- [watching Dr. Gonzo leave]
- Raoul Duke: There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
- Raoul Duke: A drug person can learn to cope with things like seeing their dead grandmother crawling up their leg with a knife in her teeth. But no one should be asked to handle this trip.
- Raoul Duke: We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.
- Raoul Duke: We are all wired into a survival trip now. No more of the speed that fueled that 60's. That was the fatal flaw in Tim Leary's trip. He crashed around America selling "consciousness expansion" without ever giving a thought to the grim meat-hook realities that were lying in wait for all the people who took him seriously... All those pathetically eager acid freaks who thought they could buy Peace and Understanding for three bucks a hit. But their loss and failure is ours too. What Leary took down with him was the central illusion of a whole life-style that he helped create... a generation of permanent cripples, failed seekers, who never understood the essential old-mystic fallacy of the Acid Culture: the desperate assumption that somebody... or at least some force - is tending the light at the end of the tunnel.
- Raoul Duke: There's a uh, big machine in the sky, some kind of, I dunno, electric snake, coming straight at us.
- Dr. Gonzo: Shoot it.
- Raoul Duke: Not yet, I want to study its habits.
- [first lines]
- Raoul Duke: [narrating] We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like:
- Raoul Duke: I feel a bit lightheaded. Maybe you should drive.
- Raoul Duke: [narrating] Suddenly, there was a terrible roar all around us, and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, and a voice was screaming:
- Raoul Duke: Holy Jesus. What are these goddamn animals?
- [swatting the air]
- Raoul Duke: Huh! Huh! Huh! Fucking pigs.
- Dr. Gonzo: Did you say something?
- Raoul Duke: Hm? Never mind. It's your turn to drive.
- Raoul Duke: [narrating] No point in mentioning these bats, I thought. Poor bastard will see them soon enough.
- Raoul Duke: And that, I think, was the handle - that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of old and evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn't need that. Our energy would simply prevail. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look west, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark - that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back.
- Raoul Duke: The possibility of physical and mental collapse is now very real. No sympathy for the Devil, keep that in mind. Buy the ticket, take the ride.
- Raoul Duke: Look, there's two women fucking a polar bear!
- Dr. Gonzo: Don't tell me these things. Not now man.
- Dr. Gonzo: As your attorney, I advise you to take a hit out of the little brown bottle in my shaving kit. You won't need much, just a tiny taste.
- Raoul Duke: Order us some golf shoes, otherwise we'll never get out of this place alive. Impossible to walk in this muck. No footing at all.
- Raoul Duke: How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?
- Clerk at Flamingo Hotel: Can I call you a cab?
- Police Chief: [screaming] Sure, and I'll call you a cocksucker!
- Raoul Duke: Well? What are your plans?
- Dr. Gonzo: Plans?
- Raoul Duke: The child in the bedroom.
- Dr. Gonzo: Oh, Lucy. I met her on the plane. Yeah, she's a religious freak. I gave her a cap before I realized... Jesus, she's never even had a drink before.
- Raoul Duke: Well... it'll probably work out. We can keep her loaded and peddle her ass at the drug convention. Yeah. She's perfect for this gig. These cops will go fifty bucks a head to beat her into submission and then gang-fuck her. We can set her up in one of these back street motels, hang pictures of Jesus all over the room, then turn these fucking pigs loose on her. Hell, she's strong, man. She'll hold her own.
- Dr. Gonzo: Jesus Christ. I knew you were sick but I never expected to hear you actually say that kind of stuff, you filthy bastard.
- Raoul Duke: Straight economics, man. This girl is a godsend. Shit, she can make us a grand a day.
- Dr. Gonzo: That's ugly, man. Stop talking like that.
- Raoul Duke: I figure she can do about four at a time. If we keep her full of acid that's more like two grand a day. Maybe three.
- Dr. Gonzo: Hold on, man. What if I just jump you and beat the dog shit out of you? Would that make you feel better? You filthy bastard.
- Raoul Duke: All right, listen to me. In a few hours, she'll probably be sane enough to work herself into some kind of towering Jesus-based rage at the hazy recollection of being seduced by some kind of cruel Samoan who fed her liquor and LSD, dragged her to a Vegas hotel room and then savagely penetrated every orifice in her little body with his throbbing, uncircumcised member.
- Dr. Gonzo: That's so ugly, man!
- Raoul Duke: Fuck. Truth hurts.
- Dr. Gonzo: That's... argh! Argh! That's argh! Argh! That's argh!
- Raoul Duke: Argh!
- Dr. Gonzo: I wanted to help her, man.
- Raoul Duke: Well, you'll go straight to the gas chamber for this one. And even if you manage to beat that, they'll still send you back to Nevada for rape and consensual sodomy. She's got to go.
- Dr. Gonzo: Shit. It doesn't pay to try to help someone these days.
- Raoul Duke: [Beginning to narrate the "Jefferson Airplane" hallucination] There I was...
- [Seeing the actual Hunter S. Thompson sitting in the scene]
- Raoul Duke: Mother of God, there I am! Holy fuck...
- Raoul Duke: With a bit of luck, his life was ruined forever. Always thinking that just behind some narrow door in all of his favorite bars, men in red woolen shirts are getting incredible kicks from things he'll never know.
- Raoul Duke: I was right in the middle of a fucking reptile zoo, and somebody was giving booze to these goddamn things. Won't be long now before they tear us to shreds.
- Raoul Duke: I'm a relatively respectable citizen. Multiple felon perhaps, but certainly not dangerous.
- Raoul Duke: Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. A normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow. But he won't know what to make of your blinker signal that says you are about to turn right. This is to let him know you're pulling off for a proper place to talk. It will take him a moment to realize that he's about to make a 180 degree turn at speed, but you will be ready for it. Brace for the g's, and fast heel-toe work.
- Dr. Gonzo: [spills the cocaine] Jesus! You see what God just did to us, man?
- Raoul Duke: God didn't do that, you did it. You're a fucking narcotics agent, I knew it! That was our cocaine, you fucking pig swine whore...
- Dr. Gonzo: You'd better be careful. There's plenty of vultures out here, they'll pick your bones clean before morning.
- Raoul Duke: You fucking whore.
- Dr. Gonzo: Heh heh heh.
- Raoul Duke: One of the things you learn from years of dealing with drug people, is that you can turn your back on a person, but never turn your back on a drug. Especially when it's waving a razor-sharp hunting knife in your eye.
- [at a bizarre circus-themed casino]
- Raoul Duke: Bazooko's Circus is what the whole hep world would be doing Saturday nights if the Nazis had won the war. This was the Sixth Reich.
- Raoul Duke: [Narrating] Ah, devil ether. It makes you behave like the village drunkard in some early Irish novel. Total loss of all basic motor skills. Blurred vision, no balance, numb tongue. The mind recoils in horror, unable to communicate with the spinal column. Which is interesting because you can actually watch yourself behaving in this terrible way, but you can't control it. You approach the turnstiles and know that when you get there, you have to give the man two dollars or he won't let you inside. But when you get there, everything goes wrong. Some angry rotarian shoves you and you think "What's happening here? What's going on?" And you hear yourself mumbling...
- Raoul Duke: Dogs fucked the Pope... no fault of mine.
- Raoul Duke: [Narrating] Ether is the perfect drug for Las Vegas. In this town they love a drunk. Fresh meat. So they put us through the turnstiles and turned us loose inside.
- Raoul Duke: I want you to understand that this man at the wheel is my attorney. He's not just some dingbat I found on the strip, man. He's a foreigner. I think he's probably Samoan. But that doesn't matter, though, does it? Are you prejudiced?
- Hitchhiker: Hell no.
- Raoul Duke: I didn't think so. Because in spite of his race, this man is extremely valuable to me. Oh, shit. I forgot about the beer. You want one?
- Hitchhiker: No.
- Raoul Duke: How 'bout some ether?
- Hitchhiker: What?
- Raoul Duke: Never mind. Let's get right to the heart of this thing. Twenty-four hours ago we were sitting in the Pogo Lounge of the Beverly Heights Hotel, in the patio section of course, drinking Singapore Slings with mescal on the side, hiding from the brutish realities of this foul year of Our Lord, nineteen-hundred and seventy one...
- Raoul Duke: I wouldn't dare go to sleep with you wandering around with a head full of acid, wanting to slice me up with that goddamn knife.
- Dr. Gonzo: Who said anything about slicing you up, man? I just wanted to carve a little Z on your forehead.
- Raoul Duke: When I came to, the general back-alley ambience of the suite was so rotten, so incredibly foul. How long had I been lying there? All these signs of violence. What had happened? There was evidence in this room of excessive consumption of almost every type of drug known to civilized man since 1544 AD. What kind of addict would need all these coconut husks and crushed honeydew rinds? Would the presence of junkies account for all these uneaten french fries? These puddles of glazed ketchup on the bureau? Maybe so. But then why all this booze? And these crude pornographic photos smeared with mustard that had dried to a hard yellow crust? These were not the hoofprints of your average God-fearing junky. It was too savage. Too aggressive.
- Raoul Duke: There was madness in any direction, at any hour. You could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning.
- Raoul Duke: Strange memories on this nervous night in Las Vegas. Has it been five years? Six? It seems like a lifetime, the kind of peak that never comes again. San Francisco in the middle sixties was a very special time and place to be a part of. But no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time in the world. Whatever it meant.
- Raoul Duke: Of course, I could hear what the clerk was really saying.
- Clerk at Flamingo Hotel: Listen, you fuzzy little shithead! I've been fucked around in my time by a fairly good cross-section of mean-tempered, rule-crazy cops, and now it's my turn. So fuck you, Officer. I'm in charge.
- Dr. Gonzo: Sounds like big trouble. You're going to need plenty of legal advice before this thing is over. As your attorney, I advise you to rent a very fast car with no top. And you'll need the cocaine. Tape recorder for special music. Acapulco shirts. Get the hell out of L.A. for at least 48 hours. Blows my weekend.
- Raoul Duke: Why?
- Dr. Gonzo: Because naturally I'm going to have to go with you. And we're going to have to arm ourselves... to the teeth!
- Raoul Duke: Well why not? Shit if it's worth doing, it's worth doing right! This is the American Dream in action. We'd be fools not to ride this strange torpedo all the way to the end!
- Parking Attendant: You can't park your car here.
- Raoul Duke: Why not? Is this not a reasonable place to park?
- Parking Attendant: Reasonable? You're on a sidewalk! This is the sidewalk!
- Musician: Whaaats the trooouble?
- Raoul Duke: Weeeellll, all this white stuff on my sleeeeve, iiiis LSD...
- Dr. Gonzo: When it comes to that fantastic note where the... rabbit bites its own head off, I want you to - throw - that - fuckin - radio - into the tub - with me.
- Raoul Duke: Fuck, man. You've gone completely sideways! That'll blast you right through the wall. You'll be stone dead in ten seconds. Fuck, they'll make me explain things. Shit.
- Dr. Gonzo: [reaching for his knife] Bullshit!
- Raoul Duke: [wielding a shower curtain pole] Don't fuck with me now, man. I am Ahab.
- [Gonzo rises out of the tub with his knife]
- Raoul Duke: Alright, you weird fucker! Sit down! Back in the tub! Back in the tub! I'll plunge this into your fucking throat, man.
- Dr. Gonzo: Don't make me use this, man.
- Raoul Duke: Alright, man. It's probably the only solution. Let me make sure I've got this all lined up. You want me to, uh, throw this into the tub when the white rabbit peaks? Is that it?
- Dr. Gonzo: Ugh, I was beginning to think I was gonna have to go outside and get one of the goddamn maids to do it.
- Raoul Duke: No, man. I'll do it. Shit, what are friends for?
- Raoul Duke: [now playing white rabbit] Are you ready? Close your eyes. Yeah... good boy.
- Dr. Gonzo: [suddenly flailing around] White rabbit! White rabbit!
- Raoul Duke: Why, goddammit? You're wasting my time!
- Dr. Gonzo: Higher, man! Higher! Ugh! Higher!
- [Duke turns up the volume]
- Raoul Duke: Okay, close those peepers. Ten...
- Dr. Gonzo: Waughhhhh!
- Raoul Duke: Nine! Hundred-and-eleven! Fifty-two! Three!
- [Duke throws a grapefruit and Gonzo's head and runs out of the bathroom]
- Dr. Gonzo: [offscreen] UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
- Raoul Duke: [commenting on the song "One Toke Over the Line" playing on the radio] One toke? You poor fool! Wait till you see those goddamn bats.
- Dr. Gonzo: Hey honkies. You folks wanna buy some heroin? Goddamnit, I'm serious. All I'm trying to sell you is some pure fucking smack! This is the real stuff! You won't get hooked. I just got back from Vietnam. Ahahaha... scag! Pbbbbbbb... I wanna sell you some pure fucking smack... pure... fuck...
- Man in Car: Goddammit you bastards! Pull over! I'll kill you I'll kill you! Pull over, come on!
- Dr. Gonzo: Cows are gonna kill me. Bisexuals are gonna kill me. Let's get out of here. Where's the elevator?
- Raoul Duke: No! Fuck! Don't go near the elevator, man, that's just what they want us to do. Trap us in a steel box, take us down to the basement. Come here. Don't run, man. They'd like any excuse to shoot us.
- Wine Colored Tuxedo: I said there are no seats left sir, at any price.
- Dr. Gonzo: Fuck seats! We're friends of Debbie's. I used to romp with her.
- Raoul Duke: [narrating] Ignore this terrible drug. Yeah. Pretend it's not happening.
- Raoul Duke: Yeah. HI THERE! My name... is, uh, Raoul Duke. I'm on the list. Free lunch, final wisdom, total coverage. I have my attorneyyyyyyy... with me, and I realize that his name is not on that list, but we must have that suite! Yes, must have that suite. What's the score here? What's next?
- Desk Clerk at Mint Hotel: Your suite isn't ready yet. But someone was looking for you...
- Raoul Duke: [seeing her morph into an eel] DAH! No! We haven't done anything yet!
- Clerk at Mint Hotel: Mr. Duke! Mr. Duke!
- Raoul Duke: Oh fuck.
- Clerk at Mint Hotel: We've been looking for you.
- Raoul Duke: [Narrating] The game was up. They had me.
- Raoul Duke: Many fine books have been written in prison.
- Clerk at Mint Hotel: Sir?