William H. Macy: Jerry Lundegaard
Jerry Lundegaard : You're darn tootin'!
Jerry Lundegaard : Well, that's it then. Here are the keys.
Carl Showalter : No, that's not it, Jerry.
Jerry Lundegaard : Huh?
Carl Showalter : The new vehicle plus $40,000.
Jerry Lundegaard : Yah, the deal was the car first then the $40,000 as if it was the ransom. I thought Shep told you that.
Carl Showalter : Shep didn't tell us much, Jerry. Except that you were gonna be here at 7:30.
Jerry Lundegaard : Yah, I'm sorry. That was a mix up.
Carl Showalter : Yeah, you already said that.
Jerry Lundegaard : Yah, but this is not a whole pay in advance deal. You see, I give you a brand new vehicle in advance and...
Carl Showalter : I'm not gonna debate you, Jerry.
Jerry Lundegaard : Okay.
Carl Showalter : I'm not gonna sit here and debate.
Carl Showalter : [irately, over the phone] Alright, Jerry, I'm through fuckin' around! You got the fuckin' money?
Jerry Lundegaard : [into the phone] Yeah, I got the money, but... uh...
Carl Showalter : Don't you fuckin' fuck me, Jerry! I want you to get this money to the parking garage at the Dayton Radisson, top level, in 30 minutes, Jerry. We wrap this thing up.
Jerry Lundegaard : Yeah, but...
Carl Showalter : Hey, you're there in 30 minutes, Jerry, or I find you, Jerry, and I shoot you and I shoot your fuckin' wife and I shoot all your fuckin' children and I shoot them all in the back of their little fuckin' heads! You got it?
Jerry Lundegaard : Okay, now you stay away from Scotty, now.
Jerry Lundegaard : [answering the phone] Jerry Lundegaard.
Carl Showalter : [voice over the phone] Alright, Jerry, you got the phone to yourself? Are you alone?
Jerry Lundegaard : [into the phone] Well, yeah.
Carl Showalter : [voice] You know who this is?
Jerry Lundegaard : Well, yeah, I got an idea. How's that Ciera working out for ya?
Carl Showalter : [voice] Circumstances have changed, Jerry.
Jerry Lundegaard : Well, what do ya mean?
Carl Showalter : [voice] Things have changed, circumstances, Jerry... force majeure, acts of God.
Jerry Lundegaard : How's Jean?
Carl Showalter : [puzzled] Who's Jean?
Jerry Lundegaard : My wife! What the-?
Carl Showalter : [voice] Oh... right. She's alright, but there's a few people in Brainerd who aren't so okay, I'll tell you that.
Jerry Lundegaard : What the heck are ya talking about? Let's just finish this deal up here.
Carl Showalter : [voice] Blood has been shed, Jerry.
Jerry Lundegaard : What the heck do ya mean?
Carl Showalter : [voice] Three people, in Brainerd... are dead.
Jerry Lundegaard : Oh, jeez!
Carl Showalter : [voice] That's right, we need more money.
Jerry Lundegaard : What the heck are ya talking about? What do you fellas have yourself mixed up in?
Carl Showalter : [voice] Never mind that. We need more money...
Jerry Lundegaard : [interrupting] This was supposed to be a no rough stuff type deal!
Carl Showalter : [angry] DON'T EVER INTERRUPT ME, JERRY! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Jerry Lundegaard : Well, I'm sorry, but I just... I don't...
Carl Showalter : [voice] I'm not gonna debate with you on this, Jerry! I'm not gonna debate! Three people in Brainerd were killed last night. We now want the entire 80,000!
Jerry Lundegaard : Oh, for chris'sake here!
Jerry Lundegaard : The heck do ya mean?
Jerry Lundegaard : I'm, uh, Jerry Lundegaard.
Carl Showalter : You're Jerry Lundegaard?
Jerry Lundegaard : Ya. Shep Proudfoot said...
Carl Showalter : Shep said you'd be here at 7:30. What gives, man?
Jerry Lundegaard : Shep said 8:30.
Carl Showalter : We've been sitting here an hour. He's
[motioning to Gaer]
Carl Showalter : peed three times already.
Jerry Lundegaard : I'm sure sorry. Shep told me 8:30. It was a mix-up, I guess.
Jerry Lundegaard : I told ya. We haven't had any vehicles go missing.
Marge Gunderson : [cheerful tone] Okay! But are ya sure? 'Cause I mean, how do you know? Do you do a count, or what kind of a routine do you have here?
Jerry Lundegaard : [growing uncomfortable with the questioning] Ma'am, I answered your question!
Marge Gunderson : [long pause] I'm sorry, sir?
Jerry Lundegaard : Ma'am, I answered your question! I answered the darned... I'm cooperatin' here!
Marge Gunderson : [serious tone] Sir, you have no call to get snippy with me. I'm just doing my job here.
Jerry Lundegaard : I'm... I'm not arguing here! I'm cooperating. So there's no need to... we're doin' all we can here.
Marge Gunderson : Sir, could I talk to Mr. Gustafson?
[Jerry gives her a glassy-eyed look, knowing full well that Gustafson is dead]
Marge Gunderson : Mr. Lundegaard?
Scotty Lundegaard : [finishing supper] May I be excused?
Jerry Lundegaard : Ya done, there?
Scotty Lundegaard : Yah. Can I go out?
Jean Lundegaard : Where ya goin'?
Scotty Lundegaard : Just to McDonalds.
Jerry Lundegaard : Be back at 9:30.
Wade Gustafson : He just ate - he didn't finish! He's goin' to McDonalds instead of finishin' here.
Jean Lundegaard : He sees his friends there. It's okay.
Wade Gustafson : It's okay, MAC-Donalds. Heh. Whaddya think they do there? They don't drink milkshakes, I assure you.
Jean Lundegaard : It's okay, Dad!
Jean Lundegaard : [reprimanding Scotty, who is eating and watching TV, paying no attention] I am talking about your potential. You're not a 'C' student.
Scotty Lundegaard : Uh huh...
Jean Lundegaard : Yet you're gettin' 'C' grades. It's the disparity here that concerns your dad and me.
Scotty Lundegaard : [mumbling] Mmmm.
Jean Lundegaard : Ya know what a disparity is?
Scotty Lundegaard : [attentive now] Yeah!
Jean Lundegaard : Okay, then! That's why we don't want ya goin' out for hockey!
Scotty Lundegaard : [upset] Oh, come on! What's the big deal? It's just an hour a... what's the big deal?
Jean Lundegaard : [phone rings] Hold on.
Jean Lundegaard : Hullo? Oh, hi, Dad! Yah! He's here, I'll catch him for ya!
Jean Lundegaard : [to Jerry] Hon, it's Dad.
Scotty Lundegaard : [to his father, entering the room] Look, Dad, there's no fucking way...
Jerry Lundegaard : [putting his hand over the phone's mouthpiece] Hey, let's watch that language there!
[Jerry and an irate customer argue over a sealant that the customer had previously indicated he didn't want, after Jerry has gone off to pretend to talk to his boss]
Jerry Lundegaard : Well, we've never done this before. But seeing as it's special circumstances and all, he says I can knock a hundred dollars off that Trucoat.
Irate Customer : [stunned that Jerry still intends to charge him for something he didn't order] One hundred... You lied to me, Mr. Lundegaard. You're a bald-faced liar. A... fucking liar.
Irate Customer : [to his wife, frustrated] Where's my goddamn checkbook? Let's get this over with.
Reilly Diefenbach : [voice] Mr. Lundegaard? This is Reilly Diefenbach from GMAC. How are you this morning?
Jerry Lundegaard : [into the phone] Real good. How are you?
Reilly Diefenbach : [voice] Pretty good, Mr. Lundegaard. I must say, you are damn hard to get a hold of over the phone.
Jerry Lundegaard : Well, we're pretty darn busy here, but that's the way we like it.
Reilly Diefenbach : [voice] Well, that's for sure. The reason why I've been trying to reach you is that these last financing documents that you sent over to us... I can't read the serial numbers of the vehicles...
Jerry Lundegaard : [getting nervous] Yah, well I already got the money. The loans are in place. I already got the...
Reilly Diefenbach : [voice] Yah, the 320 thousand... you got the money last month from us.
Jerry Lundegaard : So, we're all set then.
Reilly Diefenbach : [voice] Yah, but the vehicles that you're borrowing on, I just can't read the serial numbers on your application. Maybe if you could just read...
Jerry Lundegaard : Yah, but the deal's already done. I've already got the money.
Reilly Diefenbach : [voice] Yah, but we have an audit here and I just have to know that these vehicles that your financing with this money that they really exist.
Jerry Lundegaard : [getting more nervous] Well... they exist all right.
Reilly Diefenbach : [voice] Well, I'm pretty sure they do, but I can't read the serial numbers here. Maybe if you could read the numbers to me on the first...
Jerry Lundegaard : Yah... well... see... I don't have them in front of me. Why don't I just fax you over a copy?
Reilly Diefenbach : [voice] No, no, a fax is no good. That's what I have here and I can't read the darn thing.
Jerry Lundegaard : Yah, I'll have my girl sent you a copy.
Reilly Diefenbach : [voice] Okay, that's good. But I need to tell you that if I can't correlate these numbers with those specific vehicles, then I'm gonna have to call back all that money.
Jerry Lundegaard : How much money did you say that was?
Reilly Diefenbach : [voice] $320,000. I have to correlate that money with the cars that it's being lent on.
Jerry Lundegaard : Okay, no problem. I'll just fax...
Reilly Diefenbach : [voice] No, no...
Jerry Lundegaard : I mean send it right over. I'll shoot it right over. Good bye.
Carl Showalter : [voice] Three people were killed last night in Brainerd. We're in a load of trouble, Jerry. I'm comin' there tomorrow. You have the money ready by then.
Jerry Lundegaard : [into the phone] Now, we had a deal. A deal's a deal.
Carl Showalter : [voice] Is it, Jerry? Why don't you ask those three poor souls in Brainerd if a deal's a deal? Go ahead, ask them!
Jerry Lundegaard : [into the phone] The heck do ya mean?
Carl Showalter : [mimicking Jerry mockingly] "The heckya mean?" I'll call you tomorrow!
Jerry Lundegaard : Well, heck! If you wanna... If you wanna play games here, I'm working with ya on this thing here, but... Okay!
[slams table as he stands up]
Jerry Lundegaard : I'll do a damn lot count!
Marge Gunderson : Sir, right now?
Jerry Lundegaard : Yeah! Right now. You're darn tootin'! If it's so damned important to ya!
Jerry Lundegaard : You see, my wife's dad is real well off.
Carl Showalter : So, why don't you just ask him for the money?
Gaear Grimsrud : Or your fucking wife, you know.
Carl Showalter : Or your fuckin' wife, Jerry?
Jerry Lundegaard : Well, it's all part of... look, the thing is they don't know that I'm in trouble. My wife and father-in-law don't know I need money. And if they did... I still won't get it. Okay? These are personal matters.
Carl Showalter : Personal matters? Okay, you're tasking us to perform this mission, but you won't tell us what... oh, fuck it. Let's have a look at the Ciera.
Jean Lundegaard : [chopping vegetables] Hiya, hon! Welcome back! How was Fargo?
Jerry Lundegaard : Yah, real good now.
Jean Lundegaard : Dad's here.
[Jerry's mood changes as he hears this news]
Jerry Lundegaard : Is he stayin' for supper then?
Jean Lundegaard : I dunno... I think so. Dad?
Wade Gustafson : What?
Jean Lundegaard : [thick Minnesota accent] You stayin' for supperrrrr?
Wade Gustafson : Yah!
Jerry Lundegaard : [Jerry just got off the phone with a furious Carl who demanded the entire $80,000 instead of the $40,000 that was promised after him and Gaear killed three people in Brainerd when the phone goes again] Yah!
Reilly Diefenbach : [over the phone] Jerome Lundegaard?
Jerry Lundegaard : [slightly friendlier] Yah.
Reilly Diefenbach : [over the phone] This is Reilly Diefenbach from GMAC. Sir, I've not received those vehicle ID's you promised.
Jerry Lundegaard : Yah, I... those are in the mail.
Reilly Diefenbach : [over the phone] That very well may be. I must inform you, however, that absent the receipt of those numbers by tomorrow afternoon I will have to refer this matter to our legal department.
Jerry Lundegaard : Yah.
Reilly Diefenbach : [over the phone] My patience is at an end.
Jerry Lundegaard : Yah.
Reilly Diefenbach : [over the phone] Good day, Sir.
Jerry Lundegaard : Yah.
[Jerry hangs up the phone and then suddenly throws things off his desk in a fit of rage]
Irate Customer : We sat right here, in this room, and went over this and over this.
Jerry Lundegaard : Yeah, but that TruCoat...
Irate Customer : I sat right here and said I didn't want any TruCoat.
Jerry Lundegaard : Yeah, but I'm saying that TruCoat. You don't get it, you get oxidation problems. It'll cost you a heck of a lot more than $500.
Irate Customer : You're sitting there. You're talking in circles. You're talking like we didn't go over this already.
Jerry Lundegaard : Yeah, but this TruCoat...
Irate Customer : We had a deal here for nineteen-five. You sat there and darned if you didn't tell me you'd get me this car, these options, without the sealant for nineteen-five.
Jerry Lundegaard : All right, I'm not saying I didn't...
Irate Customer : You called me 20 minutes ago and said you had it ready to make delivery! You says, "Come on down and get it." And, and, and here you are and you're wasting my time and my wife's time, and I'm paying nineteen-five for this vehicle here!
Jerry Lundegaard : All right. I'll talk to my boss.
[gets up and turns before leaving]
Jerry Lundegaard : See, they install that TruCoat at the factory. There's nothing we can do about that.
[Customer ready to shout]
Jerry Lundegaard : but I'll talk to my boss.
Irate Customer : These guys here. These guys. It's always the same! It's always more!
Wade Gustafson : What kind of finders fee are you looking for?
Jerry Lundegaard : Huh?
Stan Grossman : The financials are pretty through. The only thing we don't know is your fee.
Jerry Lundegaard : My fee? Wade, what the heck you talking about?
Wade Gustafson : Stan and I are okay. We gotta load in. But we never talked about your fee for bringing it to us.
Jerry Lundegaard : Wade, no. I was bringing you this deal for you to loan me the money to put in. It's my deal here, see?
Stan Grossman : Jerry, we thought you were bringing us an investment.
Jerry Lundegaard : Yah, right.
Stan Grossman : But you're saying that... what are you saying?
Wade Gustafson : You're saying that we put in all the money and you collect when it pays off?
[both Wade and Stan laugh]
Jerry Lundegaard : [getting nervous; stammering again] No... it's just... I'd pay you back the principle and interest. Heck, I'd go... one over prime.
Stan Grossman : We're not a bank, Jerry.
Wade Gustafson : If I wanted a bank interest loan on $750,000 I'd go to Midwest Federal and and talk to old Bill Deal.
Stan Grossman : Does he work at North Star now?
Jerry Lundegaard : No, no, it just... I... I don't need a finders fee. Finder's fee that's... what? Ten percent? Heck, that's not gonna do it for me. I need the principle!
Stan Grossman : Jerry, we're not going to just give you $750,000 of our money.
Wade Gustafson : What the heck were your thinking? If I am getting bank interest, I want complete security. Heck, FDIC. I don't see nothing like that here.
Jerry Lundegaard : [getting desperate] Yah, but... it's... I... just... I guarantee all your money back with interest when the deal starts paying. You have my word.
Wade Gustafson : I'm not talking about your damn word here, Jerry! What the hell were you thinking? Jesus! Look... I don't want to cut you out of the loop here. This here is a good deal. I assume that if you are not interested in getting a finders fee, you won't mind if we move on with the deal independently.