- [Rod has just told Jerry he will keep him as his agent]
- Jerry Maguire: That's, that's great. I'm very... happy.
- Rod Tidwell: Are you listenin'?
- Jerry Maguire: Yes!
- Rod Tidwell: That's what I'm gonna do for you: God bless you, Jerry. But this is what you gonna do for me. You listenin', Jerry?
- Jerry Maguire: Yeah, what, what, what can I do for you, Rod? You just tell me what can I do for you?
- Rod Tidwell: It's a very personal, a very important thing. Hell, it's a family motto. Are you ready, Jerry?
- Jerry Maguire: I'm ready.
- Rod Tidwell: I wanna make sure you're ready, brother. Here it is: Show me the money. Oh-ho-ho! SHOW! ME! THE! MONEY! A-ha-ha! Jerry, doesn't it make you feel good just to say that! Say it with me one time, Jerry.
- Jerry Maguire: Show you the money.
- Rod Tidwell: Oh, no, no. You can do better than that, Jerry! I want you to say it with you, with meaning, brother! Hey, I got Bob Sugar on the other line; I better hear you he can say it!
- Jerry Maguire: Yeah, yeah, no, no, no. Show you the money.
- Rod Tidwell: No! Not show you! Show me the money!
- Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!
- Rod Tidwell: Yeah! Louder!
- Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!
- Rod Tidwell: Yes, but, brother, you got to yell that shit!
- Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!
- Rod Tidwell: I need to feel you, Jerry!
- Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!
- Rod Tidwell: Jerry, you got to yell!
- Jerry Maguire: [screaming] Show me the money! Show me the money!
- Rod Tidwell: Do you love this black man!
- Jerry Maguire: I love the black man! Show me the money!
- Rod Tidwell: I love black people.
- Jerry Maguire: I love black people!
- Rod Tidwell: Who's your motherfucker, Jerry?
- Jerry Maguire: You're my motherfucker!
- Rod Tidwell: Whatcha gonna do, Jerry?
- Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!
- Rod Tidwell: Unh! Congratulations, you're still my agent.
- Jerry Maguire: [babbling and struggling] I love you. You... you complete me. And I just...
- Dorothy: Shut up,
- [pause]
- Dorothy: just shut up.
- [Pause]
- Dorothy: You had me at "hello". You had me at "hello".
- Sign in Locker Room: Success consists of simply getting up one more time than you fall.
- Dorothy: I love him! I love him for the man he wants to be. And I love him for the man he almost is.
- [last lines]
- Dicky Fox: Hey, I don't have all the answers. In life, to be honest, I failed as much as I have succeeded. But I love my wife. I love my life. And I wish you my kind of success.
- Jerry Maguire: [to Rod] I am out here for you. You don't know what it's like to be ME out here for YOU. It is an up-at-dawn, pride-swallowing siege that I will never fully tell you about, ok?
- Ray: [while in the backseat of their car] Did you know that the human head weighs 8 pounds?
- Jerry Maguire: Did you know that Troy Aikman, in only six years, has passed for 16,303 yards?
- Ray: D'you know that bees and dogs can smell fear?
- Jerry Maguire: Did you know that the career record for hits is 4,256 by Pete Rose who is NOT in the Hall of Fame?
- Ray: D'you know that my next door neighbor has three rabbits?
- Jerry Maguire: I... I can't compete with that!
- Marcee Tidwell: [shouting at Jerry in his office] What do you stand for?
- Dorothy: How about a little piece of integrity in this world that is so full of greed and a lack of honorability that I don't know what to tell my son! Except, "Here. Have a look at a guy who isn't yelling 'Show me the money." Did you know he's broke? He is broke and working for you for free! Broke. Broke, broke, broke. I'm sorry I'm just not as good at the insults as she is.
- Marcee Tidwell: No, that was pretty good.
- Jerry Maguire: The fuckin zoo is closed, Ray.
- Ray: You said fuck.
- Jerry Maguire: Uh... yeah... I...
- Ray: Don't worry. I won't tell.
- [after Tidwell makes a good play on TV with his family watching]
- Tyson Tidwell: Yeah! That's my mo-fo!
- Marcee Tidwell: [gasps]
- Tyson Tidwell: [suddenly guilty] Oops.
- Marcee Tidwell: Uh-uh. Come here.
- Tyson Tidwell: [does, a bit scared]
- Marcee Tidwell: How about you be the first man in the family to stop using that phrase, and then maybe we'll let you live.
- Rod Tidwell: I feel for you, man. But a real man wouldn't shoplift the pootie from a single mom.
- Jerry Maguire: I didn't shoplift the pootie.
- [Rod gives him a long Look]
- Jerry Maguire: All right. I shoplifted the pootie.
- Jerry Maguire: [over the phone] I will not rest until I have you holding a Coke, wearing your own shoe, playing a Sega game *featuring you*, while singing your own song in a new commercial, *starring you*, broadcast during the Superbowl, in a game that you are winning, and I will not *sleep* until that happens. I'll give you fifteen minutes to call me back.
- Jerry Maguire: [to Dorothy] We live in a cynical world. A cynical world. And we work in a business of tough competitors. I love you. You... complete me.
- Rod Tidwell: [while leaving the stadium after a game] Maybe you don't. Because it's not just the money I deserve. It's not just the "coin." It's the... - "the kwan".
- Jerry Maguire: That's your word?
- Rod Tidwell: Yeah, man, it means love, respect, community... and the dollars too. The package. The kwan.
- Jerry Maguire: But how did you get "kwan?"
- Rod Tidwell: I got there from "coin," dude. Coin, coin... kwaaaan.
- Sign in Locker Room: Dig the well before you are thirsty.
- Jerry Maguire: [after having been fired] Don't worry, I'm not gonna do what you all think I'm gonna do, which is, you know, FLIP OUT!
- Jerry Maguire: [after having been fired] But if anybody else wants to come with me, this moment will be the ground floor of something real and fun and inspiring and true in this godforsaken business and we will do it together! Who's coming with me besides... "Flipper" here?
- Sign in Locker Room: A positive anything is better than a negative nothing.
- Laurel: [after Marrying her sister without considering it thoroughly] You fuck this up, I'll kill you!
- Jerry Maguire: I'm glad we had this talk.
- Dorothy: On the surface, everything seems fine. I've got this great guy. And he loves my kid. And he sure does like me a lot. And I can't live like that. It's not the way I'm built.
- Jerry Maguire: [while on a plane] What are you doing with me, Rod?
- Rod Tidwell: Why?
- Jerry Maguire: I'm finished, I'm fucked. Twenty-four hours ago, man, I was hot! Now... I'm a cautionary tale. You see this jacket I'm wearing, you like it? Because I don't really need it. Because I'm cloaked in failure! I lost the number one draft picked the night before the draft! Why? Let's recap: because a hockey player's kid made me feel like a superficial jerk. I ate two slices of bad pizza, went to bed and grew a conscience!
- Rod Tidwell: Well, boo-fucking-hoo.
- Avery Bishop: There is no real loyalty.
- Jerry Maguire: None.
- Avery Bishop: And the first person who told me that, Jerry Maguire, was you.
- Jerry Maguire: I think I was trying to sleep with you at the time.
- Avery Bishop: Well, it worked.
- Rod Tidwell: [over the phone] I am a valuable commodity! I go across the middle! I see a dude coming at me, trying to kill me, I tell myself "Get killed. Catch the ball!' BOO YA! Touchdown! I make miracles happen!
- Jerry Maguire: Rod...
- Rod Tidwell: I'm from Arizona, Jerry! I broke Arizona records! I went to Arizona State! I'm a Sun Devil, man!
- Jerry Maguire: And now you want Arizona dollars?
- Rod Tidwell: Exaaaacctly!
- Jerry Maguire: Have you ever gotten the feeling that you aren't completely embarassed yet, but you glimpse tomorrow's embarrassment?
- [Jerry and Dorothy are in the elevator and a hearing impaired couple gets on. The man of the couple starts talking with his hands, then they get off]
- Jerry Maguire: I wonder what he just said.
- Dorothy: My favorite aunt is hearing impaired. He just said "You complete me".
- Jerry Maguire: [Jerry Maguire is lying in bed one morning when suddenly the radio comes on and wakes him up with a jolt after having slept with Dorothy the night before]
- [flash to Dickey Fox in his office]
- Dicky Fox: I love the mornings! I clap my hands every morning and say, 'This is gonna be a great day!'
- [flash back to Jerry Maguire who accidentally steps on a toy]
- Jerry Maguire: [mutters] I don't believe this. How'd I get myself into this?
- Jerry Maguire: I have a question for you, Rod: are we really friends?
- Rod Tidwell: Why not?
- Jerry Maguire: I mean, because, friends can tell each other anything if we have our friends hats on, right?
- Rod Tidwell: I think so.
- Jerry Maguire: All right. I'll tell you why you don't have your ten million dollars yet. Right now, you are a paycheck player. You play with your head, not your heart. In your personal life, heart. But when you get on the field, it's all about what you didn't get, who's to blame, who under threw the pass, who's got the contract you don't, who's not giving you your love. You know what? That is not what inspires people. That is *not* what inspires people. Just shut up and play the game. Play it from your heart, and you know what? I will show you the quan. And that's the truth, man! That's the truth. Can you handle it? It's just a question between friends, you know? Oh, and when they call you "shrimp", *I'm* the one who defends you!
- Rod Tidwell: I don't want to be friends no more.
- Jerry Maguire: Fine.
- Rod Tidwell: And quit using that word, "quan", that's my word!
- Jerry Maguire: I'll see you in L.A.
- Rod Tidwell: No heart... no heart?
- [shouts]
- Rod Tidwell: I'm all heart, motherfucker!
- Jerry Maguire: [to Matt Cushman] I'm still sort of moved by your "My word is stronger than oak" thing.
- Rod Tidwell: [over the phone] Jerry Maguire... How'm I doing? I'm sweating, dude! I'm sweatin' my contract! I'm sweating Bob Sugar calling me, telling me I'm missing the big endorsements by being with you! THAT'S how I'm doing - I'm sweating, dude!
- Marcee Tidwell: [upon seeing the fax sent to Jerry's office] 1.5 million? Man, we owe more than that!