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Doctor Who (TV Movie 1996) Poster

(1996 TV Movie)

Quotes

Grace: Professor Wagg! This is Professor Bowman. He's from London. He was just going to share a secret with us.

The Doctor: Erm, yes professor. Is there a chance of a closer look at the clock.

Professor Wagg: No! No. I'm afraid I am the the only person allowed up there.

The Doctor: Oh well, can't you bend the rules a little...

Professor Wagg: No.

The Doctor: Oh but you see...

Grace: [Interrupting the Doctor] Grace says you have a big secret. What is it?

The Doctor: [Taking Professor Wagg to one side] I'm half human.

[pause as Professor Wagg gives the Doctor an odd look]

The Doctor: On my mothers side.

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The Doctor: Wait, I remember. I'm with my father, we're lying back in the grass, it's a warm Gallifreyan night...

Grace: Gallifreyan?

The Doctor: Gallifrey. Yes, this must be where I live. Now where is that?

Grace: I've never heard of it. What do you remember?

The Doctor: A meteor storm. The sky above us was dancing with lights. Purple, green, brilliant yellow. Yes!

Grace: What?

The Doctor: These shoes. They fit perfectly!

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Grace: I finally meet the right guy, and he's from another planet.

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The Doctor: I know who I am.

[Kisses Grace]

The Doctor: I am the Doctor.

Grace: Good. Now, do that again.

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The Doctor: I love humans. They always see patterns in things that aren't there.

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The Doctor: Grace, don't you see? I have thirteen lives.

Grace: Please! Okay, you're trying to tell me you've come back from the dead.

The Doctor: Yes.

Grace: No sorry. The dead stay dead. You can't turn back time.

The Doctor: Yes you can.

Grace: I'm not a child, don't talk to me like I'm a child. Only children believe that crap. I am a doctor.

The Doctor: But it was a childish dream that made you a doctor. You dreamed you could hold back death. Isn't that true?

[Grace looks back at the Doctor for a moment, astonished and then begins to walk away]

The Doctor: Don't be sad Grace. You'll do great things.

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The Doctor: The world's about to end, and here I am, stuck in traffic.

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The Doctor: You have to get me out of here before they kill me again.

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The Doctor: [Lee and Grace have come back to life] Well, congratulations. You've both been somewhere I've never been.

Grace: It's nothing to be scared of, Doctor.

The Doctor: I'm glad to hear it.

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[explaining the Doctor's eccentricities]

Grace: He's British.

The Doctor: I suppose I am.

[offers a policeman candy]

The Doctor: Jelly baby?

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The Master: That's why there's no time to waste.

The Doctor: But time to change.

The Master: [now wearing traditional Time Lord clothing] I always dress for the occasion.

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[the Doctor and Grace are saying their final farewell's]

Grace: I'm going to miss you.

The Doctor: How can you miss me? I'm easy to find. I'm the guy with two hearts, remember?

Grace: That's not what I meant.

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The Master: What are you waiting for?

Chang Lee: The road's still blocked.

The Master: This is an ambulance!

Chang Lee: Oh, right.

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Pete: [standing in front of the open freezer after the Doctor regenerated and walked out] It wasn't the same guy.

Grace: Sounds like you saw the guy stole the body.

Pete: He was wearing a shroud and a J.D. tag on his toe.

Grace: Somehow, I don't think the Second Coming happens here.

Pete: Right. You think he's gonna go to a BETTER HOSPITAL? You know what? I'm going home.

Grace: Hey, Pete. Stop by psychiatric and pick up some more mind altering drugs.

Pete: Okay, sure.

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[the Doctor pickpockets an obstructive policeman's gun and points it at his own chest]

The Doctor: Now would you stand aside before I shoot myself?

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The Doctor: Grace, I came back to life. *I* held back death. Look, I can't make your dream come true forever, but I can make it come true *today.*

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[the Doctor is driving crazily through San Francisco, with Grace clinging desperately to his back]

Grace: Doctor!

The Doctor: Yes?

Grace: I only have one life! Can you remember that?

The Doctor: [grinning happily] I'll try!

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The Doctor: [showing Lee and Grace a view of the universe, the Doctor points to a planet] Look over there. On the other side of your galaxy. That's home.

Grace: Gallifrey!

The Doctor: 250 million light years away.

Grace: Whoo.

The Doctor: It's a good ten minutes in this old thing.

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Grace: This looks pretty low tech.

The Doctor: Low tech? Grace, this is a type 40 TARDIS, able to take you to any planet in the universe and to any date in that planet's existence. Temporal physics.

Grace: Ohhh. You mean like interdimensional transference. That would explain the spatial displacement we experienced as we passed over the threshold.

The Doctor: [stares at Grace] ... Yes, if you like.

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Grace: Listen, why don't you just have a seat and open your shirt? I want to listen to your heart.

The Doctor: Hearts. Plural.

Grace: Right! Right...

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Grace: Maybe you have selective amnesia brought on by shock.

The Doctor: Maybe. I don't remember.

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[the Doctor and Grace are bickering in the back of an ambulance over the famous people from earths history who he has met. Grace clearly thinks he's mad]

Grace: [sarcastically] I suppose you knew Madame Curie too.

The Doctor: Intimately.

Grace: Does she kiss as good as me?

The Master: As WELL as you.

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The Doctor: [the Doctor is holding himself at gunpoint] You with me, Grace?

Grace: We don't stand a chance!

The Doctor: [to the policeman] Would you excuse me, please?

[pulls Grace aside for a conversation while wavering the gun in the policeman's general direction]

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[about to drive between two closely passing semis]

The Doctor: Breathe in, Grace!

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Chang Lee: Hey, man, when I get all that gold, you know what I'm gonna do?

Master/Bruce: I don't want to know.

Chang Lee: [laughs] You kill me.

Master/Bruce: [puzzled] You want me to kill you?

Chang Lee: No!

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The Doctor: [regarding the Master] He's on his last life, fighting to survive, and as science has shown us over and over: in the fight to survive, there are no rules.

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The Doctor: [regarding a young security guard] His invention saves the human life several times, but first he must graduate in Poetry.

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[the Doctor abruptly sets off the fire alarm]

The Doctor: Why'd you do that?

The Doctor: Liven things up! Come on!

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The Doctor: The universe hangs by such a delicate thread of coincidences that it would be useless to meddle with it, unless like me you're a Time Lord.

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Grace: Why a police box?

The Doctor: It's cloaking device got stuck on a previous misadventure.

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Chang Lee: When he gets his body back from you, I'm gonna be rich.

Chang Lee: [incredulously] And you believe him?

Chang Lee: Why shouldn't I?

The Doctor: I suppose he neglected to mention there won't be any place left to *spend* your money!

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[the Doctor joins Grace in the lift]

The Doctor: Puccini! We've met before!

Grace: Ah, I don't think so.

The Doctor: Yes, yes, yes, I think so! I know you! You're tired of life, but afraid of dying.

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Master/Bruce: I need the Doctor's body.

Miranda: Sense of humor, no more snoring... You don't need a doctor. Come back to bed, honey.

Master/Bruce: My name is not Honey.

Miranda: Oh well, what would you like me to call you then?

Master/Bruce: Master will do.

Miranda: Well, come back to bed, Master.

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The Old Master: I do hereby make my last will and testament... If I am to be executed, and thus cruelly deprived of all existence, I ask only that my remains be transported back to my home planet by my rival Time Lord and nemesis - he who calls himself... the Doctor.

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[the record player begins to skip]

The Doctor: Oh no, not again!

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[first lines]

The Doctor: [voiceover] It was on the planet Skaro that my old enemy the Master was finally put on trial. They say he listened calmly as his list of evil crimes was read, and sentence passed. Then he made his last, and I thought, somewhat curious request. He demanded that I, the Doctor, a rival Time Lord, should take his remains back to our home planet, Gallifrey. It was a request they should never have granted...

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Master/Bruce: Lee is the son I always yearned for.

[hugs Lee and kisses the top of his head]

The Doctor: Oh, PLEASE!

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The Doctor: Well? How does it feel? To hold back death?

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The Master: Where is it? His body.

Nurse: Well haven't you heard? The body's gone. Stolen!

The Master: Okay. Where are his things?

Nurse: The kid that brought him in ran off with them.

The Master: The Asian child.

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Grace: Tardis? What's a tardis?

The Doctor: A TARDIS is my ship that carries me through Time and Space. T-A-R-D-I-S. It stands for Time And Relative Dimension In Space.

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The Doctor: [In pain after being shot] "Timing malfunction..."

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The Doctor: Grace, we don't have time for this! The Eye of Harmony is open; if I don't close it, get my TARDIS and the Master off this planet, *this planet* will no longer exist!

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The Doctor: [begins climbing up a ladder to the roof] You aren't afraid of heights, are you?

Grace: Yeah.

The Doctor: So am I.

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Chang Lee: So, uh, where's the Master?

[the TARDIS gurgles strangely]

The Doctor: Indigestion.

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The Doctor: You want dominion over the living, but all you do is kill!

The Master: Life is wasted on the living!

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The Master: [about being on the Titanic] I am not a native of this world, you cannot expect me to remember the name of every ship that sinks.

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Nurse: Bruce, you're sick.

Master/Bruce: Thank you.

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The Master: There are few things more satisfying than taking the life of an innocent. If not victory, then REVENGE!

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Daleks: Exterminate! Exterminate!

[the master is disintegrated]

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[the Doctor steals an obnoxious policeman's gun and points it at his own chest]

The Doctor: Now would you stand aside before I shoot myself?

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The Doctor: I have a horrible feeling we're already too late.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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