a.k.a. Baywatch on wheels.
Have you witnessed the marvel that is Pacific Blue? It's a sun-kissed miscellany of wooden acting, drama, romance, action, comedy and brazen T&A.
The acting - my god, the acting. Think of porno actors from the late 80's and early 90's, and you will know the cast of Pacific Blue. Not only that, but the set pieces seem like they were culled from a Peter North and Anita Dark video. It gets better after season 1, but the cheese is omnipresent, and sublime.
The plots - never have I seen such a wonderful treasure of generic stories with moral lessons. Some absolute gems include:
- The misguided gangbanger who is seeking a father figure.
- The cocky new addition to the police force who's keeping a dark secret.
- The school shooting, and how we can't always protect our children from a world gone mad.
- and since it's set in Venice Beach, California, naturally there's a teenage runaway who has someone that cares.
The action - any time there's a chase, and even when there isn't one, you'll get a healthy dose of bodacious bicycle stunts in each show. Unnecessary drops from rooftops, table jumps, wheelies, endos, leg swipes and 360's - all done on mountain bikes with frames and shock absorbers that probably cost more than a yellow Nissan Pathfinder - shaka brah.
The comedy - if the action in Pacific Blue is the sand, surely the comedy is the sea - a sea of awkward awesomeness. You'll be reminded of being in school, when you and a classmate had to pair up to do an impromptu skit in front of the class. You will blush, and then you will lose your mind.
The T&A - because every woman walking along Venice Beach and its surrounding neighborhoods wear G-strings and have a ginormous set of bronzed mammaries.
If you haven't experienced the life-affirming magnificence that is "PacBlue", I urge you to take it for a spin. It's the very definition of California Love.
