Beretta's Island (1993) Poster

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IMO the worst movie ever made.
jedralski17 February 2001
It's the worst movie I've ever seen. The action is so unclear, work of cameras is so poor, actors are so affected ... and this lamentable 5 minutes of Arnie on the screen. My advice from the bottom of my heart - don't watch it unless you like such a low class torture.
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1/10
HAHAHAHA! Oops! This isn't a comedy?
buzznzipp199519 July 2006
From the first time I saw the box cover of the movie and the stretched out photography I thought this guy, this friend of the 'Scwarz' must be like 6 foot or 6ft 2in.

Not 5 feet tall. Not that, it's his fault.

At any rating, I turned on the movie one cool night in Tucson, out on the second story-deck with a good cigar and let it roll. At that time my wife was having an affair and things were going down hill for me, so I needed a good diversion. But, as bad as the movie was...I totally enjoyed it, with a bottle of Merlot too, I might admit.

Truly, I have watched this movie many times. It always makes me feel good!! It's not that it 'tries too hard' to be cool or that 'It's so close' to hitting the mark for an action film....It's frantic. And then truly clueless. Then frantic again. It's the best of the best when it comes to a slow speed chase scene. Wow!! I never felt safer in my life. Warm and happy too. I was thankful that they conserved on the gasoline during the chase, due to less production in the summer months...anywho

The direction was 'uninspired' the action and fight sequences needed to be choreographed, or re-choreographed and tightened up, the sound was off the delivery didn't hit you, it just kept on going, the other way. The 'locals' of that village that they were in, the town rather, were 'Off cue' they also did not seem to follow what was happening very well, the would look and even 'stare' into the camera lens. Like a deer in the head lights kind of thing only some of them with a smile, a smiling deer.

I feel bad because 'Columbu' I just bet has a good heart and a caring spirit for people in America as well as for his own countrymen.

However "Baretta's Island" is very lethargic and unbelievable. Even still I like it a lot. My now x-wife hates it, but I love it!

The funny thing is, I am pretty discriminating when it comes to movies I like or even 'love'. All in all, I like Franco. So there it is.

As a movie adding addendum to this if you like killing a few hours with truly fun to watch, straight to video-B movies or 'bad' movies for your little library collection then, if you can find it, check out 'The Big Sweat' (1991) with Robert Z' Dar..you know the big guy from 'TANGO & CASH'. 'The Big Sweat', a bomb of a cop story with no real plot discovery and acting that is so lame, it might as well be 'on crutches' and at the end of 'The Big Sweat' I think they ran out of money, because they had a picture of the cast and just set it on fire and let it burn during the credits. -Good fun.

But all in all, not as good as Baretta's Island', I gave it a '1' and an overall rating of 'awful' for awful-good B' movie. I'm waiting for the sequel, maybe like 'Baretta's revenge on Montazuma' (Franco takes a Mexican vacation and gets sick on the water then, declares war on the water co.) or 'Baretta's powder war' where as he would stake out a large drug lord in his country and chemically gene-splice and create a hybrid super bug (insect) that would be bred and dropped into the cocaine fields and eat the coke and upon passing it through the bug, it forms a chemical reaction that turns the coke to pure powdered sugar. Then another sequel he would have to get the young people rescued from excessive sugar addiction and so on. He could get a major tooth paste company to endorse and partially fund the project with careful product placement in the feature. Right?(*)
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5/10
Come on! Come On! Do it! Do it! Do it!
sol-kay22 August 2009
Warning: Spoilers
**SPOILERS** Somewhat ridicules movie staring world champion muscle man Franco Columbu playing the part of recently retired Interpol Agent Franco Armando aka Code name "Beretta". Franco's quiet and easy life of pumping up with his good friend and fellow muscle man Arnold Schwarzenegger, at the local World Gym, riding his Harley and dancing on the grape, by making his own and favorite wines, quickly comes to a sudden and unexpected end at the start of the film Beretta's Island. That's when Franco's informed, through the Interpol grape-vine, that Columbian drug dealers are setting up shop in his hometown of Ollolia Sardinia.

Reinstated into Interpol and back in action Franco shoots down to Ollolai to put a stop to this threat to the people of Sardina who have never had a serious drug problem, like the US, before. The drug gang lead by the Nicolas Cage look-alike Johnny Carrea, Van Quattro, had already had a confrontation with Franco back in Las Vages where Interpol Agent, and Franco's partner, Tina, Audrey Brunner, was gunned down.

Franco having a new, and far more attractive and busty, woman Interpol Agent Linda, Elizabeth Kaitan, to help him track down and capture Johnny Carrea's drug gang has him, more then once in the film, more interested in making it with her then capturing them! As for Johnny he's so neurotic and mentally unbalanced that by the time the movie is over he ends up wiping, in suspecting them of double-crossing him, out his entire gang before Franco has a chance to do it himself! As for the big and expensive drug-some 20 kilos of cocaine-stash Johnny has he leaves it practically out in the open for Franco and his friend on the island Barone, Ken Kenchevai, to easily find and destroy with just one a stick of dynamite. Leaving the millions of dollars worth of coke in his drug laboratory apartment with the door unlocked and no one guarding it Johnny had about as much concern for his expensive cargo as he would have for the Staten Island Fresh Kill garbage dump!

Always finding an excuse to strip off his shirt to show off his bulging muscles Franco should have been an easy target for Johnny and his boys to put away. Yet with all the bullets directed at him the Carrea gang couldn't as much as nick Franco much less kill him. In fact the only time that Franco was actually hit,back in Las Vages, the bullet was stopped by Franco's concealed gun that he had strapped to his chest!

As you would expect Agent Beretta-Franco's Interpol code name-had no trouble whatsoever taking out Johhny and his gang of coked up, they use it as well as sell it, drug pushers. We also got to see in the movie Franco ride horses as well as sing besides flexing his enormous muscles which after a while, with him doing it like every five minutes in the film, got a bit monotonous to say the least. The big bonus in the movie was at the very end, with the ending credits, where we at last, after waiting all that time, got to see the sexy Linda strip off her top as she and Franco, who still kept his trunks on, were seen happily swimming in the sun drenched Mediterranean Sea! After suffering through an hour and a half of chases explosions and shoot-outs It's was well worth the wait!
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1/10
Big Throuble In The Little Island
othello-jiLOVEzi13 February 2007
Very funny to watch "Beretta's Island" as kind of natural trash-film.It is like answer to Jess Franko's type of b-movie.Bodybuilders strikes back (!face to face!) to pushers.The very very very stupid strike!Action: unbelievably bad directed firing(shooting) scenes look even better than hand-to-hand fighting.Chasing scenes ridiculous.Saving beauties scenes incredibly stupid.Erotic scenes are very unerotic.The main luck of film is pretty landscapes and festival scenes.Don't miss:Arnold Schwarzenegger's joke at start of film and list of Franco Columbu's kin at the end. Special attraction: naked bosom.Almoust forgot - Franco can sing!
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10/10
Franco Columbu rocks!
strogger15 June 2001
Francko Columbo (aka The Ripper) is a superb actor, who could forget him in the classic detective series when he wore that long dirty coat and drove around in a whacked out old car with his pet bloodhound. Anyway back to Beretta's Island, it is one of the best epic action Manganime films I have ever seen. I cannot find enough superlatives for this movie. Franco excels as the cop who will stop as nothing to capture the very young Paul Hogan (the evil drug dealer). Arnold's role is great and its cool to see him getting ripped with Franco!??? The drop kick sequence has to be seen to be believed, it was all, i believe, filmed in camera with no latex involved! Franco's prosthetic ageing make-up works wonders to give him a very convincing appearance. Franco trained hard for a year for this movie and it really paid off. The action scenes are the best i have seen since Spawn, specifically the bit where Spawn does a forward flip with 2 machine guns. The early use of CGI almost tops the innovation displayed in Nightmare on Elm Street 3. Lance Henrickson cameos as a street punk who gets whipped by Franco. Try and spot Dudley Moore in the apartment shoot-out scene. Bill Paxton also features as a villain who uses double Uzi's in the final underwater action sequence. Highly recommended.
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3/10
Beretta's Island
BandSAboutMovies28 July 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Franco Armando Beretta (Franco Columbu) is a retired Interpol officer who just so happens to train with Arnold Schwarzenegger, just like the real life Franco. The Sardinian Strongman had been in a few movies before - Stay Hungry, Conan the Barbarian, The Terminator, Big Top Pee-Wee - but now he was producing, writing and even directing a series of movies that includes Desperate Crimes, Taken Alive, Doublecross On Costas's Island and Ancient Warriors.

Franco takes his shirt off every time he gets the chance to and he lives Sardinia, showing off the beach, the festivals, the folk music and so much more. What more could you ask from a former prize fighter turned Interpol agent and now a wine maker? How about a message movie? Franco starts the movie off with this quote: "Sardinia is my homeland. This beautiful island has always been a refuge for me; untouched by the destructive effects of greed and drugs. Several years ago I was disheartened to find that drugs had infiltrated my precious Island, bringing with them winds of evil that have poisoned even the children of the land. This film is dedicated to the fight against drugs, and to those who have worked to stop the plague of drugs in every country. These are the true heroes of our time and I salute each one of them with gratitude and respect."
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9/10
Great Locations in Sardinia
Massimolazio1 March 2003
I like when certain low budget independent motion pictures are trying harder to make a point. "Beretta's Island" certainly is one of them. Franco Columbu (Mr. World, Mr. Universe and Mr. Olympia) produced this movie and stars as an interpol agent - code name Beretta - who is forced out of retirement to avenge the cold-blooded murder of a cop. The killer's trail leads to Franco's hometown on the beautiful island of Sardinia, west of the Italian coast line. Rarely used locations adding an amazing flavor to the action and increases the value of the story and cinematography. I heard that in some circles in the USA and around the world this is considered a cult movie.
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