Toy Story (1995) Poster


John Ratzenberger: Hamm



  • [Mr. Potato Head rearranges his facial features crazily] 

    Mr. Potato Head : Hey, Hamm. Look, I'm Picasso!

    Hamm : I don't get it.

    Mr. Potato Head : You uncultured swine! What're you lookin' at, ya hockey puck?

  • Mr. Potato Head : Hey, a laser! How come *you* don't have a laser, Woody?

    Woody : It's not a laser! It's a...

    [sighs in frustration] 

    Woody : It's a little light bulb that blinks.

    Hamm : What's with him?

    Mr. Potato Head : Laser envy.

  • Rex : Mr. Lightyear, now I'm curious... what does a space ranger actually do?

    Woody : He's not a space ran-*ger*! He doesn't fight evil or, or... shoot lasers or fly.

    Buzz : Excuse me.

    Buzz : [Buzz deploys his wings; all exclaim in excitement] 

    Hamm : Wow. Impressive wingspan. Very good.

    Woody : Oh, what? What? These are plastic; he can't fly.

    Buzz : They are a terillium-carbonic alloy, and I *can* fly.

    Woody : No, you can't.

    Buzz : [sighs]  Yes, I can.

    Woody : Can't.

    Buzz : Can.

    Woody : Can't, can't, ca-an't!

    Buzz : I tell you, I could fly around this room with my eyes closed!

    Woody : Okay, Mr. Light Beer, prove it.

    Buzz : All right then, I will. Stand back, everyone.

  • Mr. Potato Head : [noticing Woody calling from Sid's house]  Son of a building block!It's Woody!

    Hamm : He's in the psycho's bedroom!

    Bo Peep : Woody?

    Woody : Boy, am I glad to see you guys!

    Slinky Dog : I knew you'd come back!

    Bo Peep : What are you doing over there?

    Woody : It's a long story, I'll explain later. Here! Catch this!

    [Woody throws a string of Christmas lights across to Andy's window, which Slinky grabs successfully] 

    Slinky Dog : I got it!

    Woody : Good going Slink! Now tie it onto something!

    Mr. Potato Head : Wait, I have a better idea! How about we don't?

    [snatches the lights off Slinky] 

    Slinky Dog : Hey!

    Bo Peep : Potato Head!

    Mr. Potato Head : Did you all take those Stupid Pills this morning? Have you forgotten what he did to Buzz?

    [the other toys shake their head] 

    Mr. Potato Head : And now you wanna let him back over here?

    Woody : No, no. You got it all wrong Potato Head. Buzz is fine. Buzz is right here. He's with me.

    Mr. Potato Head : You are a liar!

    Woody : No i'm not!

    [calling to Buzz] 

    Woody : Buzz, come over here and tell the nice toy's that you're not dead!

    Woody : Just a sec.

    Woody : [walks back into Sid's room and calls over to Buzz]  Buzz, will you get up here and gimme a hand?

    [Buzz throws his broken-off arm to Woody] 

    Woody : Ha-ha, ha-ha. That's real funny. THIS IS SERIOUS!

  • Woody : [running towards Buzz in a mocking sort of manner]  Buzz! Oh, Buzz! Buzz Lightyear! Buzz Lightyear, thank goodness! We've got trouble!

    Buzz : Trouble? Where?

    Woody : Down there. Just down there. A helpless toy! It's - It's trapped, Buzz!

    Buzz : Then we've no time to lose.

    [Buzz jumps over to the side of the desk, while Woody sneaks over to RC's remote, waking him up, and aiming him directly at Buzz] 

    Buzz : I don't see anything!

    Woody : Uh, he's there. Just - Just keep looking.

    [Woody sends RC driving towards Buzz. Buzz jumps out of the way, and RC crashes into the pin-up board in the corner, knocking all the pins down around Buzz. The board crashes down into Andy's globe, knocking it loose, rolling towards Buzz] 

    Woody : [Buzz jumps out of the globe's way, onto the windowsill, but the globe strikes Andy's folding-arm desk lamp. It spins over Woody, who ducks out of the way, and hits Buzz, sending him flying out the window] 

    Hamm , Mr. Potato Head : [stop their card game, and run over to the window in panic]  BUZZ!

    Woody : Buzz!

    [Buzz flies into the bushes nearby and disappears] 

    Slinky Dog : [the rest of Andy's toys gather round]  I don't see him in the driveway. I think he bounced into Sid's Yard.

    [Woody gulps and backs away from the window after what happened] 

  • Slinky Dog : [after Buzz gets knocked out the window and lands into the bushes nearby]  Hey guys, RC's trying to tell us something.

    Rex : What is it Boy?

    R.C. the Race Car : [RC whirrs his wheels] 

    Mr. Potato Head : He's saying that this is *no* accident!

    Bo Peep : What do you mean?

    Mr. Potato Head : I mean Humpty Dumpty was pushed, by Woody!

    [the toys all stare at Woody in shock] 

    Woody : Wait a minute, You don't think I even meant to knock Buzz out the window, do you? Potato Head?

    Mr. Potato Head : That's Mr. Potato Head to *you* you backstabbing murderer!

    Woody : Now, guys, it was an accident. C'mon, you-you've gotta believe me.

    Slinky Dog : We believe ya, Woody. Right, Rex?

    Rex : [nervously]  Well, I mean, uh, I don't like confrontations!

    Mr. Potato Head : Couldn't handle Buzz cutting on your playtime, could you Woody? Didn't wanna face the fact that Buzz might be Andy's *new* favourite toy. So you got rid of him. Well what if Andy starts playing with *me* more Woody, huh? You gonna knock me out the window too?

    Hamm : I don't think we should give him the chance.

  • [watching guests arrive for Andy's party] 

    Rex : Any dinosaur-shaped ones?

    Hamm : Oh, for crying out loud, they're all in *boxes*, you idiot.

    Rex : They're getting bigger...

    Slinky Dog : Wait, there's a nice little one over there.

    [boy turns around, revealing the full length of the box he's carrying] 

    Rex , Hamm , Slinky Dog : AAAAAHH!

  • Sergeant : Molly's first present is... Mrs. Potato Head! Repeat, a Mrs. Potato Head!

    Hamm : Way to go, Ida-ho!

    Mr. Potato Head : Gee, I'd better shave!

    [pulls off his moustache] 

  • Sergeant : [he can't see what Andy is holding up]  It's a...


    [Rex shakes the table, inadvertently knocking off the TalkBoy and causing the batteries to fall out] 

    Rex : Oh, no!

    Mr. Potato Head : Oh, you big lizard! Now we'll never know what it is!

    Rex : Way to go, Rex!

    [moves forward] 

    Woody : [as the toys struggle to put the batteries back in the TalkBoy]  No, no, turn 'em around! Turn 'em around!

    Hamm : He's putting them in backward!

    [to Mr. Potato Head] 

    Hamm : Hey, you're putting 'em in backwards!


    [jumps down] 

    Sergeant : [downstairs, into the Baby Monitor]  Red alert! Red alert! Andy is coming upstairs!

    [Woody puts the batteries back in properly and picks the Talkboy up] 

    Sergeant : ... juvenile intrusion, repeat! Assume your positions now!

    Woody : ANDY'S COMING! Everybody back to your places! Hurry!

    [mayhem breaks out] 

    Mr. Potato Head : [in a panic]  Where's my ear? Who's seen my ear? Did you see my ear?

    Rex : Out of my way! Here I come, here I come!

    [Rex bonks his head with bucket] 

  • Rex : Hey, Woody? Where'd you go?

    Mr. Potato Head : He's lying, Buzz ain't there.

    [Woody returns with Buzz' detached arm, hiding it slightly from the other toys] 

    Woody : Oh, hi Buzz. Why don't you say hello to the guys over there?

    Woody : [Imitating Buzz' voice]  Hiya fellas. To infinity and beyond!

    Rex : [while he and the other toys look in amazement]  Hey look, it's Buzz!

    Woody : [shakes the arm's hand]  Yeah, hey, Buzz. Let's show the guys our new secret best-friends hand shake. Gimme five, man!

    [Hi fives Buzz's severed arm] 

    Hamm : [to Mr. Potato Head]  Something's screwy here.

    Woody : So, you see. We're friends now, guys. Aren't we, Buzz?

    [imitates Buzz] 

    Woody : You bet, give me a hug.

    [makes the arm grab his neck and pull him forward into a hug; chuckles] 

    Woody : Oh. I love you, too.

    Slinky Dog : See? It is Buzz!

    [to Mr. Potato Head] 

    Slinky Dog : Now give back the lights, Potato Head.

  • Woody : Has everybody picked a moving buddy?

    Hamm : Moving buddy? You can't be serious!

    Rex : I didn't know we were supposed to have one already!

    Mr. Potato Head : [holding his left arm in his right hand]  Do we have to hold hands?

    [All laugh] 

  • Hamm : Yes, sir, we're next month's garage sale fodder for sure.

  • Slinky Dog : It's Sid!

    Rex : I thought he was at summer camp!

    Hamm : They must've kicked him out early this year.

    Rex : Oh no, not Sid!

  • Mr. Potato Head : [as Woody tries to persuade everyone that Buzz is alright so that they may help him over]  Wait just a minute. What are you trying to pull?

    Woody : [throwing both hands into the air, accidentally revealing Buzz' severed arm completely]  Nothing!

    [the toys from Andy's Room scream in horror, and Rex throws up at the sight of it] 

    Hamm : That is disgusting!

    Mr. Potato Head : *Murderer*

    Woody : No, no no no! It's not what you think. I swear!

    Mr. Potato Head : Save it for the jury!

    [throws the string of Christmas lights out the window, which go flying back to Sid's house where Woody is pleading for mercy, and land into Sid's Yard] 

    Mr. Potato Head : I hope Sid pulls your voice box out, ya creep!

    [he and the other toys start to leave] 

    Woody : Don't leave! You've gotta help us please! You don't know what's it's like over here!

    Woody : [to Slinky]  Slink, please! Please listen to me! Slink, don't...

    [Slinky sadly closes the blind] 

    Woody : [sadly]  SLI-I-I-I-NKYYY!

  • Mr. Potato Head : [while playing Battleship]  Ah, ha. B-3.

    Hamm : Miss. G-6.

    Mr. Potato Head : Aw, you sunk it!

    [Hamm chuckles] 

    Mr. Potato Head : Are you peeking?

    Hamm : Hey, quit your whining and pay up.

    [Mr. Potato Head plls off one of his ears] 

    Hamm : No, no, not the ear. Gimme the nose.

    Mr. Potato Head : [pulls off his nose]  How 'bout 3 out of 5?

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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