D2: The Mighty Ducks (1994)
Dwayne: Where I come from we treat ladies with respect!
Connie: Thank you, Dwayne, but I'm no lady. I'M A DUCK!
Lester Averman: Aw, I smell something.
Goldberg: It wasn't me!
Portman: [proudly] No, it was me!
Michele MacKay: And when the wind blows hard and the sky is black...
[along with the team]
Michele MacKay: Ducks fly together!
Coach Bombay: [to Jan] Hans couldn't make it?
Jan: Now don't get me started with that strudel-head. He went back to the old country. He wanted to see our mother. She loved him more, you know.
[after the final Iceland vs. USA game]
Wolf Stansson: Gunnar... you lost it for me.
Gunnar Stahl: [in disgust] You lost it for yourself!
[turning to his teammates]
Gunnar Stahl: Let's shake their hands!
[benches clear... Gunnar approaches Charlie]
Gunnar Stahl: Good work, Captain Duck!
Charlie: Thanks, Gunnar!
Dwayne: [to Goldberg] Don't listen to him.
Ken Wu: Besides, that guy will kill you.
Goldberg: Well, at least hold me back like i'm gonna kill him. Come on, man! Let me at him! Let me go! You want some of this? Let me at him!
Adam: [Sanderson slashes Adam] Aaaaaaah!
[the Ducks scream at the referee for a penalty call]
Coach Bombay: Sit down. Sit down. Sit down. Hey ref, why don't you call something for crying out loud? He almost took his arm off!
Referee at Games: [sends Sanderson to the penalty box] That'll be two minutes.
Olalf Sanderson: Two minutes well worth it.
Ken Wu: Get in the box, you big goon!
Fulton: [after viewing Russ's signature shot] What the heck kinda shot was that?
Russ Tyler: Ah, you like that, huh?
[cleans his stick]
Fulton: [still impressed] Yeah!
Russ Tyler: That's my knuckle-puck. It's hard to be accurate, but it drives goalies crazy.
Russ Tyler: Yeah, high-five some more. Man, my little brother could score on these guys.
Jesse: Man, why don't you go and bother him, then?
Jesse: Haha, I ain't even got a little brother.
Coach Bombay: Hey, Jesse. Quit gabbin' and get out there on the ice. Show me you want it, son. Let's go.
Russ Tyler: Yeah, show us you want it, son. Let's go!
Coach Bombay: Haven't you guys been training in the off-season?
Lester Averman: You know, I knew we forgot something.
Russ Tyler: Hey, yo, Team U.S.A., what you gonna do today, a million jumpin' jacks?
Portman: Man, this kid's crazier than me. Just forget him!
Jesse: Man, I'm gettin' sick of you!
Russ Tyler: And I'm getting sick of seeing the U.S.A. represented by a bunch of whining babies!
Jesse: Well, too bad you can't back up that mouth!
Lester Averman: Here with us, Greg Goldberg, goaltender for Team USA. Greg, what's it gonna take to beat these feisty Icelanders, tonight?
Goldberg: I think it will take a supreme individual effort, by me, Greg Goldberg.
Goldberg: Have no fear, Goldberg is here. Hey, man, there was nothing on that. How 'bout a real shot? Hey, Paison, meatballs are slowing ya down? Hey, uhh... how do you say in Italiano, wussy?
Coach Bombay: Ah, we've got a game against Italy, so I'll talk to you right after we win.
Russ Tyler: Hey, Goldberg! I bet if that puck was a cheeseburger, you'd stop it! Ha-ha-ha!
Lester Averman: [about the Iceland players] We can't make it. iceland's bigger, stronger, faster. They got more facial hair.
Connie Moreau: [talking about Luis Mendoza] Good lookin' skater.
Les Averman: Very good looking. What do you think, Guy?
Guy Germaine: Shut up, Averman.
[pushes Averman on the ice]
Coach Bombay: I've had a lot of distractions since I've been here in L.A.
[holds up a cardboard cutout of himself]
Coach Bombay: This is a distraction.
[the Ducks snigger. Bombay lights a match and throws it into a barrel]
Coach Bombay: This is a fire-in-a-barrel.
[places the cutout in the barrel]
Coach Bombay: This is a distraction-in-a-fire-in-a-barrel. Any questions?
Coach Bombay: [as he and Coach Stansson are playing hockey against each other] One more post and you go home crying. By the way, Stanson, you owe me a beachball.
Coach Bombay: [Bombay is eating ice cream with the Iceland trainer, Maria] I thought Iceland was covered with ice.
María: No, it's very green!
Coach Bombay: I thought Greenland was green!
María: Greenland is covered with ice, and Iceland is very nice!
Jan: I see you met my new apprentice.
Charlie: Jan told me you did this job when you were my age.
Coach Bombay: That's right, and I hope he pays you more than he paid me.
Charlie: You got paid?
Jan: Eat, everybody, before the hasenpfeffer gets cold.
[Three Hawks set a trap for the Ducks]
Norbert: Here they come. I love this.
McGill: They are so stupid.
Larson: One order of shredded Duck coming up.
deep voice: [off-screen] They won't know what hit 'em.
Norbert: I know. Who said that?
[Hearing thundering footsteps, the Hawks turn, coming face-to-face with Fulton]
Fulton: [deep voice] Hi, guys.
[Team USA is having an outside class with Michelle McKay]
Michele MacKay: Ancient Greece was the beginning of Western civilization. You see in Greece, they didn't have professional sports or Wheaties boxes, so the athletes competed for another reason. Anybody?
Don Tibbles: Today, it's Wheaties boxes. Tomorrow, it's video games, action figures. The sky's the limit.
[Seeing Dwayne for the first time]
Dwayne: Yee-haw! How's everybody? Y'all ready to play some puck?
Goldberg: Hey, look, it's Hop-Along Gretzky!
Portman: [as he takes the ice] Showtime!
Coach Bombay: That guy's a teenager?
Portman: [singing] Don't you know that everything's on fire?
Don Tibbles: Uh, yeah, hormones.
Coach Bombay: He's a goon!
Wolf Stansson: What happened to freedom of speech? Isn't this America?
Charlie: [to Adam] Hey, you got a girl in the stands?
Adam: Scouts, man. Look at them.
Charlie: Don't worry about scouts, Adam. Just do your best.
Fulton: Lil' tuneage to go to sleep by?
[Fulton turns on loud rock music]
Dean: Sweet dreams, dude!
Coach Bombay: What it is, it's a loafer. And we'll call it the Air-Bombay Loafer; "For kids who want to coach!"
Lester Averman: [to Portman] Hey, is that a tattoo? Is it real?
Dean: Get away from me.
Lester Averman: Yes, sir.
[at the Junior Goodwill Games, when Team USA is on the Podium]
Wolf Stansson: Team USA's going down, that's where you're going.
Les Averman: [to the Iceland team] You guys wanna ease up a little bit? Just thought I'd ask.
Coach Bombay: We have a goalie, Goldberg.
Goldberg: Alright, bring 'em, man! I'm ready for this. Show 'em what you got. I'm the man! I'm the man!
[falls into leg split]
Goldberg: Ohh! Uh. Uh, help.
Russ Tyler: He dissed you bad, G.
Jesse: Man! Come here, man!
Russ Tyler: Haha! Bye-bye! Have a nice day!
Jan: Gordon, when I told the Goodwill committee who you were, I did not talk to them about your good looks. I didn't tell them you would win at any cost. I told them you were a man who loves the game. And I told them you were a man who could teach the kids... about more than just about winning or losing. I told them you were the Minnesota Miracle Man, and only you could teach them to fly. So be that man. Be that man, Gordon.
Game Announcer: [calling the game] The referee's taking Robertson over to the penalty box. What are they gonna call this penalty? It's two minutes for roping?
Jan: [to Gordon] So what's your plan? Have you talked to Ducksworth?
Coach Bombay: No, no. I'm not a lawyer, Jan, I'm a player.
Jan: But your injury, it requires rest and time.
Coach Bombay: Yeah, time is something I don't have a whole lot of. I was this close to the NHL, Jan. I was back in the game and, man, I was alive.
Coach Bombay: Well, coaching the Ducks was one of the best things in my life, but I can't make a living coaching Pee Wee hockey.
Jan: Where there's a way, there must be a will. My hockey suppliers tell me Team U.S.A. is still without a coach for the Junior Goodwill Games.
Coach Bombay: Sounds great. Give 'em a call for me, Jan. Maybe I can sharpen their skates.
Jan: Don't knock skate sharpening.
Coach Bombay: I know. It's a great skill, Jan, but i don't want to spend the rest of my life sharpening skates in this rinky-dink town. I want something better. Something bigger.
Charlie: [about Team USA's jerseys] That's nice, Coach, but we're Ducks. This stuff says "Hendrix" all over it.
Coach Bombay: Well, yeah, they're our sponsors, Charlie.
Charlie: So what? Can't we be U.S.A. Ducks? Or at least keep our own colors?
Coach Bombay: It's business stuff, Charlie. Don't worry about it.
Coliseum Reporter: Coach Bombay, the Vikings from Iceland are the heavy favorite. Their coach has already guaranteed victory. How are you gonna handle them?
Coach Bombay: Um... hard work. I think our team is ready to go up against the best in the world. We're not worried about 'em. Iceland may be tough, but, uh... we're Team U.S.A. and we're going all the way.
Coach Bombay: [to Coach Stansson] We haven't formally met. I'm Gordon Bombay, coach of Team U.S.A.
Wolf Stansson: I know my competition. I know you.
Coach Bombay: Yeah, but do you know the real me?
Wolf Stansson: You're full of confidence. Cocky. American. I like that. It will make our triumph even more enjoyable.
Olalf Sanderson: [after getting sent to the penalty box for injuring Banks] In my country, we call that a love tap.
Don Tibbles: [to Gordon after Team USA loses to Iceland] Twelve to one, huh? Twelve to one. You think Hendrix is interested in backing a loser?
[to a person that walks by]
Don Tibbles: Hey, how are ya?
Don Tibbles: You're only good to us if you win.
Coach Bombay: Don, I'm... I've... I...
Don Tibbles: I've been good to you, man. I gave ya a real shot. A real shot to be somebody and this is how you repay me.
Coach Bombay: We just didn't have the magic tonight.
Don Tibbles: Well, you better get the damn magic and you better get it fast or I'm out of a job, and you're on your way back to Palookaville, Minnesota shoveling snow and sharpening skates. Have a nice night.
Coach Bombay: Twelve to one. Twelve to one. You know what word comes to mind when you think of that? Hmm? Pathetic! You guys were brought here to play hockey.
Jesse: What about you?
Coach Bombay: What about me, Jesse?
Julie Gaffney: Coach Stansson knew everything about us. They were ready for us.
Luis Mendoza: And you spend your time driving around in convertibles talking to all those sponsor fools
Fulton: Or hanging with the Iceland lady. We saw you two Saturday night.
Dean: Eating ice cream with the enemy, huh, Coach?
Michele MacKay: [to Gordon when the team doesn't show up for practice] I canceled their practice.
Coach Bombay: What are you talking about? Where are they?
Michele MacKay: They needed a day off. Trust me.
Coach Bombay: I need 'em here to practice!
Michele MacKay: Well, they need to rest. You've been running those children ragged. They can barely stay awake in class. They're calling you Captain Blood.
Coach Bombay: I am preparing these kids for battle. Can you understand that? We win the gold, we go on to bigger things.
Michele MacKay: Bigger things?
Coach Bombay: That's right!
Michele MacKay: Please! Gordon, it's a game! You said it yourself. Games should be fun. Remember?
Jan: [to Gordon] Who was that man in the suit with the wet hair? Was it raining?
Coach Bombay: It's a style, Jan.
Jan: You looked like you just got out of the shower.
Coach Bombay: You came 2,000 miles to make fun of me? You could have done this over the phone.