- Mark: Hey, Lucas. I've decided I'm going to start a band.
- Lucas: The first thing you need is a name. Then you'll know what kind of band you've got.
- Mark: Right, right. I was thinking about, um, Marc. How does that sound?
- Lucas: Is that with a C or with a K?
- Mark: Well my name is with a
- [checks his nametag]
- Mark: K, so I was thinking my band's name could be with a C. That way it's kind of that psychedelic, you know, trip thing.
- Lucas: Always play with their minds.
- Gina: Attention Rex Manning fans, to your left you will notice a shoplifter being chased by night manager, Lucas. This young man will be caught, deep fried in a vat of hot oil and served to our first hundred customers. Just another tasty treat from the gang at Empire Records.
- Debra: [reading impending doom, the Music Town rules:] No visible tattoos.
- Gina: No revealing clothing.
- Debra: We're both screwed. At least you're used to it.
- Gina: Oh, no, Debra, don't be bitter. Surely with your ever-growing collection of flesh-mutilating silver appendages and your brand-new neo-Nazi boot camp makeover, the boys will come a-runnin'.
- [Debra has just shaved her head]
- Gina: Well, "Sinead O'Rebellion." Shock me, shock me, shock me with that deviant behavior.
- Debra: God, that is so clever. I swear you get smarter the shorter your skirt gets.
- Gina: And you get smarter the shorter your hair gets, so it's probably a good thing you went with that. It's a wonderful look for you, darlin'.
- Lucas: Mark, who's your favorite singer?
- Mark: Axl.
- Lucas: Well if Axl Rose was driving down the highway, and saw Rex Manning stranded on the side of the road, do you think Axl Rose would stop and help him?
- Mark: [thinks] ... Does Axl have a jack?
- Warren: No way man!... Axl would pound on the gas, turn the wheel, take aim, and take that sucker out!
- Lucas: Warren, look what you took.
- [going through the CD's that Warren stole from the store]
- Lucas: Rap... metal... rap... metal... And Whitney Houston.
- Warren: It's for my girlfriend, okay?
- Lucas: Suuure it is. You know, someone like you needs to diminish their criminal impulses, not magnify them. Maybe some jazz or some classical.
- Warren: Maybe you bite me.
- Lucas: $9104. I counted it... twice.
- Lady at Craps Table: I like your style.
- Lucas: [proud, humble] Well Joe told me to count it twice...
- Corey: Joe, you're the best boss in the world. Can I bring Rex his lunch?
- Joe: Berko's taking him his lunch.
- Corey: Um Joe, you know that Berko's gonna insult him to his face I don't think that's such a good idea.
- Joe: I don't care if Berko sticks an M-80 up his butt and lights it. In fact, I hope he sticks one up mine, it might be an improvement.
- Corey: Joe, I have to bring Rex his lunch.
- Joe: Berko is.
- Corey: Joe, I need to bring him his lunch.
- Joe: Berko is.
- Corey: [screams] I'M BRINGING REX HIS LUNCH!
- [pause]
- Joe: ...alright.
- A.J.: Hi, what're you doing up here?
- [Corey pushes A.J so he falls]
- Corey: You listen to me! You're so special and you're so talented and you have everything it takes! You have MORE than everything it takes and you're REALLY stupid because you don't know that. And I know you don't love me anymore, and I know that I blew it but at least I know that, and if you don't go to art school and if you don't understand how special you are then you know nothing!
- A.J.: Corey, I...
- Corey: And I did love you, and I still... only I didn't realise that it really was love because it was more than love and it wasn't just some stupid feeling in my stomach like everything else and I'll never love anybody as much as you and I hate you! I hate you!
- A.J.: Corey, I quit. I quit!
- [pause]
- A.J.: I'm going to art school, in Boston. So I can be near you.
- Joe: Deb, what are you doing?
- Debra: I just wanted to have a little chat with Warren.
- Warren: Yeah? Have a little chat with my gun.
- [waves it under her nose]
- Debra: [into the barrel of Warren's gun] What do you want Warren?
- Warren: *Stop calling me Warren! My name isn't fucking Warren!*
- [kicks furniture to underline point]
- Eddie: His name isn't Warren.
- Corey: [whispers] His name isn't Warren?
- Berko: [whispering as well] His name isn't Warren?
- Mark: I thought his name was Warren?
- Debra: [to Warren] Well, you can't kill me 'cause I'm already dead. And I talked to God, and she says, "Yo, wassup?" and she wants you to lose the gun.
- Warren: What? You are a psycho! A *psycho!*
- Lucas: Joe, is it okay if I leave the couch? 'Cause I'm gonna leave the couch now, okay? My ass is falling asleep, so I gotta go. I'm leaving.
- Joe: [after Lucas enters] Lucas!
- Lucas: Joe!
- Joe: Where's the money?
- Lucas: Joe, the money is gone.
- Joe: Yeah, I know it's gone... but where's it gone to?
- Lucas: Atlantic City.
- Joe: Atlantic City?... Is it coming back from Atlantic City?
- Lucas: [nervous laugh] Oh, I don't think so, Joe.
- Joe: What's it doing in Atlantic City, Lucas?
- Lucas: ...Recirculating.
- Joe: Recirculating?
- Lucas: Yeah.
- [Joe knocks the donation cup that Lucas was carrying out of his hands and grabs his arm]
- Joe: Lucas, listen to me. I told Mitchell Beck that you forgot to deposit the money. I told Mitchell that the money was still here.
- Lucas: Joe, that's not true. It's in Atlantic City... I swear.
- Joe: Shut up, sit down, and don't you move.
- Lucas: [sitting down] It could be in other cities by now...
- Joe: Oh, shut up! Under no circumstances do I want you to leave that couch... unless it's to get me $9000, and then you bring it here to me, okay?
- Lucas: Okay. You know, I think things are gonna be all right now, Joe.
- Joe: Oh? And what makes you think that.
- Lucas: Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear.
- [nodding]
- Lucas: Mmhmm!
- Joe: ...What a moron.
- Lucas: I used to pee in my bed. I did. I, I wet my bed until I was ten. My mother turned me over to the county when I was ten to- not for being a bed wetter- but for being a bad seed. Anyways, 3 years went by, then Joe came. And he took me out, and I became the well adjusted person I am today.
- Corey: So is this how your life's gonna be now, huh? You're just gonna screw every has-been until your tits fall down and they don't want you anymore?
- Debra: I tried to kill myself with a Lady Bic. A pink plastic razor with daisies on it and a moisturizing strip.
- Gina: Oh now, Debra, don't be bitter, surely with your ever growing collection of flesh mutilating silver appendages and your brand new neo-nazi boot camp makeover the boys will come a-runnin'.
- Debra: I guess nobody really has it all together, huh?
- Corey: No.
- Debra: I feel like I should welcome you to the neighborhood or something. Anyway, did you really want to do Rex Manning in the count-out room? Is that how you always imagined your first time would be? Your back up against the daily totals and your feet pounding against the safe? 'Oh Rexy stop that. You're so sexy.'
- Corey: Why are you being so nice to me?
- Debra: Let's save our Hallmark moment.
- Eddie: Can I ask you something? Do you know where Harvard is?
- A.J.: It's near Boston.
- Eddie: No, I mean, do you really know where Harvard is? It's another planet man - another universe. Totally unlike the one we know. Filled with big blond guys who eat ivy and row boats. What I'm trying to say is, you and Corey just aren't made for each other. She's different from you.
- [wearing nothing but a Music Town apron]
- Gina: I really think Music Town is torn on the revealing garment issue.
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