Blank Check (1994)
Comuter Voice: Ralph and Damien sleep butt to face, butt to face, butt to face...
Juice: [sarcastically] Now that's a display of fine driving, right there.
Biderman: You know, Carl, it might be easier just to steal another million dollars.
Henry: Get yourself some flowers, good clothes, good food, a car, and learn how to use words like 'non-committal', and you are a date and a half, Man.
Fred Waters: Here's six bucks. You can have fun all day on that.
Preston Waters: You don't get out much, do you Dad?
Carl Quigley: What's with your voice, pal?
Comuter Voice: [over phone] Sore throat-itus.
Biderman: What do you expect?
Carl Quigley: What I expect is that if I give someone a million dollars and I come back the next day, I find the million dollars. That's what I expect!
Biderman: Carl, I'm not a magician okay.
Carl Quigley: So you can make it disappear but you can't make it reappear is that it?
Preston Waters: When will I see you again?
Shay Stanley: Why don't you give me a call in, let's say 10 years.
Preston Waters: Five.
Shay Stanley: Seven.
Preston Waters: Six.
Shay Stanley: Okay it's a date.
Butch: I think this guy's been drinking vodka.
Carl Quigley: I have not! I don't drink! Seriously, I don't!
Henry: You know what they say about gold.
Preston Waters: He who has the gold makes the rules?
Henry: No, no, no, no, no, no. A fool and his gold are soon parted.
Preston Waters: What does that mean?
Henry: I don't know. It's an old saying, Man. Like, there's more than one way to skin a cat, you hear that one? Who skins cats? Why would you skin a cat? And there is not more than one way to skin a cat, there is only one way! You grab the cat and rip the skin off. What's a number two way? Do you put a hose up the cat's butt and he gets so bloated that he skins himself? Does he have a piece of velcro under his butt there, we just unvelcro him? No.
[the guys are driving around in Quigley's Jaguar and spot Preston in the park]
Biderman: That's him. The boy with the backpack.
Carl Quigley: Go, go, go!
Juice: The sign says 'no cars allowed'!
Carl Quigley: Just drive!
Preston Waters, Henry: Quigley!
Sandra Waters: What do you want for your birthday?
Preston Waters: Money so I can pay to have Ralph and Damien knocked off.
[Carl, Bederman and Juice are at a waterslide looking for Preston. They're studying a surveilence photo of him]
Carl Quigley: See anyone that looks like him?
Juice: Yeah he looks like him. She looks like him. Oh look over there! There goes his little twin brother. You give me one picture and expect me to find him among all these kids? You must be crazy, I'm gonna get on the waterslide.
Shay Stanley: You know, a million dollars doesn't buy all that much these days.
Preston Waters: You think he should've asked for more?
Shay Stanley: What exactly does Mr. Macintosh do anyway?
Preston Waters: A little of this and a little of that. You know.
Shay Stanley: No I'm afraid I don't. Is he an entrepreneur?
Preston Waters: No, he's American.
Henry: Kill two birds with one stone, you heard that one? You know anybody who's actually killed one bird with one stone? Kids try it all the time. You can't hit a bird with a stone unless you have a giant rock and a little baby bird. Well anyway, a fool and his gold are soon parted. I guess that means that if you're a fool and soon your gold is gone and once it's gone, it's outta there, it's dust, it's vapour, it is no more, you are living in Brokesville, unless you have Macintosh's kind of money.
Preston Waters: What if you don't?
Henry: Then I guess you find out who your real friends are.
Drunk party goer: I want to see Macintosh.
Party Guest: [stuffing face with sweets] I just want to pig out.
Carl Quigley: I worked hard to steal that money and you went and gave it to some zit faced little kid?
[Fred Waters is determining how much to fill in the blank check Preston got from Grandma]
Sandra Waters: How much money did you get last year?
Preston Waters: A thousand.
Fred Waters: Ten dollars!
Preston Waters: Wait, Dad, what about inflation?
Fred Waters: Okay, I'll make it eleven.
Carl Quigley: So where you gonna find a kid, Mr. Family Man?
Carl Quigley: You want me to advertise? Is that it?
Juice: You're in a lot of trouble today little man.
Carl Quigley: Yes, because today I have been drinking vodka.
[looking over the dinner table at Mr. Macintosh's party]
Preston Waters: There was supposed to be ice cream and pizza. What's going on?
Henry: This could've been a pizza, you know, before it was run over by a couple of trucks.
Juice: I had a dog once that was hit by a train.
Carl Quigley: Thanks for sharing.
Juice: Old King Cole, we called him. He was a merry old soul.
Henry: I'm waiting for a client.
Preston Waters: But I'm your client.
Henry: Right, yeah, and I'm Madonna. Sorry, Kid, the boss doesn't like me taking baseball cards as payment so if you wanna ride in this here limo you need some buckeroos, buckerinis, some moolah, some deniro, some frog skins, much similar to the money... In fact identical to the money you've given me now. I was just kidding about being Madonna. The name's Henry.
Carl Quigley: [sneaks up and cuts the line to Biederman's phone cord, interrupting his call]
Biderman: [turns around in fear] Carl Quigley.
Carl Quigley: [twirls the scissors smugly] You don't look to happy to see me.
[now points with scissors]
Carl Quigley: You also pointed at me in court. That hurt.
Juice: [smooth] Listen lady, you're going to have to take them pearls off on your necklace.
[now reasonable, but says it like he's saying it for the 5th time instead of the 1st]
Juice: But if you'd be so reasonable to cash this check in for me, I'll be on my way.
Udowitz: [looks at check] What do you want? A million bucks?
Juice: As a matter of fact I do.
Udowitz: Go see Biederman
Carl Quigley: [observing Preston's castle] So what do you think?
Juice: Looks very nice.
[sees control pad for video game]
Juice: Yo ho, what's that?
Carl Quigley: [picks it up] I don't know. You two never saw one.
[shows it to Biderman\Juice]
Biderman: [shakes head] I have no idea.
Juice: [shrugs] Beats me.
Carl Quigley: Hey, Preston
[showing control pad]
Carl Quigley: What's this?
Preston Waters: [nervous] Well you turn the little knob, and...
[making a short depth movement smashes the control pad against the cement floor. Another suspense sound follows as the thing breaks in two but itsy bitsy pieces go bouncing/rolling off]
Juice: You know kid, you shouldn't have let us in. All your little toys could get broken.
Carl Quigley: [cracks knuckles happily] Kid, where's Macintosh?
Preston Waters: [bumps into Juice who gets distracted by a cute lady]
Juice: YO MAN! Why don't you watch where you're going? How could you mess up a wonderful view for me?
Preston Waters: Sorry.
[tries to get back pack]
Juice: [picks it up but gives it back] What are you doing out of school, yo? You know you should be in school.
Carl Quigley: [knocks on door]
Preston Waters: [runs to it] Henry. I knew you'd come.
[opens it to see Juice, Quiqly, and Biederman, followed by a ghastly suspense sound]
Carl Quigley: Happy birthday little boy. I'm here to blow out your candles!
[the trio forces Preston inside the complex as Carl slams the door and then twists the key in the lock so hard he damages it!]
Preston Waters: [panicking]
Carl Quigley: What's your hurry? Got a big check to cash?
Carl Quigley: [opens suitcase full of money] Oh, hello beautiful. Did you miss me?
[kisses a wad of money]
Carl Quigley: Ok, just tell me where my money is?
Preston Waters: I - I spent it.
Carl Quigley: All of it?
Preston Waters: [nods weakly] All of it.
Carl Quigley: How could you spend... a million dollars... in just six days?
Juice: You must have not been shopping lately.
Yvonne: [Preston showing her money] Oh my gosh will you look at that! Look at all that money! You've got to be careful. Someone could just rip you off.
Biderman: You can use these checks. They're temporary.
Carl Quigley: Thank you, Edward.
Biderman: Like our relationship.
Biderman: [after breaking into the Waters' house] Looks like no one's home.
Carl Quigley: Shut up, Wienerman!
Carl Quigley: Where is he?
Butch: I don't know, but he might be down the street at Mr. Macintosh's. That's his boss.
Carl Quigley: Macintosh. Come on!
Juice: You know, I do like what they have done with this color.
Biderman: Wait. Quigley sent you?
Juice: That's right.
Biderman: What about the kid?
Juice: What kid, man?
Biderman: THE KID! The kid with the backpack!
Juice: Look here, man, I'm tired of telling you this.
[gestures with his index finger]
Juice: But if you don't give me the money for that check, I guarantee you there's a bullet with your name on it in this chamber.
Biderman: The kid with the backpack. The kid with the backpack! The backpack! The backpack! Shit! Oh, my god!
Henry: You wanna move that horse? What is this? Bonanza?