I really hate it when people spout off about such and such a movie being "one of the worst of all time." Being someone who is a keen watcher of the terrible turkeys they show on TV I've compiled a list of attributes a movie must have to truly suck. (As you might have guessed, Stormy Nights fits all of them.)
1. Complete absence of plot, or if there is a plot one that makes you wish there wasn't one.
2. Absolutely no semblance of acting.
3. No music, or at least no music that fits.
4. Bad sound--the kind where no matter how you adjust your speakers it still sounds like feedback from a Henry Rollins Band concert.
5. Lack of any cinemotagrahpical techniques besides a a hackneyed close up or two.
6. Lighting that looks like the filmers just went with what was there.
7. Editing that makes "Momento" look like a tidy little story.
8. Lack of delivering what it advertises (in this case sex and suspense).
9. An overall feeling of suckage.
10. And most importantly the train wreck effect. The fact that you'll keep watching it, not because you think it might get better but because you want to see how bad it will get.
As I put above, Stormy Nights not only meets all of these prerequisites but served as a major inspiriation for most of them. Hence I pledge Stormy Nights should be delegated to the bottom rung of the bottom rung and called ONE OF THE WORST MOVIES OF ALL TIME.
Even when viewing this movie at 3:00 a.m. while searching for porn (so as you can guess my standards for film making where already lowered) this movie still came off as a joke puilled on the viewers.
It just goes to show, if you see a movie starring Shannon Tweed do not go view it. Sure she may have a nice body, but what one must go through to get to see it is not worth it.
