3rd Rock from the Sun (1996–2001)
French Stewart: Harry Solomon
Harry Solomon : Women. You can't live with 'em, and yet they're everywhere.
[Dick is whining about his job]
Harry Solomon : You know, Dick, when life gives you lemons, just shut up and eat the damn lemons.
[Harry is looking for a job offer in the newspaper]
Harry Solomon : Here's a job that I can do. "Police are seeking third gunman." Tomorrow, I'm gonna march over to the police station and show them that I'm the man they're looking for.
Tommy Solomon : Remind me never to ask you for another favor again!
Dick Solomon : You weren't right for the role.
Harry Solomon : Hey, how'd the audition go?
Tommy Solomon : I lost the part. The "Di-rec-tor" didn't think I was good enough!
Dick Solomon : You were good: you had delivery, presence, timing, you just didn't have that indefinable something extra.
Tommy Solomon : I was just trying to score some points with my girlfriend, is that too much to ask?
Dick Solomon : 'Romeo & Juliet' is a Shakespearian tragedy, it has nothing to do with a horny teenager and his girlfriend!
Tourist : Excuse me, we've been driving around for hours. Do you know of any hotels that have rooms?
Harry Solomon : I believe that *all* hotels have rooms.
Sally Solomon : What happened, Harry?
Harry Solomon : It came out!
Dick Solomon : Is it an alien?
Harry Solomon : Well, it's purple, and it's slimy, and it's got a hose.
Sally Solomon : A hose?
Tommy Solomon : Oh, great. It's a mutant.
Dick Solomon : Alright, we'll kidnap him, and hide him, when it's a teenager we'll set him free, and then if it's really messed up, we can blame him on television.
[Marry Albright arrives]
Mary Albright : They just brought him to the nursery. He is positively glowing.
Harry Solomon : Now it's glowing.
Mary Albright : Let's go see him. He's got Vicky's eyes.
Harry Solomon : What's he doing with Vicky's eyes?
Sally Solomon : I just hope it's not eating them.
Dick Solomon : I'm sorry, there is simply no room in the budget for raises. But I can go you one better: promotions! Sally, you are now *Senior* Security Officer.
Sally Solomon : That'll look good on the ol' résumé!
Dick Solomon : Tommy, you are now *Senior* Information Officer.
Tommy Solomon : It's about time!
Harry Solomon : What about me?
Dick Solomon : Harry, you are now... Harold.
Harry Solomon : Champagne for everyone!
[around Super Bowl season]
Harry Solomon : Tell me what you've done to Sally. Where are you taking her?
Mascha : I can't. I wish I could.
Harry Solomon : Can't you give me a hint?
Mascha : All right... We're going to do something on the weekend... in San Diego.
Harry Solomon : Why can't you give me hint?
Mascha : We're going to do something on Sunday... in San Diego.
Harry Solomon : Just one clue?
Mascha : We're going to something on SUNDAY... in SAN DIEGO... at a STADIUM.
Harry Solomon : Just one tiny clue?
Mascha : The Super Bowl, Harry!
Harry Solomon : WORK WITH ME, BABY! WHICH SUPER BOWL?
Harry Solomon : Hey world, I'm alive. And these pants are washable.
Harry Solomon : Dubcek's threatening to make me work it off, and I don't think she's talking about mowing the lawn.
Harry Solomon : Incoming message from the Big Giant Head!
Evil Dick : Do I make myself clear, Tommy?
Harry Solomon : Oh no, I'm Harry.
Evil Dick : No, from now on you will be referred to as Tommy.
Tommy Solomon : Hey, what about me?
Evil Dick : You will be Tommy too.
Tommy Solomon : Wait, so Tommy as in the number 2 or as what...?
Evil Dick : You will all be known as Tommy!
Tommy Solomon : [Tommy and Harry are moving Sally's belongings out of the house]
[Tommy carries a large box with difficulty]
Tommy Solomon : Oh, Harry, you've got to help me with this box, it's filled with rocks and books and stuff.
Harry Solomon : Step aside.
[Harry grips the box and gets ready to push it up, as he does, the box flies over his head]
Tommy Solomon : [giggling] ... It was empty...
Harry Solomon : No.
[grabs the box and starts to leave]
Harry Solomon : I'm the strongest man in the world!
Harry Solomon : So, Dick. Wanna know what I heard around the water cooler today?... There's a weird guy hanging 'round the water cooler.
Harry Solomon : Talk to the hand.
Harry Solomon : Incoming message from the Big Giant Head. The Big Giant Head is unable to take your call at this time. You must wait until your call is answered in the order it was recieved.
Harry Solomon : And my job will be to figure out what causes harm to the human form. Like getting your fingers crushed in a car door. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
Harry Solomon : You know, one thing I learned - television always goes better with food.
Harry Solomon : The manual said hair below the shoulders but not above the head. I don't think anyone is going to look down there.