3.1/10
182
4 user 3 critic

Dinosaur Valley Girls (1996)

Haunted by recurring dreams of Hea-Thor (Denise Ames), a gorgeous cavegirl,and a menacing Allosaurus, action-movie star Tony Markham (Jeff Rector) soon finds himself transported, by means ... See full summary »

Director:

Donald F. Glut

Writer:

Donald F. Glut
Reviews

On Disc

at Amazon

Photos

Learn more

More Like This 

Adventure | Comedy | Fantasy
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.4/10 X  

An army captain is flying three misfit deserters home for a court martial when the plane has engine trouble and they must land on an uncharted island. There they find a primitive society of... See full summary »

Directors: Fred Olen Ray, Jim Wynorski
Stars: Ross Hagen, Richard Gabai, Antonia Dorian
Horror
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.3/10 X  

An aging woman kisses a mummy on display in a museum. This is what remains of the evil sorceress, Hor Shep Sut, who is reawakened to her murderous ways.

Director: Donald F. Glut
Stars: Yuu Asakura, Joe Baisur, Bruce Barlow
Drama
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.9/10 X  

A mysterious, but kind-hearted, drifter tries to help a wealthy, but dysfunctional, Malibu family with their personal and romantic problems between them.

Director: Edward Holzman
Stars: Shauna O'Brien, Griffin Drew, Burke Morgan
Bikini Hoe-Down (Video 1997)
Comedy | Thriller
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.7/10 X  

The Three Seasons Bikini Team (April, May & June) leave on a cross-country tour, but June sabotages the trip. They and the photographer end up in Pig Hollow, where Missy Sue is desperately ... See full summary »

Director: Fred Olen Ray
Stars: Griffin Drew, Shayna Ryan, Ashlie Rhey
Six-Gun Women (2012)
Action
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.8/10 X  

A gunfighter is taken prisoner by a female wild bunch and falls in love with their leader, a beautiful Apache outlaw queen.

Director: Tony Clay
Stars: Angelie Almendare, Tony Clay, Cheryl Dent
Masseuse (1996)
Drama
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.9/10 X  

Jack is a real scum-bag who is going to marry Kristy. He has a bad habit of sleeping with other women and stealing all of her money. Two weeks before their marriage, Kristy sees Jack having... See full summary »

Director: Fred Olen Ray
Stars: Griffin Drew, Tim Abell, Monique Parent
Comedy | Horror
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5/10 X  

An adult film that spoofs The Blair Witch.

Director: Jim Wynorski
Stars: Juliet Cariaga, Julie Dey, Antonia Dorian
Horror
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.7/10 X  

Horror legend Paul Naschy (Dracula's Great Love) stars in his first American film, a chilling and seductive saga of rampant bloodlust. Over a century ago, vampiric Lord Ruthven and his ... See full summary »

Director: Donald F. Glut
Stars: Paul Naschy, Glori-Anne Gilbert, Arthur Roberts
Action | Adventure | Comedy
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.4/10 X  

A magazine centerfold overdoses on a beauty-enhancement drug and grows 60 feet tall.

Director: Fred Olen Ray
Stars: J.J. North, Ted Monte, Raelyn Saalman
The Lusty Busty Babe-a-que (TV Movie 2008)
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.5/10 X  

A soft porn adult movie about topless models covered in chocolate sauce, while having an outdoor party.

Director: Jim Wynorski
Stars: Melissa Brasselle, Juliet Cariaga, Julie Dey
Double Duty (2009)
Action | Comedy | Romance
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.8/10 X  

Female career marine tries to adjust to civilian life.

Director: Stephen Eckelberry
Stars: Mimi Lesseos, Tom Sizemore, Susan Duerden
Comedy | Horror
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4/10 X  

A devil-worshiping woman sends out her four beautiful nieces to lure men back to her place so they can be killed, ground up and sold as meat pies.

Director: Joseph F. Robertson
Stars: Karen Black, Pat Morita, Kristine Rose
Edit

Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
Jeff Rector ... Tony Markham
William Marshall ... Dr. Benjamin Michaels
Griffin Drew ... Daphne Adrian
Harrison Ray Harrison Ray ... Sensei and Beeg-Mak
Elizabeth Landau Elizabeth Landau ... Andrey Benedict
Carrie Vanston Carrie Vanston ... Karen Forster
Shirlee Jean Brown Shirlee Jean Brown ... Masseuse
Tony Clay Tony Clay ... TV Anchorman
Joan Gregory Joan Gregory ... Paleontologist
Yvonne Green Yvonne Green ... Fan
Dawanda Pesicka Dawanda Pesicka ... Fan
Susan Jay Susan Jay ... Fan
Bobby Cabana Bobby Cabana ... Museum Visitor
Marc Schirmeister Marc Schirmeister ... Guy with Guy in Hawaiian shirt on museum steps
J. Reynolds Shoenberger J. Reynolds Shoenberger ... Museum Visitor
Edit

Storyline

Haunted by recurring dreams of Hea-Thor (Denise Ames), a gorgeous cavegirl,and a menacing Allosaurus, action-movie star Tony Markham (Jeff Rector) soon finds himself transported, by means of a magic Icon, back through time to Dinosaur Valley. Now trapped in world of dangerous dinosaurs, grunting cavemen and a tribe of exotic, love-starved cavegirls, Tony must put his modern-days skills to extreme tests in order to survive prehistoric perils, win the cavegirl of his dreams and (maybe) return to his own time? Written by Anonymous

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Plot Keywords:

allosaurus | cave girl | See All (2) »

Taglines:

A Land Where Time Stands Still and the Exotic Action Never Stops ...


Certificate:

Unrated | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:

View content advisory »
Edit

Details

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Release Date:

8 February 2002 (Japan) See more »

Company Credits

Show more on IMDbPro »

Technical Specs

Runtime:

(director's cut)

Color:

Color
See full technical specs »
Edit

Did You Know?

Trivia

The last film appearance of William Marshall (1924-2003) See more »

Crazy Credits

No animals, extinct or extant, were harmed in the making of this movie. Humans on the other hand... See more »

Alternate Versions

The film was distributed in the USA in 1999 in VHS in two versions: the Director's Cut (uncut version), and an edited version minus some nudity (family version). See more »

Connections

Featured in Cinemaker (2004) See more »

Frequently Asked Questions

This FAQ is empty. Add the first question.

User Reviews

 
Makes "Dinosaur Island" look like a masterpiece
3 August 2014 | by jivers01See all my reviews

After enduring Fred Olen Ray's idiotic, unfunny "Dinosaur Island" it seemed impossible to lower the bar any further. But this film is twice as bad, and boring to boot. Tony, a barely- likable Hollywood action star, is transported back to prehistoric times (what, that plot again?) via a magical icon where he cavorts with cave babes, including a token black girl, who wear leopard-spot and zebra-skin bikinis. Essentially it's 1985's dumb teen comedy "Cavegirl" multiplied by a power of ten and turned into a dumb adult comedy. Much like Ed Wood, writer/director Donald Glut has great enthusiasm for the subject ("Land of the Lost", "Dink, the Little Dinosaur") but no ideas or artistic vision worth putting on film. In fact, it's astonishing that investors actually put up the money to make this at all. Clearly, this cost someone a fortune that they probably did not get back. To its credit, the cinematography and colorful locations are quite beautiful. And the old school stop-motion dinosaurs, though a bit stiff and clunky, are actually fun to see. It's like watching Willis O'Brien's 1925 "The Lost World" in color.

The main liability is the utterly witless script fails miserably as a comedy (absolutely nothing even moderately amusing occurs) and also fails as softcore erotica -- despite frequent scenes of beautiful topless cavegirls. To kill some screen time, there's also a sudden, out-of-context music video, "Jurassic Punk", with a montage of dinosaurs and slow-motion dancing girls. That part was almost entertaining.

In order to have some sort of story (i.e. conflict), the cavemen and cavewomen live in separate, single-gender tribes. The men adore a "pinup" stick-figure drawing of a woman they call Raquel (as in former cavegirl Raquel Welch, get it?). Now that we've all had a good laugh, let's take a moment to catch our breath ... Both tribes speak a made up language so, the only verbal humor comes from Tony reciting tired old tag lines (like "Make my day") from vintage action films. (Stop it, these hilarious jokes are killing me.) One would then expect plenty of physical slapstick humor to compensate, right? Sorry, no. However, this being a sophisticated film for adults, the cavemen do fart a lot and Three Stooges-type sound effects are added in to remind us this is a comedy, damn it, despite all evidence to the contrary.

After over an hour of pointless, episodic tedium, the cavemen finally raid the cavegirls' camp and drag them off. Almost immediately, the girls realize being abducted and molested isn't so bad after all and the two tribes merge and everyone is happy. The only other plot conflict is dealing with a bothersome allosaurus.

For some reason, while wearing his screenwriter's hat, director Glut found it terribly amusing that sex is repeatedly referred to as "tooka-tooka" by the cave people. Confident of a box- office smash, the frightening end credits announce a proposed sequel entitled "Dinosaur Valley Girls: Tooka-Tooka Too!" We can all thank our lucky stars that this was never made. Glut moved on to make some equally terrible erotic-ish horror flicks.


1 of 3 people found this review helpful.  Was this review helpful to you? | Report this
Review this title | See all 4 user reviews »

Contribute to This Page

Stream Trending Movies With Prime Video

Enjoy a night in with these popular movies available to stream now with Prime Video.

Start your free trial



Recently Viewed