Last Action Hero (1993)
Charles Dance: Benedict
Benedict : Gentlemen. Since you are about to die anyway, I may as well tell you the entire plot. Think of villains Jack. You want Dracula? Dra-cool-la? Hang on
[takes out the ticket]
Benedict : , I'll fetch him. Dracula? Huh. I can get King Kong! We'll have a nightmare with Freddy Krueger, have a surprize party for Adolf Hitler, Hannibal Lecter can do the catering, and then we'll have christening for Rosemary's Baby! All I have to do is snap my fingers and they'll be here. They're lining up to get here, and do you know why Jack? Should I tell you why? Hmm? Because here, in this world, the bad guys can win!
Benedict : I wonder if you'd help me test a theory?
Mechanic : Sure, what can I do for ya?
Benedict : Well...
[Benedict shoots him. He listens for a while, looks at his wristwatch, then shouts]
Benedict : Hello? I've just shot somebody, I did it on purpose!
[listens some more, still nothing]
Benedict : I said, I have murdered a man and I want to confess!
[listens some more, someone tells him, "Hey, shut up, down there!". He looks pleased]
Benedict : I understand you are interested in drug dealers.
Danny Madigan : [whispering] Jack, that's him, the henchman with the glass eye.
Jack Slater : Sir, are you a henchman?
Benedict : No, I only go as far as lackey. Anything else?
Jack Slater : Yeah, take off your sunglasses.
Benedict : Who's asking?
Jack Slater : [flashes Police badge] The tin man.
Benedict : Well, tin man, suppose you hit the bricks.
Jack Slater : No, they're the wrong color.
Benedict : Are they? Oh dear. Let's change them. Would arterial red suit you?
[points to guard dogs]
Benedict : Make no mistake, they are exceptionally well-trained.
[snaps fingers, dogs form pyramid]
Benedict : I snap my fingers again and some time tomorrow, you emerge from several canine rector. Or you and Toto can return to the land of Oz. Questions?
Jack Slater : Yeah, two of them. Why am I wasting my time with silly putz like you when I could be doing something more dangerous - like rearranging my sock drawer? Two, how exactly are you going to snap your fingers, after I rip off both of your thumbs?
[pause, Benedict reveals smiley-face eye]
Benedict : Have a nice day!
[closing the door, he overhears Danny]
Danny Madigan : He had one with a bulls-eye when he was with your second cousin. He hates his boss, he calls him a "Sicilian schmuck."
Benedict : If God was a villain, he'd be me.
Benedict : Here, in this world, the bad guys can win!
Benedict : [to Danny] I must warn you, I've killed people smarter and younger than you.
Danny Madigan : Benedict! If you harm a hair on her head...
Benedict : Stop!
[Pulls one strand of Whitney's hair, presents it to Danny, and snaps it in two]
Benedict : You were saying?
[Pulls up a chair]
Benedict : Now, I believe it was Sherlock Holmes who said, "If you eliminate all logical solutions to a problem - all illogical solutions, however unlikely, become inevitably true." See, I know that your name is Daniel Madigan. What I don't know is how you know mine?
Danny Madigan : Slater showed me some mugshots. We made your face easy.
Benedict : Daniel Madigan from New York. A long way from home, aren't you. When did you get here?
Danny Madigan : Just.
Benedict : And how do you know what I said on Vivaldi's terrace?
Danny Madigan : I heard it in a recording.
Benedict : Microphones in the statues, are there?
Danny Madigan : You wouldn't believe how many.
Benedict : And the eye I was wearing?
Danny Madigan : I saw it. I saw it in a movie. There were micro-cameras in the statues.
Benedict : I should tell you, that I have killed people smarter and younger than you.
Benedict : The Fart goes off in seven minutes.
Benedict : Take his shoes?