Boogie Nights (1997)
Quotes
Dirk: Look, man, all we need is the tapes, all right?
Record Producer: No, you don't get the tapes until you've paid.
Dirk: In our situation, that doesn't make any fucking sense.
Reed Rothchild: Look, we can not pay for the tapes, unless we take the tapes to the record company, and get paid.
Dirk: Hello? Exactly.
Record Producer: That's not an MP, that's a YP, your problem. Come up with the money, or forget it.
Reed Rothchild: Okay, now you're talking above my head. I don't know all of this industry jargon, YP, MP. All I know is that I can't get a record contract, we cannot get a record contract unless we take those tapes to the record company. And granted, the tapes themselves are a uh um oh, you own them, all right, but the magic that is on those tapes. That fucking heart and soul that we put onto those tapes, that is ours and you don't own that. Now I need to take that magic and get it over the record company. And they're waiting for us, we were supposed to be there a half hour ago. We look like assholes, man.
Dirk: Let me explain to him in simple arithmetic. One, two three! Because you don't fuckin' get it, Burt! You give us the tapes. We get the record contract. We come back and give you your fuckin' money. Have you heard the tapes? Have you even heard them? We're guaranteed a record deal. Our stuff is that good!
Record Producer: Now I get it. Now I understand. You want it to happen... but it's not going to happen. Because it's a Catch-22.
Dirk: What the fuck does that mean? What is a Catch-22, Burt?
Record Producer: Catch-22, gentleman. Think about it.
[pause]
Dirk: You know what I'm thinking about, man? I'm thinking about kicking some fuckin' ass!
[in a scene from "Brock Landers: Angels Live In My Town"]
Dirk: [as Brock] You still hungry?
Jessie St. Vincent: Starving.
[unzipping his pants]
Dirk: [as Brock] Then feast on that.
Dirk: What can you expect when you're on top? You know? It's like Napoleon. When he was the king, you know, people were just constantly trying to conquer him, you know, in the Roman Empire. So, it's history repeating itself all over again.
[Both women are high on coke]
Rollergirl: Amber, are you my mom? I'm gonna ask you, okay? And you say yes, okay? Amber, are you my mom?
Amber Waves: Yes, sweetie.
Floyd Gondolli: I'm not a complicated man. I like cinema. In particular, I like to see people fucking on film. But, I don't want to win an Oscar and I don't want to re-invent the wheel. I like simple pleasures, like butter in my ass and lollipops in my mouth. That's just me. That's just something that I enjoy. Call me crazy, call me a pervert. But, there's one little thing that I'mg going to do in this life and that is I'm going to make a dollar and a cent in this business.
Dirk: You're not the boss of me, Jack. You're not the king of Dirk. I'm the boss of me. I'm the king of me. I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big dick and I say when we roll.
Amber Waves: [filming Dirk's first love scene] Let me just check on something.
[takes off Dirk's pants]
Amber Waves: This is a giant cock.
Reed Rothchild: Want to hear a poem I wrote? "I love you, you love me. Going down the sugar tree. We'll go down the sugar tree, and see lots of bees: playing, playing. But the bees won't sting, because you love me." That's it.
Dirk: That's fuckin' great man! Did you write that?
Reed Rothchild: Yeah. I write songs too.
Kurt Longjohn: Little Bill.
Little Bill: Hey. Kurt. What's up?
Kurt Longjohn: What's wrong with you?
Little Bill: Ah... my fuckin' wife, man, she's over there... she's got some idiot's dick in her, people standing around watching - it's a fuckin' embarassment.
Kurt Longjohn: Yeah. Yeah. I know. Anyway, listen...
Little Bill: Yeah?
Kurt Longjohn: For the shoot - I wanna talk about the look. I wanted to see about getting this new zoom lens...
Little Bill: Right.
Kurt Longjohn: I wondered if we'd be able to look into getting some more lights, too, y'know...
Little Bill: Jack wants a minimal thing...
Kurt Longjohn: Right, well, very often, minimal means a lot more photographically than I think, well... than I think most people understand...
Little Bill: I understand.
Kurt Longjohn: No, no. Hey. I know you understand, I was talking about some other people.
Little Bill: Well, I think what Jack is talking about is minimal, not really "natural", but minimal...
Kurt Longjohn: Okay... fine... I was just saying...
Little Bill: I understand...
Kurt Longjohn: 'Cause I'm trying to give each picture it's own look...
Little Bill: Can we talk about this later?
Kurt Longjohn: Oh, yeah... you have to go somewhere... or...?
Little Bill: Well, no, yeah... I mean...
Kurt Longjohn: 'Cause I was hoping to, y'know, for the shoot tomorrow, we could send Rocky down and he could pick it up...
Little Bill: Kurt.
Kurt Longjohn: No. Hey. Gotcha. You've gotta go somewhere so - hey - what the fuck? It's only the fucking photography of the movie we're talking about.
Little Bill: My fucking wife has an ass in her cock over in the driveway, alright? I'm sorry if my thoughts aren't with the photography of the film we're shooting tomorrow, Kurt, OK?
Kurt Longjohn: OK. No big deal. Sorry.
Buck Swope: You see this - this is Hi-Fi. Okay? High Fidelity. You know what that means? That means this is the highest quality fidelity. Hi-Fi. Those are two very important things to have in a stereo system.
Eddie Adams: I was thinkin' about what the Colonel was sayin' about my name.
Jack Horner: Uh-huh.
Eddie Adams: I was just wonderin' if you had any ideas.
Jack Horner: I had some thoughts on it, yeah. What about you? What do you think?
Eddie Adams: Well, my idea was, y'know, I just want a name, I want it so it could cut glass, y'know, like razor sharp.
Jack Horner: Razor sharp, right.
Eddie Adams: Yeah. Well, when I close my eyes, I see this thing. It's like this big sign. And the name is in like bright blue neon lights with like purple outline. And this name is just so bright and so sharp that the sign - it just blows up because the name is so just. powerful. - - It says: "Dirk Diggler."
Jack Horner: I think - I think heaven has sent you here - Dirk Diggler. I think the angels have blessed us all because of you.
[Little Bill discovers his wife having sex for a group of spectators]
Little Bill: What the fuck are you doing?
Little Bill's wife: Go away, Bill, you're embarrassing me.
Jack Horner: Do these characters have a name?
Dirk: The guy's name is Brock Landers.
Reed Rothchild: And his partner is Chest Rockwell.
Jack Horner: Those are some great names.
Young Stud: [sobbing] This is TWICE in two days that a chick has OD'd on me!
Colonel James: [rapidly] Well, do you think this means that maybe ya oughta think about getting some new shit? Whaddya ya think?
Young Stud: [contritely] Yes, sir.
Colonel James: Ah.
Jack Horner: Where are you going?
Becky Barnett: I gotta go wash my vagina.
Jack Horner: How long will you be?
Becky Barnett: Two seconds. You want it clean, don't you?
[Little Bill walks in on his wife having sex with someone]
Little Bill: What the fuck are you doing?
Little Bill's wife: What the fuck does it look like I'm doing?
Dirk: Are you gonna take your skates off?
Rollergirl: I don't take my skates off. And don't fuckin' come in me.
Dirk: Okay.
Jack Horner: Aim it at her tits.
Jack Horner: We're about to make film history, right here... on videotape.
Dirk: I wanna fuck. It's my fucking big dick. Who wants to fuck?
Colonel James: I'm looking forward to seeing you in action. Jack says you've got a great big cock.
Eddie Adams: Well, I don't know, I guess so.
Colonel James: May I see it?
Eddie Adams: Really?
Colonel James: Please!
[stares as Eddie lowers his shorts]
Colonel James: Thank you, Eddie!
Eddie Adams: No problem.
[the Colonel continue to stare as Eddie walks away]
Todd Parker: We're not leaving yet. We're here now, and we want something else from you. Hey... hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey! We want something else from you.
Rahad Jackson: ...What?
Dirk: Todd, what the hell are you doing man? Let's just go.
Todd Parker: In the master bedroom... under the bed... in a floor safe. Understand?
Dirk: What the fuck is the matter with you Todd, let's go! Come on, man!
Reed Rothchild: Todd!
Todd Parker: Shut up, Dirk. I t... I told you I got a plan. I got a very good plan.
Rahad Jackson: Are you-are you kidding me, kitty?
Todd Parker: Nah, I'm not, see? I'm not kidding. I want what's in the safe! We want what is in the goddamn safe, in the goddamn master bedroom on the fuckin' floor in the goddamn fuckin' floor safe, that's all!
Dirk: Todd, don't be crazy, ok?
[to Rahad]
Dirk: Sir, we don't know anything about this, okay? This is not at all what we wanted.
Todd Parker: Shut the fuck up, Dirk.
[to Rahad's bodyguard]
Todd Parker: Do not reach for your gun, man, don't reach for your gun!
[Todd pulls out gun and aims it at bodyguard, Rahad shoots Todd in the shoulder, before fleeing to his bedroom, laughing maniacally; Dirk and Reed take cover as the bodyguard pulls out two pistols and starts firing at them, Todd then shoots the bodyguard]
Todd Parker: He went in the bedroom!
Dirk: Todd, what the fuck are you doin'?
Todd Parker: He went in the bedroom!
Dirk: Todd, what the fuck? Did you go crazy?
Todd Parker: He's got coke and he's got cash in that safe, in that bedroom and if we leave here without it, man we're fuckin' idiots, man! We came here to motherfuckin' do something and we can fucking do it, alright? Are you with me?
Reed Rothchild: Todd, listen to me! Let's just split, man! Let's just split, right? This was not the thing! This was not supposed to be the thing, Todd!
Todd Parker: That's what we goddamn came here to motherfuckin' do, and that's what I'm gonna fuckin' do right fuckin' now!
Dirk: Fuck, no! Don't, don't! Don't be fucking stupid!
Rahad Jackson: [Todd kicks down the door and is shot in the chest with a shotgun by Rahad] Come on, you puppies!
[Rahad racks his shotgun and fires at Dirk and Reed]
Rahad Jackson: It's comin' down for puppies!
Reed Rothchild: Hey, did you ever see that movie: Star Wars?
Dirk: Oh, about four times.
Reed Rothchild: People tell me I look like Han Solo.
Dirk: Really?
Floyd Gondolli: The Colonel's got the money. You've got the talent, Jack. I've got the connection to the equipment and the mail order distribution, not to mention those kids out-there, who are hot-fuck-action to the max, Jack. This here's the future. Videotape tells the truth.
Jack Horner: Wait a minute. You come into my house, my party, to tell me about the future? That the future is tape, videotape, and not film? And it's amateurs and not professionals? I'm a filmmaker, that's why I will *never* make a movie on videotape.
Amber Waves: [having sex, filming a porno] Oh, John. You're a wonderful actor.
Dirk: It's okay to come?
Amber Waves: Are you ready to come?
Dirk: Yeah.
Amber Waves: Come in me.
Dirk: What?
Amber Waves: I'm fixed. I want you to come in me.
Dirk: Okay.
[moans and climaxes]
Rollergirl: You don't ever disrespect me. FUCKER! YOU NEVER DISRESPECT ME, YOU FUCKER!
[the Colonel's lady friend is lying on the floor, bleeding from the nose]
Young Stud: [wailing] I-I think she did too much coke.
Colonel James: Oh, you think so, doctor?
[Rollergirl scratches her crotch]
Amber Waves: What's the matter down there?
Rollergirl: I gotta go pee.
Amber Waves: Well, go then.
Buck Swope: You're not being fair. This isn't fair.
Loan Officer: This financial institution cannot endorse pornography.
Buck Swope: Stop saying pornography! Why are you doing this to me? I am an actor. I am an actor.
Jack Horner: Don't just ram it in there like that, this is not a hole in the wall pal, it's Rollergirl.
Eddie Adams: [to his mother] You don't know what I can do! You don't know what I can do, what I'm gonna do, or what I'm gonna be! I'm good! I have good things and you don't know about! I'm gonna be something! I am! And don't fucking tell me I'm not!
Reed Rothchild: [shoe shopping] Yeah, those are really cool. Are they lizard?
Dirk: No, they're Italian. I'm gonna fuckin' buy these.
Amber Waves: [screams] Oh, I don't want to do this any more. Honey, I can't. Let's just? Let's have fun now! Let's just go and go and go, because it's over. There's just too many things, too many things, too many things. Too many things.
Rollergirl: Okay.
Amber Waves: Let's go walk.
[sniffs]
Rollergirl: I don't want to leave this room.
Amber Waves: [laughs] Me, either! I love you, honey!
Rollergirl: I love you, Mom!
Rahad Jackson: Oh, that's Cosmo... he's Chinese.
Jack Horner: You know this is the film I want them to remember me by.
Little Bill: [while shooting a scene, Dirk ejaculated inside Amber] We missed the cum shot. He came inside her. Maybe we could go to stock footage, or...
Jack Horner: Are you crazy? It won't match!
Dirk: Jack? I can do it again if you need a closeup.
[the Colonel James is in jail after being arrested for cocaine possession and attempted statutory rape]
Colonel James: They found something else.
Jack Horner: What?
Colonel James: Well... it's just... they're so cute when they're so young like that...
Jack Horner: Ah, Jesus...
[last lines]
Dirk: [practicing his lines in the mirror] I've been around this block twice now. Looking for something. A clue. I've been looking for clues and something led me back here. Yeah. So here I am. It could have been me, the one who was at Ringo's place when the shit went down. Hey. I know how it is. I've been there. We've all done bad things. We've all had those guilty feelings in our heart. I'm going to take your brain out of your head and wash it and scrub it and make it clean. I don't know. But I'm going to have to settle this. First we're going to check the hole and see what we can find. We're going to get nice and wet, and you're going to spread your legs. Oh, that's good. So you know me. You know my reputation. Thirteen inches of tough load, I don't treat you gently. That's right. I'm Brock Landers. So I'm going to be nice. So I'm going to be nice. So I'm going to be nice, I'm going to ask you one more time. Where the fuck is Ringo?
Dirk: [he stands, unzips his pants and pulls out his penis] I am a star. I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star. I am a big, bright, shining star. That's right.
[he rezips his pants]
Scotty: I'm a fuggin' idiot. I'm a fuggin' idiot. Fuggin' idiot, fuggin' idiot, fuggin' idiot...
Reed Rothchild: [as Chest Rockwell] Let's get some of that Saturday night beaver.
Jack Horner: Before you turn around, you've spent maybe 20, 25, 30 thousand dollars on a movie.
Rollergirl: That shirt's pretty sexy too.
Dirk: Well, yeah, this is like - um - imported Italian nylon. And its like a special edition, limited silk print. And it was done by this really famous - um - design artist, from Italy.
Reed Rothchild: TODD... PARKER!
Todd Parker: Rockin' Reed Rothchild!
Reed Rothchild: You made it! Woo-Hoo!
Todd Parker: Amazing party, man! Fuckin' chicks everywhere!
Reed Rothchild: You bet. Compliments of Jack Horner. Thank you.
Todd Parker: I wouldn't mind me having a piece of that action right over there.
Reed Rothchild: Michelle... I'll introduce you.
Todd Parker: Sure, introduce her to my lap!
Reed Rothchild: Ha ha. You just get off of work, man?
Todd Parker: Don't dance Sunday nights.
Reed Rothchild: Right.
Todd Parker: Who's 'vette is that out in the driveway?
Reed Rothchild: DIRK! I'm so jealous.
Todd Parker: That shit's jammin', man.
Todd Parker: Start down low with a 350 cube, three and a quarter horsepower, 4-speed, 4:10 gears, ten coats of competition orange, hand-rubbed lacquer with a huplane manifold,
Todd Parker: Full fuckin' race cams. Whoo!
Becky Barnett: It sounds like your bosses at the stereo store are saying the same thing.
Buck Swope: What?
Becky Barnett: YOU HAVE TO GET A NEW LOOK!
Buck Swope: What? You get a new look.
Becky Barnett: I have a look alright. The look I have is just fine.
Buck Swope: What's your look?
Becky Barnett: Chocolate love 100%. You don't have to lash out like that Buck, I'm just trying to be your friend.
Buck Swope: Drop it Becky.
Reed Rothchild: Nobody fucks with Chest and Brock!
Jack Horner: I got a feeling that behind those jeans is something wonderful just waiting to get out.
[just before they start filming Dirk's first movie]
Dirk: Does he want me to keep going until I cum?
Amber Waves: Yeah. You just cum when you're ready.
Dirk: Where should I do it?
Amber Waves: Where do you want?
Dirk: Wherever you tell me.
Amber Waves: Well, cum on my tits, if you can, okay? Just pull it out and do it on my stomach and my tits, if you can.
Dirk: [standing in the kitchen at work with Jack] So, you want five or ten?
Jack Horner: What?
Dirk: Well, if you just wanna see me jack off, it's ten. But if you just wanna look at it, it's only five.
Buck Swope: [to his pregnant wife] How's my little kung fu fighter?
Jessie St. Vincent: He's kicking ass inside my stomach.
[his one word prediction for the future of the porn industry]
Floyd Gondolli: Videotape.
Rahad Jackson: You want somethin' to drink? A little pill, a little coke, a little dope? I got everything!
Jack Horner: I don't wanna make a film where they show up, they sit down and jack off, and they get up and they get out before the story ends. It is my dream, it is my goal, it is my idea, to make a film that the story just sucks them in and when they spurt out that joy juice, they just gotta sit in it. They can't move until they find out how the story ends. You know, I wanna make a film like that.
Joe: [as Dirk is in his truck and trying to rub his penis to get an erection] Come on!
Dirk: [Dirk stops] I can't! I can't get it hard, right? I can't. I'm sorry!
[another truck suddenly pulls up with a group of guys]
Joe: You just shouldn't do this sort of thing, you faggot!
[punches Dirk]
Dirk: I know fucking karate.
Rollergirl: [to Amber in a documentary about Dirk] He can fuck really hard or he can fuck really gently. He's the best.
Jack Horner: If it looks like shit and it sounds like shit than it must be shit!
Dirk: You know, I'm gonna be a great big bright, shining star.
Little Bill's wife: Don't stop, Big Stud!
Dirk: I'm ready to shoot RIGHT NOW.
Jack Horner: I don't want it loud, I want it mellow. Mellow!
Reed Rothchild: I have other interests. I'm a magician.
Jack Horner: He's my 17-year-old piece of gold.
[Reed and Buck discuss a magic trick in a loud and crowded night club]
Buck Swope: Doesn't it scare you dealing with all those evil forces?
Reed Rothchild: Evil horses?
Buck Swope: Evil forces.
Reed Rothchild: Evil? No man, it's not evil. It's an illusion.
Buck Swope: Yeah, yeah, it's confusing.
[Reed looks confused and smiles]
Reed Rothchild: Thank you.
Maurice: I'm the ultimate Latin Lover. There ain't no Latin Lover like me.
Dirk: Blocking an idea or a movement, you know. Jack will put the final touches together for what the camera needs for editing and stuff, but, um, you know, he allows me to block my own sex scenes, and, you know, give me the freedom to develop the character and stuff like that. God, I don't know any other, you know, director who would let an actor, you know, do that. You know?
Jack Horner: I don't allow him to block his own sex scenes.
Jack Horner: Good night, Honey-Tits. Sleep beautiful.
Buck Swope: So basically, you're gettin' twice the bass, with the TK421 of which we got available in this system right here.
Stereo Customer: I don't know. I don't really know if I need all that bass.
Buck Swope: Oh, I think you need all that bass.
Jack Horner: So, now you know I'm not full of - doggie do do.
Buck's Manager: You put on that country and western shit and no ones going to buy a stereo. What kind of a brother are you anyway, huh? Listening to that shit.
Buck Swope: All right, look Jerry...
Buck's Manager: No, no, no, no. You look. I gave you a job here because, you know, I thought your acting stuff might bring some nice pussy into the place. And it has. But, I can't have any more fuck ups. You dig?
Buck Swope: Still a little uncertain, aren't you? Yeah. You know what you need? You need a test drive. That's what you need. You need a test drive. I mean, it's one thing to hear it from Buck's mouth, it's another thing to hear it from the TX421. So, lemme just pop in this eight track and you just give a listen and tell me what you think. Okay? Whoa! You hear that? You hear the bass? Right? You hear it? It kicks. It - it - it turns. It curls up your belly. It makes you wanna freaky-deaky, right?
Dirk: Hey, I want you to know, I plan on being a star. A big, bright shining star. That's what I want. That's what I'm gonna get.
Jack Horner: You can work out in the morning. You can work out at noon. You can work out at night. It doesn't matter, if you don't have those juices flowing down there in Mr. Torpedo area - in the fun zone.
Jack Horner: It takes a lot of the good 'ol American green stuff to make one of these things. You know what I mean? I mean, you know, you got your camera, you got your film, you got your lights, you got your sound, you got your lab costs, you got your developing, you got your synching, you got your editing, before you turn around, you spend around twenty - twenty-five - thirty thousand dollars on a movie.
Dirk: That's a lot of money.
Jack Horner: You bet your ass it is. But, if you make a good one, there's practically no end to how much money you can make.
Sheryl Lynn: Your cock is so beautiful.
Dirk: Yeah?
Sheryl Lynn: Do you know how good you are, Eddie? Having sex? Fucking me? Making love to me?
Dirk: Everyone has one thing, you think? I mean, everyone's given one special thing, right?
Sheryl Lynn: That's right.
Dirk: Everyone's blessed with one special thing.
Little Bill: The set up is - okay, here we go. One, Amber talking to Becky. They make a telephone call to the agents to send over some actors. Two. Enter Reed to audition for Amber. They go at it, Becky watches. Three. Becky goes to the bathroom to jack off, she gets interrupted by Amber, they go at it. Four. Who's Dirk - Dirk Diggler?
Jack Horner: Yeah, that's that new good-lookin' kid - Eddie at the club.
Little Bill: Good name. Anyway, enter Dirk, he meets Becky, they go at it.
Jack Horner: No, change that, will you. I want Eddie to be auditioning for Amber.
Little Bill: Got it.
Reed Rothchild: You fuck like a champ! You rock!
Dirk: Is everything cool?
Little Bill: It's going great. We just got to change the angle.
Dirk: Does it - look sexy?
Little Bill: Oh, it's great!
Amber Waves: You're doing so good Dirk.
Dirk: Does it feel good?
Amber Waves: [filming love scene] You're amazing.
Dirk: You feel so good, Amber.
Amber Waves: Are you ready to cum?
Dirk: Yeah.
Amber Waves: Cum in me.
Dirk: What?
Amber Waves: Don't worry, I'm fixed. I want you to cum in me. Okay.
Amber Waves: Fuckin' 1980. Can you believe it?
Dirk: I can't. It's like, the next thing you know it's like 1990 and 2000. Can you imagine?
Amber Waves: Goodbye 1979. Hello 1980. Okay. Make sure you snort it back, real quick - and hard.
Rollergirl: Why do I love him? Ah. He's very special! And he can fuck hard and he can fuck like really gently. He's the best!
Buck Swope: I was sayin' that I love sunsets.
Jessie St. Vincent: But, sunrises are better.
Buck Swope: Exactly!
Jessie St. Vincent: I - I thought I was the only one who felt that way.
Buck Swope: No, I feel that way!
Jessie St. Vincent: Really?
Buck Swope: Yes, really!
Floyd Gondolli: So let's talk about the future. So let's talk about what video means to this industry - and let's talk about how all of us - not one of us - but all of us are going to profit.
Jerome: As far as I'm concerned, it's all about love. You know what I mean? If you love someone, how hard can the world be. I mean, people will come and they will go and so will problems. But, ultimately, if you have got love on your side and it is just - I mean - it is just deep down in your soul, what's a problem going to be that takes your attention away from that? You understand?
Becky Barnett: I'm Becky Barnett.
Jerome: I'm Jerome.
Becky Barnett: Nice to meet you.
Dirk: I've gotten thousands upon thousands of letters, you know, from people telling me, "God, you've taught me this and you've made our love life so much better." And this isn't, you know, go out and have sex with ten million people and, you know, how to get a girl off. It's about how to get your wife off. You know, if only, you know, people could have been doing this before, we could have a million relationships. You know, I've saved thousands.
Dirk: I only am who I am because I was born that way. I have a gift and I am trying to not be selfish about it but to use it. Okay? And if you want to knock me for that, it's your own problem. Okay? Jealousy will get you nowhere. I'm gonna keep rockin' on!
Rahad Jackson: I love this. I make these little mix tapes together. You know, I put all my favorite songs together. Hey Cosmo, what number is this? Number - number eleven, yeah. I love it. When you buy a tape or something or an album, you know, you put it on and the songs are - the band put the songs in some fuckin' order like they want you to listen to it in that order. You know, I hate that. I fuckin' hate that. I don't like to be told what to listen to, when to listen to it or anything! Fuck.
Jack Horner: I'm not going to shoot you in the state you're in.
Dirk: What do you mean state? State? State of California? I know where the fuck I am, Jack.
Jack Horner: You sure you don't want a Fresca?
