Vince Vaughn: Trent
Trent : You're so money and you don't even know it!
Mike : So how long do I wait to call?
Trent : A day.
Mike : Tomorrow.
Sue : Tomorrow, then a day.
Trent : Yeah.
Mike : So two days?
Trent : Yeah, I guess you could call it that, two days.
Sue : Definitely, two days is like industry standard.
Trent : You know I used to wait two days to call anybody, but now it's like everyone in town waits two days. So I think three days is kind of money. What do you think?
Sue : Yeah, but two's enough not to look anxious.
Trent : Yeah, two's enough not to look anxious. But I think three days is kind of money. You know because you...
Mike : Yeah, but you know what, mabey I'll wait 3 weeks. How's that? And tell her I was cleaning out my wallet and I just happened to run into her number.
Charles : Then ask her where you met her.
Mike : Yeah, I'll ask her where I met her. I don't remember. What does she look like? And then I'll asked if we fucked. Is that... would that be... T, would that be the money?
Trent : You know what. Ha ha ha Mike, laugh all you want but if you call too soon you might scare off a nice baby who's ready to party.
Mike : Well how long are you guys gonna wait to call your babies?
Trent : I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone's *really* hoping makes it happen. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know, the guy you're not sure whether or not you like yet. You're not sure where he's coming from. Okay? You're a bad man. You're a bad man, Mikey. You're a bad man, bad man.
Trent : Hey! What're you kicking me for? You want me to ask? All right, I'll ask! Ma'am, where do the high school girls hang out in this town?
Trent : You know what you are? You're like a big bear with claws and with fangs...
Sue : ...big fucking teeth, man.
Trent : Yeah... big fuckin' teeth on ya'. And she's just like this little bunny, who's just kinda cowering in the corner.
Sue : Shivering.
Trent : Yeah, man just kinda... you know, you got these claws and you're staring at these claws and your thinking to yourself, and with these claws you're thinking, "How am I supposed to kill this bunny, how am I supposed to kill this bunny?"
Sue : And you're poking at it, you're poking at it...
Trent : Yeah, you're not hurting it. You're just kinda gently batting the bunny around, you know what I mean? And the bunny's scared Mike, the bunny's scared of you, shivering.
Sue : And you got these fucking claws and these fangs...
Trent : And you got these fucking claws and these fangs, man! And you're looking at your claws and you're looking at your fangs. And you're thinking to yourself, you don't know what to do, man. "I don't know how to kill the bunny." With *this* you don't know how to kill the bunny, do you know what I mean?
Sue : You're like a big bear, man.
Mike : So you're not just like fucking with me?
Trent : No I'm not fucking with you.
Sue : Honestly, man.
[playing a hockey video game]
Trent : I wish they still had fights in this game so I could bitch-slap Wayne.
Mike : What? They don't have fighting anymore?
Trent : Doesn't that suck?
Mike : Why'd they get rid of the fighting? It was the best part of the old version.
Sue : I think kids were hittin' each other or somethin', man.
Trent : Yeah but you know what, Mike? You can make their heads bleed in this one.
Mike : Make somebody's head bleed.
Sue : No man, we're in the playoffs.
Mike : Look, we're gonna spend half the night driving around the Hills looking for this one party and you're going to say it sucks and we're all gonna leave and then we're gonna go look for this other party. But all the parties and all the bars, they all suck. I spend half the night talking to some girl who's looking around the room to see if there's somebody else who's more important she should be talking to. And it's like I'm supposed to be all happy 'cause she's wearing a backpack, you know? And half of them are just nasty skanks who wouldn't be nothing except they're surrounded by a bunch of drunken horny assholes. And I'm gonna tell you something T. Are you listening?
Trent : Yeah, I'm listening.
Mike : I'm not gonna be one of those assholes. Alright? It just makes me sick. It's like, some nasty skank who isn't half the woman my girlfriend is, is gonna front me? It makes me want to fuckin' puke!
Trent : I'm gonna make Gretzky's head bleed for super fan 99 over here.
Trent : Y'know, it's not so much me as Roenick; he's good.
Mike : You shouldn't be sorry, you're a winner. I'm the fucking loser. I'm the one who should be sorry.
Trent : Baby don't talk that way.
Mike : Can we just go, please, can we go?
Trent : Baby look at me, look at me. You're money, and you know what else? You're a big winner tonight.
Mike : I want to leave.
Trent : You're a big winner. I'm gonna ask you a simple question and I want you to listen to me: who's the big winner here tonight at the casino? Huh? Mikey, that's who. Mikey's the big winner. Mikey wins.
[Mike, Trent, and Sue are hanging out and Trent and Sue are playing video hockey]
Sue : This is bullshit, such bullshit!
Mike : The Kings suck in this game you should play another team.
Sue : I took the Kings to the cup.
Trent : Yea, against the computer with the offsides off.
Sue : They are a finesse team.
Trent : LA is a fucking bitch team. OOOOHHHHHHH!
[Trent bodychecks one of sue's players]
Sue : BITCH!
Trent : Vegas, baby. Vegas.
Trent : Um... a malt Glen Garry for me and my friend here. And if you tell that bartender to go extra easy on the water, this 50 cent piece has your name on it.
Trent : All I do is stare at their mouths and wrinkle my nose, and I turn out to be a sweetheart.
Trent : I'm gonna find me two waitresses here and I'm gonna pull me a Fredo.
Mike : Yeah, well they're all skanks.
Trent : What are talking about? Look at all the beautiful babies here.
Mike : The beautiful babies don't work the midnights-to-six on a Wednesday. This is the skank shift.
Trent : Look at all the beautiful honeys here.
Trent : There's nothing wrong with letting the girls know that you're money and that you want to party.
Trent : Look at this, okay? I want you to remember this face, here. Okay? This is the guy behind the guy behind the guy.
Trent : Excuse me darling. I'm sorry. Wow. I want you to remember this face here, OK, this is the guy behind the guy behind the guy.
Trent : You take yourself out of the game, you start talking about puppy dogs and ice cream and of course it's going to end up on the friendship tip.
Trent : I'm the asshole is this place, right? I'm the asshole? I'm outta here! I'm not eating here... I wouldn't eat here... I'd never eat here anyway!
Trent : [Getting ready to play video hockey] You ready hip hop? You ready New Kids on the Block?
Trent : Score Chicago!
Sue : Fuck! Such fuckin' bullshit!
Trent : [Trent hits the instant replay] Now that was pretty Sue...
Sue : Man, don't do the instant replay thing...
Trent : No way, you said it was fuckin' bullshit.
Sue : Don't do the fucking...
Trent : Well that's why they put the instant replay in the fucking game! So you can see if it's bullshit!
Sue : You're unbelieveable.
Trent : Well you know something, I am unbelievable.
Sue : [Trent shoves Sue] Don't fucking touch me.
Trent : When I'm not here will you practice?
Trent : Everybody steals from everybody, that's Hollywood.
Trent : All right, all right I'll ask her. Miss, miss! Do you know where the high school girls hang out around here? What? What? That's right, I'm the asshole! I'm the asshole!
Trent : Our baby's all grown up.