanga Leela: Just make a simple cake. And this time, if someone's going to jump out of it, make sure to put them in after you cook it.
- Fry: [after waking up from a dream] What a weird dream! I'll never get back to sleep...
- [Fry goes back to sleep and snores]
- Turanga Leela: You just corralled a bunch of stiffs at the bus station and pocketed our money!
- Bender Bending Rodriguez: True. But in the end, isn't that what Valentine's day is really all about?
- Galaxy: When you do the right thing, people won't know if you've done anything at all.
- Tinny Tim: You raised my hopes and dashed them quite expertly, Sir!
- Turanga Leela: I'm sorry you had to see that, Fry, usually I let my sadness fester quietly inside as a Mental Illness.
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Hermes! Don't push that button!
- Hermes Conrad: [long bureaucratic pause] Okay
- Niblonian 1: I fear we are cute.
- Niblonian 2: Oh, niggle-snoosh!
- Fry: [Matrix Parody] When you say the human body is the most efficient thing to use as a battery, wouldn't anything make a better battery? Like a potato? Or a battery?
- Bender: But going through a divorce together, you can't pretend that didn't bring us closer together.
- Tinny Tim: Pardon me, kind Goon...
- Turanga Leela: Fry, you don't have an artistic bone in your body!
- Fry: I'll have you know that I bejazzle my own underpants!
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: No! I was about to close the deal!
- Fry: Bender! They had a backwards time machine!
- Humplings: Those are the 93 words we don't say!
- Hobo: I'm not drunk, I'm Mentally Ill! But I agree with what, what you said.