Remember Christopher Columbus's voyage and how he found America? Do you remember Christopher's traveling companion Pico the wood worm? I don't either. Do you remember how Columbus's worst enemy was a swarm of evil bees who held some sort of bug princess captive? Neither do I. In fact, you can't even say this movie has any fact to it. True there was a man named Christopher Columbus, but that's all they got right (and the names of the ships), everything else just makes no sense. Whoever animated this must've been high, and whoever wrote it must've been mentally retarded.
Pico the woodworm (voiced by Corey Feldman) somehow becomes best friends with Christopher Columbus (voiced by Dom Deluise) and they travel off to prove the world isn't flat. Pico meets Marylin the fairy princess of the moon sprite (Whatever the heck that is), and keeps fantasizing about her. Columbus and his crew of 3 or 4 men, 3 rats and 1 woodworm set out and find America in about 2 days time, just like it happened in real life. The climax involves Columbus fighting a swarm of bees and trying to take gold from what looks like an Aztec or Mayan temple.
This movie should have never been made! What was the point of it? It makes no sense whatsoever. Columbus and a woodworm travel to America, okay, I buy that. They try to tell the tale, but also add an animated comic relief for the kiddies, but Pico isn't even a comic relief, he's the main character. Columbus is more like the comic relief and I've seen shots to the head that are funnier than Columbus's non stop ranting. The animation is freaking horrible! Half the time when a character talks their mouth isn't even moving. The swarm of bees that shouldn't have even been in the movie to begin with looked like a big swarm of feces, which is how I can also sum up the film...it's nothing but a big pile of feces. The character designs are also awful, with everyone having a big nose, including Pico who's nose looks like one of those Bugle potato chips. The dialogue seems ad libbed, as does the entire script. I know this movie was originally made in German, but seriously, couldn't they at least try to match the mouths instead of ad libbing bad dialogue the entire movie. Unfortunately, this is also a musical, with some really awful songs and even worse singing. The climax is anti-climactic and only lasts for about 2 minutes, never putting the characters in harms way, though it would've been much more enjoyable to see the whole lot of them killed.
If you couldn't figure it out, I hate this movie. It's the most awful animated film I've ever seen, and I've seen some real stinkers. This might be one of the worst movies ever made. It has no real plot and the animation is horrid. Avoid it at all costs!
My rating: BOMB/****. 80 mins. Rated G.
