Last Action Hero (1993) Poster

Charles Dance: Benedict



  • Benedict : Gentlemen. Since you are about to die anyway, I may as well tell you the entire plot. Think of villains Jack. You want Dracula? Dra-cool-la? Hang on

    [takes out the ticket] 

    Benedict : , I'll fetch him. Dracula? Huh. I can get King Kong! We'll have a nightmare with Freddy Krueger, have a surprize party for Adolf Hitler, Hannibal Lecter can do the catering, and then we'll have christening for Rosemary's Baby! All I have to do is snap my fingers and they'll be here. They're lining up to get here, and do you know why Jack? Should I tell you why? Hmm? Because here, in this world, the bad guys can win!

  • Benedict : I wonder if you'd help me test a theory?

    Mechanic : Sure, what can I do for ya?

    Benedict : Well...

    [Benedict shoots him. He listens for a while, looks at his wristwatch, then shouts] 

    Benedict : Hello? I've just shot somebody, I did it on purpose!

    [listens some more, still nothing] 

    Benedict : I said, I have murdered a man and I want to confess!

    [listens some more, someone tells him, "Hey, shut up, down there!". He looks pleased] 

  • Benedict : I understand you are interested in drug dealers.

    Danny Madigan : [whispering]  Jack, that's him, the henchman with the glass eye.

    Jack Slater : Sir, are you a henchman?

    Benedict : No, I only go as far as lackey. Anything else?

    Jack Slater : Yeah, take off your sunglasses.

    Benedict : Who's asking?

    Jack Slater : [flashes Police badge]  The tin man.

    Benedict : Well, tin man, suppose you hit the bricks.

    Jack Slater : No, they're the wrong color.

    Benedict : Are they? Oh dear. Let's change them. Would arterial red suit you?

    [points to guard dogs] 

    Benedict : Make no mistake, they are exceptionally well-trained.

    [snaps fingers, dogs form pyramid] 

    Benedict : I snap my fingers again and some time tomorrow, you emerge from several canine rector. Or you and Toto can return to the land of Oz. Questions?

    Jack Slater : Yeah, two of them. Why am I wasting my time with silly putz like you when I could be doing something more dangerous - like rearranging my sock drawer? Two, how exactly are you going to snap your fingers, after I rip off both of your thumbs?

    [pause, Benedict reveals smiley-face eye] 

    Benedict : Have a nice day!

    [closing the door, he overhears Danny] 

    Danny Madigan : He had one with a bulls-eye when he was with your second cousin. He hates his boss, he calls him a "Sicilian schmuck."

  • Tony Vivaldi : What is this, Benedict? First you're my friend; now you turn a... 360 on me!

    Benedict : 180, you stupid, spaghetti-slurping cretin - *180*! If I did a 360, I'd go completely around and end up back where I started!

    Tony Vivaldi : What?

    Benedict : Trust me!

    [shoots him] 

  • Jack Slater : Sir, are you a henchman?

    Benedict : No, I only go as far as lackey.

  • Benedict : If God was a villain, he'd be me.

  • Benedict : Here, in this world, the bad guys can win!

  • Jack Slater : Did you make a movie mistake? You forgot to reload the damn gun.

    Benedict : No, Jack. I just left one chamber empty.

  • Benedict : [to Danny]  I must warn you, I've killed people smarter and younger than you.

  • Danny Madigan : Benedict! If you harm a hair on her head...

    Benedict : Stop!

    [Pulls one strand of Whitney's hair, presents it to Danny, and snaps it in two] 

    Benedict : You were saying?

    [Pulls up a chair] 

    Benedict : Now, I believe it was Sherlock Holmes who said, "If you eliminate all logical solutions to a problem - all illogical solutions, however unlikely, become inevitably true." See, I know that your name is Daniel Madigan. What I don't know is how you know mine?

    Danny Madigan : Slater showed me some mugshots. We made your face easy.

    Benedict : Daniel Madigan from New York. A long way from home, aren't you. When did you get here?

    Danny Madigan : Just.

    Benedict : And how do you know what I said on Vivaldi's terrace?

    Danny Madigan : I heard it in a recording.

    Benedict : Microphones in the statues, are there?

    Danny Madigan : You wouldn't believe how many.

    Benedict : And the eye I was wearing?

    Danny Madigan : I saw it. I saw it in a movie. There were micro-cameras in the statues.

    Benedict : I should tell you, that I have killed people smarter and younger than you.

  • Tony Vivaldi : You've had Slater in front of the eight ball before, but you always screwed it up.

    Benedict : [after Vivaldi leaves]  It's behind the eight ball, you moron!

  • Benedict : The Fart goes off in seven minutes.

  • Tammy, Hell's Kitchen Hooker : Sweetheart, wanna have a party?

    Benedict : How old are you?

    Tammy, Hell's Kitchen Hooker : Forget it.

  • Benedict : Take his shoes?

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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