Two If by Sea (1996) Poster


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A cute, funny, guilty pleasure type of movie
WolverineGirl26 November 2001
The story is nothing new, the acting ain't that great, but "Two if by Sea" has its moments. It's an entertaining little movie, and Sandra Bullock's mixture of charm, sarcasm, and innocence play out well. The movie knows it's not too sophisticated or shrewd (even the cop says of his own investigation, "this is too easy") and it's a great film to watch on an afternoon or just to be entertained. If you're a Sandra fan, you'll like it no matter what. :)
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Funny movie, but more appealing to Denis Leary fans
mattymatt4ever30 March 2001
I am a big fan of Denis Leary, and I thought this was a damn funny movie. The plot is cut-and-dry (the little plot that exists), but it works out nicely as a comedy, mostly due to Leary's funny dialogue and humorous arguments between him and Bullock. I think Bullock was miscast, though. She did an OK job, but her accent drifted many times. If you like Leary, you'll probably have a great time. I especially loved the scene where Leary was going fishing and he shoots one of the fish. Then he cooks it up, serves it up to Bullock and she spits out a bullet. That was classic. But for non-Leary might not enjoy it as much. I don't consider him an acquired taste, but his foul-mouthed banter doesn't appeal to everyone.
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Minor gem
xredgarnetx4 November 2006
A blonde Sandra B. and her beau of longstanding, played by the equally blond Dennis Leary, romp their way through a romantic comedy having to do with a bunch of small-time crooks and a very valuable stolen painting. Shot in scenic Nova Scotia, the backgrounds are absolutely gorgeous, and Bullock and Leary have great rapport that makes their rocky relationship very believable. FBI agent Yaphet Koto is along for the ride in a role similar to the one he essayed in MIDNIGHT RUN. Leary co-wrote this, In a manner reminiscent of Donald Westlake -- which is a very good thing, if you know who Westlake is. If not, look him up. Leary is consistently Leary (maybe he was born a fully developed adult), while Bullock in 1996 is growing into the superstar that we know today. She's playing a role that might have been Julia Roberts' a few years before, as she did in several other pictures prior to SPEED and MISS CONGENIALITY, which she made her own.
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CHEER! - (7 stars out of 10)
Beejerman23 April 2019
The stage curtains open ...

Although "Two If By Sea" isn't one of Sandra Bullock's best films, it has a quiet and undeniable charm. It knows how to balance the plot with characterization and keeps you entertained. Frank (Leary) and Roz (Bullock) are two people you grow to care about and want to see the best outcome for. This is a great little film and well worth the watch.

The story starts right in the middle of things with no build up or foundation. Just two people - on the road - with a stolen valuable painting - police hot on their tail - on their way to a meeting with a buyer which equals payday for their efforts. They are also a couple, with their own history and share of problems and personality conflicts - and after 7 years of being together, things have finally come to a head. With the FBI, local police, a flattering neighbor, wise guys, and an obnoxious teenage kid all involved - you are taken down a sometimes comical path to a fun ending.

I saw this one once over 20 years ago, and I remember liking it. I've been in a retro mood lately, so I decided to pop it in and give it another view and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Probably more this time than the last. There is an honesty and carefree quality to both of these characters that is appealing. The ability to seemingly be in the moment with their fair share of pressure and concerns, and yet not take everything too seriously. In fact, it almost radiates a kind of innocence, even though he is a petty thief who she is trying to straighten out.

This one comes with a recommend. I was surprised how much I liked this movie, after all these years. It is a bit dated, but not too much. The chemistry between Leary and Bullock really works well here - almost like these two were made for each other. This is a fun diversion - a great way to spend 96 minutes.
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Only for Sandra Bullock
jubair071 December 2016
The basic premise of the movie is the story of two thief Roz (Sandra Bullock) and Frank (Denis Leary). There is nothing new in this movie in terms of plot, great character development or mise en scene. But it is still quite enjoyable due to the great on-screen chemistry between Sandra Bullock and Denis Leary.

I watched it as I was (I still am) a huge fan of Sandra Bullock and she didn't disappoint. She had quite a different role in this movie as a "Bad Girl" persona compared to her previous "The Sweet Girl Next Door" character movies she did like Love Potion No. 9, The Net, While You Were Sleeping and Speed. Her character, costumes and her interactions with Denis Leary makes it a worthwhile movie for fans of Sandra Bullock and a an interesting Friday Night movie for everyone else.

One honourable mention is Yaphet Kotto as FBI Agent O'Malley, he basically steals every scene he is in even when Bullock and Leary are present.
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not as bad as I had heard
luvwahoo12 August 2001
I avoided watching this for quite a while because I had heard it wasn't too good. But actually, I enjoyed it...enough that I have watched it twice now. I have a question the the data base cannot answer for me, though. The actor who plays the lacky to FBI agent O'Malley...he's not listed, but he has to be Dave Coulier from Full House. If anyone knows could they email me, please. Thanks
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Lighthearted entertainment
SquirePM21 May 2002
Maybe there's a reason people who live in provinces are called

provincial. Perhaps they expect a "Citizen Kane" or a "Godfather"

every time they step into a theater. Great movies are few and far

between, and about the best you can usually hope for is a

coherent tale told in an entertaining way.

And that "Two If By Sea" certainly is. I give it 9 out of 10 for its

hilarity, subtle performances, niceness, great scenery, and overall

execution. It's a warm movie filled with lots of really zingy little

funnies. It never strays far from its agreeable theme of true love,

and when it does it takes delightful tangents into: pure slapstick

goofiness, devastatingly piercing pricking of the neuveau riche,

adolescence, and even the plight of the city dweller who thinks

he's "out in the country" (as when a terrified Leary draws a .38 on a

tame deer). You have to admire a director who can take as many

potshots at life as "Airplane!" does, and still stay within the context

of a story as cohesive as this one is.

Actually this is one of Denis Leary's finest hours. He portrays a

guy who gets along in life by being tough and irascible, although at

heart he's hard pressed to cope with the world in general and

completely confused by love. Sure his character comes across as

grating -- it's supposed to. But if you can't see past the facade to

the nice guy underneath, you're not much of a moviegoer.

To his excellent work the director adds Sandra Bullock's character,

who is just enough not satisfied with a simple, linear life to throw

Leary into one tailspin after another. Their chemistry is often

prickly, but always centered around the movie's core theme. And it

takes real talent to portray her part with the touch of frustration she

has, without coming across as a bitch. Bullock impressed me by

achieving just the right tone.

And in the end, what more could you want? The good guys all find

ways to win and the bad guy loses his claim to fame and goes

down in flame, blame and shame. Whoooeee!
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Romantic Comedy at its best
riky2 January 1999
Roz [Sandra Bullock] Has hooked up with Frank [Dennis Leary, a small time crook who is always looking for that big job to retire on] who is fed up with him not treating her as a lady, she reluctantly ends up in this little coastal town to do a deal with the stolen painting on their last job, where they try to fit in among the residents living there, when Roz finds how the other half live and likes it, she also finds a love.

A very funny romantic comedy, look out for the scene Sandra's getting changed, and on the bed with Dennis.
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A little harsh "John Wright" the movie is pretty decent
Sax23 May 1999
This movie is best explained by the staff at IMdb.I thought it was funnier than s**t.The plot wasn't really important for this movie to be worth watching.I haven't seen Leary ever play a bad role or stand up & I guess one would have to understand his humor,and if you do you will enjoy "Two if by Sea".If you don't like a movie,one can criticize,without such an outrage of anger.Come on!It's just the movies on a friendly database.Lighten up Mr. Wright.
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rshrmn20 January 2001
Let me say right off the bat that "Two If By Sea" is by far one of the best comedies ever written. Backed by a killer screenplay and stunning cinematography, Sandra Bullock and Dennis Leary do a fantastic job - their superb on-screen chemistry left me in stitches. Normally, I am quite critical of romantic comedies, but "Two If By Sea" left me breathless.

A cinematic masterpiece in all respects!
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Great chemistry, weak story.
jbels23 January 2003
It hit me while watching this that the movie would have been better if Sandra Bullock and Dennis Leary were not criminals. I know, strange, as that is the whole basis for plot, but the two of them were such fun when they were bantering that I thought the plot just got in the way. If it would have been about the two of them sneaking up to Martha's Vineyard to rekindle their romance, this would have been a truly great film.
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Watch this romantic comedy movie with your girlfriend
butchfilms10 February 2009
This is the kind of movie to sit, watch and relax without demanding too much of it.

The stronger point of the movie are its likable characters (except Evan Marsh). Sandra Bullock is like a fish in the water in this kind of movies and she has a good chemistry with the other leading Denis Leary. The supporting characters are good like the FBI Agent O'Malley and the group of thieves (especially when they discuss between themselves making funny comments).

'Frank' O'Brien has stolen a very expensive painting and he will go to an appointment with his girlfriend Roz to sell it, what he doesn't know it is that the FBI Agent O'Malley and his thieves friends are after them
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Good for watching on a relaxing rainy weekend.
Cowtownus6 October 2021
Sandra Bullock and Dennis Leary are entertaining together. It takes a little getting used to their east coast accents. Once you get past that, then sit back and enjoy. It is not sophiscated thriller. Just comedic fun. Kapeto the detective is also fun to watch. The movie almost falls in the line of the Clue movie just kind of clean comedic fun the way movies used to be made. But, no way is it funny as Clue or Knives Out. I would watch again if I had nothing else better to do.
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Not sandy's best
csauer6 December 2005
This movie started out with some good laughs but why didn't I like it? Sandra was pretty funny but that didn't satisfy me this time. The story itself was goofy. I mean this couple was together for seven years and had nothing? Beano didn't exactly come off as a real big crime boss. I mean being the idiot of the Red Green show to king pin? I don't think so. The fishing scene was hilarious and the deer scene was great. I didn't care for Roz making a play for the rich neighbor only to run back to Frank when rich boy gets busted. The FBI, police and sheriff department were all so inept it was like the key stone cops. It had all in all some laughs but I was glad when it ended. Good enough to watch once I guess. This movie is so so.
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Too bad if you see
helpless_dancer8 January 2002
I couldn't stand but 30 minutes of this swill. Lame, utterly stupid jokes used in the most idiotic instances: third grade dialogue with a kindergarten story. Who wrote this crap? Even Sandra looked like hell, positively fat. Putrid!
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vickyd-226 June 2004
I think this is really funny it reminds me of "Weekend at Bernies". We really enjoyed it! And I like Sandra Bullock & Denis Leary too. You can't take this movie too seriously either. And Yaphat Kotto is funny when he plays a character named O'Malley and says to the other policeman - Top of the Morning - is that Irish enough for you. What a riot. This is not a movie the "The Net" it's just a fluffy movie and what about all the great scenery. It's wonderful and there are a lot of great actors in it that I've seen before. I would really recommend this movie - actually it's on TBS this morning so I wanted to mention that if anyone would like to watch it.
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Yaphet Kotto shines, but Bullock stinks
jack_947068 February 2001
Bullock fans will be greatly disappointed, wonder why she accepted such a stupid part. Generally the presence of Yaphet Kotto in a film is enough to spark my interest; prior to seeing this film, Bullock had also begun to have that sort of status for me. She is excellent two or three films, but hasn't done much since "Speed" which really merits attention. My brother, who is in the film trade in Hollywood, told me Bullock had fired her manager or agent, after drawing lots of attention for a few successful roles. Apparently this agent was the one who selected roles for Bullock which best brought her charm to the screen. Maybe she felt too stereotyped as "America's Sweetheart" or the next "Audrey Hepburn" -- I don't know. But her business sense, her apparent lack of concern about being given poor roles or stupid and disgusting lines in them, especially in this movie -- have completely destroyed my interest in almost all recent films she's been in. Kotto provides the only light here, in my estimation, and a fine light, too -- but his role comes too late and his presence in too limited to save this junk bucket.
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Random Hearts won't steal yours
Dodger-915 October 2000
Denis Leary: One of the greatest Irish American comedian/actors to emerge in the Nineties.

Sandra Bullock: One of the most engaging actresses to emerge around the same time.

When they appeared in Demolition Man in 1993, there was little chance to see any chemistry between the pair for all the big bangs and special effects. They rarely shared any scenes together which made matters worse.

So when this movie put them together three years later, the going looked good. Great Nova Scotia scenery and a screenplay partly written by Leary looked promising.

Alas, while both stars are still great, the script and pacing lacks a lot. As a fan of both stars, I could only watch half an hour before I had to go to bed.

The fact that I saw it after the dreadful Speed 2 made it a little easier to palate, but not much.

If you want to see a great movie involving Leary and a stolen painting watch The Thomas Crown Affair (1999) instead.
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An unknown but fairly good movie
ThomasColquith11 October 2021
"Two if by Sea" is a little known movie, I just came across it now on tv and though I didn't expect much from the description it actually pulled me in due to the fine cinematography and scenery. I had thought that it might have been Maine, but it turns out to have been filmed in Nova Scotia. While the movie is not overly deep or serious, it is an entertaining diversion which does explore the two main characters to an extent. A relaxing watch, good for a slow afternoon. My rating: 6/10.
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like the leads
SnoopyStyle17 December 2020
Frank O'Brien (Denis Leary) and Roz (Sandra Bullock) are a low class petty-thieving couple. They stole a $4 million Matisse on contract with his cousin Beano Callahan and are on the run from the cops. Only they don't know its true value and the plan is to sell it for $20k with $10k being their share. They are running to meet the buyer on an island in Rhode Island and being pursued by FBI Agent O'Malley (Yaphet Kotto).

The bickering couple has an underlying promise of fun. I don't know if they actually achieve fun. I can't tell if I actually like this couple or just the two actors playing the couple. The filmmaking is rather lackluster with badly staged physical comedy. It's not obviously bad but it's not doing anything right. I like the criminals' ineptness. I don't like the unfunny inept cops. I would get rid of the boy who causes more problems than solves them. I like some of this but not a lot. This works to some extent but it's an uneven ride.
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Dead in the water
Scoopy8 November 1998
Oh, dear. What a mess this movie is. When they are doing their thing, I like Leary and Bullock, but what is the deal with this movie?

It has approximately the same intricate, original plot structure and nuanced character development as an average episode of "Top Cat"

Don't get me wrong. I love "Top Cat", but not for two hours with live actors.
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keiseren-223 October 2002
With all due respect for Mr. Leary's capabilities as a comedian, this movie illustrates quite vividly that he is not an actor Hollywood has too much respect for. This movie is really, really stupid, and even Leary himself has admitted to being embarrassed about it. Bullock is on autopilot and all other characters are blatantly uninteresting. Only worth 3 points due to Leary's fishing-scene, that allows him to do what he is best at, comedy, and a rare performance by Yaphet Kotto. If you have no idea who Leary or Kotto is and thought "since Bullock is in it, it must be OK", you would be TERRIBLY wrong!!!
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First indication that it's a bad film: It has two separate titles
MovieAddict201624 September 2004
Every bad film that flops always has a title change, nine out of ten times, and such is the case with TWO IF BY SEA, a.k.a. STOLEN HEARTS. It's not an awful film by any means, semi-entertaining as a sweet, romantic crime romp -- but it's also nothing special, and certainly not worth renting when you can just wait for it to come on television.

The underrated Denis Leary and overrated Sandra Bullock are two crooks-turned-lovers who are on the flee from their last job when they accidentally assume the identity of another couple in a local neighborhood.

Yeah, it doesn't make any sense and defies logic. What were you expecting?

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Simply historic
Verbal-2019 May 2000
This film is the rightful butt of every bad-movie joke ever told. One of the worst and weakest of all films, it fails in ways beyond comprehension. Few movies have been any less funny or less emotionally involving for an unfortunate audience. At least with, say, Showgirls or Wild Wild West, you have something so bad it's funny. Two If By Sea does not have so lucky an audience. It's the worst kind of bad film, one that doesn't even have the decency to be humorously bad, so profoundly bad you can laugh at it. It is far, far worse. This movie makes Mortal Kombat Annihilation look like L.A. Confidential. I'm certain that watching Two If By Sea is considered torture in some parts of the world.
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