White Men Can't Jump (1992)
Billy Hoyle: [intentionally antagonizing Spike and Willy, during the basketball tournament] What, you still throwing up bricks? What is this, a Masons convention? Wha... clank, clank! I need, like, a welding torch to play in this league! I got an idea... let's just stop right now and gather up all these bricks and let's build a shelter for the homeless so maybe your mother will have a place to live!
Sidney Deane: [to Junior, after losing his borrowed money to Billy in a shooting challenge on the Venice Beach basketball courts] Oh man shut your anorexic malnutrition tapeworm-having overdose on Dick Gregory Bahamian diet-drinking ass up. Leave me alone!
Gloria Clemente: [to Billy] Sometimes when you win, you really lose, and sometimes when you lose, you really win, and sometimes when you win or lose, you actually tie, and sometimes when you tie, you actually win or lose. Winning or losing is all one organic mechanism, from which one extracts what one needs.
Billy Hoyle: [while lying in bed] When I say I wanna make love, it means, "Let's screw." That's the kind of thing I thought you would say.
Gloria Clemente: I don't like the word "screw," OK? I prefer "make love" or "fuck." Screwing is for carpenters.
Billy Hoyle: [pours a glass of water in her face] Oh, you're gonna get it!
Gloria Clemente: Oh, honey!
Billy Hoyle: Oh...
Gloria Clemente: We're you going?
Billy Hoyle: [irritated, while getting dressed] Anywhere to get the hell away from you. Psycho, chiquita nut case!
Gloria Clemente: Oh, come back, I want to make love. Honey, come back, I want to screw!
Sidney Deane: [to Billy] Look man, you can listen to Jimi but you can't hear him. There's a difference man. Just because you're listening to him doesn't mean you're hearing him.
Sidney Deane: [while in the Deane's apartment] You see Billy it's like this, you either smoke or you get smoked. And you got smoked.
Sidney Deane: [to Billy] You can put a cat in an oven, but that don't make it a biscuit.
Billy Hoyle: [before donating money to The Venice Beach Boys] You are so stupid. It would take your mother 1, no. 2 hours to watch 60 MINUTES.
Sidney Deane: Don't start that shit again.
Sidney Deane: [in Gloria's hotel room after realizing she left Billy] Billy, I have four words for you: "Listen to the Woman".
Billy Hoyle: What the hell does that mean, "Listen to the woman"? I TRIED to listen to the woman and you're the one who talked me out of it.
Sidney Deane: Wait a minute. I didn't talk you out of anything. I presented you with an option and you took it.
Gloria Clemente: [while in the Deane's apartment] Teammates can't hustle each other.
Rhonda Deane: Oh really? Why not?
Gloria Clemente: It's not artistic.
Sidney Deane: [while on the Venice Beach basketball courts] Fuck you, your mother's astronaut
Billy Hoyle: My mother was too drunk to be astronaut
Sidney Deane: [to female spectators watching Sidney and his friends playing basketball on the Venice Beach basketball courts] Hey baby, I don't mean to brag... but I'm the greatest!
Rhonda Deane: [to Gloria, while in the Deane's apartment] All I care about is getting out of the Vista View apartments, because there ain't no "vista", there ain't no "view", and there certainly ain't no vista of no view.
Sidney Deane: [before winning a bet with him] Billy, listen to me. White men can't jump.
Junior: [while on the Venice Beach basketball courts] Your mother's so poor I saw her kicking cans and I asked her what she was doing she said "moving"
George: Your mother's so old she used to drive chariots to high school
Junior: Your mother's so fat when she fell over, broke her leg and gravy poured out
George: I told your mother to act her age and the bitch dropped dead
Sidney Deane: Hey hey man, what's the score? Yo! Chump! I'm talking to you! I'm talking to the fucking air.
Billy Hoyle: [sitting with the crowd watching Sidney and his friends play basketball on the Venice Beach basketball courts] My name ain't chump, it's Billy Hoyle.
Sidney Deane: Billy Hoyle. BILLY HOYLE. Billy Hoyle. Okay Billy... can you count to ten, Billy?
Billy Hoyle: Yeah.
Sidney Deane: Good. What's the score... Billy?
Billy Hoyle: I don't know.
Sidney Deane: Then you're a chump.
Billy Hoyle: [before Sydney snatches Bill's basketball away from him] I may be a chump, I just said that wasn't my name.
Sidney Deane: Can anybody step in for this guy? Anybody? For Mr. Motherfucking March of Dimes?
Billy Hoyle: [playing in tournament prelims-overdub] Don't let him pull that move, don't let him pull that move! That's the move! Oh that's the move!
Sidney Deane: [while in Sidney's car] Either you're stupid or you're dangerous and you can't be stupid because stupid people can't push my buttons and piss me off so you must be dangerous
Billy Hoyle: To who?
Sidney Deane: To yourself
Gloria Clemente: [referring to Sidney] He lives in The Jungle, right?
Billy Hoyle: [while on a bus] No honey, we can't. They don't let white people into the Crenshaw District. I don't know about Puerto Ricans but it's a reverse discrimination thing.
Sidney Deane: [insulting Billy] Doesn't this guy look like one of those motherfuckers from The Brady Bunch?
Junior: Yeah! He looks like Cindy!
[sings, insulting Billy]
Junior: The youngest one in curls...
Junior: [while on the Venice Beach basketball courts, expecting Sydney is going to win a bet against Billy] We goin' Sizzler, we goin' Sizzler...
Sidney Deane: Yo, Billy, tomorrow we goin' to 3rd Street. We're goin' to hustle out there. That's Watts, tough games out there. Big bucks.
Billy Hoyle: Um-hmm.
Sidney Deane: [before entering his apartment complex] Don't take it personally, baby. We teammates. Ebony and Ivory.
Billy Hoyle: [raises his middle finger at Sidney from his car] Ha-ha-ha! Hey, I got your partner.
Sidney Deane: Oh,right. Fuck me. All I know is you better get your ass north of Le Brea before sunset.
Sidney Deane: [standing next to Billy's car, parked outside Sidney's apartment complex] You got a fine woman
Billy Hoyle: You keep your hands off her
Sidney Deane: What's the matter with you?I said she was fine, I didn't say I was going to touch her
Billy Hoyle: [pushes him] If you touch her I'll kick your ass you hear me?
Sidney Deane: Look at this, it's starting to come clear
Billy Hoyle: Good
Sidney Deane: you're a real cool customer on the court, real chill out there, can't be rattled in your game, you don't even fall for that "nigger" shit out there on the court, but when it comes to your woman that's a different matter altogether, look at you I didn't even talk trash and you're already scared, I didn't even push up on the sister and you're already thinking about it this is good shit to know, I know your weakness
Billy Hoyle: Shut the fuck up
Sidney Deane: Billy, you're like every other white boys I've ever met
Billy Hoyle: And you're like every other brother I met on the play ground
Sidney Deane: Come on with it baby kick some shit
Billy Hoyle: You'd rather look good and lose rather look bad and win, how many dinners did your necklace set your family back?
Sidney Deane: Fuck you, you don't know shit about me
Sidney Deane: [while on the Venice Beach basketball courts] Loan me a twenty
Junior: Come on Sid, do I look like Bank of America?
Sidney Deane: You think I'm going to lose this money to this white boy?
Junior: You better not lose my money to this white boy he's a visitor we're the home team baby
Sidney Deane: This here is a black thing, so give me twenty dollars so I can run this shit
Junior: We're going to at Sizzlers?
Sidney Deane: Damn right
Raymond: [after entering the convenient store while wearing a ski mask, speaking in the disguised voice] hey, give me your money
Tad: Raymond, that you?
Raymond: [speaking in the disguised voice] this ain't Raymond
Tad: Take off that God damn mask and put down that gun
Raymond: [while taking off the ski mask] shit
Tad: What're you trying to do?
Raymond: [Pleading by unintentionally repeating himself] look man I got me some chumps on the line over at the park man, come on man loan me some money man, loan me some money
Tad: Get the fuck out of here
Raymond: [Giving him the gun, while Tad carefully examines it] hey look man, what you need is a good gun man because there's some crazy mother fuckers walking around this neighborhood. A lot crazier than me. Give me three hundred dollars for it
Tad: I'll give you two hundred
Raymond: Oh come on man, two seventy-five
Tad: Two fifty
Raymond: [Before tossing the ski mask to him] Alright, now you're robbing me
Billy Hoyle: [while in Sidney's car] Once again quoting myself,"a white man wants to win first look good second, a black man wants to look good first win second" that is the most ridiculous piece of philosophical BULLSHIT I have ever heard!
The Venice Beach Boys: You keep asking me what I am. Don't you know I'm Presbyterian?
The Venice Beach Boys: Presbyterian? That's the worst thing a jazz singer can be. Presbyterians are called God's frozen people. Wouldn't swing if you hung 'em.