Mystery, Alaska (1999)
Ron Eldard: 'Skank' Marden
Janice Pettiboe : It's a Rockwellian Christmas up here. Skating. Barbecues. Snow. We're here with defenseman Matt Marden, and... cut!
Charles Danner : What?
Janice Pettiboe : I can't feel my fingers.
'Skank' Marden : You need to rub 'em on a nice, warm Yuletide log.
Janice Pettiboe : I beg your pardon?
'Skank' Marden : Look, Christmas is a lonely day for a guy to be chokin' his own chicken. And as women reporters go, I find you supple.
Janice Pettiboe : Oh, that was lovely. It's a shame we weren't rolling for that.
Charles Danner : I'm sure he'd be happy to repeat it.
'Skank' Marden : [laughing] You need to relax!
Janice Pettiboe : Charles!
'Skank' Marden : Do you like massages?
[Skank leans over, bursting into laughter again]
'Skank' Marden : I play hockey and I fornicate, 'cause those are the two most fun things to do in cold weather.