Friends (TV Series 1994–2004) Poster


Courteney Cox: Monica Geller, Monica Geller-Bing



  • [Monica knocks] 

    Chandler : You can't come in.

    Monica : Why not?

    Chandler : Because, uh, Ross is naked.

    Ross : What?

    Chandler : Well, I couldn't tell her *I* was naked. She's allowed to see me naked.

    Ross : Why does *anyone* have to be naked?

  • Phoebe : Look, I had a hard life. My mother was killed by a drug dealer.

    Monica : Phoebe, your mom killed herself.

    Phoebe : She was a drug dealer.

  • Monica : Guys can fake it? Unbelievable! The one thing that's ours!

  • Monica : Now come on, Chandler, the Miami Vice soundtrack? Really?

    Chandler : They were just giving it away at the mall...

    [Monica stares] 

    Chandler : exchange for money.

  • Monica : You wanted it to be a surprise.

    Chandler : Oh, my God.

    Monica : Chandler, in all my life I never thought I would be so lucky as to fall in love with my best, my best...


    Monica : There's a reason why girls don't do this.

    Chandler : Okay, okay I'll do it. I thought, wait I can do this, I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, that you make me happier than I ever thought I could be and if you let me I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. Monica, will you marry me?

    Monica : Yes.

  • Chandler : We're getting a house.

    Monica : We're getting a baby.

    Chandler : We're growing up.

    Monica : We sure are.

    Chandler : So who's going to tell them?

    Monica : Not it.

    Chandler : Not it. Damn it!

  • [Joey just got ordained via the internet so that he could perform Monica and Chandler's wedding] 

    Joey : Hey, I started working on what I'm going to say at the ceremony. Wanna hear it?

    Monica , Chandler : Yeah.

    Joey : We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share.

    [Monica and Chandler look impressed] 

    Joey : It is a love based of giving and receiving as well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving, we too can share and love and have... and receive.


    Joey : Okay, you guys, I've got a little more written... are you ready?

    Chandler : Yeah, yeah. Okay.

    Joey : When I think of the love that these two givers and receivers share, I cannot help but envy the lifetime ahead of having and loving and giving... and then I can't think of a good word for right here.

    Monica : How bout receiving?

    Joey : Yes!

  • Monica : I'm Rachel. I love Ross. I hate Ross. I love Ross. I hate Ross.

    Rachel : I'm Monica. I can't get a boyfriend so I'll stumble across the hall and sleep with the first guy I find there.

  • Monica : I think I'd be great in a war. I'd, like, get all the medals.

    Chandler : Before or after you're executed by your own troops?

  • Monica : Rach, it's the Visa card people.

    Rachel : Oh, God, ask them what they want.

    Monica : [on the phone]  Could you please tell me what this is in reference to? Yes, hold on.

    [to Rachel] 

    Monica : Um, they say there's been some unusual activity on your account.

    Rachel : But I haven't used my card in weeks.

    Monica : That is the unusual activity.

  • Phoebe : I'm going to get a coffee. Anybody want anything?

    Monica : I'll have a latte.

    Ross : I'll have a blueberry muffin, with a decaf.

    Chandler : I'll have a bagel with a little...

    Phoebe : You know I was just being polite.

  • [Re: "If you had to give up sex or food, which would you pick?"] 

    Monica : Sex!

    Chandler : Seriously. Answer faster.

    Monica : I'm sorry, sweetie. When she said "sex" I wasn't thinking of sex with you.

    Chandler : It's like a big hug.

    Phoebe : Ross, how about you? Sex or food?

    Ross : Sex!

    Phoebe : What about sex or dinosaurs?

    Ross : My God, it's like Sophie's Choice.

    Phoebe : Joey, if you had to give up sex or food, which would you pick?

    Joey : I don't know it's too hard.

    Rachel : Come on, you have to answer.

    Joey : Okay... sex. No, food. No, uh... I want both! I want girls on bread!

  • Monica : [chasing after him]  Chandler. It happens to lots of guys. You-you-you were probably tired, you had a lot of champagne, don't worry about it.

    Chandler : [motioning with his hands]  I'm not worried, I'm uh, I'm fascinated. Y'know it's like uh, Biology. Which is funny because in high school I uh, I-I failed Biology and tonight Biology failed me.

  • Monica : [the Friends are at the beach]  Okay, just don't go swimming right after you eat.

    Chandler : [to Joey]  You know that's not really true.

    Joey : Try telling that to my Uncle Vinnie.

    Chandler : Why? What happened to him?

    Joey : Nothing; he just really believes that.

  • Monica : Hey. Where's Joey?

    Chandler : Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. Do you think that was wrong?

  • Monica : Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent?

    Joey : I'd probably kill myself.

    Monica : Excuse me?

    Joey : Hey, if "Little Joey"'s dead, then I got no reason to live.

    Ross : Uh, Joey... Omnipotent.

    Joey : You are? Ross, I'm sorry.

  • Monica : Whose little ball of paper is this?

    Chandler : Oh, it's mine. I wrote a note to myself, and then I realized I didn't need, so I balled it up...

    [notices Monica's angry glare] 

    Chandler : And now I wish I was dead.

  • [Upon hearing Ross practicing the bagpipe for their wedding] 

    Monica : Why must your family be Scottish?

    Chandler : Why must your family be *Ross*?

  • Monica : You don't like the game, because you suck at it.

    Chandler : I don't suck at it. It sucks. And you suck.

  • Monica : Anyway, are you gonna get a handyman to install all this stuff?

    Rachel : No, I was going to do this all by myself.

    Joey : [laughs]  You're gonna do it?

    Rachel : Yeah. Why, you don't think a woman can do this?

    Joey : Oh, women can. You... can't.

  • [a ritual to get rid of bad-boyfriend karma] 

    Phoebe : Okay, now we need the sage branches and the sacramental wine.

    Monica : All I have is oregano and a Fresca.

    Phoebe : That's okay.

    [Adds them] 

    Phoebe : All right, now we need the semen of a righteous man.

    Rachel : OK, Pheebs, you know what? If we had that, we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place.

  • Monica : Joey, did you actually interview her before you asked her to move in?

    Joey : Of course I did.

    Monica : Well, what did you ask her?

    Joey : 'When can you move in?'.

  • Rachel : I'm not someone who goes after a guy five minutes after he's divorced.

    Monica : No, you go after them five minutes before they get married...

  • Monica : Are you sure you peed on the stick right?

    Rachel : How many ways are there to do that?

  • Joey : Ooh-ooh-ooh. Are we opening presents?

    Monica : No. No. I shouldn't have even opened these. I mean I - Joey, I am out of control. Joey, you have to do me a favor. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, please do not let me open another present. Okay?

    Joey : Okay.

    Monica : Give me one more.

    Joey : Okay.

    [hands her one] 

  • Joey : I am telling this to Rachel.

    Monica : No, Joey.

    Joey : Unless...

    Chandler : Unless what?

    Joey : Unless you name your first born after me.

    Chandler : What? Why?

    Joey : Because, I may never have kids. Somebody's gonna have to carry on my family name.

    Chandler : Your family name is Tribianni.


    Joey : Oh ho ho. You almost had me there.

  • Monica : Hi.

    Chandler : You are not gonna believe what I did today.

    Monica : Well, clearly you didn't shower or shave.

    Chandler : I got good. I played this game all day and now I rule. They should change the name to Ms. Chandler.


    Chandler : Although, I hope they don't.

    Monica : Wait a minute, you staid home all day playing Ms. Pacman, while I was at work like some kind of chump?

    Chandler : Yeah, and I got all the top ten scores and erased Phoebe off the board. High five!

    Monica : What is the matter with your hand?

    Chandler : Well, I've been playing for like eight hours. It'll loosen up, come on check out the scores. Oh, and also look at the initials, their dirty words.

    Monica : Chandler, why would you do that?

    Chandler : Because it's awesome.

    Monica : You think this is clever?

    Chandler : Well, they only give you three letters, so after A.S.S., it is a bit of a challenge.

    Monica : Wait a minute, this one's not dirty.

    Chandler : Well, it is, when you put it together with that one.

    Monica : Oh, well, if you don't clear this off, you wont be getting those from me. Ben's coming tomorrow over to play this game, this can't be there.

    Chandler : Come on, he wont even know what they mean.

    Monica : He's seven, not stupid.

    Chandler : Have you talked to him lately?

    Monica : All right, I'm just going to unplug it...

    Chandler : No, no, no, if you'll unplug it, then there will be nothing to show from my day. It would be like I was at work!

    [Monica unplugs it] 

    Chandler : Look at that, look at that, it's still there, this thing must have a primitive ROM chip!

    Monica : You gotta beat your scores.

    Chandler : With the claw?

    Monica : Fine, I'll do it. We gotta get this off the screen. Carol and Susan are still upset that you taught him "Pull my finger".

    Chandler : Pull my finger... my hand is messed up!

  • Ross : Oh, really? Well, I guess Monica should know about Atlantic City.

    Chandler : Du-ude!

    Monica : What happened in Atlantic City?

    Ross : Well, Chandler and I are in a bar...

    Chandler : Did you not hear me say, "Du-ude"?

    Ross : ...and this girl is making eyes at Chandler, okay? So after a while he just goes over to her and, uh, after a minute or two, I see them kissing. Now, I know what you're thinking. Chandler's not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls. And you're right. Chandler's not the type of guy just goes to bars and makes out with girls.

    Monica : You kissed a guy? Oh my God.

    Chandler : In my defense, it was dark and he was a very pretty guy.

  • Chandler : My dad slept with Mr. Gribaldi.

    Monica : Who's Mr. Gribaldi?

    Chandler : DOES IT MATTER?

  • [in Barbados, Rachel runs into Monica and Chandler's room in the morning and opens the curtains, it has been raining a lot] 

    Monica : The sun is out!

    Chandler : [squinting in pain]  Hey, remember when I had corneas?

  • Monica : Chandler. You're smoking again?

    Chandler : Well, yesterday I was smoking again, and today... I'm smoking still...

  • [Chandler enters with a terrible hang-over] 

    Monica : How ya doin'?

    Chandler : Well, my apartment's not there anymore because I drank it.

  • Joey : You two were having sex.

    Monica : No, we weren't.

    Joey : Yeah, you were. I can see it by the back of Chandler's hair.

    [to Chandler] 

    Joey : You are so lazy, can't you get on top for once?

  • Monica : What you guys don't understand is, for us, kissing is as important as any part of it.

    Joey : Yeah, right!... Y'serious?

    Phoebe : Oh, yeah!

    Rachel : Everything you need to know is in that first kiss.

    Monica : Absolutely.

    Chandler : Yeah, I think for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening act, y'know? I mean it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out.

    Ross : Yeah, and-and it's not that we don't like the comedian, it's that-that... that's not why we bought the ticket.

    Chandler : The problem is, though, after the concert's over, no matter how great the show was, you girls are always looking for the comedian again, y'know? I mean, we're in the car, we're fighting traffic... basically just trying to stay awake.

  • Monica : Okay. Wait-wait-wait. Shhh.

    [Bangs on her glass with a spoon to make a toast] 

    Monica : Okay, umm, I just wanna say that... I love you guys so-so much and-and thank you for being here on my special night.

    [Chandler clears his throat] 

    Monica : Our special night. I mean it just wouldn't be my-our-our night, if you all weren't here to celebrate with me-us-Damnit.

  • Phoebe : [Rachel's hormones are raging]  She's going through her fourth month of pregnancy. Remember when I was in my fourth month?

    Monica : Yes, that was the Evander Holyfield period. You know, you were so hard up, you even came on to me.

    Phoebe : Did not!

    Monica : Yes, you did.

    [puts on a seductive look] 

    Monica : Listen, Phoebe, I could have had you if I had wanted you.

    Phoebe : Oh, yeah? Well, bring it on.

    [blows Monica a kiss] 

    Rachel : Guys! Stop it! This is even turning me on!

  • Chandler : The only way I would've said six would have been if I had said, "Let's meet at seven, not at six."

    Monica : The only way I would've said seven, would have been if I had said, 'Wow, my boyfriend is such a wiseass... Seven!'

  • Chandler : You know, I'm really glad we decided not to sleep together before the wedding.

    Monica : Me too.

    Chandler : You know, I was, uh, thinking. If you and I had a big fight and broke up for a few hours...

    Monica : Yeah?

    Chandler : Technically we could have sex again. So, what do you think... bossy and domineering?

    Monica : The wedding's off, sloppy and immature.

    [they get up] 

    Monica : Oh, wait. We can't, my cousin Cassie is in the guest room.

    Chandler : Well, get rid of her, obsessive and shrill.

    Monica : Shrill? The wedding's back on.

  • Rachel : [walking out of the bathroom]  Mon, I'm gonna to check my messages.

    Chandler : And you thought of that in there?

    Monica : Well, nature called and she wanted to see who else did.

  • Phoebe : I remember the day I got my first paycheck. There was a cave-in in one of the mines, and eight people were killed.

    Monica : Wow, you - you worked in a mine?

    Phoebe : No, I worked in a Dairy Queen. Why?

  • Monica : Pack your things, we're going to Vegas.

    Chandler : You mean, we're just gonna elope? This is great. We're gonna save so much money. And, no more pain-in-the-ass planning.

    [Monicas stares at him] 

    Chandler : Oh, we're not going to elope. We have so much money, could our wedding please be bigger?

  • [Looking through the ads in a newspaper] 

    Monica : There are no jobs for me.

    Joey : Wait, here's one. Um, would you be willing to cook naked?

    Monica : There's an ad for a naked chef?

    Joey : No. But if you'd be willing to COOK naked, you might be willing to DANCE naked.

  • Chandler : [Monica thinks their maid stole her pants and bra]  Monica, come on do you really think that she would steal from us, then come back and wear it right in front of you?

    Monica : Don't you see? It's the PERFECT crime!

    Chandler : [acting as outraged as her]  She must have been planning this for years!

  • Monica : Okay, I've got a leg, three breasts, and a wing.

    Chandler : How do you find clothes that fit?

  • Monica : This has been like my dream ever since I got my first Easy-Bake Oven and opened "Easy Monica's Bakery".

  • Monica : [about Chandler's mother's new boyfriend]  So, how did you two meet?

    Nora Bing : Well, actually, it's a funny story...

    Chandler : Funny, "ha ha"? Or, funny-

    [makes a gun with his hand and pretends to blow his brains out] 

  • [Rachel is trying to stall Monica from getting ready] 

    Rachel : I'll just become a lesbian

    Monica : Any woman would be lucky to have you

  • Monica : Did you just smell my hair?

    Pete : No.

    Monica : Oh my God, you still have feelings for me, don't you?

    Pete : No I don't.

    Monica : None at all?

    Pete : Okay I love you, is that so wrong?

  • Monica : I'll never have a first kiss again.

    Phoebe : You'll have a last kiss.

  • Monica : Chandler, you're panicking!

    Chandler : Uh huh! Join me, won't you?

  • [Monica and Richard are about to tell Monica's parents about their relationship] 

    Monica : Can't we tell your parents first?

    Richard : They're both dead.

    Monica : Oh, you are *so* lucky.

  • Rachel : How do we end up with these jerks? We're good people.

    Monica : Maybe we're like some kind of magnets.

    Phoebe : I know I am. That's why I can't wear a digital watch.

    Monica : There's more beer right?

  • Joey : Hey Mon, I got a question for you.

    Monica : Okay, for the bizillionth time, yes I see other women in the shower at the gym, and no I don't look.

  • Monica : Chandler, it's okay. You don't have to be so macho all the time.

    Chandler : I'm not macho.

    Monica : You're right. I don't know what I was thinking.

  • Ross : My dad wanted to know if you wanted to play racquetball with us.

    Monica : Wow. That's great. Dad must really like you, he doesn't ask just anyone to play.

    Ross : Yeah and he didn't really ask for you, he asked for Chancy, I assumed he meant you.

    Chandler : Well, did-did you correct him?

    Ross : No, I-I thought it would be more fun this way.

  • [Monica and Chandler come back from London] 

    Phoebe : Oh, my god. You had sex.

    Monica : No, we didn't.

    Phoebe : [to Chandler]  I know YOU didn't, I'm saying she did.

  • Rachel : I mean, is that woman capable of talking about anything else but sex?

    Joey : Yeah sure. Well, you know earlier she was talking about geography.

    Monica : Joey, she was listing the countries she's done it in.

    Joey : Well, I think we all learned something.

  • Monica : I can't believe my dad saw us having sex. He didn't make it to one of my piano recitals, but this he sees.

  • Joey : She's so great. She kisses like my mom cooks.

    Monica : I am so glad you said "cooks".

  • [Joey has to keep everyone in his apartment] 

    Judy Geller : Well, we'll get going.

    Jack Geller : Bye.

    [both leave] 

    Monica : Hey. How come they get to leave?

    Joey : Hey, Jack is a great man. He fought for our country.

    Monica : No, he didn't. He pretended to be a Quaker to get out of Korea.

  • Monica : What about friends of your grandmother's? Wouldn't they have the recipe?

    Phoebe : Well, you know I may have relatives in France who would know. My grandmother said she got the recipe from her grandmother,

    [trying to pronounce her name in French] 

    Phoebe : Nestlé Toulouse.

    Monica : What was her name?

    Phoebe : [again trying to pronounce it in French]  Nestlé Toulehouse.

    Monica : Nestle Toll House?

    Phoebe : Oh, you Americans always butcher the French language.

  • Monica : [Monica has refused to go out with Chandler]  Darn it! There's no more soda.

    Chandler : I'll go get some.

    Monica : Really?

    Chandler : Well, I would,


    Chandler : but I'm not your boyfriend!

  • Rachel : You don't just flit off to Vermont as soon as you meet someone.

    Monica : You flitted off to Vail as soon as you met Barry.

    Rachel : For once, could you not just remember every little thing?

  • Monica : [about the erogenous zones]  Now, most guys will hit uh, 1-2-3 and then go to 7 and set up camp.

    Chandler : That-that's bad?

    Rachel : Well if you go to Disneyland, you don't spend the whole day on the Materhorn.

    Chandler : Well you might if it were anything like 7.

  • [Chandler's drunk from having jello shots] 

    Monica : Stick out your tongue.

    Chandler : Take off your shirt.

  • Chandler : Now, honey, I know you don't like to relinquish control...

    Monica : Oh! Relinquish is just a fancy word for "lose"!

  • Ross : [on Monica's phone]  Yeah, Tony, hold on.

    [gets second line] 

    Ross : Hello? Yeah, she's right here. Hold on.

    [returns to second line] 

    Ross : Yeah, Tony I'll call you back. It's my sister's boyfriend.

    [switches back to second line] 

    Monica : Give me that.

    [into phone] 

    Monica : Hi sweetie. Before I forget, did I leave my diaphragm at your house?


    Monica : Oh, hi mom.

    [starts throwing things at Ross] 

  • Monica : So you wanna?

    Chandler : OK.


    Chandler : I can't.

    Monica : [Snaps]  Well you're not 18 anymore, but give it a minute.

    Chandler : I can't because of Emma.

    Monica : Oh, Emma, Sweetie, I forgot you were here.

  • Monica : [to everybody]  We have to talk.

    Phoebe : Oh, I'm getting a deja-vous. All right no I'm not.

    Monica : All right, we have to talk.

    Phoebe : There it is.

  • Monica : You can't fire me. I make your decisions and I say, "I'm not fired." Ha.

  • Monica : My motto is get out before they go down.

    Joey : That is so not my motto.

  • Joey : And look. A phone in the bathroom.

    Monica : Joey, don't ever call me from that phone.

  • Chandler : [dancing and singing]  She's on the other line, gonna call me back, she's on the other line, gonna call me back.

    Monica : Don't you still have to pee?

    Chandler : That's why I'm dancing.

  • Chandler : Where is Ross at? Hasn't he checked out yet?

    Monica : Are you kidding me? It's not 11:00 yet that means Ross still has 11 mins to check out of the hotel, and Ross has NEVER checked out of a hotel early.

    Rachel : Oh yeah that's right. One time Ross and I were at a hotel and we got a late check out... Ross was so happy it was the best sex we ever had!

    Phoebe : Ohhhhhhh!

    Rachel : That is until he screamed out RADISON at the end.

    Phoebe : Yeah that'll kill it.

  • Monica : Wow. You're a really good kisser.

    Chandler : Well, I have kissed more than four women.

  • Monica : Is this too cute? Lesbian wedding, chicken breasts.


    Monica : What? I'm not like I'm gonna put little nipples on them.

  • [talking about engagement presents for Monica and Chandler] 

    Rachel : Oh, y'know what you should get 'em? One of those little uh, portable CD players.

    Monica : Oh, I already have one.

    Phoebe : Not unless someone borrowed it and left it at the gynecologist.

    Rachel : Yeah, and-and-and by someone, she means Joey.

  • Phoebe : I think the most romantic song is the one that Elton John wrote for that guy from "who's the Boss?"

    Monica : Which one was that?

    Phoebe : You know, uh, "Hold me closer, Tony Danza... ".

  • Monica : Do you ever think about the future?

    Richard : Yeah, I think about the future.

    Monica : Am I in it?

    Richard : You are my future.

    Monica : Honey, you are about to get so lucky.

  • Monica : Come on, I see you looking at other women's breasts all the time!

    Chandler : You see that?

    Monica : Do you see this?

    [opens her mouth and stares] 

    Monica : Duhhhhhh?

  • Monica : [talking about the stock market]  My motto is, get out before they go down.

    Joey : That is so not my motto.

  • Monica : You broke a little girl's leg?

    Ross : I know. I feel horrible. Okay.

    Chandler : [reading the paper]  Says here that a Muppet got whacked on Sesame Street last night.

    [to Ross] 

    Chandler : Where exactly were you around ten-ish?

  • Monica : I am so jealous.

    Rachel : You guys are really just right there.Aren't you?

    Chandler : Yes... Right where?

    Monica : The beginning, where it's all sex and talking and sex and talking...

    Chandler : Yeah you gotta love the talking.

    Monica : And the sex?

    Chandler : Alright we hadn't have sex yet. Okay. What's the big deal?This is special. I want our love to grow before moving to the next level.

    Rachel : Oh, chandler, that is so nice.

    Ross : That is really nice... Lying! No way is that the reason.

    Rachel : Why? Just because you're not mature enough to understand something like that?

    Chandler : He's right. I'm totally lying.

    Monica : Then what is it?

    Chandler : Kathy's last boyfriend was Joey.

    Ross : And you're afraid you won't be able to fill his shoes?

    Chandler : No. I'm afraid I won't be able to make love as well as him.

    Ross : I was going for the metaphor.

    Chandler : Yes and I was saying the actual words.

    Monica : Big deal. So Joey has had a lot of girlfriends. That doesn't mean he's great in bed.

    Chandler : We share a wall. So either is great in bed, or she just liked to agree with him a lot.

    Monica : With you it's gonna be different. The sex is gonna be great because you guys are in love.

    Chandler : Yeah?

    Ross : Just go for it Chandler.

    Monica , Rachel : Yeah you should.

    Chandler : All right. All right. I'll sleep with my girlfriend. But I'm just doing it for you guys.

  • Monica : Can you help me fold these napkins?

    Phoebe : Sure.

    Monica : I'm gonna go across the hall and check on the yams.

    [Notices the way Pheobe is folding the napkins] 

    Monica : No... no honey... Not like that, we're not a barn dance. You wanna fold them like swans like I showed you at Christmas, remember?

    Phoebe : Yeah. It all came screaming back to me.

  • Monica : Look, Joey feels really bad for what happened. He thinks you hate him. He wants to move to Vermont.

    Ross : I don't hate him. It's just... You know what, I'll go talk to him. It's not his fault.

    Monica : Thank you. He already asked me where he could exchange his dollars for Vermont money.

  • Jack Geller : I remember when we first got engaged.

    Chandler : Oh, I don't think I ever heard that story.

    Monica : Oh dad, really you don't need to...

    Jack Geller : [ignoring her]  Well, I'd gotten Judy pregnant. I still don't know that happened.

    Judy Geller : [incredulous]  You don't know how that happened? Your dog thought my diaphragm was a chew toy.

  • Joey : Anyway, I started working on what I'm gonna say at the ceremony, you wanna hear it?

    Monica , Chandler : Yeah!

    Joey : Now, listen, it's just the first draft so... "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share. It is a love based on giving and receiving, as well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving, we too can share and love and have and receive."

    Chandler : [to Monica]  Shouldn't we call the spitter?

  • [Ross is wearing a white suit] 

    Monica : I like it even better on you than on Colonel Sanders.

    Ross : Look, I just came here to tell you guys something.

    Rachel : Oh. Was it how you invented the cotton gin?

  • [Reading Rachel's "romance novel."] 

    Monica : "Throbbing pens"? Don't wanna be around when he writes with those.

  • Monica : Is it me? Is it like I have a beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?

  • [Rachel, Phoebe and Joey have just found out that Chandler, Ross and Monica went to an after party with Hootie and the Blowfish] 

    Phoebe : What's on your neck?

    Monica : That? That would be the work of a Blowfish.

  • Monica : That's probably because their nerves are deadened from being so stupid.

  • Chandler : Where's Joey? His mom's on the phone.

    Monica : He's in the bathroom... I don't think you wanna go in there!

    Chandler : C'mon, we're roommates... Aaaaaaaagh! My eyes! My eyes!

  • Monica : Damn the jellyfish! Damn ALL the jellyfish!

  • Joey : Of course it was a line!

    Monica : Why? Why? Why would anyone do something like that?

    Ross : I assume we're looking for an answer more sophisticated than, "to get you into bed."

  • Monica : Look, Chandler, I feel really bad about this. Please have this bachelor party.

    Chandler : No.

    Monica : Stop being a baby and watch the hot woman get naked.

    Chandler : ...All right.

    Joey : YEAH.

    Chandler : But, I'm only doing this for you... And Joey.

    Monica : Ok, so who's going to be there?

    Chandler : No, no, no. Just Ross and Joey is humiliating enough.

    Ross : Well, actually, I have a date tonight.

    Chandler : Yeah, I understand. What kind of guy would blow off a date for a fake bachelor party.

    Joey : [on cell phone]  Yeah, baby, I'm not gonna make it tonight...

  • Monica : Whoa. Where you going in those pants? 1982?

  • [Trying to fix up Monica with a date] 

    Joey : Aw, c'mon, this guy's perfect for you.

    Monica : No, not after your cousin who could belch the alphabet.

  • Monica : I use my breasts to get people's attention!

    Rachel : We both do that!

  • Monica : So if your parents had stayed together you'd be able to answer a question like a normal person?

  • Monica : [trying to persuade Phoebe to live with Rachel]  Did you know she has like a hundred pairs of shoes, and she'll let you borrow them?

    Rachel : Yeah, and then you stretch them out with your big ol' clown feet...

    Monica : You want to sleep outside, 'cos it's getting cold!

  • Monica : You are just going to have to stop pissing me off.

  • Joey : There's always room for jello.

    Monica : How do you make that dirty?

    Joey : I can do it with anything, look. Grandma's Chicken Salad.

  • Monica : There may be something we can fashion.

  • Monica : [Caught Phonehacking]  I might be getting my period, I don't know.

  • Monica : That was close.

    Chandler : Yes, you almost over-reacted to something.

  • Richard : My parents are dead.

    Monica : You're so lucky!

  • Monica : It turns out Fun Bobby was Fun for a Reason!

  • Monica : You like having baths with me!

    Chandler : [an American]  It's not the bath I like, it's the wet naked Lady!

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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