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The 3-Banana Scale
smithqk24 August 2004
Despite persistent talk of Hollywood's "Golden Age of Cinema", movie-making did not truly reach its zenith until 1996. The movie was "Ed", not to be confused with the Whoopie Goldberg abortion of celluloid "Eddie", that premiered during that same year. In "Ed" award-winning documentary filmmaker Bill Couturie employs the technique of cinema verite that lets the camera capture a true slice of sporting Americana... a monkey playing minor league baseball.

"Ed" is not merely, as Brad Laidman of filmthreat.com raved, "[a movie] some would say that kids may like," but rather the examination of the symbiotic relationship between man and monkey. Despite their outward appearances, can a clear distinction really be made between the monkey Ed and his human counterpart, Matt LeBlanc? In the film, excel at baseball (although the monkey is the star), both delight in flatulence, and both have giant cartoon teeth. And wonderfully, when the film reaches it's glorious climax, it is the monkey that most clearly embodies our notions of humanity, imbibing LeBlanc with the confidence to again throw his curve-ball, the pitch that eventually paves his way into the Big Leagues (this is despite LeBlanc's supposed ability to throw a 125 mph fastball).

Although there may be some factual inaccuracies in the film (in a conversation with LeBlanc, a teammate tells him that Carlton Fisk was a flop in Boston, but went on to find greatness in Chicago), the true essence of "Ed" is in it's spirit... and in the fact that it has a monkey as it's star. Watching this film for the first time, I realized that I was examining the very embodiment of greatness. This being the case, "Ed" became the basis on which I would judge all future films. Forget Siskel and Ebert (especially Siskel) with their thumbs... forget Leonard Maltin with his stars... and forget A.O. Scott with his homosexual, liberal bias. The only scale worthy of film review is the Banana Scale.

Based on 3 bananas (because really, who needs five?) this scale cuts through all the other ridiculous criteria such as plot, character development, acting and direction commonly used by other critics in their evaluations, and judges movies based on three essential elements. These elements are:

1. Does the movie contain a character from "Friends"?

2. Does the movie contain a monkey?

3. Is the movie about baseball?

As you probably realize, there is only one film in history that contains all these elements, and, therefore, it is the greatest movie ever made. "Citizen Kane" by comparison, the film often mislabeled as the greatest, contains none of the essential elements of greatness. Therefore, it is hardly worth mentioning. But a movie such as "M.V.P.: Most Valuable Primate", centers it's story around a chimpanzee that plays for a youth hockey team. This is one of those interesting films that strives for greatness, but lacks certain characteristics that would've put it over the top. One may ask what director Robert Vince was thinking when he cast Rick Ducommun in the role of Coach Marlow when he could certainly have had David Schwimmer. And instead of hockey, why not youth baseball? But decisions such as these have presented film buffs with interesting fodder for years, wondering what could have been if, say, O.J. Simpson had in fact played the title role in "The Terminator", or if instead of Leonardo DiCaprio, director James Cameron had cast Dustin Diamond, as he originally planned? But judging on it's finished product, "MVP" receives 1 1/2 bananas... one for containing a monkey, and 1/2 for being about a sport other than baseball. Not bad, judging against the current, deplorable standards of Hollywood.

Based on it's greatness, it comes as a surprise to most that an "Ed" sequel has never been attempted. I have always assumed that the movie has become a victim of it's own greatness. Much like Roberto Clemente, who walked away during the apex of his career, knowing that he had reached a level of greatness that would doom his future endeavors to failure in the public eye by comparison, "Ed" director Bill Couturie knows that another installment would be severely overshadowed by it's predecessor. But taking matters into my own hands, I penned a letter to Mr. Couturie, outlining my ideas for a suitable sequel. The idea goes like this:

Both LeBlanc's character and Ed the monkey are playing in the major leagues... one for a team in the National league, the other for a team in the American. By coincidence, the two teams meet in the World Series. Although LeBlanc is now recognized as one of the greatest pitchers of all time, he is no match for the hitting prowess of Ed the monkey. And when they square of, mano-e-monkeyo, Ed the monkey is forced to make a decision whether to allow his friend LeBlanc to strike him out, or propel his team to victory by hitting a home-run, which he can do at will. I argue that this will be the first film that allows it's viewers to really get inside the mind of the monkey... to see his thought process, to witness what makes the monkey tick. By the time the last pitch is thrown, there won't be a dry eye in the house... and those tears will be both tears of laughter and tears of empathy... a rare combination.

Although I haven't heard back from Couturie as of yet, I expect a response before too long. Ideas like this don't come around everyday. If not Couturie, I imagine a Hollywood heavyweight director will jump on board.

From what I understand, Kubrick was considering optioning my treatment before his untimely passing. Although the idea was intriguing, I thought that perhaps Kubrick would understate the levity in a project such as this... opting for lingering shots, subtle dialog, and a brooding score by Beethoven, instead of the sped up action scenes, screaming monkey dialog, and circus music score that I believe the film "Ed II: Monkey in the Majors" calls for.
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This one gets my vote for "Worst Ever"
statman-514 August 2004
I was running a movie theater when this turkey came out. We got to have a special sneak preview of it, which was rare for my theater. (a two screen theater in a city of less than 15,000 people)

I put the film together and decided to watch it to make sure all the splices were right. Fifteen minutes into it my four year old son was completely ignoring the film, and my father and I looked at each other and pondered how this was part of our life that we would never get back. If you think the kid had a short attention span, I would have to inform you that this is the same kid that watched Lion King from start to finish every night for a month two years before this.

If your idea of entertainment is monkeys farting - this is your film. If you're looking for something slightly more entertaining with animals, go watch Babe instead.
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Dire children's movie that contains every cliché in the book
bob the moo6 July 2003
Jack Cooper is a pitcher on a minor league baseball team, hoping for a crack at the majors. Sadly his pitching, so perfect in practice, is way off in the games. Things get worse for him when the team drafts in a new mascot – a monkey, Ed, and Cooper is selected to room with him. However Ed turns out to much more valuable to both the team and Cooper.

This film was shown in the UK at 11:30 at night! This was why I had taped it as I assumed it was more for adults than children, after all Clint Eastwood had done a couple of films with a monkey in it – so why not? Watching I was left baffled as to why it was on so late at night when clearly the only people who would want to see it are children who will laugh at the sight of a monkey eating ice cream and dressing up. The plot is pointless here and no child would care anyway – if you can't guess what will happen at the end then you are a fool! Will Cooper ever pitch again? What side will the coin fall on? Will Cooper and Ed bond? All these are givens and there is no enjoyment from watching the plot unfold exactly as you know it would.

While we're talking about lazy writing, how about the fact that every scene is a cliché. We have the monkey dressing up and causing mayhem etc – every scene feels like it is a template to which a baseball film has been applied! None of it is funny (for adults anyway) and must of it is just puerile – I laughed once and half-laughed another time. The laugh was Cooper saying `oh, I'm gonna spank that monkey' and the half was Ed watching TV and seeing the episode of Friends with a monkey in it. Other than this there is nothing.

Part of the film's problem is that Ed looks like two things – and neither of them is a likeable monkey. First he never for once looks or moves like anything other than a guy in a monkey suit. Secondly his face and his expressions make him look like a slightly crazy old man – I wondered if children would take to this character or be slightly freaked out by him. Matt LeBlanc plays a character in the mould of Joey – but without the good writers to support him. He plays second fiddle to a monkey and you can see that the confidence and comfort he enjoys in Friends, is absent here. How people like Cobb, Warden and Caviezel must feel watching this is anyone's guess – I suppose they were looking at it being a really big kids movie with the star of Friends, how could they lose?

Overall I found this a rather dire experience. Ed has no personality and looks really creepy and the comedy and plot are both as unimaginative as you'd expect them to be. To be a good kids' film this needed to have a bit of spark to it – instead it brings to mind the fading embers on a dying fire.
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Call me crazy...
BigD724697 April 2001
...but I gave this movie an EIGHT. Now, before you brand me an idiot, please hear me out... "Ed" is one of the worst written, worst made, worst acted movies that I've EVER SEEN. The film's knowledge of the game of baseball is terrible ("Carlton Fisk couldn't buy a hit in Boston...") and it's bizarre, ill-timed special effects sequences will leave you scratching your head. Not to mention the schizo storyline... BUT...and this is a big but...I watched this with a few friends of mine who are movie buffs like myself and we LAUGHED HYSTERICALLY AT HOW BAD IT WAS! It's the "Plan Nine from Outer Space" of the 90s!!!! Therefore, I stand by my 8 rating. Go check out this awful, awful movie and spend a night of laughing out loud at it's ridiculousness!
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It really is a secret stoner movie.....
westcor7 January 2010
Ed, what can you say about this movie that hasn't already been said? As the 3-bannanna reviewer stated, it contains all that is needed in a great movie. 1)Monkeys 2)Baseball 3)Someone from the show 'Friends.' If you pay to watch this movie you are a fool, luckily U-verse had it on for demand for free. Though on second thought, I remembered I did ask for my girlfriend to get it for me on Blu-ray if it ever came out; should a miracle like that ever happen. The reason people didn't find this movie funny, is because everyone thinks its a kid's movie. It's not. It's a movie for someone who just smoked a lot of bud. I laughed so hard at some points I was crying, and literally nothing would be happening except the Monkey farting or doing a flip while catching a ball. This movie would of been a complete disaster if they would have used a real monkey. It still is a disaster of sorts, but it is much funnier with a robotic monkey than the real thing. I have no idea how to even rate this movie, as it obviously is a horrible piece of cinema (OK that gives it too much credit, a horrible piece of film); but at the same time made me laugh more than any movie I can think of in recent history. I will meet in the middle and give it a 5.
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supersocks-632156 April 2015
This movie was purely amazing, it is %100 up there with the greats such as Air Buds , Baetoven 3 , and The God Father.The acting was purely amazing and could truly compare to no other but those listed.This movie also showed my friends and i the true meaning of friendship and family. We also learned some about the great sport of baseball. At times I was busting out laughing others i was crying but at almost all times i was on the edge of my seat waiting to see what happens next to this fun loving monkey . I would suggest this to children and adults of all ages . Inshort this movie was nothing but fantastic with no faults what so ever.
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A cheerleader with a lobotomy would find this film unintelligent.
jackiezee12 June 2002
Oh. My. God.

Sitting through the first thirty minutes of this movie was like getting all of my teeth drilled... twice.

Even little kids couldn't stand it.

Honestly, the entire Air Bud series looks like the Godfather in comparison.
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Ed...what a shame.....
mira198811 February 2008
I first saw this movie while I was living as an Italian immigrant in New Zeland at the age of 10 in 1998...it was a movie that sky cinema proposed,so as a child I couldn't miss the movie of a chimp that saved a Californian minor league team. Any of my future ambitions was so much disappointing. Here we are now in 2008,exactly 10 years after, while i'm searching strange movies on IMDb for a good laugh,that this ''movie'' appears to my memories again and a long chill goes through my spine. I had to write a comment at this awful movie. My mind goes to all the unfortunate people that payed the cinema ticket to watch this bad copy of a movie,and to all the producers that have the face to propose such a shameful movie.I remember that back in '96 this movie was publicized as much as ''Slepeers'' and Robin Williams ''Jack''int he TV movie trailers,just to make the point. If you find funny the idea of a chimpanzee that farts and makes the poor Leblache eat dog food this is the movie for you. I think that the vote up reported is very generous.
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Another Crude 'Family Film' That Stinks
ccthemovieman-110 August 2007
It looks like everyone here at IMDb is pretty unanimous about this film - it stinks! And, as a movie billed as "family film," it's an insult and a bad joke.

Yeah, there are some likable characters in here and I would be lying if I didn't admit I laughed at a number of gags but I (along with two parents) was embarrassed showing this advertised "kids' film" to their children, only to hear Jesus's name used in vain twice within six minutes and then hear all kinds of sexual innuendos by the little girl in the movie. A little girl once commenting about a guy having a "great butt" and another time asking another if he's gay. Come on! Also, you can tag on the normal amount of what it called "bathroom humor." It's everywhere here.

What the film is, basically, is garbage, despite the baseball angle. I usually enjoy baseball films, but I can't classify this as such. Parents: do your homework before watching some of these "family" films because some of them are the normal crude comedies of today's Hollywood.
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Show Me The Monkey ....
Theo Robertson2 July 2003
.... On second thoughts don`t bother because this is ape sh*t . I can imagine the producers got together and said something like " Monkeys . Everyone loves monkeys . Parents love monkeys , children love monkeys , Michael Jackson loves monkeys so lets make a family film about a monkey "

I know films with monkeys can be box office gold like PLANET OF THE APES ( The original one not the dumb remake ) but that`s because it had a great story , or the Clint Eastwood movies with Clyde but that`s because they were funny with great gags ( Many of which involved the hell`s angels ) but there`s nothing here that made me laugh probably because I hate slapstick . Strangely there isn`t even moments of mawkish sentiment either , though the producers do try this - And fail - with one scene with Ed in a hospital bed. You make a movie about a cheeky monkey and there`s no laughs or tears involved ! Now that`s amazing

In the 1950s rocket scientists sent monkeys out into space . After seeing ED you`ll be disgusted that they don`t do it anymore
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NODAK-312 April 2001
No baseball fan can like this movie. Watching bad effects of a monkey playing the game totally makes this film unwatchable. The person below me said it was a good film, so I took a double take only to find out they said it was so bad that it's hilarious. That could be true I guess. Another side "plot" is the monkey trying to help the bumbling Matt LeBlanc with a girl, which is even more nauseating than the scenes on the field. I think.
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I think the writers were usin' 'wacky tobacky'--that's the only thing that might explain this plot!
MartinHafer23 January 2010
Even for a kids' movie, the premise to ED is incredibly lame. So lame that it boggles the mind to imagine that this film was made in the first place. I can only assume that the writers and execs at the studio were under the influence of some mind-altering drug while they were watching a re-run of a "Francis the Mule" film or else had loved ones kidnapped in order to force this film to be made. This is the only way you could understand this film. Even the worst of the most contrived Disney films of the 1960s and 70s look like "Gone With the Wind" compared to this!

Matt LeBlanc stars as a guy who has a great pitching arm. However, when his game stinks, the manager punishes him by sending him to pick someone up at the bus stop. That 'someone' turns out to be a baseball playing chimp who is the team's new mascot. When I first saw this chimp, he really looked creepy--and I assume it was just a midget in an ape suit. It looked more realistic than chimps looked in films in 1940, but still looked bizarre and a bit scary! Well, only in a movie would it turn out that the chimp was a fantastic baseball player--with an arm like a rocket AND a thorough knowledge of how to play ball! How all the actors were able to participate in this farce of a film with straight faces is beyond me. Talk about an insane plot! Even small children would find this tough to swallow. However, given that he ultimately is SMARTER than LeBlanc isn't quite as hard to believe (at least in light of his role on "Friends").

Some of the low-points in this dreadful film include frequent fart jokes, snot jokes, Ed and LeBlanc both peeing together at the same toilet, belching, Ed driving a truck at what appears to be 400 mph, more fart jokes and Ed plying dress-up with grandma's clothes. At no point in the film is it clever or does it poke fun of itself (the only way this MIGHT have worked).

Overall, a sorry mess of a film that is so inexplicably dumb that I can't believe it was made in the first place. Practically every cliché known to baseball is in this film and its only entertainment value is for people who want to laugh at the sheer inanity of the movie. Clearly, this film has earned its place on IMDb's Bottom 100 list!
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Monkey Movie Now you've opened a Canapés
Bad_Dog22 June 2008
Foist, A Chimp is not a monkey.

Second, The movie was way beyond bad.

Third, Who invested in such a lemo... bad banana? Fourth, And I have always believed Attack of the Killer Tomato's was the worst. Ed has AKT beat,two knuckle walking opposable thumbs down.

Ed would have done better if they had made a "How Ed was made" trailer and shown us how they stuck a real figit in a Ape suit.

The Monkey shines were bland, no..., they were blasé. The acting wearisome.

This alleged film is a waste of time, and was a waste of someone's money.

Flatulent Chimps, sure to open a big canapés. No animules were harmed in the making of this movie. Except the reputation of honest baseball playing Chimpanzees everywhere.
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The chimp plays ball!
sethn17216 February 2006
Play ball! This movie definitely does not deserve the three strikes treatment! I've seen all those imported sport-playing animal movies (the "Air Bud" flicks; the hockey-playing chimp; they may be all Canadian, but the imports are the best stuff on Earth!), and they are good! "Ed" is a fun, funny, cute flick that warms your hearts. There is no need to give this movie a low rating! Heck, there is no need to give an actor and his chimpanzee a fake, $5 trophy for a bad movie performance! Any movie with an animal playing one type of sport or another is a very clever idea, and all families will appreciate the idea of that as well! P.S. To the short reviewer who thought this movie was like getting your teeth drilled twice: could I meet that cheerleader? :-*
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MovieAddict201613 March 2004
Awful breakout film debut for Joey -- err, Matt LeBlanc -- who has been extremely stereotyped to the degree that he is starting his own post-"Friends" show dealing with his character's ongoing trials and tribulations. How sad.

This one is about a country bum who finds a monkey who can play basebally very well and helps the local team win some games. A.k.a. Air Bud: The Monkey Version.

This has been done to the nth-degree. I'm tired of these sports movies. And why are they ALWAYS with animals?

I can't believe Jack Warden was in this.

0/5 stars.

Not a laugh or amusing, original idea in sight.

  • John Ulmer
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I literally don't think I can ever find the words to describe my feelings.
aaronlangdon9816 March 2019
From the moment I watched this movie on VHS, there wasn't' even any trailers, immediately, it started with the movie. Wasn't anything awful, but I thought it was worth mentioning. I bought this as a complete joke, not thinking much of it, and watched it with my friends, and ed changed our lives.

There's something about the bad acting, the dreadful pacing, the horrible directing, the horrendous editing, that combine into this dreadful, depressing experience. You know that type of person who pretends they heard what you said, and you're both stumbling over each other, pretending you're in sync with the conversation, but in reality, it's a painful moment, that's how I feel when watching this movie.

Scenes go on oddly long, and most of the dialogue feels forced and unnatural, Ed, the monkey himself, is such an awful, unlikable character, and Matt LeBlanc seems bored for the whole movie, actually as a matter of fact, literally everyone seems bored. There's one scene where Ed is on the couch and bends his head down on the floor for something, and it tries to sneak a jump cut in while his leaning down, so when he pops back up, something's on his face, but it's actually noticeable, even on vhs. It literally hurt to experience this moment. I expected to talk a lot about this movie, and go in depth with the plot, but what's the point, it's such a cliched movie to begin with, but it literally fails at feeling like a movie. I've honestly never experience something like this, it all fall apart so well, and not even at a point where it's so bad it's good, but it just feels so inhumane. I would say not to ever watch this movie, but if you get some friends with you and want to feel something for once, watch Ed.
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A masterpiece!
Tuck_Frump2 June 2018
Forget script, forget plot and don't concern yourself with character arc, this movie is about fun. A monkey and man relationship that questions our own desires, pain and spiritual fulfillment is what this fantastic film is about. During a time in the mid nineties when "The English Patient" and "The Shawshank Redemption" were filling movie theatres, "Ed" was overlooked, but now considered a post modern classic. I will call it the "Citizen Kane of man/monkey movies, beating out 'Every Which Way But Loose" and "How To Commit A Marriage'. Matt LeBlanc shows what human evolution is really about as he and his companion join together to accomplish their dreams and show the world that man and monkey can live in harmony.
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A Monkey Plays Baseball
cyrusaazam5 September 2017
This movie has a lot of great things going for it. For one thing, there is a monkey in this movie and the monkey is playing baseball! Just like a human would. Also, there are other things that are good about this movie too probably.

Matt Leblanc is in this movie. You probably remember him as one of the five funniest Friends on "Friends." This is easily his best feature film outside of doing "Friends," if for no other reason than this is the only movie I can think of that he was ever in.

I don't want to spoil anything, and this is the type of movie that will really keep you guessing right up til the end, so I will end my review here. Let me just say that, if you only see one movie where Matt Leblanc plays baseball with a monkey, it should be "Ed!"
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Chimp dung-thought of it sickens me even now!
dwgeary6 August 2001
I had to comment, because this piece of Chimp dung finally replaced "Mannequin 2" as my personal worst movie of all time, as well as replacing "Blame it on the Bellboy" as last movie I physically could not watch all the way through. I made it to the big date, and past "cut week" and the chimp and neighbor girl were doing something with food, but I have no idea just how long the thing would go on. Bad script, bad sports, bad effects (not so much bad digital effects but incomprehensible ones- what was the deal with the dollar signs in the owner's eyes? I know that the guy couldn't act, but still- let him put on his greed face that he'd been practicing in the mirror)

I kept hoping that Matt LeBlanc, who I love on "friends", and liked in "Lost in Space" had agreed to do this before he had a going career, like Jennifer Aniston and "Leprechaun." But there was a scene where the chimp was watching "Friends"! I shudder to think how much LeBlanc must have been paid to be in this bomb. I hope for his sake, it was a lot.

And just one comment on the Chimp outfit- couldn't they have somehow disguised the relative size of its head? I know that there were people under the mask, but with the chimp head on, it looks like the cranium is half again the volume of Matt LeBlanc's! A chimpanzee with a brain that size would certainly be smarter than anybody involved in this film. Oh well. A thoroughly hideous experience, gave me a severe migraine, and remembering it now sickens me.
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fredde-220 August 1999
... my children are laughing. but i do not!
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Absolute Rubbish
brianusmaxis19 February 2001
This weary piece of crap was obviously sold on the Matt LeBlanc(of "Friends" fame) bandwagon and having gotten this jewel in their crown, the makers gave no thought whatsoever to their limp script. The script is mindless and silly and could well have been penned by the monkey of the title, Ed!
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a story with a diabolical key...if only i knew the English word for it
one88proof27 June 2008
"Oh great," you think. "another guy giving it a high rating for this beep just to be contrary. Ah-yawn." Well, maybe. It depends on your perspective, and I'm sincere in my belief that there's something about this movie that transcends it's own badness. From the look of the TV spots over a decade ago, it seemed like it was so horrible, by all accounts, that it SHOULDN'T exist! Anyway, me and my brother relived Ed-mania on premium cable the other night, and something odd struck me. Is it possible that this movie is a satire on what Hollywood thinks the lowest common denominator enjoys? Sports? Check. The show Friends? Cast member that the sports bar crowd fancies as their ideal self is in tow. A primate dressing like a person? We'll do you one recursion better. A person dressed as a primate dressing like a person.

The Chuck Jones cartoon sound effects are there, transforming the shock of violence and injury into temporary and absurd conditions. The spirit of the Munsters, a satire on immigrants living in American suburbia, arises in unnecessary fast-tracking film techniques to make this world more cartoon-like and "sped up" during moments of intensity.

The American ideals are constantly lampooned upon, sometimes in ways we're so used to living here that we don't immediately notice them. It's very telling throughout the picture, but I'll only focus on some of the final scenes, which is everything that follows a car chase (I mean, after all, car chases are part and parcel in crazy American life).

A girl child prays to God at the eve of the "big game" to spare the life of the chimp in the hospital bed. As soon as she lays the chimp's pitcher mitt on his lap to go blithely get a drink of some apple juice (or something, I was distracted), the heart monitor begins to beep in steady rhythm and the once comatose chimp recovers and is eager to go to the big game. This entire drama, from the setup to the climax, is about twenty seconds in length. We didn't know beforehand that the chimp was so badly frozen in the truck that it would resign him to a hospital bed, and that cognitive dissonance is just as intentional as the scene where the chimp watches late night TV and plays with his food, I assure you.

Before the final pitch of the big game, a distressed Matt LeBlanc wipes the sweat on his brow and calls for a time out. He runs to the stands and steals a kiss from the attractive woman, and turns to the chimp. The chimp licks his finger tip and knowingly "chalks up another" as Matt LeBlanc shows his dental work and nods in sinister agreement. As he heads back to the mound, he is now destined not to blow the game at all. The woman and a girl child stand in awe as their hair blows in the wind in one half of the shot, and the other half of the angle incorporates the American flag flying high and proudly. Now we have a nuclear family, including a family pet. Except the pet is not a pet. And the girl is not her daughter. Yes, those conflicts with the ideal are intentional. It's pointing out an absurdity that even the misfits can pull themselves together and be the ideal if we so choose, but only in movies.

There are many ways to take the symbolism in this movie, and all of them are deeply cynical and rightfully critical of white culture and Hollywood, alike. Unfortunately, this film will only be preaching to the converted just as Beavis and Butthead also did in the same era, while sterile and boring masses take it at face value. The roman a clef to that show was that what they were saying itself was not the joke, but the fact that THEY THEMSELVES found it funny. The further recursion was that the kids who took the show at face value were looking in the mirror while looking in the TV--sitting on their couch, looking dead ahead at B&B sitting on the couch.

I only go off on that tangent to say that Ed is doing a similar thing, but not getting the same kind of recognition for it because it's a few steps ahead of even this time and offers us no crutch of the "mirror stage". That is, with the no-brow ironic movement starting to wane and with the introduction of the "new sincerity" movement where there is NO shred of irony, this is a very hard movie to place because the intent isn't spelled out for us. Were the movie makers being sincere in the way Ed Wood was sincere, and just didn't know they were making a terrible movie children would hate? Were they trying to be ironic, and try to make a farce of the Hollywood conventions in the hopes that the audience would go through an hour and a half deprogramming session? Or what is most likely in the children's market today--try to make a quick buck off in the risky market of imitating more successful movies, in hopes that parents would accidentally pick their movie up thinking it was a Disney Home Video movie? These are three dangerous prongs to dance on, because nobody has time to think about these things except for young adults that play XBOX Live too much. So the movie is a Chinese puzzle box, in this way...and I have the sneaking suspicion that the Ed team planned that all along.

Trust me, if you smoke a few bowls this will all make sense, man.
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Nobody Spanks This Monkey
wes-connors21 June 2011
On the family farm, handsome "Charlotte's Web" reader Matt LeBlanc (as Jack "Deuce" Cooper) sleeps with his big dog. A strong pitching arm gets Mr. LeBlanc on the "Santa Rosa Rockets" team. After a slow start, LeBlanc is ordered to room with Edward "Ed" Sullivan, a large chimpanzee who winds up playing third base for the season. "Ed" doesn't monkey around, and is soon the team's star player. LeBlanc is nonplussed by the chimp, but see if they don't soon share bed and bathroom...

"Ed" eventually helps LeBlanc play hide the banana with attractive Jayne Brook (as Lydia), picking up his cues from her precociously cute daughter Doren Fein (as Lizzie). Monkey see, monkey do. Everything here is cute but the monkey. But, with the lamest material to work with, the monkey had to be cute. Highlighted by brown teeth and red eyes, "Ed" looks like he belongs in a horror movie, and often sounds like he's passing gas. Otherwise, this might have appealed to young children.

** Ed (3/15/96) Bill Couturie ~ Matt LeBlanc, Jayne Brook, Jack Warden, Bill Cobbs
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Excruciatingly embarrassing!
TheLittleSongbird27 March 2011
I love movies and have done for as long as I can remember, but when I saw Ed for the first time recently I found it excruciatingly embarrassing. It isn't even so bad it's good or a mess that is worth watching. It is an excruciatingly embarrassing film that has next to no redeeming features.

When it comes to talking about what makes Ed so bad, I honestly do not know where to begin. The film is ridden with clichés, and what is worse these clichés are badly explored and written. Ed is also a very poorly written film, the humour is crude(which I didn't mind) but it is also very, very unfunny with minimal laughs and cringeworthy dialogue.

The story is predictable too, sometimes that isn't always a bad thing, but it is when nothing of interest happens and you can smell events like the ending a mile off. The direction is flat as well, the production values didn't do anything for me and the soundtrack was annoying and too jaunty.

The acting is absolutely awful, and it certainly doesn't help that none of the characters are likable in any way. Matt LeBlanc can be good and endearing, but he and his character aren't here. LeBlanc's character is so irritating you want to strangle him, and the less said about that monkey the better.

Overall, an unfunny and embarrassing mess and possibly the worst movie of 1996, only Bio Dome comes close to being worse. 1/10 Bethany Cox
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