Mama Klump: Sherman, I think I do remember hearing something on TV about colon cleansin'. They say everyone should have one. I'm thinkin' about gettin' me an appointment and go down and get my colon cleansed thoroughly.
Papa Klump: You want your colon cleansed? Fine, I'm gonna clean mine.
[lets a loud fart, and Ernie Klump Jr. laughs harder and harder]
Papa Klump: There. Now my colon is clean. I'm talking squeaky clean.
Mama Klump: Cletus, that is disgusting. We're tryin' to have a meal and you wanna start breaking gas. Don't break gas and destroy our meal.
Papa Klump: Don't tell me to stop! You're the one that brought up colon cleansin' and all that mess!
Mama Klump: I did not say anything about breakin' gas! I said I was going to get my colon cleaned.
Papa Klump: Don't you talk about putting a tube up somebody's ass, but I can't break wind.
Mama Klump: I didn't say nothing about putting no hose up nobody's ass. Cletus, I said...
Papa Klump: What you think a colonic is? You think you're gonna run your asshole by the car wash?
[Ernie Jr. starts choking from eating and out-of-control laughter]
Mama Klump: You're choking the baby.
Papa Klump: As long as I pay the bills, I do what I want at this table. Case in point.
[lets another loud fart]
Grandma Klump: Who's that calling my name?
Mama Klump: Yeah, I'll call you up if your name is...
[farts in finishing his sentence, then laughs in mockery]
Grandma Klump: Keep insulting me.
[picks up a knife]
Grandma Klump: I'll toss this between the crack of your ass.
Papa Klump: Yeah. You know, I can go all night.
[lets another loud fart]
Mama Klump: Keep farting. I hope you fart until your asshole falls out.
[Cletus lets another fart, Ernie Sr laughs loudly and then Ernie Jr. manages to follow along]
Mama Klump: Oh, my baby too!
[Cletus lets another loud fart that this time sounds wet]
Papa Klump: Oops! Now, see what you made me do?
[starts running away clutching his pants]
Papa Klump: Goddamn it, I messed up my pants!
Ernie Klump: Damn, Daddy. You rotten.
Mama Klump: You've got to clean 'em yourself!
