Chancellor Gorkon: You don't trust me, do you? I don't blame you. If there is to be a brave new world, our generation is going to have the hardest time living in it.
General Chang: "To be or not to be?" That is the question which preoccupies our people, Captain Kirk. We need breathing room.
Captain James T. Kirk: Earth, Hitler, 1938.
General Chang: I beg your pardon.
Chancellor Gorkon: Well... I see we have a long way to go.
Captain Spock: Mr. Scott, I understand you're having difficulty with the warp drive. How much time do you require for repair?
Captain Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott: There's nothing wrong with the bloody thing...
Captain Spock: Mr. Scott, if we return to Spacedock, the assassins will surely find a way to dispose of their incriminating footwear, and we will never see the Captain or Doctor McCoy alive again.
Captain Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott: Could take weeks, sir.
Captain Spock: Thank you, Mr. Scott.
[Kirk's final Captain's Log]
Captain James T. Kirk: Captain's Log, stardate 9529.1. This is the final cruise of the Starship Enterprise under my command. This ship and her history will shortly become the care of another crew. To them and their posterity will we commit our future. They will continue the voyages we have begun, and journey to all the undiscovered countries, boldly going where no man... where no *one* has gone before.
Captain James T. Kirk: Spock, you want to know something? Everybody's human.
Captain Spock: I find that remark... insulting.
Captain Spock: There is an old Vulcan proverb: only Nixon could go to China.
General Chang: [over the public address speakers] "I am constant as the northern star."
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: I'd give real money if he'd shut up.
[Kirk and company have prevented the assassination attempt at Khitomer]
Azetbur: What's happened? What's the meaning of all of this?
Captain James T. Kirk: It's about the future, Madame Chancellor. Some people think the future means the end of history. Well, we haven't run out of history quite yet. Your father called the future - "the undiscovered country". People can be very frightened of change.
Azetbur: You've restored my father's faith.
Captain James T. Kirk: And you've restored my son's.
[Dictating his personal log]
Captain James T. Kirk: Captain's log, stardate 9522.6: I've never trusted Klingons, and I never will. I could never forgive them for the death of my boy. It seems to me our mission to escort the Chancellor of the Klingon High Council to a peace summit is problematic at best. Spock says this could be an historic occasion, and I'd like to believe him, but how on earth can history get past people like me?
General Chang: "Cry havoc, and let slip the Dogs of War."
General Chang: [prosecuting] Dr. McCoy, would you be so good as to tell me? What is your current medical status?
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: Well, aside from a touch of arthritis, I'd say pretty good.
[some scattered laughter from the audience; McCoy smiles, but sees Chang, unsmiling]
General Chang: [unamused] You have a singular wit, Doctor.
General Chang: I can see you, Kirk.
Captain James T. Kirk: Chang.
General Chang: Can you see me? Oh, now be honest, Captain, warrior to warrior. You do prefer it this way, don't you, as it was meant to be? No peace in our time. "Once more unto the breach, dear friends."
Captain Spock: Logic, logic, logic. Logic is the beginning of wisdom, Valeris, not the end.
[the Excelsior is knocked off course by a huge shockwave, and Commander Rand intercepts a message from the Klingon moon Praxis]
Klingon Officer: [in Klingon] This is an emergency! We have suffered...!
[the message abruptly cuts off, replaced by the seal of the Klingon Empire, and then Kerla's face]
Brigadier Kerla: This is Brigadier Kerla speaking for the High Command. There has been an incident on Praxis. However, everything is under control, we have no need for assistance. Obey treaty stipulations and remain outside the Neutral Zone. This transmission ends now.
Captain Hikaru Sulu: An *incident*?
Commander Janice Rand: Do we report this, sir?
Captain Hikaru Sulu: [turning to Rand] Are you kidding?
[Watching a replay of the torpedo hit]
Commander Pavel Chekov: It is Enterprise. We fired them.
Captain Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott: That is not possible! All weapons visually accounted for, sir.
Captain Spock: An ancestor of mine maintained that when you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. If we did not fire those torpedoes, another ship did.
General Chang: "Tickle us, do we not laugh? Prick us, do we not bleed? Wrong us, shall we not revenge?"
Chancellor Gorkon: You have not experienced Shakespeare until you have read him in the original Klingon.
General Chang: "taH pagh, taH be?"
[on whether to help the Klingons]
Captain James T. Kirk: They're animals.
Captain Spock: Jim, there is an historic opportunity here.
Captain James T. Kirk: Don't believe them. Don't trust them.
Captain Spock: They're dying.
Captain James T. Kirk: Let them die!
[pauses... Spock cocks his head in surprise. Kirk recoils and proceeds]
Captain James T. Kirk: Has it occurred to you that this crew is due to stand down in three months? We've done our bit for king and country! You should have trusted me.
Commander Pavel Chekov: I don't understand. If there was another ship underneath us, surely the assassins beamed aboard from that vessel, not Enterprise.
Captain Spock: You're forgetting something, Mr. Chekov. According to our ship's databanks, this ship fired those torpedoes. If we did, the killers are here. If we did not, whoever altered the databanks is here. In either case, what we are looking for, is here.
Captain James T. Kirk: [In a conversation with Spock] You're a great one for logic. I'm a great one for rushing in where angels fear to tread. We are both extremists. Reality is probably somewhere in between. I couldn't get past the death of my son.
Captain Spock: I was prejudiced by her accomplishments as a Vulcan.
Captain James T. Kirk: Gorkon had to die before I understood how prejudiced I was.
Cmdr. Nyota Uhura: You understand, we have lost all contact with the Captain and Dr. McCoy.
Captain Spock: Yes, at the moment, they are surrounded by a magnetic shield. However, if I know the Captain, by this time, he is deep into planning his escape.
[Cut to Captain Kirk on the losing end of a fist fight with an alien at least twice his size]
Captain James T. Kirk: Valeris, know anything about a radiation surge?
Lieutenant Valeris: Sir?
Captain James T. Kirk: Chekov?
Commander Pavel Chekov: Only the size of my head.
Captain James T. Kirk: [to himself] I know what you mean.
Captain Spock: [to Lt. Valeris] Lieutenant, the torpedo hit, once again, please.
[Valeris replays video]
Captain Spock: Hold.
Commander Pavel Andreievich Chekov: It *is* Enterprise. *We* fired.
Captain Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott: That is *not* possible! All weapons *visually* accounted for,
Captain Spock: An ancestor of mine maintained that if you eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.
Cmdr. Nyota Uhura: What, exactly, does *that* mean?
Captain Spock: It means that we can not have fired those torpedoes, someone else did.
Captain Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott: Well, they dinna fire on themselves, and there were no the ships present.
Captain Spock: There was an enormous neutron energy surge.
Captain Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott: Not from us!
Commander Pavel Andreievich Chekov: A neutron surge that big could only be produced by another ship.
Cmdr. Nyota Uhura: Kronos One?
Captain Spock: Too far away. Very near *us*. Possibly *beneath* us.
Captain Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott: If there were a ship beneath us, the Klingons would have seen her.
Captain Spock: [pause] Would they?
Lieutenant Valeris: A bird-of-prey.
Captain Spock: A bird-of-prey.
Commander Pavel Andreievich Chekov: *Cloaked?*
Captain Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott: A bird-of-prey cannot fire when she's cloaked.
Captain Spock: All things being equal, Mr. Scott, I would agree. However, things are not equal. This one *can*.
Lieutenant Valeris: We must inform Starfleet Command.
Captain Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott: Inform them of what? A new weapon that is invisible? Raving lunatics, that's what they'll call us. They'll say we're so desperate to exonerate the Captain, we'll say *anything*.
Captain Spock: And they would be correct. We have no evidence, only a theory which happens to fit the facts.
Cmdr. Nyota Uhura: Assuming you're right, Mr. Spock, why would they fire on their own president?
Captain Spock: Indeed.
Uhuru: Captain, I have orders from Starfleet Command. We're to put back to spacedock immediately to be decommissioned.
Captain Spock: If I were human, I believe my response would be... "go to hell." If I were human.
Commander Pavel Andreievich Chekov: Course heading, Captain?
Captain James T. Kirk: Second star to the right and straight on till morning.
Captain James T. Kirk: Bones, are you afraid of the future?
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: I believe that was the general idea that I was trying to convey.
Captain James T. Kirk: I don't mean this future.
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: What is this, multiple choice?
General Chang: Well, most kind... parting is such sweet sorrow. Captain, have we not heard the chimes at midnight?
Captain James T. Kirk: I'm going to sleep this off. Please let me know if there's some other way we can screw up tonight.
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: I'm gonna find myself a pot of black coffee.
Captain Spock: Doctor, would you care to assist me in performing surgery on a photon torpedo?
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: Fascinating!
Captain Hikaru Sulu: In range?
Helmsman Lojur: Not yet sir.
Captain Hikaru Sulu: Come on, come on.
Helmsman Lojur: She'll fly apart!
Captain Hikaru Sulu: *Fly her apart then!*
Captain Hikaru Sulu: [pointing to the image on the viewscreen] Praxis?
Excelsior Officer: What's left of it, sir!
McCoy: [after Kirk and Martia kiss passionately] What IS it with you, anyway?
Kirk: Still think we're finished?
McCoy: More than ever!
Captain James T. Kirk: Names, Lieutenant!
Lieutenant Valeris: I do not remember.
Captain Spock: A lie?
Lieutenant Valeris: A choice.
Captain James T. Kirk: Spock?
[Valeris recoils as he tries to mind-meld, but he restrains her]
Chekov: From Starfleet?
Captain James T. Kirk: Who else?
Captain James T. Kirk: Who else?
Captain James T. Kirk: Where is the peace conference? Where is the peace conference?
[as Valeris gasps in pain, Spock lets her go]
Captain Spock: She does not know.
Scotty: Then we're dead.
Captain Spock: I've been dead before. Contact Excelsior. She'll have the coordinates.
Captain Spock: The lieutenant was the first Vulcan to be graduated at the top of her class at the Academy.
Captain James T. Kirk: You must be very proud.
Lieutenant Valeris: I don't believe so, sir.
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: She's a Vulcan, all right.
Commander Pavel Andreievich Chekov: [to Uhura] Guess who's coming to dinner.
[after Kirk wins a fight against an alien twice his size]
Martia: They'll respect you now.
Captain James T. Kirk: That's a comfort. I was lucky that thing had knees.
Martia: That was not his knee.
[Kirk looks at Martia in surprise]
Martia: Not everyone keeps their genitals in the same place, Captain.
Captain James T. Kirk: Anything you want to tell me?
[Martia smiles at Kirk]
Lieutenant Valeris: We must inform Starfleet Command...
Captain Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott: Inform them of what? A new weapon that's invisible? Raving lunatics, that's what they'll call us! They'll say we're so desperate to exonerate the captain that we'll say anything.
Captain Spock: And they would be correct. We have no evidence, only a theory which happens to fit the facts.
Captain Hikaru Sulu: Nice to see you in action for one last time, Captain Kirk. Take care.
Cmdr. Nyota Uhura: You are Crewman Dax?
Crewman Dax: Yes Commander. What is the problem?
Commander Pavel Chekov: Perhaps you have heard Russian epic of Cinderella? If shoe fits, wear it!
[drops magnetic boots at Dax's feet]
Captain Spock: Mr. Chekov...
[camera pans down to show that Dax's feet are incapable of fitting into boots]
Captain James T. Kirk: Mr. Scott?
Captain Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott: [over intercom] Aye, sir?
Captain James T. Kirk: Did you find the engine room?
Captain Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott: Right where I left it, sir!
Excelsior Officer: [checking the scanners] I've confirmed the location of Praxis, but...
Captain Hikaru Sulu: What is it?
Excelsior Officer: [turning to face Sulu] I cannot confirm the existence of Praxis!
General Chang: In space, all warriors are cold warriors.
[the crew enter the bridge]
Kirk: Once again, we've saved civilization as we know it.
McCoy: And the good news is they're not going to prosecute.
Uhuru: They might as well have prosecuted me. I felt like Lt. Valeris.
McCoy: [looks at Spock] Well, they don't prosecute people for having feelings.
Chekov: Just as well, or we'll all have to turn ourselves in.
Captain James T. Kirk: Bones, I'm wearing a veridium patch on my back! Spock slapped it there just before we went on Gorkon's ship!
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: Why, that cunning little Vulcan!
Martia: Come on! We're in the clear!
Captain James T. Kirk: Now that we're outside the shield, they'll be able to locate us two sectors away.
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: If they're even looking for us.
Chancellor Gorkon: And this is General Chang, my chief of staff.
General Chang: I have... so wanted to meet you, Captain.
Captain James T. Kirk: I'm not sure how to take that.
Captain James T. Kirk: [Valeris has just engaged thrusters to take Enterprise out of Spacedock] Thank you Lieutenant, ahead one quarter impulse power
Lieutenant Valeris: [spins in chair to face Kirk] Captain, may I remind you that regulations specify thrusters only whilst in spacedock.
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: [the bridge crew cough loudly, Chekov shakes his head, Uhura tuts softly. McCoy leans in to tease Spock] Jim?
Captain James T. Kirk: You heard the order, Lieutenant...
Lieutenant Valeris: Aye, sir!
Martia: You're Kirk and McCoy, I presume.
Captain James T. Kirk: How did you know that?
Martia: We don't get many presidential assassins.
Captain James T. Kirk: We didn't kill Gorkon!
Martia: Of course not. But there is a reward for your death.
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: That figures.
Captain James T. Kirk: [on the viewscreen] Captain Sulu! You realize that just by talking to me, you're violating regulations?
Captain Hikaru Sulu: I'm sorry, Captain, your message is breaking up...
Captain James T. Kirk: Bless you, Captain.
Captain Spock: What we require now is a feat of linguistic legerdemain and a degree of intrepidity before the Captain and Dr. McCoy freeze to death.
Captain James T. Kirk: [dictating his personal log] The Enterprise hosted Chancellor Gorkon and company to dinner last night. Our manners weren't exactly Emily Post. Note to the Galley; Romulan Ale no longer to be served at diplomatic functions.
[Kirk is fighting with Martia disguised as Kirk]
Captain James T. Kirk: I can't believe I kissed you.
Martia (appearing as Kirk): Must have been your lifelong ambition.
Federation President: Let us redefine progress to mean that just because we can do a thing, it does not necessarily mean we must do that thing.
Captain Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott: [referring to Gorkon's daughter, whom he believed killed Gorkon] That Klingon bitch killed her father.
Captain Spock: Her own father?
Lieutenant Valeris: It is an old story, sir.
Captain Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott: They don't place the same value on life as we do, Spock. You know that. Mark my word, she did not shed one bloody tear.
Captain Spock: Hardly conclusive, Mr. Scott, since Klingons have no tear ducts.
Captain James T. Kirk: [Spock has beamed Kirk and Bones aboard just before they find out who framed them] No! No! Of all the - son of a - Couldn't you have waited two seconds?
Captain Spock: Captain.
Captain James T. Kirk: He was just about to explain the whole thing.
Commander Pavel Andreievich Chekov: You want to go back?
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: Absolutely not!
Captain James T. Kirk: [whispering] It's cold.
Captain James T. Kirk: Where's that damn torpedo?
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: It's ready, Jim. Lock and load!
Captain James T. Kirk: [clenches fist] Fire!
Captain Hikaru Sulu: Stardate 9521.6. Captain's Log, USS Excelsior. Hikaru Sulu commanding. After three years, I have concluded my first assignment as master of this vessel, cataloguing gaseous planetary anomalies in Beta Quadrant. We're heading home under full impulse power. I'm pleased to report that ship and crew have functioned well.
Captain Hikaru Sulu: [seeing the convictions of Kirk and McCoy on the Klingon broadcast] Send to Commander, Enterprise: "We stand ready to assist you" - Captain Sulu, USS Excelsior.
Klingon Commander: This is the gulag Rura Penthe. There is no stockade. No guard tower. No electronic frontier. Only a magnetic shield prevents beaming. Punishment means exile from prison, to the surface. On the surface, nothing can survive. Work well, and you will be treated well. Work badly, and you will die.
Captain Hikaru Sulu: [seeing the Enterprise] Shields up! All right, now we've given them something else to shoot at.
Lieutenant Valeris: A Bird-of-Prey?
Captain Spock: A Bird-of-Prey.
Commander Pavel Chekov: Cloaked?
Captain Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott: A Bird-of-Prey cannot open fire when she's cloaked!
Captain Spock: All things being equal, Mr. Scott, I would agree with you. However, all things are not equal. This one can.
Captain Hikaru Sulu: [after seeing the Enterprise's torpedo hit the Bird-of-Prey] Target that explosion and fire!
Captain Spock: Two months ago, a Federation starship monitored an explosion on the Klingon moon Praxis. We believe it was caused by over-mining and insufficient safety precautions. The moon's decimation means the deadly pollution of their ozone. They will have depleted their supply of oxygen in approximately fifty Earth years. Due to their enormous military budget, the Klingon economy does not have the resources with which to combat this catastrophe. Last month, at the behest of the Vulcan ambassador, I opened a dialogue with Gorkon, chancellor of the Klingon High Council. He proposes to commence negotiations at once.
Admiral Cartwright: Negotiations for what?
Captain Spock: The dismantling of our space stations and starbases along the Neutral Zone, an end to almost 70 years of unremitting hostility which the Klingons can no longer afford.
[Quote adaptation from the Cuban Missile Crisis of 1962]
General Chang: Indeed. The record shows that Captain Kirk once held the rank of Admiral. And that Admiral Kirk was broken for taking matters into his own hands in defiance of regulations of the law. Do you deny being demoted for these charges? DON'T WAIT FOR THE TRANSLATION. Answer me now.
Klingon Ambassador: The Chancellor of the High Council is dead - the result of an unprovoked attack while he traveled to see you under a flag of truce on a mission of peace. Captain Kirk was legally arrested for the crime. May I remind you that he and Dr. McCoy boarded Kronos One on their own free will? No of these facts are in dispute, Mr. President.
Federation President: I have ordered a full-scale investigation. In the meantime...
Klingon Ambassador: In the meantime, we expect the Federation to abide by the articles of Interstellar Law, which you claim to cherish. Kirk and Dr. McCoy will stand trial for the assassination of Chancellor Gorkon.
Federation President: Out of the question.
Federation President: Ambassador Sarek, there must be some way to extradite these men.
Ambassador Sarek: Mr. President, I share a measure of personally responsibility in this matter, but I am obliged to confirm my esteemed colleague's legal interpretation.
Federation President: What is the position of the Romulan government, Ambassador Nanclus?
Ambassador Nanclus: I must concur with my colleagues.
Federation President: But you can't possibly believe that James Kirk assassinated the Chancellor of the High Council.
Ambassador Nanclus: Mr. President, I don't know what to believe.
Klingon Ambassador: I'm waiting for your answer, sir.
Federation President: This president is not above the law.
[as soon as Azetbur finishes her transmission to the Federation President, Kerla unrolls war plans on her desk]
Brigadier Kerla: Attack them now, while we still can!
Klingon general #1: Attack or be slaves in their world.
Klingon general #2: We can take whole by force what they propose to divide.
Azetbur: War is obsolete, general... as we are in danger of becoming.
Admiral Cartwright: I don't know whether to congratulate you or not, Jim.
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: I wouldn't.
Chief in Command: Sir, those men have literally saved this planet.
Federation President: Yes Bill, I know that. And now they're going to save it again... by standing trial.
Kirk: What are we all doing here?
McCoy: Maybe they're throwing us a retirement party.
Scotty: That suits me. I just bought a boat.
Uhuru: This had better be good. I'm supposed to be chairing a seminar at the Academy.
Chekov: Captain, isn't this just for top brass?
McCoy: If we're all here, where's Sulu?
Kirk: *Captain* Sulu, on assignment. Where's Spock?
Captain James T. Kirk: [Fighting Martia who has changed to look like him] Isn't it about time you became something else?
Martia (appearing as Kirk): I like it here.
Captain Hikaru Sulu: [an energy wave has buffeted Excelsior] Don't tell me that was any meteor shower!
Captain Spock: Is it possible that we two, you and I, have grown so old and so inflexible that we have outlived our usefulness? Would that constitute... a joke?
Captain James T. Kirk: Don't crucify yourself. It wasn't your fault.
Captain Spock: I was responsible.
Captain James T. Kirk: For no actions but your own.
Captain Spock: That is not what you said at your trial.
Captain James T. Kirk: That was as captain of the ship. Humans beings...
Captain Spock: But, Captain, we both know that I am not human.
Captain Spock: This ship will be searched from bow to stern, Lieutenant Valeris, you'll be in charge.
Lieutenant Valeris: Aye, sir.
Commander Pavel Andreievich Chekov: I do not understand. If there *was* a ship underneath us, surely the assassins beamed aboard from *that* vessel, not Enterprise.
Captain Spock: You're forgetting something, Mr. Chekov. According to out databanks, this ship fired those torpedoes. If we *did*, the killers are here. If we did *not*, whoever altered the databanks is here. In either case, what we are looking for *is* here.
Commander Pavel Andreievich Chekov: What *are* we looking for, sir?
Captain Spock: Lieutenant?
Lieutenant Valeris: Two pairs of gravity boots.
Lieutenant Valeris: Do you not recognize that a turning point has been reached in the affairs of the Federation?
Captain Spock: Mmm. History is replete with turning points, Lieutenant. You must have faith.
Lieutenant Valeris: Faith?
Captain Spock: That the universe will unfold as it should.
Chekov: We do believe all planets have a sovereign claim to inalienable human rights.
Azetbur: Inalien? If you could only hear yourselves. Human rights. Why, the very name is racist. The Federation is no more than a "homo sapiens only" club.
General Chang: Present company excepted, of course.
Captain Spock: [to Valeris] What you want is irrelevant, what you have chosen is at hand.
[His ship is about to be destroyed by The Enterprise]
General Chang: [last words] To be... or not to be?
[Spock and McCoy are heading for the Torpedo bay]
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: Bet you wished you'd stood in bed!
Chancellor Gorkon: [last words to Kirk before death] Don't let it end this way, captain.
[Considering a military strike against the Klingons]
Federation President: Suppose you precipitate a full-scale war?
Colonel West: In that case, Mr. President, we can clean their choronometers.
Ambassador Nanclus: Mr. President, they are vulnerable... there will never be another time.
Admiral Cartwright: The longer we wait, the less successful the hostages will be, sir.
Captain James T. Kirk: Signal our surrender.
Uhura: [shocked] Captain?
Captain James T. Kirk: We surrender!
Uhura: [to Gorkon's ship] This is Enterprise. We surrender.
General Chang: There we have it, citizens. We have finally established the particulars of the crime. And now we come to the architect of this tragic affair: James Tiberius Kirk. What would your favorite author say, Captain? "Let us sit upon the ground and tell sad stories of the death of kings." Tell us your sad story, Kirk. Tell us that you planned to take revenge for the death of your son.
Captain James T. Kirk: That's not true.
Klingon Defense Attorney: Objection! Captain Kirk has not been identified as the assassin.
Klingon Judge: Sustained.
General Chang: I enter into the record this except from the captain's personal log.
Captain James T. Kirk: [voice recording] I've never trusted Klingons, and I never will. I have never been able to forgive them for the death of my boy.
Klingon Translator: [clamoring from the Klingon gallery] Again! Again!
General Chang: [the recording repeats] Are those your words?
Captain James T. Kirk: Those words were spoken by me.
Klingon Defense Attorney: Objection! My client's political views are not on trial.
General Chang: On the contrary! Captain Kirk's views and motives are indeed at the very heart of the matter! This officer's record shows him to be an insubordinate, unprincipled, career-minded opportunist with a history of violating the chain of command whenever it suited him!
Captain James T. Kirk: [after Kronos One is fired on] Torpedo bay, did we fire those torpedoes?
Captain Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott: Negative, Captain. According to inventory, we're still fully loaded.
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: Chancellor Gorkon.
Captain James T. Kirk: My god. What has happened here?
General Chang: You dare to feign ignorance?
Captain James T. Kirk: What happened?
General Chang: With a direct torpedo hit, you crippled our entire gravitational field! And two of your Starfleet crew beamed aboard wearing magnetic boots and did this.
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: Aren't you carrying a surgeon?
General Chang: We were until this disgrace.
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: Well, then for god sakes, man, let me help.
Captain James T. Kirk: Chancellor, we've been ordered to escort you through Federation space to your meeting on Earth.
Chancellor Gorkon: Thank you, Captain.
Captain James T. Kirk: Would you and your party care to dine this evening aboard the Enterprise with me and my officers, as guests of the United Federation of Planets?
Chancellor Gorkon: We would be delighted to accept your gracious invitation.
Captain James T. Kirk: We'll make arrangements to have you beamed aboard at 1930 hours.
Chancellor Gorkon: I shall look forward to that.
Captain James T. Kirk: [heading for the turbolift, he passes by Spock] I hope you're happy.
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: Are we firing torpedoes?
Captain James T. Kirk: I wish I knew.
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: Well, it sure looks like it.
Captain James T. Kirk: I'm going aboard. Spock, you have the conn.
Captain Spock: I'm responsible for involving you in this. I will go.
Captain James T. Kirk: No, I'll go. You'll be responsible for getting me out of this. We'll not be the instigators of full-scale war on the eve of universal peace.
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: I'm going, too. They may need a doctor.
Captain Spock: Perhaps you're right.
Captain James T. Kirk: Uhura, tell them we're coming, and tell them we're unarmed.
Excelsior Officer: I have an energy wave at 240 degrees mark 6 port, sir.
Captain Hikaru Sulu: Visual!
[seeing the wave on the viewscreen]
Captain Hikaru Sulu: My... god! Shields. Shields!
Captain Spock: I find this curious.
Captain James T. Kirk: Spock, I'm really tired.
Captain Spock: We are reading an enormous amount of neutron radiation.
Captain James T. Kirk: [his interest piqued] Where?
Captain Spock: Strangely enough, it appears to be emanating from us.
Captain James T. Kirk: The Enterprise?
Captain James T. Kirk: [Spock volunteered him to escort the Klingon Chancellor to Earth for peace talks] How could you vouch for me? That's arrogant presumption.
Captain Spock: My father requested that I open negotiations...
Captain James T. Kirk: I know your father is the Vulcan ambassador, for heaven's sake, but you know how I feel about this.
Brigadier Kerla: Captain Kirk, I thought Romulan ale was illegal.
Captain James T. Kirk: One of the advantages of being a thousand light-years from Federation Headquarters.
Captain James T. Kirk: On occasion, I have disobeyed orders.
General Chang: And were you obeying or disobeying orders when you arranged the assassination of Chancellor Gorkon?
Captain James T. Kirk: I didn't know about the assassination until we boarded the ship.
General Chang: You still deny the Enterprise fired on Kronos One?
Captain James T. Kirk: Well...
Klingon Defense Attorney: Your Honors, please!
General Chang: And you still deny your men beamed aboard and shot the chancellor?
Klingon Defense Attorney: Objection!
Captain James T. Kirk: I cannot confirm or deny actions I did not witness.
General Chang: Captain Kirk, are you aware that as the captain of a starship, you are required to be responsible for the actions of your men?
Captain James T. Kirk: I am.
General Chang: And if it should be proved that members of your crew did in fact carry out such an assassination...
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: Jim, they're setting us up. Your Honors...
Klingon Defense Attorney: Do not answer!
Klingon Judge: Captain Kirk, you will answer the question.
Captain James T. Kirk: As captain... I am responsible for the conduct of the crew under my command.
General Chang: Your Honors, the State rests.
General Chang: Have you not a shred of decency in you, Kirk? We come in peace, and you blatantly defile that peace. For that, I shall blow you out of the stars.
Captain James T. Kirk: We haven't fired.
Captain Spock: Captain. According to our databanks, we have. Twice.
Chekov: [Kirk and Bones have been arrested by the Klingons] Mr. Spock, we've got to do something.
Captain Spock: I assume command of this ship as of 0230 hours. Commander Uhura, please notify Starfleet headquarters. Tell them precisely what has taken place and request instructions.
Cmdr. Nyota Uhura: Aye, sir.
Lieutenant Valeris: We cannot allow them to be taken back to Kronos as prisoners.
Captain Spock: What do you suggest, Lieutenant? Opening fire will not retrieve them. And an armed conflict is precisely what the captain wished to avoid. We will be able to follow the captain's movements.
Lieutenant Valeris: How did you achieve this, sir?
Captain Spock: Time is precious, Lieutenant. We must endeavor to piece together what happened here tonight. According to our data bank, this ship fired those torpedoes.
Captain Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott: No way!
Captain Spock: I sympathize, Mr. Scott, but we need evidence. Please accompany me.
Chekov: And if we cannot piece together what happened? What then, sir?
Captain Spock: In that case, Mr. Chekov, it resides in the purview of the diplomats.
Klingon Judge: It is the determination of this court that the prisoners are... guilty as charged.
Klingon Defense Attorney: I wish to note for the record that the evidence against my clients is entirely circumstantial. I beg the court to consider this when pronouncing its sentence.
Klingon Judge: So noted. Captain James T. Kirk, Dr. Leonard McCoy, in the interest of fostering amity for the forthcoming peace talks, the sentence of death is commuted.
[clamoring from the gallery]
Klingon Judge: It is the judgment of this court that, without possibility of reprieve or parole, you be taken from this place to the dilithium mines on the penal asteroid of Rura Penthe, there to spend the rest of your natural lives.
Uhuru: [watching on the Enterprise] Rura Penthe?
Chekov: Known throughout the galaxy as the alien's graveyard.
Scotty: Better to kill them now and get it over with.
Captain Spock: You've done well, Valeris. As your sponsor at the Academy, I have followed your career with satisfaction. And as a Vulcan, you've exceeded my expectations.
Lieutenant Valeris: [looking at a painting on the wall] I do not understand this representation.
Captain Spock: It is a depiction from ancient Earth mythology: the expulsion from paradise.
Lieutenant Valeris: Why keep it in your quarters?
Captain Spock: It is a reminder to me that all things end.
Admiral Cartwright: To offer Klingons safe haven within Federation space is suicide. Klingons would become the alien trash of the galaxy. And if we dismantle the fleet, we'd be defenseless before an aggressive species with a foothold on our territory. The opportunity here is to bring them to their knees. Then we'll be in a far better position to dictate terms.
Captain James T. Kirk: Sir?
Chief in Command: Captain Kirk.
Captain James T. Kirk: The Klingons have never been trustworthy. I'm forced to agree with Admiral Cartwright. This is a terrifying idea.
Captain Spock: It is imperative that we act now to support the Gorkon initiative, lest more conservative elements persuade his empire that it is better to attempt a military solution and die fighting.
Chief in Command: You, Captain Kirk, are to be our first olive branch.
Captain Spock: We have volunteered to rendezvous with the Klingon vessel which is bringing Chancellor Gorkon to Earth and to escort him safely through Federation space.
Chief in Command: Well, there are Klingons who feel the same way about the peace treaty as yourself and Admiral Cartwright. But they'll think twice about attacking the Enterprise under your command.
Captain Spock: I have personally vouched for you in this matter, Captain.
Captain James T. Kirk: You have personally vouched?
Chief in Command: You will extend Chancellor Gorkon full diplomatic courtesy, Captain Kirk.
Captain James T. Kirk: But a full ambassador would be better equipped...
Chief in Command: If there's no further business, I wish you and your crew godspeed.
Uhuru: We're to report back at once.
Chekov: We cannot abandon Captain Kirk and Dr. McCoy.
Uhuru: Of course not.
Lieutenant Valeris: 400 years ago on the planet Earth, workers who felt their livelihood threatened by automation flung their wooden shoes called sabots into the machines to stop them. Hence the word "sabotage."
Uhuru: [getting the point] We are experiencing technical malfunction. All backup systems inoperative.
Chekov: Excellent. Uh, I-I mean... too bad.
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: For 27 years, I've been ship surgeon aboard the USS Enterprise. In three months, I stand down.
General Chang: Ah. You know... I believe that you consumed a rather generous amount of Romulan ale in the officers' mess on the night in question. Am I right, Doctor?
Klingon Defense Attorney: Objection!
Klingon Judge: Sustained.
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: We all did. All of us. That doesn't mean...
General Chang: Was Chancellor Gorkon alive when you first examined him?
General Chang: Now, be careful, Doctor. Have you ever, in your past, saved patients as barely alive as he?
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: I didn't have the medical knowledge I needed for Klingon anatomy.
General Chang: I see.
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: You were there.
General Chang: You say you are due for retirement. May I ask, do your hands shake?
Klingon Defense Attorney: Objection!
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: I was nervous!
General Chang: No. You were incompetent.
Azetbur: Mr. President, I've been named Chancellor by the High Council in my father's place.
Federation President: Madam Chancellor. You have my sincerest condolences on your recent loss. I want to assure you that this shameful deed will not...
Azetbur: Mr. President, let us come to the point. You want this conference to go forward, and so did my father. I will attend in one week on one condition: we will not extradite the prisoners, and you will make no attempt to rescue them in a military operation. We would consider any such attempt an act of war.
Federation President: We hope you'll be our guest here on Earth.
Azetbur: After recent events, you will understand if I say I prefer a neutral site. And in the interests of security, let us keep the location secret for now.
Federation President: As you wish, Madam Chancellor.
Captain Spock: [analyzing a purple substance Chekov found on a transporter pad] Klingon blood.
Chekov: They must have walked through it when it was floating and tracked it back here.
Captain Spock: Mm. This is the first evidence which corroborates our theory.
Chekov: Now we go to Starfleet?
Captain Spock: Now we expand our search to include uniforms.
Chekov: All uniforms?
Captain James T. Kirk: Some people are afraid of what might happen. I was terrified.
McCoy: What terrified you, specifically?
Captain James T. Kirk: No more Neutral Zone. I was used to hating Klingons. It never even occurred to me to take Gorkon at his word. Spock was right.
McCoy: Try not to be too hard on yourself. We all felt exactly the same.
Captain James T. Kirk: No. Somebody felt a lot worse. I'm beginning to understand why.
McCoy: Well, if you've got any bright ideas, now's the time.
Captain James T. Kirk: Time's the problem. You and I are nothing. But you heard the judge. The peace conference is on again. Whoever killed Gorkon is bound to attempt another assassination... unless we can get out of here.
Captain James T. Kirk: Reverse engines. All astern. 1/2 impulse power. Back off! Back off!
General Chang: [in Klingonese, watching the Enterprise reverse course] What's she doing?
Captain James T. Kirk: What's she waiting for?
Captain Spock: Probably attempting to ascertain why we are reversing. Wondering whether we detect her.
Kirk: [after kicking an alien in its genitals during a brawl] Bones, why don't you see what you can do for him. Let him know we're not holding a grudge.
McCoy: Suppose he's holding a grudge?
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: [sarcastically, as the Enterprise is hit by a photon torpedo] This is fun.
Martia: We're outside the shield. Now it's your turn, Captain.
Captain James T. Kirk: If you say so.
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: [watching Jim punch her] Are you crazy?
Captain James T. Kirk: She didn't need our help getting anywhere. And where'd you get these convenient clothes? And don't tell me that flare is standard prison issue. It's to let them know where we are. Ask her what she's getting in return.
Martia: [wiping blood from her mouth] A full pardon, which doesn't cover this.
Captain James T. Kirk: An accident wasn't good enough. Come on, Spock.
Martia: Good enough for one. Two would have looked suspicious.
[shifting into Kirk as she talks]
Martia (appearing as Kirk): Killed while attempting escape. Now, that's convincing for both.
Martia: When whoever it is makes their move, you won't be here to ask if he's the one. Do you want to get out of here?
Captain James T. Kirk: There's gotta be a way.
Kirk: [coming across an alien that towers over him] Oh, my god.
[the alien says something in its native language]
Kirk: Uh, the, um, universal translator's been confiscated.
[the alien says something again]
Kirk: I'm sorry.
McCoy: [it continues to growl] He's definitely on about something, Jim.
Kirk: [the alien picks him up] If this is your spot, we'll move on.
Martia: He wants your obedience to the Brotherhood of Aliens.
Kirk: He's got it.
Martia: And your coat.
Kirk: I'm afraid not. Besides, it wouldn't fit.
Captain James T. Kirk: Where is the peace conference? They're going to attempt another assassination.
Captain Hikaru Sulu: The conference is at Camp Khitomer, near the Romulan border. I'm sending the exact coordinates on a coded frequency.
Captain James T. Kirk: I'm afraid we're gonna need more than that. There's a Bird of Prey on the lookout for us, and she can fire while cloaked.
Captain Hikaru Sulu: Surely not.
Captain James T. Kirk: Hold on. How many of those things are there? Come on, Lieutenant.
Lieutenant Valeris: Just the prototype.
Captain James T. Kirk: You hear that?
Captain Hikaru Sulu: I'm getting underway now, but we're now in Alpha quadrant. The chances of our reaching the conference in time are slim.
Captain James T. Kirk: When does this conference start?
Captain Hikaru Sulu: According to my information, today.
Captain James T. Kirk: Thank you, Captain Sulu.
Captain Hikaru Sulu: Don't mention it, Captain Kirk.
Lieutenant Valeris: I did not fire. You cannot prove anything.
Captain James T. Kirk: Yes, I can. At my trial, my personal log was used against me. How long did you wait outside my quarters before I noticed you?
Lieutenant Valeris: [to Spock] You knew? I tried to tell you, but you would not listen.
Captain Spock: Neither of us was hearing very well that night, Lieutenant. There were things I tried to tell you about having faith.
Lieutenant Valeris: You have betrayed the Federation... all of you.
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: And what do you think you've been doing?
Lieutenant Valeris: Saving Starfleet. Klingons cannot be trusted. Sir... you said so yourself. They killed your son. Did you not wish Gorkon dead? "Let them die," you said. Did I misinterpret you? And you were right. They conspired with us to assassinate their own chancellor. How trustworthy can they be?
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: Klingons and Federation members conspiring together?
Captain James T. Kirk: Who is "us"?
Lieutenant Valeris: Everyone who stands to lose from peace.
Captain James T. Kirk: [of the prototype Bird of Prey] She's out here somewhere.
Chekov: But if she is cloaked...
Captain James T. Kirk: Then all we have is a neutron radiation surge, and by the time we're close enough to record it, we're ashes.
Captain Spock: 2:09. 2:06. 2:03.
Captain James T. Kirk: Close enough to beam down?
Captain Spock: Not yet, Captain. In two minutes.
Captain Spock: Any progress?
Lieutenant Valeris: None. We have a crew of 300 turning their own quarters inside out, but the killers may still be among them. Surely they've disposed of these boots by now. Would it not have been logical to have left them on Gorkon's ship?
Captain Spock: Even logic must give way to physics. Gravity had not been restored by the time they escaped. Without the boots, they would have floated off the Klingon transporter pads.
Chekov: Why not simply vaporize them?
Lieutenant Valeris: [taking a phaser out of a cabinet] Like this?
[as she fires it at a cooking pot, an alarm sounds]
Lieutenant Valeris: [turning it off] At ease. As you know, Commander Chekov, no one can fire an unauthorized phaser aboard a starship. Suppose when they returned, they threw the boots into the refuse?
Captain Spock: I'm having the refuse searched. If my surmise is correct, those boots will cling to the killers' necks like a pair of Tiberian bats. They could not make their escape without them, nor can they simply throw them out the window for all to see. Those boots are here somewhere.
Uhuru: [entering] Did someone fire off a phaser?
Martia: No one has ever escaped from Rura Penthe.
Captain James T. Kirk: Except us.
Martia: It is possible. I know how to get outside the shield.
Captain James T. Kirk: How do we fit in?
Martia: Getting outside the shield is easy. But after that, it's up to you to get us off the surface before we freeze. Can you?
Captain James T. Kirk: It's possible.
Martia: I can't make it alone, and you're the likeliest candidate to come in this hellhole for months.
Captain James T. Kirk: Candidate for what?
[as she kisses him, Bones rolls his eyes]
Martia: Go to lift seven in the morning for mining duty. I'll see you there. Don't disappoint me.
Excelsior Communications Officer: Sorry to wake you, sir.
Captain Hikaru Sulu: What is it?
Excelsior Communications Officer: Starfleet urgently requests any data we have on the whereabouts of Enterprise.
Captain Hikaru Sulu: [turning a light on] What?
Excelsior Communications Officer: Apparently, they're refusing to acknowledge signal to return to spacedock, sir.
Captain Hikaru Sulu: Signal Starfleet that we have no idea location Enterprise.
Captain Hikaru Sulu: You have hearing problems, mister?
Excelsior Communications Officer: [leaving] No, sir.
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: Would you mind explaining that little trick you do?
Martia: I'm a chameloid.
Captain James T. Kirk: I've heard about you. Shapeshifters. I thought you were mythical.
Martia: Give a girl a chance, Captain.
[shifting into her normal appearance]
Martia: It takes a lot of effort.
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: I don't doubt it. Stop me if I'm wrong, but do we have any way of knowing whether this is the real you?
Martia: I thought I would assume a pleasing shape.
Klingon Commander: No witnesses.
Captain James T. Kirk: Killed while trying to escape.
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: Damn clever, if you ask me.
Captain James T. Kirk: It's a classic.
Klingon Commander: That's what he wanted.
Captain James T. Kirk: Who? Who wanted us killed?
Klingon Commander: Since you're all going to die anyway, why not tell you? His name is...
[Kirk and Bones are beamed away]
Captain Spock: The Klingons have a new weapon: a Bird of Prey that can fire when cloaked. She torpedoed Gorkon's ship.
Captain James T. Kirk: So that's it.
Captain Spock: Not entirely. I have reason to believe that Gorkon's murderers are aboard this vessel.
Captain James T. Kirk: I have a thought about that. Has the peace conference begun?
Chekov: Who knows? They're keeping the location secret.
Captain James T. Kirk: There's always something.
Captain Spock: You were right. It was arrogant presumption on my part that got us into this... situation. You and the doctor might have been killed.
Captain James T. Kirk: The night is young. You said it yourself; it was logical. Peace is worth a few personal risks.
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: [learning Martia is a shapeshifter] What kind of creature is this? Last night, you two were...
Captain James T. Kirk: Don't remind me.
Scotty: Captain! Oh, Mr. Spock! I found the missing uniforms with the Klingon blood on them.
[a door opens, revealing two crewmen dead on the floor]
Scotty: But the uniforms belong to these two men: Burke and Samno.
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: [inspecting a wound] Not anymore. Phaser on stun at close range.
Captain James T. Kirk: First rule of assassination: kill the assassins.
Scotty: Now we're back to square one.
Captain James T. Kirk: [to Spock] Can I talk to you?
[they walk a few feet away to talk privately]
Scotty: I wonder why they weren't vaporized.
Chekov: It would set off the alarm.
Azetbur: Many speculated about my father's motives. There were those who said he was an idealist. Others said he had no choice. If Praxis had not exploded, then quite possibly, his idealism would not have found expression. We are a proud race, and we are here because we intend to go on being proud.
Captain Spock: Gas. Gas, Captain. Under impulse power, she expends fuel like any other vessel. We call it plasma, but whatever the Klingon designation, it is merely ionized gas.
Uhuru: Well, what about all that equipment we're carrying to catalog gaseous anomalies?
[seeing Kirk's reaction]
Uhuru: Well, the thing's gotta have a tailpipe.
Commander Leonard 'Bones' McCoy, M.D.: [watching the Excelsior depart] By god, that's a big ship.
Scotty: Not so big as her captain, I think.