3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain (1998) Poster

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High Noon at Mega Suck-fest
Red-Barracuda18 January 2006
First off, this is a kids movie so certain allowances should be made for its rubbishness. But I expect that the majority of 7 year olds would find High Noon an unrewarding and painful experience.

The film concerns a group of extremely unscary baddies who decide that world domination can be best achieved by hijacking an amusement park. Two things prevent the villains from carrying out their evil plan. Firstly, the bad guys find themselves easily defeated at every turn by three children and Hulk Hogan. Secondly, those aforementioned bad guys are morons.

The three children are, of course, the 3 Ninjas. They defeat fully grown men in martial art combat at every turn. Particularly remarkable, since one of the kids appears to be about four years old. Of especial note is the second youngest as he sports a haircut that is so abysmally misguided it makes Billy Ray Cyrus's mullet look tasteful. It is a bowl-cut/pony-tail combo; two haircuts from hell all on one head - it is truly horrendous and should really not be seen by younger viewers.

An interesting aspect of the movie is that despite the fact that the fairground has been hijacked, no one seems to have informed the extras. They carry on enjoying the rides as if nothing has happened. As I said earlier, the bad guys are essentially idiots, so its just possible that they have not got their heads round the technicalities of hijacking. But, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter as the film is not exactly convincing in a general sense.

Do I recommend it? Not really but it is an ideal birthday present for a child you dislike.
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stu-221 July 2000
1992's "3 Ninjas" was a really cool movie, back in 2nd grade! I felt that it would of been best to leave it alone. But, like all money hungry executives do, they have to go and make 3 lame sequels that overexpose what made the first one successful: fighting. And I don't know what the hell the filmakers were doing while shooting these movies and casting the stars? I guess they filmed the third one right after the first and intended for that to be the second one, since the kids in it are the same as the kids in the first! (still with me?)

But overall, this is the worst of the four. Was it supposed to be a prequel or something, 'cause all three kids look about 5 years younger than in the previous movies. And even if it was a prequel, the filmakers obviously didn't realize the kids don't get their names until later. Please don't rent this movie to enjoy it with your kids or yourself. Rent it to make fun of it with a friend or sibling, but beware, it might bore you or cheese you to death before you finish it!!

Note: A black belt doesn't screech out a high-pitched "HI-YA" when doing something like throwing an egg at a bad guy or cutting a rope that releases an anvil or something of that sort that black-belts don't do.
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One thing made this film great...
Goat Boy4 October 2001
...and that was the atrocious lesbian subtext between the little girl and Loni Anderson! Some of the lines from the lady in leather were so morally wrong they were superb! That said, the rest of the film was poor, with the three kids not even comprehending the basic rules of the ninja (as in STAYING UNSEEN AND SILENT!). The fight scenes were static and bland. If you want a good ninja film for the kids, rent Surf Ninjas. Also, even thinking about Colt's haircut still makes me cringe a week after I saw the film...
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jeffuary31 March 2006
Every once in a while a film comes along that makes you glad to be alive. Cinema is a beautiful art form, and no cinema is more gorgeous than 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain. Epic on a grand scale, the cinematic majesty on display would make Kurosawa's corpse reanimate just so it could kill itself in shame at never meeting the grandeur of vision presented herein. I saw this movie and broke down in tears, as I knew my eyes had witnessed the most beautiful sight since Stallone and Carl Weathers flirting with each other on the beach in one of the Rocky films. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll curse yourself for thinking that the greatness of the previous 3 Ninjas movies could ever be topped.

Bravo. Bravo.
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Right to video...
MegaX24 June 1999
This was horrible. I remember that the original movie was mildly amusing, but this stinker left me disgusted. This is one movie where I was actually wanting the villains to win, because of the annyoing, constipated sounding screeching noises that "Tum-Tum" was making for karate yells and what not. I actually laughed when Loni Anderson said "Rest in pieces". The first two movies were cute, the third was...blech, but when a movie stars Hulk Hogan.... slow up on that, you've already lost all the money that you put into this flop; and then some.
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this movie STINKS
eragon56515 July 2005
Warning: Spoilers
This movie is the most awful karate movie i have ever seen. The moves the kids did stunk, the plot was lame, and the ending was dumb. At the end, the bad guy offers a fight deal against the grandpa when he is his prisoner. If the bad guy had half a brain, he would have simply kept him as a prisoner. When the ninja kids do their moves, they do not look realistic and they do not actually hit the targets when they do the moves, but the bad guys get hit anyway. Also, to hold off the criminals in their home, the ninjas give two of them diarrhea?? How lame is that? DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE!!! IT STINKS!!! This movie is currently on my top 10 of worst movies of all time. Oh, by the way, the kids looked like they were 3 yrs younger than before and the middle aged boy's hairdo gave me nightmares. DO NOT WATCH THIS!!!!
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a bad acting roller-coaster
matthew-lamb12 April 2005
There two types of bad film.... a)a film so bad you turn it off immediately or b)bad films starring hulk hogan that you have to watch to amuse yourself. Hulk plays Dave Dragon, some old guy who is not very hard and not very funny - and basically the bottom line of the film is some female terrorist tries to take over a theme park. They fail, thanks to some geeky kids who apparently know martial arts. The most annoying thing though is how easily grown adults get beaten up by pesky little kids. This film is so bad, but, fair play, I watched most of it so it achieved something in that sense. Enjoyable if you like ripping it out of bad actors and rubbish plots.
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possibly the worst movie i've ever seen
ztem896 November 2004
the only reason i rented this garbage excuse for a movie is because i am a big fan of the original 3 ninjas movie. when the original came out i was a little kid and it was great. after seeing 3 ninjas kick back and 3 ninjas knuckle up i wasn't expecting 3 ninjas high noon to be that good, since the 2 preceding ones weren't' that great. so finally, 8 years after the release i rent 3 Ninjas High Noon at Mega Mountain....where shall i begin.

-3 new actors playing the boys, if u can even consider them actors -rocky is "too cool" to be a ninja -colt has a lisp and a pony tail -tum-tum looks like he retrograded back in time and is now 5

-when tum-tum screams hi-ya it sounds like a little girl

-hulk holgan is in this movie -terriorts take over AN AMUSMANT PARK! -worst acting i've ever seen...ninjas, hulk holgan, terriorts included -dummest plot line

this movie killed the 3 ninjas for me. i don't' think i can ever watch the original again and enjoy it. every time i see rocky i will think of a stuck up asshole; colt, i will think of his "new look", and tum-tum i will think of a 5 year old cry baby.

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Tam Tam - Tam Tam - Tam Tam
The-Lord-of-Darkness5 February 2004
You might think, that this movie sucks, but you´re dead wrong!

This is the funniest piece, I´ve ever seen in my life!

Seriously, I was laughing tears the whole movie - then I tried to kill myself!

Normally, in a Hogan movie, you can expect, that he´s the one, beating up the bad guys, but not here, Hogan mostly stands - or lies - in the way, while the villains get an ass-kicking from an 3-year-old, and his two wannabe-ninja brothers!

I won´t write something about the story, because:

a) There is no story, and even if you find one (I didn´t), you should forget about it wright now!

b) I have seen this movie 3 years ago, which makes it difficult, to write a good comment!

Hey, I rated this one 10, and YOU should do the same!

But please rate it, BEFORE you watch it! ;)
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This movie ROCKS my SOCKS!
abortedfoetus15 May 2005
In this tremendous film Hulk Hogan plays a really brilliant and inspirational character called Dave Dragon and he runs around being BADASS with his amazing theme tune and also he beats up loads of bad guys with his little chums who all suck at acting. This film is basically ninjas (rubbish ninjas) getting beaten up by little kids for ages, while rubbish bad guys go about executing their rubbish plans. Hulk Hogan doesn't really do much in it and his theme tune doesn't get played anywhere near as much as it should.

All in all I would say watch this movie because it's got Hulk Hogan in it.
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OH GOD PLEASE.....no...no...NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
youngblood_1625 January 2001
OH...UUHHGG...AAAARRRGGGHHHHH...*COUGH COUGH* EEEEWWWW worst movie ever, i fell asleep in the thearter, REALLY i did. It was that bad. You have got to be really corny to like this movie. Its one of those movies that make you hate every thing about your brother, They made me go because they couldnt go alone. After the movie ended, My little brothers wanted to become ninjas themselves.. coming out they were kicking. OH YUCK
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There's a circle of hell reserved for Hulk Hogan, based on this movie alone
itsbaylis30 October 2006
My therapist won't like me talking about it but I've got a bottle of calm-down pills nearby in case this review brings up too many memories for me ad causes...a relapse.

This film is dreadful. There aren't enough words to describe how buttock clenchingly bad this film is. It made me want to yell at those responsible about how they were causing physical pain to people with this movie. I was 12 when I first watched this and I thought it was awful then as well. I defy any child to be content with this dross, and if any adult enjoys it I'm sorry but the men in white coats are coming with the special jacket.

The plot is nonsense, the dialogue stomach churning and the acting worse than anything seen in a Friday the 13th movie. Avoid if you like your eyeballs and don't want to spoon them out.

Now if you'll excuse me I'll just take my tablets and go to bed before they come and take me away again...
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It had Jim Varney
bug7625 March 2011
The only reason I bought this DVD is because I'm such a fan of Varney's. I wouldn't have known about this movie much less get it if he wasn't in it. While lots of people rag on Hulk Hogan, he wasn't the worst actor. By far, the most wooden performance goes to Loni Anderson. If this is a family oriented movie, why in the world did they have her dress in that skanky leather outfit that was far too short? Terrible casting as far as Loni goes. She was supposed to be the evil Medusa but I didn't buy it. She just didn't have the quality of pulling off the 'bad guy' type of role. She was much better on 'WKRP in Cinncinati'. I got a little tired of Tum Tum's 'Ay-yahs' after a while. They were too high pitched and over done. All 6 stars go to Jim Varney. I was actually rooting for Lothar to become successful in his mission for he was the only one of the bad guys with the brilliance to pull off the heist. He easily outshone all the stars, as usual. He always gives 100% to whatever role he played as you can see here. Jim and Victor were the two best actors in this movie. Maybe if Jim had cast and directed this, it would've been a bigger box office success. The man was a brilliant actor and a genius. If you're a fan of Varney's, then yes, get the movie just to watch him. Otherwise, don't bother.
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Wonderful Flick
miked27200125 October 2007
This movie was a real treat. I say "treat" in the sense that it was one of the worst movies I've ever seen, hence I love it. The plot is ridiculous & other posters have done a good job at pointing out the shortcomings so I'll keep this brief. As someone alluded to previously & after a secondary viewing last night re-enforced, it is quite comical how the "terrorists" go through extreme measures to get into the park (ie; having a ship offshore, jet skis, scuba diving, underwater lasers etc,) when they could just pay the nominal fee to gain access to the park! That was great. Hulk Hogan as always, is a crowd pleaser. I like at the end when he knocks off the tops of the underwater breathing apparatuses with a single blow & they masquerade as oxygen diffusing projectiles! Jim Varney obviously was funny in his role as the antagonist, no doubt ashamed to be cast in such a lousy movie. And the three "ninjas"? Don't even get me started. So cheesy with the Ayais! over & over. Terrible actors, but it all adds to the ambiance of a wonderful film, albeit low budget & misconstrued, unintentional comedy. Would highly recommend, & it goes without saying that a solid buzz while embarking on such a journey will no doubt add to the enjoyment derived from this little gem. Cheers!
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more like "High Noon at this film is %&@£"
philbertz2 November 2004
I've just worked it out on my pocket calculator, this is the worst film I have ever seen. Reminds me of a film produced a couple of years back, "Kitchen Wars", if only for the fact that the bad guys(the late great Jassi Chan)/girls in both films liked to wear leather skirts. The film has only served to fuel my hatred for the 3 ninjas. I'd love to beat up the 3 ninjas, I'm pretty sure I could take them in a fight. I've seen the film three times now, studying their moves and I don't think they're as good as Hulk Hogan says. On the plus side... It did star Hulk Hogan and as Hulk always says "hi, I'm Hulk Hogan!" My favourite part was when the little kid went POW! However, it's really good and I love it.

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10 out of 10 for being one of the worst movies ever made
iansjunkmail16 July 2005
This movie falls under my friend's theory that if a movie is bad enough, it loops around to become good again. Not dissimilar to Einsteins theory of bending light around the universe to see into the future (aka Paycheck). This movie is so terrible (just like the ones before it) in so many ways its hard to believe any production company would sign on to do it. Hulk Hogan is, as always, a terrible actor, but to reproduce the performance he gave in Gremlins 2: The New Batch, would be impossible for anyone.

Watch this movie if you have a sense of humor and an hour and a half to waste.
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Outlandish movie.............. phenomenal soundtrack!
gimpnmagician2224 June 2008
Warning: Spoilers
I'm sure when this movie came out it was the greatest disappointment of whatever season it was released in. I'm sure the intrepid masses of casual movie-goers teeming with anticipation for the latest 3 Ninjas spectacle felt betrayed on a deep and personal level akin to having a father register you for the navy. While this movie may not be the best in its class and may suffer from numerous flaws (rancid acting, unrealistic plot, pathetic villains, stanky clichés, annoying ninja kid grunts, Hulk Hogan's dialogue, Hulk Hogan's wardrobe, Hulk Hogan) it still maintains one splendid aspect which I find delightful no matter how many times a week I sit down and pop this VHS in: its soundtrack.

Yes, Howard Bucket may be one of the most under-recognized composers of synthesized film soundtracks. I bought this soundtrack on cassette in 2001 and have never felt more satisfied spending a dollar twenty five. Bucket shows a diverse range of emotions, from the go-lucky tune of "Ninjas and a Female Geek" to the dark and menacing track "Varney's Villainy". Who could refuse the heroic and uplifting tone of "Dragon's Theme"? A personal favorite of mine is "Hogan Gets Captured Again". The whimsical and bouncy nature of "Bad Guys Get the Money" forms a stark contrast to the dramatic almost nerve-biting "Realistic Battle on Top of a Roller Coaster Track", a technique that bands like Radiohead and Smash Mouth began to employ many years after. And who can forget the pen-ultimate track "Tum Tum Eats the Flesh of the Fallen"? Yes, this soundtrack is truly as epic as the film it was made for, but of a much higher quality! You see kids, soundtracks don't require a gigantic team of cameramen, directors, producers, writers, engineers, actors, more writers, actors' parents, and technical consultants. Soundtracks require only one lonely thirty three year old in a studio with a synthesizer. And a lot of heart.
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Here be monsters...
A_Roode14 February 2006
Old sea maps used to leave a warning on the outer edges of the charts. It would read: "Here be monsters." I wish such a message had been written before the opening credits. Oh, actually it was, but it was in code that I deciphered too late to save myself. It was the part which read: "3 Ninjas High Noon at Mega Mountain." WOE! WOE UNTO ME!!!!

I'm a man with, admittedly, unusual and quirky tastes when it comes to film and film actors/actresses. I like a lot of character actors because they tend to get the most interesting variety of parts. I really loved Victor Wong's career. Memories of his performances in films like 'Tremors,' 'Prince of Darkness,' and especially 'Big Trouble in Little China' (with another favourite of mine, Al Leong -- the Wing Kong Hatchet Man!!! *LOL*) have put me on a quest to see as much of his work as possible.

A quest that died Saturday afternoon just past.

This deeply regrettable, dreckish, foul excuse of a film and the knowledge that Victor Wong appeared in three other incarnations of it is enough to sour even the strongest movie-goers stomach. Victor's appearance in this awful thing is mercifully concentrated in the opening of the film. It gives him no chance to show off any of his inimitable charm and Victor Wong looks like a tired old man weighed down by the two hardest words that any actor will ever have to listen to: Contractual obligation.

Music: insipid. Direction: insipid. Plot: insipid. Dialogue: insipid. Acting: hit and miss.

The kids all deserved better than to be stuck in this film. For fear that they will track me down and beat the heck out of me with their ninja skills, just let me say that they all gave academy award worthy performances. Exhibit A: the two younger brothers manage to keep a straight face and wait -- holding their fight stance -- for thirty seconds as the three bad guy adults struggle to get out of their costumes and dress up again so that the kids can yell "NINJAS!!!" I don't blame the kids for this despite the fact that they were as unwatchable as everything else here. This film will bore parents to death so unless you want orphans, avoid, avoid, AVOID!!!

Victor Wong (let me return to a bright light for a moment) died after this film. Jim Varney, who also appeared in this film, has also since died. You may draw your own conclusions.

Varney, in all fairness, is probably the best thing in this film. His performance takes him in a scene-stealing direction with a bad guy turn. Out-acting Loni Anderson, Hulk Hogan and all three ninjas, he easily comes across as a bully who is picking an acting fight with unarmed opponents ... I said I wasn't going to blame the kids... this wasn't their fault, this wasn't their fault ...

Final Verdict: (un)watchable... BEARABLE only for those who are die-hard Wong or Varney fans. Also bearable if one chants over and over again the words: "this too shall pass." All others should give a miss with extreme prejudice.
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A middle school AV team could have made a better movie.
tokyostreetkiller21 April 2006
Honestly. Do yourself a favor and don't watch this crap. It is not even good enough to be a lame kids movie. In fact, the makers of this film should be sentenced to a life term in prison for exposing the world to such garbage.

Seriously, there are a lot of cut corners here, and the story is worse than that of a cheap porn flick. Anyone who payed to see this movie in a theater was robbed. It still amazes me that this could have been printed, honestly, the movie is just one stupid gag after another, one's we have already seen and are tired of. On a scale of 1 to 10, I wouldn't give it a score at all, it is not good enough.
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One of the worst films of all time...
MovieAddict201630 December 2003
A colossal mess. Badly acted, poorly written, sorely misdirected. The "3 Ninjas" series never needed a sequel, much less the uncountable number it has spawned.

The infamous 3 Ninjas go to a theme park in this sequel and use Hulk Hogan to fight off a bunch of terrorists (?). Miserable, putrid stuff. The acting is in league with "Pod People" (1983).

Do NOT watch this movie! I feel stupiderererer already.

0/5 stars.

  • John Ulmer
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Passes the time I suppose but not great.
Paul Andrews29 March 2011
Warning: Spoilers
3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain starts as a young girl named Amanda (Chelsey Earlywine) & her family move into their new home in Hidden Shores, they are welcomed to the neighbourhood by brother's Colt (Michael O' Laskey II), TumTum (James Paul Roeske II) & Rocky (Mathew Botuchis) who are all going to an amusement park named Mega Mountain that afternoon & invite Amanda to join them. While at the theme park the three ninja brother's & Amanda become aware that it has been taken over by a group of thieves, armed with guns & in complete control of Mega Mountain they hold the owner to ransom. The three ninja brother's decide to fight back & with the help of ageing television action hero Dave Dragon (Hulk Hogan) take on the criminals, can they save the day or will the bad guy's win?

Co-written & directed by Sean McNamara this rather violent & childish slapstick action comedy that isn't particularly great & pretty silly at times but I found it passed the time if nothing else. The script is a sort of childish Die Hard (1989) but instead of ruthless criminals there are bumbling bad guy's, instead of the high rise building they take over an amusement park, instead of a tough cop hero there are three bratty child ninjas & their geek female friend & instead of a wisecracking Bruce Willis we get a tired looking Hulk Hogan as a washed-up television star (art imitating life maybe?). Here in the UK this film was quite heavily cut by around four minutes for scenes of nunchukas, head butts, ear claps & a kid wetting himself & having just seen the uncut version I am not sure what to make of it, 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain is definitely aimed at a young audience with it's silly slapstick action & childish humour so the high levels of violence did sit a little uneasily with me. From the head butts to kicks & punches to sword fights & even a scene in which a young boy throw's darts at a man. Just think about how incredibly dangerous that is for a minute, seriously if someone threw a dart at you & it hit you in the face you would be in big trouble & another worrying aspect of 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain is that none of this violence ever has any consequence. The guy who gets a dart thrown at him just catches it in his mouth, punches, kicks & being pushed off rooftops seem to cause no sort of injury to anyone & maybe it would have been better if the makers did emphasise how dangerous these techniques are. As an action comedy it moves along at a decent pace, it's silly & not particularly coherent (where did Amanda get that remote control helicopter from at the end? Why is everyone at the park enjoying themselves it being run by armed criminals?) & it's pretty predictable & safe in that the good guy's win & the bad guy's lose.

The fights are played mostly for laughs with bumbling bad guy's being beaten up by kids, there's an exploding boat at the end & not much else in the way of action. One also has to say that Mega Mountain amusement park has some really lack security, I mean Amaanda manages to take explosives, razor sharp throwing cards, a razor bladed yo-yo & a remote control helicopter inside her backpack. Mega Mountain also seems to have many brilliantly placed CCTV cameras that track exactly what armed criminals want & from perfect angles.

Filmed at Elitch Gardens amusement park in Denver in Colorado, rather sloppily made with poor continuity & lacklustre production values. The acting isn't great, the three ninja kids are terrible while Hulk Hogan seems bored & Loni Anderson is the main highlight as the whip cracking leather clad Medusa but what is someone dressed like that doing in a kids film?

3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain is a silly & childish action comedy that is probably a bit too violent for a film aimed at children & implies that violence has no consequence. I suppose it passes the time & as a silly Die Hard style kids comedy I thought it was watchable.
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I don't know what else to say!!!
Kay_Bear_20216 January 2004
This movie was the worst I've ever seen. I hope they don't keep it in the video stores, because kids don't need to see all that bad acting. Even Hogan was stupid! The kids do okay with the martial arts, but you can so tell that they hardly ever connected the blows. The least they could have done was make it look real!
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My kids loved this movie, we're going out to buy it today.
Jim-45626 December 1999
My kids loved this movie, we're going out to buy it today. We just rented this movie and my kids liked it so much that we have to go and buy it today. My wife and I liked that the fight scenes were fun and not violent. A GREAT kids movie.
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Was it just me, or did anyone else feel like they were watching a Kraft cheese commercial?
Kristine9 July 2006
I swear at the beginning with the parents, I felt like they were just smiling too much and it looked like they were just going to say cliché' things like "Oh, you kids!" or "That's coming out of your allowance" while smiling at the camera on cue.

Now, granted, this is a movie for kids, but I think we are starting to insult our kids just a little bit. I mean, we do actually have a decent cast for a kid's flick, but these adults really sunk beyond the kid's humor. While it has some good morals and another happy ending, just the jokes got old and I think we are just insulting our kid's intelligence and humor.


PS: Loni, lay off the fake tan!
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Worst movie ever
zgall127 March 2003
I think worst movie ever is being too kind. If I had the option of watching this again or ramming nails through my head, I would choose the latter and I hope all of you do as well. This has got to be the dumbest idea I have ever heard of. And Hulk Hogan? Wow, he is just absolutely pathetic. Stick to wrestling - that's something you suck at slightly less than acting.
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