Ed Wood (1994) Poster


Martin Landau: Bela Lugosi



  • Conrad Brooks : Mr. Lugosi? I know you're very busy, but, um... can I have your autograph?

    Bela Lugosi : Certainly.

    Conrad Brooks : You know which movie of yours I love, Mr. Lugosi? The Invisible Ray. You were great as Karloff's sidekick.

    Bela Lugosi : Karloff? Sidekick? FUCK YOU! Karloff does not deserve to smell my shit! That limey cocksucker can rot in Hell for all I care!

    Edward D. Wood, Jr. : What happened?

    Bela Lugosi : How dare that asshole bring up Karloff? You think it takes talent to play Frankenstein? It's all makeup and grunting!

    [mocks Frankenstein] 

    Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Bela, I agree with you 100%. Now, "Dracula," that's a role that requires talent.

    Bela Lugosi : Of course. Dracula requires presence. It's all in the eyes, and the voice, and the hands...

    Edward D. Wood, Jr. : That's right. That's right. You seem a little agitated. You wanna to go outside and get some air?

    Bela Lugosi : Bullshit! I'm ready now! Roll the camera!

  • Bela Lugosi : Home? I have no home. Hunted... despised... living like an animal. The jungle is my home! But I will show the world that I can be its master. I shall perfect my own race of people... a race of atomic supermen that will conquer the world!

  • Bela Lugosi : This is the most uncomfortable coffin I've ever been in. Your selection is quite shoddy. You are wasting my time.

  • [on the phone to Bunny] 

    Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Listen, hit the bars, work some parties, and get me transvestites. I need transvestites. All right. Bye.

    Bela Lugosi : Eddie, what kind of a movie is this?

  • Edward D. Wood, Jr. : What are you drinking, Bela?

    Bela Lugosi : Formaldehyde

    Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Straight up or on the rocks?

  • [Bela Lugosi casts a love spell on Vampira who is on TV while moving his fingers like Dracula] 

    Edward D. Wood, Jr. : My Gosh, Bela, how do you do that?

    Bela Lugosi : You must be double-jointed. And you must be Hungarian.

  • Bela Lugosi : I refuse to drive in this country. Too many madmen.

  • Edward D. Wood, Jr. : You know, you're, you're much scarier in real life than you are in the movie.

    Bela Lugosi : Thank you.

  • [Stepping into water] 

    Bela Lugosi : GODDAMN, it's cold!

    Edward D. Wood, Jr. : It'll warm up once you're in it.

    Bela Lugosi : FUCK YOU! You come out here!

  • [on the reason for the success of 'Dracula(1931)'] 

    Bela Lugosi : They were mythic. They had a poetry to them.

    Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Yes.

    Bela Lugosi : And you know what else? The women... the women preferred the traditional monsters.

    Edward D. Wood, Jr. : The women? Huh?

    Bela Lugosi : The pure horror, it both repels, and attracts them, because in their collective unconsiousness, they have the agony of childbirth. The blood. The blood is horror.

    Edward D. Wood, Jr. : You know, I never thought of that.

    Bela Lugosi : Take my word for it. If you want to make out with a young lady, take her to see "Dracula".

  • Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Boy, Mr. Lugosi, you must lead such an exciting life! When is your next picture coming out?

    Bela Lugosi : I have no next picture.

    Edward D. Wood, Jr. : You gotta be joking, a great star like you? You must have dozens of them lined up!

    Bela Lugosi : Back in the old days, yes... Now, no one gives two fucks for Bela.

    Edward D. Wood, Jr. : But you're a big star!

    Bela Lugosi : No more. I haven't worked in four years. This business, this town, it chews you up, then spits you out.


    Bela Lugosi : I'm just an ex-boogeyman.

  • [Bela Lugosi answers the door on Halloween night wearing his Dracula costume] 

    Children : Trick or treat!

    [At the sight of Dracula, all but one little boy scream and run away] 

    Bela Lugosi : Aren't you scared, little boy? I'm going to drink your blood!

    Trick-or-Treating Kid : You're not a real vampire. Those teeth don't frighten me.

    [Bela looks puzzled. Ed Wood appears next to him in the doorway] 

    Edward D. Wood, Jr. : How 'bout these?

    [Pulls out his entire row of front teeth] 

    Edward D. Wood, Jr. : [Little boy screams and runs away] 

    Bela Lugosi : Hey... How d'you do that?

    Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Dentures!

    [Holds them up] 

    Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Lost my pearlies in the war!

  • [while he and the others flee the chaotic premiere of "Bride of the Monster" in a cab] 

    Bela Lugosi : Now that was a premiere.

  • Bela Lugosi : They don't want the classic horror films anymore. Today it's all giant bugs. Giant spiders, giant grasshoppers... Who would believe such nonsense?

  • [pointing to a "Jacob's Ladder" on the set of Bride of the Atom] 

    Bela Lugosi : I'm not getting near that goddamn thing. One of them burned me in "The Return of Chandu".

  • Criswell : Bela, would you like a wine?

    Bela Lugosi : No. I never drink... wine.

  • Bela Lugosi : [about to start filming at night]  "All right, lets shoot this fucker!"

  • Bela Lugosi : Pull the string! Pull the string!

  • [Finds Bela ailing] 

    Bela Lugosi : This happens all the time.

    Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Is there anything I can get for you? Water or a blanket?

    Bela Lugosi : Goulash.

    Edward D. Wood, Jr. : I don't know how to make goulash.

    [See the track marks on Bela's arm] 

    Edward D. Wood, Jr. : Bela, what's in the needle?

    Bela Lugosi : Morphine. With a demerol chaser.

  • Bela Lugosi : [watching Vampira on TV]  I think she's a honey. Look at those jugs.

  • [Bela, in his Dracula costume, hears the doorbell on Halloween night] 

    Bela Lugosi : Children! I love children.

  • Nurse : Oh my goodness, you gave me the willies! You look like that Dracula guy.

    Bela Lugosi : My name is Bela Lugosi... and I wish to commit myself.

    Nurse : For what reason?

    Bela Lugosi : I have been a drug addict for twenty years. I NEED HELP!

  • Bela Lugosi : Beware. Beware. Beware of the big, green dragon that sits on your doorstep. He eats little boys, puppy dog tails and big, fat snails. Beware. Take care. Beware.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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