Troll 2 (1990) Poster

(1990)

User Reviews

Review this title
431 Reviews
Sort by:
Filter by Rating:
1/10
The Holy Grail of bad movies
Justin Michels9 August 2003
This is it, folks: the worst movie ever made.

I know, I know, there are many who argue that "Plan 9 from Outer Space" and "Manos: The Hands of Fate" are worse "films" than this one. Well, I'd advise those people to give "Troll 2" another viewing, this time with an open mind. As something of a self-made authority on the worst of the worst in modern cinematic torture, I feel qualified to make the bold assertion that "Troll 2" is the cream of that particular crop.

From its laugh-inducing soundtrack (apparently recorded using only a vintage 1980s Casio keyboard) to its unilaterally awful acting, "Troll 2" is a life-changing experience, similar to the Middle Ages' trials by fire. If you succeed at ingesting this festering piece of cinematic detritus in one sitting, you will emerge a new person, like a phoenix rising from its own ashes. The watching itself may be painful, but it is ultimately worth the pain to be able to say, with conviction, "I survived 'Troll 2,' and I'm still technically alive."

The special effects in this movie are, indeed, special -- like a one-legged blind woman with Alzheimer's. Trivia: one of the various Emmanuelles from the infamous "Emmanuelle" series of soft-core porno movies designed this movie's pitiful costumes. That should give you some indication of their quality.

The acting -- my God, where do I start? Suffice it to say that, if you set any cast member on fire, I would lay down even money that he or she would have a hard time convincing onlookers that it hurt. They're really that bad. More trivia: One of Elliot's "boys" in this movie would later go on to reprise his role (Disposable Character in Bad Movie) in the Lou Diamond Phillips classic "Bats." Even more trivia: The father in this movie was a local dentist, and most of the extras were bona fide Utah residents, as well. Talk about low-budget.

Back to the soundtrack -- There's not a single scene in the movie where the music is appropriate to the on-screen action. I get the impression that the "composer" employed for this stinker was, in fact, a failed auditioner for Def Leppard's still-vacant keytarist position. Seriously, it's rare, even in straight-to-video dogs like this one, to hear music of this woeful caliber.

What more can I say that hasn't already been set forth in previous reviews? This is the worst movie I have ever seen, and that's saying something. It's physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting to watch this film -- I recommend doing it alone, at least the first time you see it...that way, you can concentrate on its truly majestic badness -- and on feeling your brain cells die off, one by one, until you are no longer able to speak.

Good luck to you, if you decide to watch this one. It doesn't get any worse than "Troll 2."

ADDENDUM (October 2007): This is still the worst movie of all time. Its status as such will never change. "Troll 2" is simply the perfect storm of bad writing, casting, direction, cinematography, costuming, score, makeup, effects, acting, editing, and inspiration.

UPDATE (June 2010): I just watched it again. Alone. In one sitting. God help me, some component of my brain must be fundamentally defective.

POSTSCRIPT (September 2013): This film continues to alter the life of each man, woman, and child with the good fortune/taste to bathe in its glory. I could not recommend it more strongly.
392 out of 428 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
Forced to watch!
fox_tabatha9 April 2005
My sister made me watch this. She insisted it was a contagion, a disease she was compelled to spread. After seeing it, I truly understand, relate, and recommend.

It's awful! But a transcendent awfulness...you want to pass it around like milk that might be spoiled, but everyone needs to test it anyway.

I've never laughed so much at something that isn't even trying to be remotely comedic; it's a travesty.

I'm not surprised there are drinking games built around it, but you'll be more than amused watching it sober.Yes, it's that bad! But fun - you want to see it over and over again, and force other people to watch it too. Rent it on a particularly bad day: you'll forget everything irritating in your life, and be weirdly involved in a world of badly-clad midgets; suddenly wondering if baloney sandwiches or urine could possibly be the solution... If you vote, give it a one - it truly deserves the recognition of being one of the worst movies ever.
188 out of 215 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
Awful, but funniest thing ever.
zygfrieds_baboon6 February 2005
Imagine....some really bored media students who have rented a motor-home and have loads of popcorn to be used. Then imagine a film where those are the most expensive things in it. This is that film. Troll 2 - yet has no troll. Just goblins. But hey. The first time I saw this, I wished I had been wearing a nappy or sitting on a very big sponge, it is that funny. Personally, I could not get up from rolling around on the floor, nor the people I was with, although they had it worse, as they kept falling off the bed. Unfortunately, it is funny without meaning to be, simply because it is that bad. It seems to just have people dragged in from the street in the leading roles, which could well be true. Maybe somebody was very drunk when they decided to make this film. Or when they made it. Or when they went ahead with all the stages of production. Just possibly. Anyway, it is hilarious. I got my DVD copy for £2. That says it all really I would say. Watch this film if you want to see: neon-coloured food, children in masks and dressed in sacks charging around a forest set to a dodgy 1990-theme, awful make up, worse acting, even worse dialogue, the funniest yokels ever (including Sheriff Freak - 'nuff said) and the mightiest weapon ever seen in any film ever. Go on, watch it. Best laugh of my life, could be yours too.
120 out of 137 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
I bet it was a goblin in disguise!
lobello_929 August 2005
I would like to begin my review by saying that watching this movie will be like taking a hot fork and shoving it in your eye socket for some people, whereas for others it will be the funniest F'n thing you've ever seen.

Before I get into the meat of the story or as I like to call it a double decker bologna sandwich…Troll 2 has nothing to do with trolls (just goblins), Troll 2 also has absolutely nothing to do with Troll 1. AHA but that's not all!!!! The guy who made the cover for Troll 2 didn't see Troll 1 or Troll 2!!!! The original cover of Troll 2 has a werewolf (Not in Troll 1 or Troll 2) chasing a little boy who doesn't even appear in either of the Troll movies! If that doesn't make you want to take your head and smash it against concrete, I don't know what does.

I will now begin with the double decker bologna sandwich part of my analysis. The film begins with Grandpa Seth talking to his grandson Joshua. Joshua is constipated throughout the film and grandpa is dead. You know the kind of dead where you say you will be gone forever and then you come back and then you say you will be gone forever and then you come back and then you give your 12 year old grandson a Molotov cocktail and then you say you will be gone forever and then you come back…that kind of dead. He tells that old story of how Peter Pan ran through the woods one day, ate green goup, and turned into a MLANT. The mother, played by Margo Prey (AKA greatest actress ever) assures Joshua that it was just a dream and goes onto explain that Grandpa's death was, "Very difficult for your father, for Holly, and for me his daughter." You may want to give that quote a second reading… The daughter is also brilliant in this picture. The chemistry between her and her boyfriend Elliott is sizzling!!! Ouch very hot! So sizzling that Elliott and his friends couldn't be more gay! Holly explains, "You take them to bed with you too (referring to Elliott's guy friends that are hanging out the window) and I don't believe in group sex". What??? Holly then explains that her parents don't like Elliott (that he is a good for nothing) and that they are going on vacation for a month. Ellliott then asks, "Is it true you're going on vacation tomorrow?" "Yes!" "I'll come with you?" "OK I'll tell my father that you're coming with us tomorrow" Believe me the movie keeps going…Joshua must do it he must do it! He must pee on everyone's food before they eat corn with green paste on it. Oh my god! Or how about "You're a genius big Sister!" Watch for the mother staring directly into the camera and yelling, "Oh dear god what can we do!" So they have this family exchange and they go to Nilbog and oh my god!

This movie is a pure masterpiece. It's so bad it's fantastic! I recommend everyone to give it one viewing just so you can say you've survived it's stupidity. Make sure you watch it with friends though…DO NOT watch this movie alone or you will lose your mind trying to figure out why anyone would make a movie this bad...I will leave you with this: Mother says "Elliott what are you doing here?" Daughter says "Elliott is part of the family now!" Mom puts her hand on Elliott's face, "Oh Elliott!"
114 out of 135 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
The Best bad movie EVER! Zero Stars out of 5
Lance8 May 2005
This here is a treasure for bad movie buffs like myself. Absolutely unbelievable.

Perhaps my favorite scene is when the family is greeted by complete strangers holding a welcome party in the FAMILY's house. Well... their temporary house that they, uh... well, you'd have to see the movie. Anyways, they are in the house and some old lady is playing country music on the piano. Everyone goes "La la laaa la la la la la la laaaa" and there is this fantastic breathtaking shot of a person carrying a cake towards the family.

Well maybe my real favorite scene is where little Joshua is snooping during a town meeting. They are all discussing the evils of meat, sausages, and clusters of hemorrhoids.

I have never seen a more delightful piece of absolute trash in my entire life. Everything here couldn't be more laugh inducing. It's made on such a technically inept level it's unimaginable. Some of the most memorable (not in a good way) lines of dialog are presented here:

"Joshua is not a little s***, he's just very sensitive."

"If my father discovers you here, he'd cut off your little nuts and eat them."

For a film that's titled "Troll 2" didn't it seem kind of strange that there were goblins and no trolls in the film? And don't let this fool you into thinking the original Troll film is terrible. It hasn't anything to do with that film.

Yes, my friends, if you want bad film-making, look no farther!

"Eggs! BLEH!"
58 out of 69 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
"There is no hospital in Nilbog" but there is a looney bin
rjh220015 June 2005
Warning: Spoilers
I collect crappy horror films, particularly the "creature flicks" and I have to confess that Troll 2 is my run-away all-time favorite. This movie has absolutely no redeeming qualities, none. Had the acting, story, effects, dialogue, any one of those not been as awful as they are in this film then Troll 2 simply would not be the same. It would have been forgotten long ago and not held as the utter piece of crap that it is.

First, there is absolutely no connect with the first Troll movie. This is probably a good thing since the first movie wasn't even funny in an awful way, just horribly lame. There is not a single troll in Troll 2 anyway, since they're all "goblins." The premise entails a family (Mom, Dad, Joshua, Holly) in some sort of "exchange program" which puts them in a town called Nilbog (get it?). It turns out that the town is really goblins who try to feed humans neon green slop that turns them into part-vegetables. The goblins then eat them. The family is evidently comfortable eating food like corn-on-the-cob with neon green stuff on top and cakes with "eat up" written in green "icing," except for Joshua who suspects trouble by virtue of the fact that the boy is in communion with his dead grandfather, a man who conveniently knows all about the goblins and how to conquer them.

As if this premise weren't enough, the acting is horrible. Holly has a boyfriend who comes along and drags three of his own friends who each suffer a gruesome fate (turned into a tree, drowned in popcorn, etc). These dorks couldn't score with Nilbog girls if they paid them, but since there's a weird homo erotic feel to their interactions, it probably wouldn't come to that. Holly's BAD at delivering her lines - it reminds me of second grade and how we'd read the parts of a play out loud in class. It sounds prepackaged and faked, like reading off a teleprompter. The Mom is equally awful and has really strange bug eyes. You half expect her to turn into a goblin. Apparently "row, row, row your boat" is her favorite song and she makes her family sing it. Joshua looks like he's in constant pain and every whine of his makes you grit your teeth and beg for a chainsaw (Creedence has one!). Although far from being good, the Dad here delivers the best performance, but maybe that's because he reminded me of Craig T. Nelson, who can actually act. As far as costumes, they went crazy with the green dye. It's everywhere. There are only three goblin mask molds that they use on different midget or kid actors so that the goblins look inbred. There's a closeup where we see a goblin's mouth and the fakeness of the mask is revealed. The music is a keyboard synthesizer.

The strangest thing about this movie may be the continual string of non-sequiturs. We see "Nilbog milk" but we never find out why it's there or what it's supposed to do (It presumably doesn't aid in the vegetable-morph process). We never learn about grandpa's powers, why he's unable to stop the family from eating bad food yet is able to hack a goblin with an axe through a mirror later and produce a Molotov cocktail to hurl at the Nilbog preacher. Why turn Arnold into a tree? Who was that girl randomly running through the forest and why doesn't Arnold seem surprised to see goblins? Just who is Creedence and what does her family being "from Stonehenge" have to do with anything? How does "the power of goodness" vanquish the goblins? I have to conclude that there's a satirical undercurrent to this film because it's just that random.

This film is obviously a local product from somewhere in Utah. It changes your perception of that state. According to the cover, this movie is just over an hour and a half but I swear it feels like a three hour movie. I recommend watching Troll 2 if you like funny bad movies, but it's best watched with friends and intoxicating substances. "They're eating her! And then they're going to eat me! Oh my gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd!"
38 out of 44 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
Infectious Disease
fifi_fox6667 April 2005
Warning: Spoilers
I'm ashamed to admit I've seen this. I don't know what's worst- the "plot" or the "acting" -I've never seen a more hideous and inept cast! And how about the "special effects" and lame 80's music? Not to mention the hair, clothes, the lack of continuity... and that dance sequence! Was that really necessary?

The only positive thing I can say is that I laughed... but it's not supposed to be funny.

And, huh, "Nilbog?" Who saw THAT coming?

Horribly bad in an epic way. Torment friends, neighbors, love interests and total strangers with this, PLEASE!

I Suffered through it! I inflict it on everyone I know, like the infectious disease it is. Give it a "1" but spread it around.
71 out of 90 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
Do I give it a "1" because it was so bad, or a "10" because it was so good?
Stoh8012 October 2011
You often hear of movies that are so bad that they're good. It's hard to point to a single movie that is like this though. What some may say is "so good it's bad" may come off to others as just plain bad. However, everyone I have talked to who has seen this movie has agreed: Troll 2 is so horribly, shamelessly bad, that it is good.

The writing for film is more than awkward (take the redundant "Stonehenge Magic Stone"), and the character dialogue sounds so incredibly unnatural they might as well be robots. The reason for this is because the man who wrote the script and directed it, Claudio Fragasso, is a native speaker of Italian. He wrote the script in English when English was (barely) his second language. The acting is absolutely terrible, but who can blame them? This was most likely the first (and last) film any of these actors have been in.

The costumes and special effects have that wonderful B-movie quality to them. While there are many blaringly obvious errors, I find that the smaller ones are actually funnier. Actors shaking when time is supposed to be "frozen," or flies on their face during the climatic scenes. There are so many continuity mistakes that I sometimes found myself wondering if the director was putting them in on purpose. It was like every time the camera shot changed, the crew completely forgot how the previous shot was set up, and had the actors give their best guess on where they're supposed to be.

I think everyone needs to see at least a few horrible movies in their lifetime. Troll 2 is entertaining and hilarious, especially when watched with friends. The plot is ludicrous, but at least you never know what's going to happen next. Many scenes seem completely unnecessary, and this film simply does not bother to justify any of the things that happen in it. The end result is a horror B-movie that ends up being so horrible that you can't help but laugh. The only question I find myself asking now is do I give it a "1" because it was so bad, or a "10" because it was so good?
7 out of 7 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
If this movie passes for a horror flick, then so does Bambi
lmntathffan18 June 2005
YIKES! I have not seen this movie recently, but I remember wanting to see it when I was very young, right when it had just came out. I believe I was 7 or 8, and I saw the movie in a blockbuster, read the back as best as I could, and said, "That sounds funny". I vaguely remember an opening scene where a man is being fed food by a girl, and he turns into a tree or dies or something, and immediately, I thought, "What the hell is this crap?". The movie progresses at an equally bad rate: A family comes to a town called Nilbog, and not a single one of them notices that Nilbog spelled backwards is Goblin, which makes no sense, because the title of the movie is, I believe, TROLL 2, not Goblin 2. Of course, the lead character, a small boy, happens to glance into a rear view mirror on his parents car, and see's that Nilbog backwards spells Goblin. Only one problem: Nilbog reflected in a rear view mirror spells qodliN, not gobliN. WHOOPS! Then there's this stupid chase scene through a forest, where Goblins keep on popping up from nowhere, and urging people to run towards them. Over all, this movie was pure junk. 1 star because I am in a good mood.
103 out of 149 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
10/10
I watch this movie every day...
superhero22 January 2000
Everytime I walk out of a movie theater, no matter what movie I had just seen, I always think to myself, "this was no troll 2..." No movie since has been made that has left such an impact on me as a serious film critic. Why is this movie so great? Unlike 99% of movies out today, Troll 2 accomplishes something most movies don't even come close to and usually fail at, it's entertaining.

This movie has no relation to the original Troll and that is a good thing. The reason it was named Troll 2 is a mystery much like how Tarantino's movie, Reservior Dogs, has everyone guessing why it was named as that. Unfortunately, the director, Joe D'Amato, has taken that secret to the grave with him. The plot, every scene, every bit of dialouge, the acting, the costume and makeup, the music (especially the opening credits --classic), and every little detail of this movie captures your attention leaving you in awe from beginning to end. The movie is about a family who decides to go on a vacation in the small town of Nilbog despite protest from Joshua, the young son and hero of the movie, who was warned from his deceased grandfather about cruel deformed forest dwellers who live in Nilbog. As with most parents of the babyboomer generation, Joshua's pleads are not only ignored, but mocked and ridiculed. The family, needless to say, goes on with the planned schedule and the adventure begins.

One might criticize the casting of this movie. I'd rather have "regular people" in this movie, ("regular people" meaning the demeaning term used by arrogant movie star celebrities which refer to us, the people who aren't movie star celebrities), as this cast in Troll 2 has more personality than any overpaid, silicone enhanced, plastic surgery addicted, tabliod covering, tanning salon using, church of scientologist following, teen movie drama appearing, "actor" out there. Watching the cast is memorizing, especially how they react to the goblin threat.

I could go on forever about this movie, I apologize for the rambling. Go and see this movie, find it, rent it, you will be introduced to a whole new experience you probably have never have had. Until Troll 1.5 or Troll 3, I'm going to defend Troll 2 as a true unique movie experience unlike anything else. Groundbreaking filmaking...Troll 2...Cue the goblin music!
71 out of 101 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
10/10
Instant Therapy
ciellenator18 July 2007
Feeling down lately? Need a little pick-me-up to help you see the good in the world again? Why, just pop Troll 2 into the DVD player and you're good as new! So, this movie is pretty much the best movie in the world. I accidentally first saw it with a bunch of my friends at a party...it was HILARIOUS. The sad thing is, the actors are completely serious during the movie...which makes it funnier! Five minutes into the movie, I was laughing hysterically. Basically, we were all like, "WHAT?! WHAT THE @%^# IS GOING ON??!" It's probably the funniest thing you'll ever watch, trust me. I don't even remember what happened in the movie, except for the part where the guy goes "They're eating her! And then they're going to eat me! Oh my gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd!" Honestly, how can he retain that much air in his lungs?? It goes on for so long, you can't even breathe from laughing so hard. And then that kid, Joshua, pees on the food. WHAT?! Lol, it had me laughing forever-- YOU CAN'T P*ISS ON HOSPITALITY! Now I have a bunch of quotes that I can fire back and forth between my friends and I. Oh, and the other part I remember is the "sexay" scene with the witch, one of the guys, and a corncob. HAHAHAHA, there are no words to describe it. Honestly, who tries to seduce someone with an EAR OF CORN? Then it pops--- hysterical! Anyway, I would watch this movie over and over again just because it cheers me up so much. Better to watch this with a few friends than by yourself, because for some reason it's just funnier that way. OH MY GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWD!
16 out of 21 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
10/10
The King Daddy of BAD
madmedic8110 February 2009
Warning: Spoilers
If you like BAD movies (and I mean BAD....as in "Plan 9" bad....), believe me, Troll 2 is for YOU! I have seen some pretty bad "horror" or sci-fi movies....Leprechaun, Plan 9 From Outer Space, Jack-O, Jack Frost, most anything that Sci-Fi Channel unleashes........but nothing ever has (or ever WILL) compare to the utter INSIPID stupidity that IS Troll 2.

And having said this, I must say I absolutely LOVE this movie! Let's introduce the characters.

There is the Waits family--Dad (occupation: professional Dumba$$), Mom (a STUNNING, Oscar-worthy performance if there ever was....), Big sis Holly (probably not a contender for "Dancing With the Stars...."), and little brother Joshua (who should be the spokesperson for Irritable Bowel Syndrome....I mean this poor kid looks like he is in SERIOUS pain throughout the film....). We also have Holly's homosexual boyfriend, Elliot, Elliot's three gay buddies, a mysterious not-so-sexy sexy chick who appears in the woods from out of nowhere, and a horde of hideous rednecks......who are all (GASP) GOBLINS IN DISGUISE.

And yes, I said GOBLINS....there are no Trolls in "Troll 2"....we don't even hear the WORD "troll" from start to finish. Instead, we have a cast of midgets in Value Mart Halloween masks running around in potato sacks. I kid you not. This "sequel" has nothing to do with the Sonny Bono afflicted original.

Confused yet? Just wait....there's more....

We have Grandpa Seth, a ghost only Joshua can see who has AMAZING abilities.....he can materialize Molotov cocktails from thin air, appear in mirrors at will, suspend time for no good reason, and make a MEAN double decker bologna sandwich....all while dressed in a very grandfatherly Mr Rogers sweater. Don't pi$$ this guy off....he may not have any powers of any real worth (and hell, he may be about as threatening as a wet sock puppet), but he can bore the hell out of you with a bedtime story in about 10 seconds FLAT. Yeah, Granpa Seth is hardcore.

There is also Creedence.....the Queen of the goblins. I don't think this chick's mom ever bought a tube of Crest her entire childhood....and she has a truly sick fascination with botany. She is also gonna have you running to the store for chapstick by the time this masterpiece is over....I promise.

And where does the ultimate battle between good and evil take place? The tiny town of Nilbog (here's a super fun activity....write NILBOG on a flashcard and hold it up the mirror.....I think you will be pleasantly surprised). This is where the goblins live, and once you see this sleepy little town, you will instantly know that obviously goblins don't have great taste in Real Estate. The ill-fated Waits family has chosen Nilbog as the ideal vacation getaway....complete with dust and dull atmosphere.....and the aforementioned gay quartet is not far behind. And ALL of them are being eyed as potential snacks by the ever-hungry Trol....um, I mean GOBLINS......

Nothing in this movie makes sense....so don't even try to make sense out of it. There is the horrible plot to turn all the humans into globs of "manplant" (the goblins' favorite dish), gratuitous green food, killer popcorn attacks, a house that looks like a church that looks like a house, a mind-numbing "welcome to the neighborhood" chant complete with musical score and tainted food, some of the BEST movie lines EVER (MICHEAL.....who are the goblins????), TONS of wooden acting, a styrofoam Stonehenge block with absolutely no believable worth in the "story", a Mullet-wielding preacher, and a cutting-edge special effect (yes, that was singular, NOT plural....all you get is black screen with a pathetic lightning bolt a grand total of 14 or so times). What makes this movie all the more sad and yet funny at the same time is that the director actually thought he was making a truly GOOD movie.....the actors have all since admitted they knew it was crap from the get-go, but most of them have a pretty good sense of humor about it.....after all, most of them were just picked off the street and asked if they wanted to be in a movie. True story.

Well, that pretty much sums it up.....the movie is total DRECK, from start to finish. And the scary thing is....not only is it actually fun to watch....it's ADDICTIVE...you WILL end up having drinking parties around this one, I assure you. Just because it gets one star does NOT mean it's not enjoyable.....it's that train wreck that you just can't take your eyes off of.

Ten Stars....not because it's good....because it's so BAD it's good.
7 out of 8 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
The Masterpiece of Bad
morphricky3 July 2012
This movie has everything that is bad. Acting, effects, costumes, story... everything is terrible!

The obvious glaring problem with the movie is that it's a horror movie with a PG-13 rating, yet the story and how everything is told feels like it's for a five year old. Getting the hots for someone? It makes popcorn pop from any corn nearby. I would expect something like that from Looney Tunes!

Despite the low rating, this is one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. Everything is so bad I was crying and howling with laughter. It's truly a masterpiece of how terrible a movie can get. Not in a "it's so bad it's boring", but in a "I can't believe my eyes!" bad way.
4 out of 4 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
You just can't relieve yourself on hospitality.
Frank Markland24 October 2006
A family travels to Nilbog where things are mighty strange. People go to bed in the middle of the day, people drink sour milk and yet no meat is sold in that town, what's even more strange is that it's not on any map. (Although it was obviously filmed in Utah as I strangely recognized some of the landscape) However goblins run this town and try to convince humans to eat some type of sludge which turns people into plants and our family armed with baloney sandwiches (!) clear off to stop the goblins and destroy the Stonehenge they worship. Oh and the main lead is a boy who sees his dead grandfather. The Sixth Sense this obviously isn't, although I don't think you'll be harder pressed to find a much worse movie than this stinker. It's all horrendous, atrociously acted and full of awkward moments (Check out the homoeroticism between the boyfriend and his friends who sleep in the same bed without shirts!) and some of the worst special effects ever. Like Silent Night Deadly Night Part 2, Demolition High and R.O.T.O.R it takes the work of a true genius to make such a movie. It's impossible to make a movie like this on purpose and because this was done with serious intentions, I fully acknowledge it is as a true treasure of goofy cinema. I mean this is a movie that tries to ask us to accept a hero who uses a double decker baloney sandwich as a weapon. Or a twist ending that makes very little sense (on par with the rest of the movie) and cheap sets that define poverty row production. This has somehow become a cult classic and I must admit that if there is a Troll 2 convention near my area, I'll go. As it stands now, I worship this as one of the best comedies ever made.

1/2* out of 4-(Awful)
6 out of 7 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
No! Don't miss this movie! (or eat me)
randommesspaul24 May 2006
This is it. The movie that started the obsession. It was at a time in my life when movies were getting dull. Comedies were easy watching, but just never made me actually laugh. Blockbusters were great, but getting too long, so I never watched one more than once. There was a hole in my movie watching life, that needed filling. Then came along Troll 2. I never knew a bad movie could be so magical.

Let's start with a general overview of the plot. The Wait family go on holiday to the quaint backward village of 'Nilbog' (clever that) but unbeknown to them, it is actually the Goblin kingdom. Lucky for them, however, all the Goblins are vegetarians, and so are repulsed with the idea of eating humans. Or are they? No, for you see, rather than eating vegetables, like most vegetarians seem to enjoy, the Goblins would rather change the humans into a green goo, and then eat that. It's up to Joshua and his dead grandpa to save the day.

Now Joshua seems to know the score right from the start. Being a kid, an annoying one at that, nobody seems to believe a word he says. So together, Joshua and his Grandpa Seth think of ingenious ways to stop the goblins. For example, during the longest thirty seconds ever (somewhere in the region of one minute twenty-six) Joshua is faced with the problem of how to stop his family from eating the evil goblin vegetative matter. I won't explain what he does, but needless to say, his father explains it well enough, "You can't p**s on hospitality". I'm assuming that is the same hospitality that later involves the entire town breaking into their house when they aren't there and having a party.

In case you hadn't gathered, Troll 2 has a severe anti-vegetarian theme. Broth contains "the concentration of all the vegetable properties of the earth", or a nice green cake is made "with wild nettles and a few organic additives to make it delicious and purify the intestines". This is all described by the Evil 'Eyebrows' Goblin Queen with the most sinister voice she could muster up. In fact vegetarianism is not only made to sound extremely sinister and evil, but is also equated with the church of Satan (the Evil 'Eyebrows' Goblin Queen's house). To be honest, everybody has been thinking it for years, it's about time someone was bold enough to stand up and say it. And that was nearly twenty years ago. You can't deny that the writers of troll 2 were way ahead of their time on that one.

Speaking of Evil 'Eyebrows' Goblin Queen's house, I am brought to a point regarding two of the characters. After being attacked in the woods by group of goblins, they very smartly run away. I can't agree, however, that their decision to seek refuge in the first house they saw was a good one. That house being a satanically converted church, complete with up-turned crosses, burning torches, and bizarre camera angles. This is the most obviously evil building that has ever been built. I'm sure it wouldn't take much more searching to find a nice pleasant residential area. I suppose they were probably pretty desperate. The owner of the 'house' turns out to resemble a cross between your mental Aunt Petunia who has a fetish for cats and a Goth with animated eyebrows and scurvy. Desperate or not you would certainly be suspicious of the strange smoking broth you are offered.

Not only does the movie preach anti-vegetarianism, but also has a subtle anti-Irish theme running throughout. For you see the Goblins all have a "mole the shape of a clover leaf". Again, something that everybody has been thinking for years, but only the writers of troll 2 have been bold enough to say it out loud.

This is a movie that you could write a dissertation on. There is so much I haven't mentioned here, and don't have the space too (I don't want to bore people too much. But here is a quick list of things to watch out for when (yes, when) you watch it,

* backwards hand goggle dance

* felt tip freckles

* the 'cup' of nilbog ice-cream

* the casio keyboard sound track

* an abundance of green goo

* popcorn sex!

* No Trolls!

* Coffee…The Devils Drink!

* Sexual repression turning you into a homo!

* Tightening your belt loop one notch to avoid hunger pains!

* talking directly to the camera!

* double Bologna sandwich!

* The power of Goodness!

* Tree people!

* Sheriff Gene Freak!

Conclusion

This is the only movie I have heard of that is repeatedly described as an infectious disease. Once you see it, you will want to spread it around, make sure as many people can see it as possible. Only the power of goodness can defeat this movie. The best bit is, it's available on Amazon for just a couple of quid! Woo-Hoo!
6 out of 7 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
10/10
Hysterical-You haven't seen anything until you've seen TROLL 2!
KryptoniteCornCob17 February 2005
Warning: Spoilers
(Contains 1 minor spoiler (noted later in review, otherwise spoiler-free)

Let's see..where do i start? This is unquestionably the funniest movie i have seen in my life. I had only heard bad things about this movie (to avoid it, etc.) but i came across the Troll/Troll 2 DVD used at a local store, and i like the first movie, so i bought it. Now don't get me wrong, i love the first movie, but Troll 2..oh man..i had no idea what i was in for until i watched it. i mean WoW, this movie is so bad, so horrible, that i just couldn't help but cry from laughter just about every 5-10 minutes. From the acting (if it can even be called that) to the 'plot', to the costumes, *Everything* about this movie is so over-the-top horrid/ridiculous, that it makes this movie one of, if not the best comedy ever made. While Troll 1, of course, is the meat & potatoes of this DVD, Troll 2, unbelievably, is the true reason to buy this DVD. It is so compellingly entertaining, is HAS to be seen to believed. Troll 2 rivals every so-bad-it's-hilariously good/entertaining movie that i've ever seen. It beats Halloween III, Link, It's Pat, Cabin boy, The good son, Sleepwalkers, and C.H.U.D. just to name a few. Don't get me wrong, i mean that in a good way, as i love the above movies, it's just that i didn't think it could get any better than those movies--and then Troll 2 happened. This movie is easily the king of cheese, and i also mean that in a good way, because regardless if it was indeed unintentional or not to make such a hilarious movie, it succeeds at what almost every current Hollywood fails at--Troll 2 is actually entertaining. And in the end, that's ultimately what matters--is that a movie is entertaining and holds the viewers' interest for the entire duration. Troll 2 does just that and much more. And it's actually extremely successful as a comedy. (WARNING: Minor spoiler ahead) If Troll 2 doesn't make you laugh throughout, just wait until you see what the little kid ends up pulling out of a carry sack (given to him by his grandfather)towards the end of the movie to be used as a 'secret weapon' to defeat the goblins. That scene has got to be the funniest thing i have ever seen in *any* movie. At that point, my eyes were so full of tears from laughing, that i couldn't concentrate on the movie and so i had to momentarily pause the movie and recollect myself. In closing, to every fan of cheesy cinema out there-believe me when i tell you, this movie is rich. You haven't seen anything until you've seen TROLL 2. It's hysterical. It should be in every fan's collection. Go out and buy it now before it goes out-of-print. You'll regret it later. This movie is so good and hysterically entertaining, that i can't help but give it a 10 out of 10 rating. Troll 2 is simply great. I could watch it again and again and not get tired of it. To the makers of this movie: You have made an excellent movie and i would love to see a multi-disc special edition DVD set for Troll 2! Do it for the fans!
17 out of 25 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
Suckfest
blackpurple779 April 2005
Warning: Spoilers
This is so horrible yet laughable at the same time. It's definitely worth watching just to goof on with friends. First off, the fact that they never mention the cheap k-mart costumed creatures as trolls (The Friggin' title of the film!!) but as Goblins should already say they were losing the concept quickly. But I guess the fact that the writer had the genius idea of naming the town Nilbog (Goblin spelled backwards) there was no turning back. OK, fine. So they're Goblins not Trolls, then why throw in a Leprachaun mythos by having them all be burned with clover scars and evil green St.Patty's day food? Which by the way when eaten turns you into a goblin. Hilarious scene where the kid prevents his family from eating this food. Hint: Urine for a surprise.

This is nothing compared to the actual thing he uses to finally defeat the goblins in the end. I'm gonna tell you, since it's so retarded. It's a friggin' Balogna sandwich!!! What the Hell!!! He eats it, because apparently the Gobbys are vegatarians and just can't stand meat? Whatever.

BY the way the sandwich is supplied by his dead grandfather who constantly pops in and out of scenes. Acting is 100% horrible. Story sucks, but funny as all hell!
12 out of 17 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
A more fitting tagline might have been "What the hell was that?"
Kristine4 February 2011
Warning: Spoilers
Oh, my God, where do I even begin with this film that hasn't already been said? Troll 2 is so famous that I think it can't be considered a cult film any more as it's gone more mainstream. Again, how I never saw this film until last night I don't know. I've heard so much about these Troll movies that it's just crazy how a film so bad has such a huge reputation. The Room by Tommy Wiseau has recently taken over the "king of good bad movies" crown but I had to see who was the former king and Troll 2 often came up in the conversation. Now of course due to YouTube the most famous scene being the "They're eating her and then they're going to eat me! Oh, my Goooooood!" has been uploaded too many times to count. But this film is so much more than that: horrifically bad acting, awful special effects, a weird "plot", bad writing and just craziness ensues.

Joshua Waits is being contacted by his dead Grandpa Seth. Seth informs Joshua of evil creatures known as goblins roaming the world who force or trick humans into consuming poisoned food which will turn them into the goblin's favorite type of food, vegetables. The goblins would then eat them.Meanwhile Joshua's sister, Holly, receives a visit from her boyfriend Elliot. She accuses him of spending too much time with his friends. Since she and the rest of the family are going to Nilbog for a holiday, he offers to meet her on the way. She agrees but under the condition that he will come alone without his friends. However, Elliot does not turn up at their meeting point and Holly's parents, Michael and Diane, go on without him. They meet him further up the route but she angrily dismisses him since he is accompanied by his friends. A meal has been prepared at the house where they are staying, but Joshua's grandfather shows up again and freezes time for thirty seconds, giving Joshua a chance to stand up on the table and urinate on the food, and thus prevent his family from eating. Meanwhile one of Elliot's friends, Arnold, goes out for a walk and meets a woman being pursued by the goblins. Running away, they enter the house of the goblins' druid leader, Creedence, who uses the "Stonehenge Magic Stone" to give the goblins power. Creedence dupes the two into drinking a magic potion which causes the woman to disintegrate into a puddle of vegetable matter which is then eaten by the goblins, and now we know why everyone in the town is so eager to make the family eat their food, even though they're not so subtle about it.

Between the "you can't p*** on hospitality" scene to the corn on the cob seduction scene, this movie is unbelievable. I don't know who was the worst actor in here but I'd say the leading contender is Deborah Reed who plays Creedence, the leader bad troll, I guess it was one of those "non acting" days. She was beyond over the top making you wonder what she was inhaling before each shoot. I love how the dead grandpa is talking to his young grandson, why wouldn't he just haunt one of the adults so maybe someone who doesn't sound like they have a wild imagination talk some sense into this family who is going to "Nilborg"… mmph! Sorry, I'm still recovering from this movie, why the family would take vacation to this weird town is beyond me and how they didn't drive away with those "subtle" trolls in disguise as humans who keep telling them to eat, I mean just… wow! Not to mention that they say they're vegetarian trolls, yet are turning human meat into vegetables, I mean, any vegan opinions? Bologna is their ultimate enemy and is by far the weirdest way to defeat an evil monster. I would say this movie is definitely a miracle, how it was created, who knows? Any of the actors or writers realize how bad this was while shooting it? I suppose I should see the documentary "Best Worst Movie" in order to find out, but the question is even if I want to see it? I still need to recover from Troll 2, all I can say is that after I finished watching this movie I finally snapped out of my mind set to see that I had been robbed and was sitting on the floor and the robber left a note saying how he felt bad for me that I was watching Troll 2 and that I would have no meaning for life any more after viewing it.

1/10
38 out of 66 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
10/10
Unbelievably Good!!!!
richardmbeaverii12 January 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Well, I happened to come across Troll 2 while at the local supermarket, as I was picking up some marshmallows, corn, and bread for dinner. I turned to look out of the corner of my eye, in the $1 bin lay this wonderful little beauty, one of the greatest horror/suspense/thrillers that one can ever hope to buy.

Who would have thought that Claudio Fragasso's dream of cinema gold would be accomplished with Troll 2? The film is just an absolute wet dream for film lovers and critics all around, and it's no surprise with all the things it has to offer, but not limited to: quirky and clever lines, awesome special effects, a star-filled cast and crew, state of the art equipment and cinematography, and the perfect plot, what more could anyone ask for? The cast and their execution of the lines is absolutely curtains. Michael Stephenson as the lovable Joshua Waits gives one of his best performances, especially with the scene peeing on the food, that is just what this film needed!! George Hardy also gives one of his best performances, and I tell you, "You can't p*ss on hospitality, I won't allow it!" My family is always in silence from his performance, it's almost like he God commanding us from heaven. Finally the great Robert Ormsby, who plays Grandpa Seth. He steals the screen as the dead grandfather, whom Joshua talks to. His performance needs to be reviewed by screenplay writers and actors from all over, this is textbook acting. I would love to list the rest of this brilliant cast, but there are too many great things about their performance that would take too many pages.

This film is probably one of the most perfect films I have had the pleasure to watch. It ranks better among many other classics of horror, such as Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, and even Saw. This film has everything in those films, and more! If you have not seen Troll 2 yet, forget all other movies, this is the must-see film of 2009!!!
7 out of 9 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
4/10
Curiosity killed me...
electronsexparty6 June 2005
Warning: Spoilers
I saw the Troll I and II double feature at Blockbuster and my first thought was "AWESOME!!!" I knew they'd be bad and I'd love every minute. Plus Troll II is like 7 on the bottom 100 and I wanted to see how bad it really was.

Unlike Troll I, which is funny, cute and entertaining, Troll II is total crap. The movie opens with a bad voice over telling a ridiculous story about Goblins. Goblins, mind you, not Trolls. No one really cares about any of it. The bad voice is that of Grandpa Seth, who is dead. He is pretty bad actor with a hilariously serious look constantly on his face. His expression makes up for his acting. He is telling the story in a Princess Bride fashion to Joshua, an ugly little boy who is the best actor in the movie and that is not saying much. Moving on. The rest of Joshua's family are HORRIBLE actors- the worst I've ever seen. The acting is so bad you'll want to jump into the movie and take over because you know you're Oscar worthy compared to them. Or you'll just wish they would die. There is some mention of a farmer exchange program the family is taking part in. Joshua's sister has a tiff with her undeniably gay boyfriend about his friends (aka lovers).

The family goes to Nilbog. It's deserted. The family is stupid for even going there for whatever reason. Grandpa Seth warns Josh of goblins and the green slime that turns you into goblin chow. Joshua pees on slimy food because his family is blind and about to eat it. The rest of the movie just gets crappier and crappier. There is a hideous German Goblin woman... aww, I'm not even going to go into it. This movie is so utterly stupid it doesn't even deserve a plot synopsis. The plot is bad, the dialogue is cringe worthy and the acting is so bad I wished everyone death in the first five minutes.

This movie isn't even so BAD it's GOOD, it's just bad. Don't ever watch if you can help it.
15 out of 23 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Another reason to dislike vegetarianism
Allexander Lyons15 August 2011
Warning: Spoilers
Exactly what is that makes Troll 2 so bad? Could it be the atrocious acting? The cringeworthy dialogue? The costumes that look as though they came from the Halloween section at K-Mart? The bizarre yet unintentional homosexual subtext? The unexplained disappearance of certain characters? The fact that the monsters who terrorize the heroes in this movie are referred to as goblins not trolls? I could go on and on...

I never saw the first Troll movie, but I'm told that you don't need to see it as the two films are connected in name only. Troll 2 is a rather simple story about the suburban Waits family who decide to exchange houses with a farm family in the town of Nilbog (I'm sure everyone knows the genius behind this name by now). How or why they made such an arrangement is, of course, not explained, as are many other things to come later this film. This also coincides with the youngest son, Joshua's, late-night talks with his deceased Grandpa, who tells him stories about goblins that seek to turn humans into plants and eat them. Once they arrive in Nilbog, Grandpa Seth continuously warns Joshua that the town is inhabited by those very same goblins and he must stop his family from eating anything the Nilbogians offer them. Yes, this really is the plot.

Troll 2 was made by Italians with a limited knowledge of English. And it shows with every line of nonsense the characters spout. According to Italian logic, a kick to the groin can make you homosexual, it's healthy to completely forget about your loved ones once they pass on, ghosts can suffer from a bad sense of direction, tightening your belt can ease starvation, and the only song most people know or like is "Row Row Row Your Boat." Also, corn is apparently an aphrodisiac. I won't go in to the ridiculousness of the actual quotes; you can see most of them on this page.

The nonsensical dialogue is naturally accompanied by nonsensical behavior. A man running from the goblins (culminating in the legendary "They're eating her and then they're gonna eat me" scene) seeks refuge in the creepiest house he can find. Joshua stops his family from eating poisoned food by peeing on it and throwing Molotov cocktails at them. Teenage boys have no qualms about sleeping together half-naked. The citizens of Nilbog don't even try not to act suspicious yet no one ever questions their motives. Everyone is perfectly willing to consume spoiled milk and food covered in green slime without a second thought. The characters were so unbelievably stupid and blind that I often wondered why Joshua didn't just throw in the towel and let the Nilbogians eat his idiot family.

Well, you have bad dialogue and behavior that defies explanation. What's the next logical step? Get bad actors, of course! The actors in this film have admitted to how inexperienced they were and once again, it shows. The standouts in bad acting would have to be Mama Waits and sister Holly. The mother's bug-eyed expressions and flat line delivery makes her seem cold and distant and the actress portraying Holly wouldn't have gotten a part in one of my high school plays. On the other end of the spectrum you have the preacher, the shop owner, and of course, the deliciously hammy Creedence. These three, while by no means good actors, at least appear to be putting some effort into their performances. Creedence nearly steals every scene she's in, not that that's a difficult accomplishment. I wonder if she had fun making this movie because it sure looks like it.

I could go on about more of the negatives of this film: the cheap goblin costumes, the bargain basement special effects (the recycled lightning bolt being the most glaring one), the cheap and out-of-place music score, the ridiculous plot developments (the goblins are repelled by a bologna sandwich, Grandpa Seth does more dead than most people do alive, the contradictory twist ending), but it would be like shooting fish in a barrel. That and I only have 1000 words.

Overall, Troll 2 is one of the funnest, most inept horror films you'll ever see; so much so, that I'm sure somewhere the spirit of Ed Wood is looking down upon it and smiling. Maybe he can freeze time like Grandpa Seth so we can appreciate it that much longer.
3 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
2/10
A movie of rich depth
Joseph K10 November 2010
So, if you're actually planning on watching this movie, you should be warned. It's not very good. I mean, really not good. At all. It's horrible. It's worse than horrible. Take the worst movie you've ever seen and multiply it by Graham's Number and you'll be close to how horrible this movie is. When someone says about a mediocre movie, "This is the worst movie ever!" you know they haven't seen this movie. Anyone who has seen this movie would be much more likely to say, "The movie I saw is pretty bad, but, it's not as bad as Troll 2." But it's unfair to compare because Troll 2 is like in a whole separate category.

Among the movies that are the worst of the worst, this one's not quite among the bottom dregs, which, to me, includes movies like Manos, Zaat, Beast of Yucca Flats and Pocket Ninjas (among those I've seen). Movies that have NO redeeming value. This movie sort of has redeeming values, which pushes it up (barely) to a 2 out of 10 in my book.

So what are these redeeming values, you ask. Well, there's the hammy over-acting of the witch Creedence, played by Deborah Reed. She doesn't appear to be trying to be funny, but her performance is so over the top, I comes across as comic gold. Then there's some weirdly memorable scenes, like the one where the witch makes out with a guy with a corncob between her teeth and then the room starts filling up with popcorn. And who can forget the scene where the boy, Joshua, pisses on everyone's food to save them (should I even try to explain this)? And then there's the famous "Oh my God!" line that's been popularized as one of the worst death scenes in film history.

To explain all the things about this movie that went wrong would exceed the character limit of this review, by a lot - a lot a lot. I won't even try. Unless you're really into bad movies, you should stay away from this movie, far away. You shouldn't even watch a movie on a video player that's ever been use to play this movie. It'd probably make even Citizen Kane suck by it's residual suckitude. Any video player that's been used to watch this movie should be subsequently burned and buried deep underground to prevent the infection from spreading. But if you are into bad movies and you love to laugh at them, this one is definitely worth laughing at.
3 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
8/10
It's Nilbog because Llort looks too stupid
superguapo200013 September 2010
Warning: Spoilers
Vegetarian goblins who look like humans but are ruled by bona fide goblins clad in burlap, as well as a deranged evil witch who seduces men with popcorn plan to eat whiny little boy Joshua's clueless family, visitors to the goblins' hometown of Nilbog, and Joshua's lunatic break-dancing sister's boyfriend and his idiot friends by luring them to ingest day-glo green colored food and bad milk which turns them into plants while Joshua's grandfather's ghost tries to alert Joshua of the imminent danger by continually appearing at random moments and occasionally providing bologna.

Recommended.
3 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
An error has occured. Please try again.

See also

Awards | FAQ | User Ratings | External Reviews | Metacritic Reviews


Recently Viewed