Melrose Place

Melrose Place ain't no Emmy winner but it sure is addictive. It's hard to resist the temptation to tune in daily to follow the absurd relationship dramas of this crew of snotty millionaires. In many instances it's just hilarious, for instance crazy Kimberley committing Peter to a mental institute before administering shock therapy and almost a lobotomy (hahahahaha), or Michael's wedding vows to Jane on their second wedding, "Jane you were my first wife, my favourite wife and I hope to god my last wife." The outrageous antics and schemes to win over lovers combined with the fact that every second character seems to be a murderer or a criminal of some sort, it is a wonder that they are not all in jail!

As rich and successful as they are, is this not the unluckiest group of people on television? (well except for the Days of Our Lives cast who all have brain implants and amnesia). I mean they've all been cheated on, dumped, married 4-5 times, been shot, run over, raped, sued, molested, paralysed, lobotimised, burnt, blinded, drowned, blown up, assaulted, tossed out windows, buried alive, stalked by psycho lovers, involved in war; gone bankrupt; suffered from drug addictions, impotency and alcoholism; had cancer, miscarriages, tumours, brain surgery, abusive parents, car wrecks and helicopter crashes just to name a few of the hardships inflicted upon these poor sods. You couldn't pay me to move into Melrose Place, that apartment block is the kiss of death. Seems to be quite the hangout for psychopathic freaks. The newspaper advertisment must read "Melrose Place Tenant Wanted: Must be unbalanced and of a psychotic nature, prone to fits of violence including murder and arson. Must also exhibit strong desire to destroy the lives of everyone you through infliction of emotional pain and suffering. Dodgy, unstable doctors preferred."

Granted, it's a silly show, but it's also the kind of program that makes you skip class so you can use the pay phone in the school lobby to ring home and remind your mum to tape it at 10 (yes I have done that). Can't help myself, I love it and recommend it to anyone looking for a good laugh and some light hearted entertainment.