Dear Santa, how are you? I'm not doing so well. There's this really, really bad man, Ebner Frost, who lives up on the hill... He's got these weird people working for him and I think they're gonna do something really bad this Christmas.
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Hulk Hogan. Magic rocks. Santa Claus. An orphanage.
we just rented it last night, and I'd have to say it deserves its high ranking. when we stopped by the rental place to pick it up after calling ahead, the entire staff wanted to meet us, they were all dying of laughter...apparently it hadn't been rented in 6 years.
Anyway, the "plot". Hulk Hogan is some rich guy that likes playing paintball. He beats some people up. while running from the police, he hits his head while wearing a Santa suit. So naturally, when he wakes up, he thinks he's santa. Then he beats some more people up. He winds up at an church orphanage (which has a grand total of three kids) for some reason. Some other bad guy wants the church orphanage destroyed, so Hulk Hogan beats up some henchmen. So the kids take Hogan on a tour of the catacombs (and of course a California church would have catacombs). while there, they discover a vault containing....glowing, magic rocks. It starts getting weird after that.
The best joke of the night while watching the movie: "Can you imagine the writers' meeting while coming up with this plot? Writer 1: But WHY does the villain want to destroy the orphanage? pause Writer 2: Two words: magic minerals.
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