Lethal Weapon 3 (1992)
Riggs: We can't shoot a dog. People? Okay, but not dogs.
Martin Riggs: After all the shit we've been through, don't you get it? Don't you get it? When you retire, you're not just retiring you, you're retiring us. You're retiring us.
Roger Murtaugh: That's not my problem. That's not my problem!
Martin Riggs: You're the only family I've got! I've got three beautiful kids, I love them, they're yours. Trish does my laundry, I live in your icebox, I live in your life! What am I gonna do? What am I supposed to do?
Martin Riggs: Look, that kid was a killer, alright? That wasn't a Tinker Toy in his hand, that was a machine pistol with twin carbies and all the trimmings, man! He would've drilled you, me, anybody that came along, alright? You had no choice.
Roger Murtaugh: Oh no, it didn't happen to you, Riggs, it happened to me! It happened to me! I killed that kid, I killed that boy. Oh yeah, oh you killed a lot of people, you kill a fuckin' lot of people. You ever kill a baby?
Martin Riggs: You selfish...
Roger Murtaugh: You got ice in your veins. You don't kill a boy like Nick.
Martin Riggs: You selfish bastard! You selfish bastard, you're just thinking about yourself! What about me? We're partners, we are partners. What happens to you, happens to me.
Roger Murtaugh: I hope that when I do retire your new partner is just like you.
Martin Riggs: That won't happen to me because there are winners and there are losers, and God wouldn't do that to me.
Lorna Cole: This PMS. It's murder.
Roger Murtaugh: Yeah, I know what you mean. I've been married 25 years.
Leo Getz: Those doctors are savages. I mean, where does it say that a gunshot wound requires a rectal exam?
[Murtaugh rolls his eyes at Riggs]
Leo Getz: Yeah. With a telescope big enough to see Venus!
Martin Riggs: I guess all they saw was Uranus, huh?
Leo Getz: Oh, that's great, Riggs. Ha ha. That's great. Well, you know what I say? They FUCK you at the hospital! First they DRUG you, then they FUCK you! And when they're done FUCKING you, along comes the insurance company and FUCKS you some more! Ten dollars for a FUCKING aspirin that's not even covered!
Cop in boat: [to Riggs and Murtaugh, who are in the water] Whatta you boys doin' down there?
Martin Riggs: We're in the middle of a case... of scotch.
Roger Murtaugh: Seven days to retirement, I'm busted down to patrolman.
Martin Riggs: I should have cut the red wire.
Roger Murtaugh: You did cut the red wire.
Martin Riggs: No, I didn't, I cut the blue wire.
Roger Murtaugh: That's what I meant. We should have waited for the bomb squad!
Martin Riggs: Am I gonna have to listen to this every day?
Roger Murtaugh: Every day until I retire.
Martin Riggs: Well, that'll be a week too long for me.
Roger Murtaugh: My feet are killing me...
Martin Riggs: Yeah, your feet are killing me, too.
Roger Murtaugh: Well, how could my feet be killing you?
Martin Riggs: 'Cause I gotta listen to you bitch about them all day!
Roger Murtaugh: Yeah, and you're gonna have to listen to me bitch, because you should have cut the red wire!
[during a fight, Lorna grabs a man's crotch, making Murtaugh and Riggs wince]
Martin Riggs: Grabbed his clusters!
Trish: Aren't you forgetting something?
Roger Murtaugh: Oh.
Trish: [thrusts bulletproof vest upon him] THIS! You wear it, you eat in it, you sleep in it! Okay? 6 more days! And Riggs, keep an eye on him.
Martin Riggs: Okay.
Roger Murtaugh: She loves me.
[Travis is coming at Riggs with a tractor]
Jack Travis: Killed in the line of duty, Riggs!
[Riggs shoots the tractor, but the bullets bounce off it]
Jack Travis: You'll get a *good funeral* from the department, Riggs!
[Murtaugh throws a machine gun towards Riggs]
Roger Murtaugh: Riggs! Cop killers!
[Riggs shoots through the tractor and hits Travis]
Martin Riggs: Ex-cop killers!
[Travis looks up and sees Riggs]
Jack Travis: Go to hell, Riggs.
Martin Riggs: You first!
[Riggs takes Travis' foot off the brake causing the tractor to crash in to the building and the whole building crashes down on Travis]
Leo Getz: I'm dying Rodge! I'm so cold!
Roger Murtaugh: Leo, you're laying on the ice.
Leo Getz: I am?
Roger Murtaugh: Yeah!
Riggs: [to unconscious crook] You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say ain't gonna be much.
Delores: You tell that man he's the jam in my jelly roll!
[a few minutes later, after Delores leaves]
Martin Riggs: Delores says you're the jam in her jelly roll.
Roger Murtaugh: What am I gonna do, Riggs? She won't leave me alone. She sends me flowers, calls my house all hours of the day.
Martin Riggs: You shouldn't have led her on.
Lorna Cole: Close is a lingerie shop without a front window.
Lorna Cole: Cover me!
Roger Murtaugh: Cover you? Who's going to cover me? Cover me! Cover him! Cover everybody! When is someone gonna cover me for a change?
[Riggs and Murtaugh look sheepishly at the other cops on the building explosion scene. Murtaugh can only hold up the stray cat. The others applaud sarcastically]
[Riggs and Murtaugh sink back behind their car]
Martin Riggs: Oops!
Roger Murtaugh: Right, oops.
Captain Ed Murphy: Wait a minute! Look, maybe these guys can contribute something to this case.
Ernie - Detective: From what I've seen of their records, the only thing they do contribute is mayhem and chaos.
Martin Riggs: No, I'm Chaos, and he's Mayhem. We're a double act. What are we, required reading, or something?
Lorna Cole: As a matter of fact, you are. It's a cross between Police Gazette and Mad Magazine.
Martin Riggs: He's done this twice, oh, damn! I'm gonna suck his eyes out through his nose!
[while shooting Lorna with cop-killer bullets]
Jack Travis: Come on in, bitch! Door's open!
Roger Murtaugh: I knew you couldn't stop smoking.
Martin Riggs: I'm only smoking to take my mind off my dog biscuit problem.
Roger Murtaugh: What dog biscuit problem?
Martin Riggs: Well I been chasing more cars lately and uh, y'know, when I try and lick my balls I keep falling off the couch.
Martin Riggs: Hey, Ernie.
Ernie - Detective: Hey, Riggs. Cut any loose wires lately?
Martin Riggs: Nah, I haven't done that for a couple days now.
Ernie - Detective: Right. Next time...
Ernie - Detective: Yeah, wait for the bomb squad! It's our job, remember?
Martin Riggs: Hey, I saved a cat. What else do you want?
Ernie - Detective: Great. I love cats.
Lorna Cole: Are you trying to bait me, Riggs?
Martin Riggs: I'm a master of it.
Lorna Cole: Now, that I can believe.
Martin Riggs: [punching a suspect who's waking from unconsciousness] Back to bed. Back to bed.
[Riggs uncovers the bomb in the ICSI building]
Martin Riggs: Oh my, more plastic than Cher. I love this job.
[Something jumps on the car with the bomb in it. They stand to see what it is, and a stray cat meows at them]
Roger Murtaugh: Riggs, everyone else is outside. Only me, you and this cat are dumb enough to be in here.
Martin Riggs: Nearly a CAT-astrophe, huh?
[In an attempt to disable a car bomb, Riggs accidentally cuts the wrong wire, causing the bomb's time to accelerate]
Martin Riggs: [smiling] Hey, Rog?
Roger Murtaugh: Yeah?
Martin Riggs: [suddenly alarmed; about the cat on the car roof] GRAB THAT CAT!
Roger Murtaugh: [also alarmed] AGH!
[Cole is taking on 5 bad guys while Riggs is subduing one]
Lorna Cole: How are you doing, hon?
Martin Riggs: Oh, this guy's on parole.
Lorna Cole: And this guy's an *ASSHOLE*!
[kicks him in the groin]
Roger Murtaugh: I got 8 days to my retirement, and I will NOT make a stupid mistake!
Martin Riggs: Look, there is no bomb in that building! I will bet vital parts of my anatomy to the fact! Trust me, okay? Trust me!
Roger Murtaugh: That's usually my first mistake!
[Leo is being blocked by a doctor at a hospital]
Leo Getz: My pass? You want to see my pass?
Leo Getz: [holds up a broken arm in a sling] Here is my f-ing Pass!
Darryl's Father: [to Murtaugh, at Darryl's funeral] You want to do something, Sergeant Murtaugh? You find the man that put the gun in my son's hand.
[Travis buries a henchman in cement]
Jack Travis: Now we've got a relationship we can build on.
Captain Ed Murphy: You used to be one of US, for Christ's sake!
Jack Travis: You know what a future a cop has, Murph? None. You punch a clock for 30 years, retirement, pension... nothin' to do. Drunk at noon, bullet in the brain by evening. Well, not for this kid! The police department's got it all: guns, ammo, drugs, cash... it's a one-stop shopping center. If you've got the balls and the brains, there's not a fucking thing anyone can do about it!
Captain Ed Murphy: You're already fucking history, Jack. And YOU KNOW IT!
Jack Travis: No, Murph. I'm just getting started!
Herman Walters: Hey, Murph, people usually cross the street when they see me coming.
Captain Ed Murphy: Yeah, well, I didn't have time.
Tyrone: You sunk your money into this, all the way out here in the middle of the fucking desert?
Jack Travis: That's right. You know why this is such a gold mine?
Tyrone: Do tell me.
Jack Travis: Because nobody wants to live next to somebody like you, Tyrone. You're a menace to society.
Tyrone: Jack, I came out here to do business, not be insulted by you.
Jack Travis: Relax, Tyrone. Like houses, friendships need strong foundations.