Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)

Eric Allan Kramer: Little John

Photos 

Quotes 

• Little John : Let me introduce you to my best friend: Will Scarlet.

  Scarlet : Scarlet's my middle name. My full name is Will Scarlet O'Hara.

  [pause] 

  Scarlet : We're from Georgia.

• Robin Hood : Kindly let me pass.

  Little John : Uh, no. Sorry, but a toll is a toll, and a roll is a roll, and if we don't get no tolls, then we don't eat no rolls.

  [Proudly] 

  Little John : I made that up.

  Robin Hood : It's very fascinating. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to hurt you.

• King Richard : [taking Prince John's crown]  You are no longer worthy to wear this sacred symbol of authority.

  Prince John : Oh, please have mercy on me, brother. It wasn't my fault. I got some really bad advice from Rottingham.

  Blinkin , Ahchoo , Scarlet , Little John , Crowd : [coughs]  Bullshit! Bullshit!

  King Richard : Brother, you have surrounded your given name with a foul stench!

  [to the crowd] 

  King Richard : From this day forth, all the toilets in the kingdom shall be known as... Johns!

  [the crowd cheering] 

  Prince John : [yelling]  NO!

  King Richard : Take him away!

  [the Merry Men began to grabbing Prince John] 

  Prince John : No, wait, wait!

  King Richard : Put him in the Tower of London! Make him part of the tour.

• Little John : Let's face it. You've gotta be a man to wear tights!

• Robin Hood : And who might you be?

  Little John : Oh, they call me "Little John".

  Little John : [Suddenly becomes very concerned]  But... but don't let my name fool you! In real life, I'm very *big*.

  Robin Hood : I'll take your word for it.

• Rabbi Tuckman : I am Rabbi Tuckman, purveyor of sacramental wine and moyel extraordinaire.

  Merry Men : 'ello Rabbi!

  Rabbi Tuckman : Hello boys!

  Robin Hood : A moyel. I don't believe I've ever heard of that profession.

  Rabbi Tuckman : A moyel is a very important guy. He makes circumcisions.

  Scarlet : What, pray tell, sir, is a circumcision?

  Rabbi Tuckman : It's the latest craze. The ladies love it!

  Little John : I'll take one!

  Ahchoo : Hey, put me down for two!

  Robin Hood : I'm game. How's it done?

  Rabbi Tuckman : It's a snap.

  [demonstrates with a carrot and a miniature guillotine] 

  Rabbi Tuckman : I take my machine here, I take your little thing, I put it through this hole, and then...

  [releases the blade, cutting the end off the carrot] 

  Rabbi Tuckman : I nip the tip! Who's first?

  [groans from the Merry Men] 

  Little John : I changed me mind!

  Ahchoo : I forgot, I already got one.

  Blinkin : [puts his hand in the air]  Question...

  [Ahchoo pulls his arm down silencing him] 

  Rabbi Tuckman : I gotta start working with a younger crowd.

• Little John : A toll is a toll, and a roll is a roll. And if we don't get no tolls, then we don't eat no rolls. I made that up.

• Robin Hood : This is Ahchoo.

  Little John : Bless you!

  Ahchoo : [laughs]  No, that's my name, man. Ahchoo.

• Scarlet : I hope she's still wearing her iron underwear.

  Little John : Yeah.