Dead Weekend (1995 TV Movie)
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As you're roaming the aisles, life's cruel hand of fate guides you to "Dead Weekend." Sadly, you decide that you'll give it a chance, and you don't find out until it's too late that the title of the movie is a fitting description for any weekend spent watching this tripe.
The only thing going on in this movie is Stephen gettin' it on with five different female forms of an alien. The alien changes forms randomly, and sometimes she doesn't even know she has changed. Luckily for Stephen, she always shape shifts into a hot babe.
In the end, Stephen decides to leave the planet with his alien lover, but his former soldier colleagues feel he's a traitor and try to hunt him down. Oh the tension. Do you think Stephen would've still wanted to flee the planet with this alien if she started morphing into a Roseanne look-alike with a severe back-hair problem? I doubt it.
It's no bold prediction to say that I'll never watch this movie again. I have no problem watching movies that are so bad they're entertaining (Troll 2, a good number of Michael Paré movies), but this movie is so bad it's just BAD. The only way it could've been worse is if the alien shape shifted into Rosie O'Donnell every time. The acting was wooden and just horrible, there was no real story or action, and the music sounded worse than the midnight jam sessions I used to have on my $20 Casio when I was thirteen years old.
I was bored the entire movie, and I had to fight the temptation to hit "fast forward" harder than Mike D fighting for his right to party. But I can be a stubborn guy at times. I taped this movie, so I was bound and determined to watch the whole thing.
Watching the movie wasn't a total loss though. Yes folks, I actually learned a valuable lesson from this experience - I have really got to learn to be less stubborn.
I suppose if you enjoy the cinematic equivalent of a hammer repeatedly bashing you upside the brain for 82 minutes, then you might want to check out "Dead Weekend." Otherwise, avoid it at all costs. Literally. Spend money to AVOID seeing this movie if you have to.
Eye Candy: Afifi Alaouie, Jennifer MacDonald, Blair Valik, and Barbara Alyn Woods all provide boobage
My Grade: D
Where I saw it: Showtime Beyond
Set in the "not-too distant future", martial law has been declared in The City in leu of a looming earthquake. However, the earthquake is merely a ruse, a story fed to the public so the TWF (True World Forces) can capture an alien spotted over the city some few days earlier. A TWF agent runs into the alien (a *hottie* who can change her apperance, while always remaining - of course - a hottie), and the two go off and, um, compare their respective physiologies (yeah, that's it). Other things happen, too, but who pays attention to plot nowadays?
The effects are poor, but it's the *little* things that really made this film. The chalk outlines. The phone book. The beautiful rooftop view of The City. The officer's club/strip joint/medicenter. These minute details were handled (fondled, even) with the utmost care, thus making this film the cinematic treasure it is. Don't be confused: this flick is BAD. But that's okay. It's as if the director & stars agreed to make as entertaining a film as they could with the $5.63 budget they had. I loved every minute of it!
Dead Weekend is one of the more obscure entries in actor Stephen Baldwin's career, during the time before he became a born-again Christian & retired from this kind of schlock. The film also stars Tom Kenny as an underground DJ who acts as a sort of narrator (of sorts) on the situation & Nicholas Worth as the brash leader of the TWF.
Dead Weekend is, when you come down to it, a softcore erotic drama / comedy / action thriller with an underground vibe that makes it interesting of sorts. But the film's script is frustratingly vague. We never learn what city the action is taking place in or even the exact time it is supposed to be occurring in, only that it's in the "near future". Joel Rose's script is also full of some howlers in the plausibility department – there is no humanly way that the National Guard would be replaced by some silly outfit calling itself the "True World Force" – the name alone would be laughed out of existence. It is also never clear how the TWF's scientists could detect an alien spacecraft entering the city or even what the alien looks like (I also found it hilarious that an underground radio station could accidentally hack into the TWF's communications network & overhear their leader's orders). Instead of displaying any superhuman abilities, the alien (named Amelia) only has the ability to feed off sexual intercourse & change her appearance every time she makes love. There is also a badly fumbled ending where Amelia carries her wounded lover to her spaceship before returning to the TWF soldiers standing in front of her & making some grand speech of how her people gain power from pleasure instead of destruction (which, if handled right, would be the closest the film gets to being profound).
Having said that, Dead Weekend does have its uses. The film's low budget means that transformation effects are out of the question, even CGI morphing – instead the film simply changes actresses from one scene to another, a move that actually works better for the film since the continual replacement of Amelia's actress has an unnerving effect. The humour is a little on the haphazard side but Tom Kenny's motormouth delivery has its amusements.
Nope. Not even close.
In fact, he's been at the directorial helm many times, shelling out work ranging from mediocre to wonderfully bad time and time again.
Well, it certainly discredits his "effort", but I still really like the movie. It's so much fun to watch! It gets even better after you've seen it twenty or thirty times.
The best of the bad lot was Barbara Alyn Woods, and I feel bad for her that this is the only thing I've seen her in. She has undoubtedly done better. Avoid this movie like the plague.
This is simply one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Lame, preposterous plot. Wooden acting. Lousy cinematography. I sure hope these actors got paid well for a potentially career ending fiasco.
I hereby formally nominate it if you ever compile an updated "Worst Movies" list!
Although this movie is being sold as a sci-fi adventure all it really amounts to is a low-budget T&A romp through wasteland. The story and cast are horrible with Stephen Baldwin obviously taking this on as a quick paycheck. Believe me when I say everything about this movie is bad beyond belief. Perhaps the ugliest part is even the T&A can't save this mess of a film.