Kingpin (1996) Poster


Bill Murray: Ernie McCracken



  • [Roy Munson is getting ready for his turn to bowl] 

    Ernie McCracken : It all comes down to this roll. Roy Munson, a man-child, with a dream to topple bowling giant Ernie McCracken. If he strikes, he's the 1979 Odor-Eaters Champion. He's got one foot in the frying pan and one in the pressure cooker. Believe me, as a bowler, I know that right about now, your bladder feels like an overstuffed vacuum cleaner bag and your butt is kinda like an about-to-explode bratwurst.

    Roy : Hey. Do you mind? I wasn't talking when you were bowling.

    Ernie McCracken : Was I talking out loud? Was I? Sorry. Good luck.

  • 1979 Waitress : Tanqueray and Tab.

    Ernie McCracken : Keep 'em comin', sweets, I got a long drive. Do me a favor, will you? Would you mind washing off that perfume before you come back to our table?

  • Ernie McCracken : The Munson.

    Roy : Big Ern. Long time.

    Ernie McCracken : I'll say. Probably a year for every topping on the table. I heard a horrible rumor...

    Ernie McCracken : [looks at Roy's prosthetic rubber hand]  Oh, creepy! I'm sorry. You know, for the first couple years, I felt responsible. How you been otherwise?

    Roy : You know, in the last 17 years, a day hasn't gone by that I haven't thought about what I'd say to you if I ever ran into you again.

    Ernie McCracken : I bet!

    Ernie McCracken : [notices Claudia]  Hello.

  • Ernie McCracken : You're on a gravy train with biscuit wheels.

  • Ernie McCracken : Hi... not you... hi.

  • Ernie McCracken : It's a small world when you've got unbelievable tits Roy.

  • Ernie McCracken : Jonathan, run a fly pattern all the way to the goal line.

    Ernie McCracken : [he snaps the mom's skirt]  Tennessee! Kentucky! Find the meat! Uh, deeper, Jonathan.

  • Roy : This feels weird. Are you sure this is legal?

    Ernie McCracken : I don't know. It's fun though, isn't it?

  • Ernie McCracken : One more time, sweetness.

  • Bowling Priest : You see, bowling for money... that's my only vice.

    Cocktail Waitress : Here's your drink.

    Bowling Priest : Thanks sugar

    [takes drink from a double bourbon on the rocks and pats waitress' behind] 

    Bowling Priest : . Okay, two vices.

    Ernie McCracken : That's still very good.

  • Roy : Double or nothing I can pick up that spare. I think I can do it.

    Ernie McCracken : It's a 6-7-10. You'll pick up that spare the same day my hair starts falling out.

  • Ernie McCracken : Sometimes a bowler just has to face the music.

  • Roy : [to the Bowling Priest]  Give us a chance to win our money back.

    Ernie McCracken : Are you crazy?

    [to the Priest] 

    Ernie McCracken : Padre, how much are you into us for already?

    Bowling Priest : Uh, three-hundred and fifty.

    Ernie McCracken : $350. That's a landau roof and power steering down the drain. Could be in your pocket right now. Let's go.

    Roy : Double or nothing I can pick up that spare. I think I can do it.

    Ernie McCracken : That's the 6-7-10. You'll pick up that spare the same day my hair starts falling out. Come on, let's get outta here.

    Roy : I can do this.

    Ernie McCracken : For $700? No way. No. No way. For $700.

    [grabs the money out of Roy's pocket] 

    Ernie McCracken : What have you got here? Fifteen-hundred. For $1500. Guys, you want some of the "action", as he calls it.

    Bowling Priest : [to the hustlers]  Come on, you chickenshits. I'm good for the money, put up my share.

    Ernie McCracken : Now, Mr. Bigshot! Mr. "I wear my pants high and I pick up every spare... drunk or sober!"

    Beaver Bowl Hustler : Alright, we'll take that bet.

    Ernie McCracken : Fine, my friend, my so-called friend. Take your silly little ball and make your silly little spare... Or miss it!

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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