Quotes
Leonardo: Michaelangelo why are you wearing boxer shorts?
Michaelangelo: So that the guy who arrives in my place doesn't arrive bare butt naked.
Donatello: [gets up and looks around after landing face first in a shallow pond] Mud wrestling is defintely a spectator sport... Gross.
Donatello: [picks up his helmet and pours out mud] Grosser.
Donatello: April? Yo!
April O'Neill: [splashes mud at Donatello] Here! Help me up.
Donatello: Whoa! Alright, I'm comin'. A little mud, no problem.
Donatello: [picks up April out of the mud but slips and falls on his back] Wait! Wait!
April O'Neill: This is the worst rescue I've ever had.
Donatello: Help! I'm a turtle and I can't get up!
Donatello: [April picks him up from the mud] Thanks.
April O'Neill: We better get out of here.
Donatello: Think of it the bright side, April. We could've landed in a great, big, greasy pile of...
April O'Neill: Don't even say it, Donny.
Donatello: I think I swallowed a frog. I hope it wasn't an ancestor.
Lord Norinaga: You have come back.
Leonardo: Yeah, we like to drop in about every three or four centuries.
Donatello: [April trims the leg part of her uniform] Whoa, leg-o-rama!
April O'Neill: Hey, I'm allowed. It's my vacation.
Michaelangelo: [recovering] My legs hurt. My arms hurt. My spots hurt. Even my bandana hurts.
Michaelangelo: What if we make a major u-turn and wind up in Godzilla-Land?
Donatello: You were expecting maybe the Addams Family?
Michaelangelo: [after bursting from a building engulfed in flames] Kurt Russell, eat your heart out!
Michaelangelo: I don't think I'll ever laugh again.
Splinter: Hmmm... Yo, Dude!
Michaelangelo: Huh?
Splinter: [suddenly wearing a Hawaiian hat] Hee hee hee hee hee...
Michaelangelo: Oh... Yo, dude!
[laughs]
Splinter: Just like Elvis in Blue Hawaii. Uh-huh-huh! I saw it on cable.
Michaelangelo: [continues laughing]
Donatello: Gee, if we die here in the past, does that mean that we don't get born in the future?
Casey Jones: Bet you guys feel lucky to be going back, right?
Benkei: We're lucky. We're going back.
Guards in unison: Not!
[slap high fives]
Casey Jones: This is really gonna screw up history.
April O'Neill: I'm going to find an apartment. I have an idea we're going to be here for a long time.
Leonardo: An apartment?
Michaelangelo: Do they have apartments in Japan?
Raphael: Do I look like a real estate agent?
Leonardo: What about condos?
Michaelangelo: [about a horse he is riding backwards] Don't these things ever run out of gas?
Raphael: Hey, Kid, you gotta control that temper. Did I say that?
Michaelangelo: [to Walker] Hey, buddy, don't you know that Westerns are dead?
Walker: Speaking of dead.
[aims pistol at Michaelangelo]
Michaelangelo: Uh what I meant was they're not all dead. Like Clint. You look alot like Clint!
Michaelangelo: Do you think they had pizza back then?
April O'Neill: This is absolutely the worst rescue I have ever had.
Michaelangelo: But, I want to stay here... with you.
Mitsu: You will always be here with me, Michaelangelo.
Splinter: There must have been a battle.
Casey Jones: I knew it, I'm missing all the fun.
Donatello: If we don't come back in two-and-a-half days, we're turtle soup.
Leonardo, Michaelangelo, Raphael: Whoa!
Michaelangelo: Bummer.
Michaelangelo: Hey, dudes, check it out! We're in *Shogun*!
Splinter: Put down your sword, Kenshin. They are not enemies. Only lost warriors, like yourself.
Whit: Take me with you.
April O'Neill: Where? New York? Nahh, you wouldn't fit in. I mean, uh,
[takes in his grungy appearance]
April O'Neill: well, actually you *would* fit in.
Raphael: Fightin's for grown-ups, and that's only if you got no other choice.
Leonardo: Hey, Tinkerbell. Why don't *you* shoot us?
Walker: Did you really think I'd make it that easy, you *nasty* little reptiles?
Donatello: Do you think I could *possibly* live without a single microchip?
Kenshin: We wait 400 years, and this *Casey* is still late.
Michaelangelo: Man, I love being a turtle.
Michaelangelo: Uh-oh, turtle tantrum.
Casey Jones: Hey, guys! So, when do we get together and bust some skulls?
Leonardo: Hang on, Casey, you're not gonna be doing any head breaking this time, pal, sorry.
Casey Jones: What was that? You wanna run that by me again?
Raphael: We need someone to remain here to make sure the time bandit here doesn't get out of hand.
Casey Jones: Gotcha.
Casey Jones: Enough of this camaraderie. When do we get to bust some skulls?
Casey Jones: What do you say we get together and bust some skulls?
April O'Neill: [about Whit] He is lower than scum! He gives scum a bad name.
Walker: Of course he does, that's why I hired him.
Walker: Who's your tailor?
Michaelangelo: We're naked.
Leonardo: Boy, do I hate spinach.
April O'Neill: Why don't you get a *real* job, cue ball?
Walker: So they've gone missing. I mean, war does have a habit of doing that to people.
Lord Norinaga: Secrets leak like a stink from a dead pig!
Walker: You certainly can turn a phrase.
April O'Neill: Would somebody please tell me what the heck is going on around here?
Donatello: Well, relax, April. It's just your, uh, ordinary time travel equal-mass-displacement kind of thing.
Walker: Excuse me, Niles. Shouldn't you be trying to scare somebody?
[preparing to jump into a burning building]
Michaelangelo: I don't think I'm cut out for this hero stuff.
Walker: My cannons can destroy these demons. You can rewrite history.
Lord Norinaga: No!
[stalks out of room]
Walker: I can rewrite *you.*
April O'Neill: You don't mean - you're not seriously suggesting that Donatello is going to make an incredibly arcane time travel machine, are you?
Leonardo, Michaelangelo, Raphael, Donatello: No, of course not!
Michaelangelo: That'd be totally bogus.
Raphael: Really stupid!
April O'Neill: Well, that's a relief.
Donatello: [points over his shoulder] No, that guy's gonna make it.
[Michaelangelo shows a villager how to make pizza]
Michaelangelo: We've got a, uh
[sniffs]
Michaelangelo: Ahhh. Pi-zza. Got that, dude? Pizza!
[takes a bite, makes a face]
Michaelangelo: Frisbee. Also cool.
[throws it]
Raphael: Son of a snapper!
Lord Norinaga: How did you capture such a woman?
Walker: Same way you capture any wild animal. By setting a trap.
Michaelangelo: Turtles: It's not just a job. It's an adventure.
Michaelangelo: Miaow, dude.
Michaelangelo: Sorry about the crack about the bad vibes. You've got *great* vibes.
Michaelangelo: Who's trapped inside?
Leo: Lord Norinaga!
Donatello: Lord Norinaga?
[hits the bell with his Bo staff]
Donatello: Name rings a bell.
Lord Norinaga: Go ahead. Finish me.
Leo: Okay.
[forms his two swords like scissors and cuts off Norinaga's hair]
Leo: There. Short enough for you?
Michaelangelo: Oh, he who dings the shell must *pay.*
[Walker enters melodramatically]
Raphael: Well, if it ain't the Phantom of the Opera.
Walker: Love to stay and chat, but places to go and people to kill.
Donatello: Smells like a geek ran through here.
Donatello: Wow. Bungee jumping without a bungee. That could be dangerous.
Casey Jones: [leaning on baseball bat, to Raphael] Hey Raph, how'd your brain implant go, good?
Michaelangelo: [to Kenshin] How did you get in April's pants?
Leonardo: Hey! Where'd we get these clothes?
Leonardo: Fight's over, we're closed.
Lord Norinaga: Kenshin, I forbid you to leave the castle. You have disgraced me.
Kenshin: No, father! It is you who have disgraced me.
Niles: Good night, me little tweety birds!
Niles: But there's a demon up the road, Cap'n. A wild beast with the body of a man and the head of the Devil himself!
Walker: Listen to me, you cretinous idiot. It's nothing but a samurai wearing one of his ridiculous masks!
